Man mocks alligators, jumps in water and is killed in Texas

[Contrary1]

Sometimes I just can't think of anything to say.

CNN)—"A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped in the water -- despite warning signs -- is dead after being attacked in Texas.

Orange County Police were called to Burkart's Marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator.

Woodward's body was found several hours later. The woman was not injured.

Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted "No Swimming Alligators" sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water.

"He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said 'blank the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said..."

http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/04/us/texas-alligator-attack/index.html

[HFRN]

1. you should never mock alligators

they're very sensitive

[ChairmanAgnostic]

10. Especially the no swimming alligators.

Not only are they sensitive, they are embarrassed about their inability to swim.

[BrotherIvan]

65. LMAO!

[gratuitous]

33. You also shouldn't mock them because you are delicious

And good with ketchup.

[Vinca]

44. Bet he tasted like chicken.

[BrotherIvan]

66. LOL

[Xipe Totec]

69. In the end, yes. nt

First he tasted like buffalo.

Then buffalo chicken.

Finally, just chicken.

[yuiyoshida]

60. Never Mock Turtles either

Especially snapping turtles!

[HereSince1628]

2. Never smile at a 'gator or a crocodile

[GitRDun]

3. Definitely a candidate for Darwin awards.

[TheOther95Percent]

19. First in line for the Darwin Awards.

There are more than a few candidates, but this should put him front and center.

[Hortensis]

31. My first, auto-response. But after being pulled down initially, Tommie's last words were reportedly

for the young woman with him to get out of the water. Then he was pulled down a second and last time. There was no mention of whether he had reproduced before that night. He was 28, so had managed to survive adolescence to adulthood...almost.

As for the Darwin awards, other candidates should include those who apparently often feed gators at the dock this kid jumped off of. Not that there's any need to train alligators to associate us with food, of course -- they are born doing that.

Also regarding potential candidacy, last year we purchased a vacation property with pond and marsh with plenty of gators on two sides -- including a long stretch just 25 feet from our patio and mobile home. A 10-1/2-footer likes to hang out close by, but not because anyone's irresponsible enough to feed him or her. FWIW, we haven't rehung the previous owners' swing between two palms on the water's edge and I at least never step out at night without scouting the territory, whoseever it actually is.

[Warpy]

81. Good idea, but if they get hungry, they'll try for prey

in the water or at the water's edge. They don't hunt on land so the patio is safe.

While they can run fast, they can't run far and it doesn't seem to occur to them to drag anything on dry land, not even the 25 feet you are from their home.

Feeding alligators is one of the dumbest things I've heard of in a long time.

[Hortensis]

88. Thanks, Warpy. It may be a while before I'll be able to snooze there, tho. A neighbor once watched

one keeping pace with someone strolling casually along about 15 feet from the water -- until warned. We purchased to be closer to "nature," and as it turns out not to actually be part of it.

[RebelOne]

4. He deserves the Darwin award. n/t

[Logical]

48. So funny he died, bet his family is laughing! Nt

[johnp3907]

5. Can't blame him.

If the sign said "No Swimming Alligators" that must mean the water is the safest place.

[smiley]

6. commas are important

[sarisataka]

7. Alligators got each other's back

[MoonRiver]

25. Lol!

[BrotherIvan]

67. OMG

[hobbit709]

8. The proper term for swimming in a bayou at night is "BAIT"

[Eleanors38]

16. The methodology of killing large prey is drowning. Evidently, this is what happened. nt

[elehhhhna]

9. 209 years and this dipshit breaks our streak

[longship]

11. His last words: "Watch this!" (A pile of empty beer cans on the shore.) nt

[Jeff Murdoch]

50. "Hold my beer!" nt

[lunatica]

12. I wonder what went wrong

[hlthe2b]

13. Any animal that dates back to the dinosaurs should absolutely not be mocked....

Then again, it does underscore basic Darwinism.

[Eleanors38]

14. They say a gator's brain is the size of a walnut. Which brings up the question...nt

[kath]

38. Heh. And a very good question it is, indeed.

[aikoaiko]

15. YOLO

[awoke_in_2003]

43. OMG...

I just spewed Twinings English Breakfast tea. It may be wrong, but that is what happened.

[BrotherIvan]

68. I am dying in this thread

[exboyfil]

17. Hold my beer while I ....................

[Liberal_in_LA]

18. unwise thing to do

[frogmarch]

20. Maybe he interpreted

the warning sign as saying there are no swimming alligators there - or that alligators are not allowed to swim there. Better signs are needed.

Never smile at crocodiles or mock alligators!

[MelungeonWoman]

47. Can't fix...something.

[jberryhill]

54. He died of bad punctuation.

[ruffburr]

21. Gators can fix-

STUPID,

[MoonRiver]

26. True that!

[Ichingcarpenter]

22. The longest recorded length for an alligator is 19' 2'.

The longest recorded length for an alligator is 19' 2'. This animal was trapped in the early 1900's in the State of Louisiana.

[liberaltrucker]

23. Texas should have it's own Fark tag

[alphafemale]

24. I've see dem dere do this on TV.

I got this.

[CTyankee]

45. jeez, that's funny!

maybe he should try a different golf course...

[0rganism]

55. clearly one of Trump's aspiring elites right there

constantly setting an excellent example for others

the alligator was quite polite, all things considered

i didn't see if he got his ball back at the end

[snooper2]

84. LOL, very end- did it bite ya? Call the Medic

people are fucking stupid

[kairos12]

27. I always say don't mess with Gator Nation.

[NBachers]

28. What? Nobody jumped in to help him?

[ms liberty]

29. I would ask if it was Florida man on vacation, but...

Florida man knows gators will kill you...

[Solly Mack]

30. He was new to the area. I've seen that attitude a lot. Usually fueled by booze. Or ignorance.

That somehow you're smarter or faster than the alligator. You're not.

Tragic. Stupid. Senseless.

[TheCowsCameHome]

32. Tommy, alligators can't read.

Although they are probably smarter than you were.

[thelordofhell]

34. He thought he was Amos Moses...........

[johnp3907]

77. He forgot the stump.

For hittin' 'em on the head.

[Tipperary]

35. Stupid is as stupid does.

Apparently stupid kills as well.

[cloudbase]

36. You have to be careful when you hang out in places

where you're not at the top of the food chain.

[kath]

37. Darwin Mega-Award!

teh Stoopid, it burns!

[Logical]

49. So funny when people die! Really? Nt

[bluedigger]

58. Over 150,000 people die every day.

A few die tragically, a few die heroically, most die unremarked by all but their close associates, and a very few manage to do it amusingly. I think he earned a laugh one final time.

[CANDO]

64. Yeah, what you said

I laugh my ass off at the dumb bastards who are injured/killed messing with animals for sport. Bull riding immediately comes to mind. So does bull fighting. They get their asses messed up, and I laugh hysterically because the ignorant bastards didn't have the better judgment not to be doing what they were doing.

[LanternWaste]

83. We may you presume you cover yourself in ashes and dress in sackcloth after these tales.

We may you presume you cover yourself in ashes and dress in sackcloth after these tales. Really?

[Logical]

86. Hey, its my stalker! nt

[DFW]

39. If only he had been polite to the reptiles from the beginning....

Gators are SO sensitive..........

[hifiguy]

40. That someone could get to adulthood, at least chronologically,

without figuing out that fucking around with large, dangerous animals that can and will kill you, is a RILLY TERRIBLE idea, is beyond belief. How fucking stupid can someone be?

[Gothmog]

41. It is tough living in Texas as times

[awoke_in_2003]

42. "Man mocks alligators"

nothing good ever happens when a sentence starts that way

[lovemydog]

46. Famous last words.

'Fuck the alligators!'

[PatrickforO]

51. Another candidate for the coveted (posthumous) Darwin Award!

[HassleCat]

52. Famous last words

Tom and Ray Mogliozzi, the hosts of Car Talk, had a segment about famous last words. In the movies, when one of the good guys is killed, he usually manages to choke out some brave statement to his comrades. "Never give up, boys!" "Keep em flying, Leftie!" Something like that. But Tom and Ray thought actual last words would be different, more along the lines of, "I wonder what this switch does..." or "Hey! Watch this!" Alligator man reminds me of the second one.

[tularetom]

56. "wow, pulled back the wrong side throttle"

Said the pilot of this airliner just before he disabled the plane's only functioning engine.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/jul/02/transasia-crash-pilot-pulled-wrong-throttle-shut-down-sole-engine

Not as funny as "Blank the alligators" but still...

[Xipe Totec]

71. Uh-oh...

T+1:05............CDR..... Reading four eighty six on mine.

(NASA: Routine airspeed indicator check.)

T+1:07............PLT..... Yep, that's what I've got, too.

T+1:10............CDR..... Roger, go at throttle up.

(NASA: SSME at 104 percent.)

T+1:13............PLT..... Uhoh.

T+1:13.......................LOSS OF ALL DATA.

http://www.hq.nasa.gov/office/pao/History/transcript.html

[Botany]

53. and people wonder how texans can vote for w bush and louie gohmert?

Great last words, "fuck the alligators."

But now they will have to kill the gator because it is a man eater.

[RandySF]

57. 'They were all in love with dyin' they were doing it in Texas.'

[malokvale77]

63. I love the Butthole Surfers.

My son introduced me to them.

Thank you for posting that.

[texanwitch]

59. I just read about this online in the Daily Mail.

There are pictures of this guy.

Good article.

[PufPuf23]

61. I bet the alligators didn't even know they were being mocked.

They just saw easy lunch, sort of an alligator-style put the coals on the barby.

[Monk06]

62. Alligator ain't fussy they like smart meat just as much as stupid meat.

[B Calm]

72. Could this be an example of low intelligence and alcohol?

[pinboy3niner]

74. Unpossible. The alligator swears he doesn't even like alcohol.

[aspirant]

73. "Fuck the alligators"

This guy didn't know that the gator's judicial system outlawed rape: verdict, death penalty.

[texanwitch]

75. The guy was not from Texas.

He was from St. Louis.

There is stupid everywhere.

This is like the guy from Maine who shot fireworks from the top of his head.

Just read about that. He died also.

[Kaleva]

76. According to the sign, there were no alligators in that bayou that could swim.

""No Swimming Alligators"

[texanwitch]

79. Just the floating one's.

It was dark, the beer was cold.

Seemed like a good thing to do.

He was off for the holiday.

It was hot and humid outside.

Let's swim with a large gator near by.

Most likely did it before and nothing happened.

Only takes once.

[Orrex]

78. Typical instigator.

Someone should have come to his gator-aid.

[MisterP]

82. injustice has been served!

http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/09/us/alligator-involved-in-fatal-texas-attack-is-killed/index.html

[texanwitch]

87. The gator died because some fool jumped in a bayou with warnings not to.

The guy who killed the gator lets his children swim in the bayou.

I think this gator may have been in the area for a long time. It was a big gator.

[Rex]

85. You think he would have mocked sharks in a shark tank? 35 million years

says good money on the giant CARNIVOURUS reptile as opposed to the 7 or so million years on a small furry mammal (that still seems to be really stupid at times).




"Say, one of you guys drop a cell phone? I hear it ringing (tickling my tonsils)...why not hop in here and answer it?"

[KamaAina]

89. Gators 1, Longhorns 0