One last thought on JeffR, Xchrom and JackpineRadical

[WilliamPitt]

Anyone who has spent any time at all here knows I am not the best Ambassador of Proper Behavior on DU. In the online realm of the 21st century, where we communicate by typing without ever seeing each other, your keyboard is the content of your character. Mine has been shown to be lacking on a number of occasions, so I am not soap-boxing here in any way whatsoever.

...but the loss of JeffR, Xchrom and JackpineRadical cut deep. Never met them, couldn't pick them out of a line-up, but I feel as if I lost friends. We may not have always agreed, and may have even traded the occasional barb, but they were long-time companions in this place, excellent contributors, and always good company.

So.

Primary season is upon us, which in the past has translated to gouts of blood on the DU walls.

I'm not preaching, because I have no place to at all. But my final takeaway from the loss of these three friends, and all the others, is this:

The person you're roaring at, insulting, belittling, might not be here tomorrow. We've all learned that to our sorrow over the last several weeks.

I'm going to do my best to try and remember that, and act accordingly. Just a thought, but I hope you do, too. The primary wars on DU are what they are, as immutable as gravity...but I don't want to wake up one day and feel my guts twisted with regret over something I said to a fellow DUer who we suddenly lost.

One man's opinion.

RIP, old friends. You will be sorely missed.

[Agnosticsherbet]

1. Very well said, n.t

[villager]

2. Always a salient reminder, Will. And the person *doing* the belittling may not be here, either

I am reminded of Peter Boyle's line in Monster's Ball: "I don't want to go out like this..."

[KamaAina]

3. This primary season is already starting to look like Game of Thrones.

Seeing as how the leading Dem candidate is a centrist who elicits a great deal of passionate opposition from progressive DUers like myself (although I try to keep it "toned down a bit", as they'd say in Minnesota ).

[longship]

11. Yup. But it is many months before the first primary.

This is apparently DU infighting season, which is always damaging to Democratic goals. Most of it is childish personal attacks against a perceived enemy, when the real enemy are the people, like Phyllis Schlafly and Tom Delay and their followers in the GOP who control the vast majority of state houses and both national legislative bodies.

We infight about Hillary vs. Bernie (and no doubt the future O'Malley and Chaffe battles) at our collective peril.

One thing for sure. The personal attacks here on DU on candidate choice have got to stop. It makes DU suck.

[calimary]

18. Totally. As the recipient of a bunch of it today, it's really left me rather sad. And thinking of

leaving. And I NEVER thought I'd find myself saying that.

There are too many people here who seem to forget that we are all, together here, facing a common enemy. And it AIN'T US.

[longship]

32. Thank you, my friend. nt

[Hekate]

46. +1 calimary

[BlancheSplanchnik]

23. ^ n/t

[hfojvt]

53. other people have a different view of the real enemy

If you are against the government of the elite, by the elite and for the elite, then you kinda need to make sure your own party does not nominate somebody who is also part of that group.

If you look at history, in 1992, Clinton was elected. That sorta looks like a victory, but the Democratic Party was really stronger before that happened. Go back to the election of 1960 and look at the number of Democrats in the House - 262-258-295-248-243-255-242-291-292-277-242-269-253-258-260-267-258

then after the 1994 debacle.

204-207-211-212-205-202

34, or more, years of solid Democratic rule in the people's house. Almost the same thing in the Senate, except there was a period 1981-87 when Reagan sorta took the Senate. 57 Democratic senators in 1993, only 48 in 1995. http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0774721.html

Maybe the party did better when it actually stood for the working class?

[longship]

60. I don't think I've expressed any candidate preference.

So your charge of people supporting a government of the elite is utter rubbish, especially so many months before any of us will be even able to vote for a candidate of ones choice. I am willing to let things pan out before I choose a preferred candidate. Especially nearly a year and half before the next presidential election.

Meanwhile, it amuses me that the GOP clown car is filling up so soon, twelve and counting. Today including Donald Trump.

What doesn't amuse me is that some here on DU are willing to agree that presidential campaigns should be perpetual. From my thinking that would be playing into GOP tactics.

I will decide sometime next year. In the meantime I will support all Dem candidates, and will diss none of them.

[KoKo]

4. It is worth mentioning for perspective......Would we be so quick attack people

we invite into our personal home (that we felt we had much in common with) just because they express a different view from time to time... and, then suddenly throw them out on the street because one comment or opinion rubbed us the wrong way?

Why were they invited in to our home in the first place if they hadn't been someone that we felt we had something in common with in the First Place? What about a person suffering stress for personal, financial or health reasons who suddenly pops off at the dinner table. Would they be shown to the door and told "Don't Ever Show Your Face Here, Anymore?" There are many here that I might not agree with on most issues but, am always surprised to find one or two issues that we DO agree on. There are others that I've put on ignore who for some reason somehow end up with the "Tombstone" (or whatever it's called these days) and so I can know that they weren't people who I would have invited into my home in the first place.

As you say:

The person you're roaring at, insulting, belittling, might not be here tomorrow. We've all learned that to our sorrow over the last several weeks.

[WilliamPitt]

5. The ultimate irony of DU:

The person you're shouting at likely agrees with you on 80-90% of the issues.

T'was ever thus.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

50. This ^ ^ ^ ^

Well said

[Blue_In_AK]

6. My plan

is to stay out of the "yea, Hillary" threads altogether. I prefer Sen. Sanders but if we get Sec. Clinton, then I will support her. I don't want to get involved in the primary wars at all.

[Omaha Steve]

7. We have lost several irreplaceable DUers...

For them all.

[Thespian2]

8. Once again

a very thoughtful post from WilliamPitt...Thank you

[Ghost in the Machine]

9. K&R! Great post, my friend. Thank you!

I, myself, even apologized to someone for getting snarky. I live in chronic pain, was hurting bad at the time, and the post just set me off. The other person responded back politely and with dignity, and it made me see what a dick I had been so I apologized to them. We had a nice exchange afterwards..

Peace,

Ghost

[merrily]

31. We're all human.

[Ghost in the Machine]

36. Yes, and thank you. We're all human, but can sometimes be inhumane...

As Will said, we sometimes forget that there's a living, breathing human being on the other side who shares the same feelings that we do, we just see a name on a screen and don't think about it. The way the other poster responded to me made me humble... and that is hard to do most times... but they were polite and dignified, which made me see what an A-hole I had been over a simple question...

Peace,

Ghost

[merrily]

37. It just seemed to me you'd made amends and did not need to keep carrying it around.

If you are truly at peace with it, cool.

[Ghost in the Machine]

38. Yes I made amends, and I'm not carrying it around, I just wanted to point out Will's point and

show that any of us can be guilty at of it at any time. I'm cool with it..

Peace,

Ghost

[merrily]

39. Yes, we're all human.

[AuntPatsy]

10. Nice Will

[11 Bravo]

12. Beautifully said, my friend.

[WillyT]

13. Most Excellent Post, Will !!!

& Rec !!!

[spanone]

14. i've learned that lesson in life ....in general.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

15. "Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy." Ralph Waldo Emerson. n/t

[marym625]

16. Thank you

I have become rather maudlin since yesterday, learning about Jim's passing. Since then i have told a few DUers their voices are important, then stopping myself from saying it to almost everyone with which I interact.

Humor should never stop and criticism of things that are just wrong should continue, but we can accomplish this without hurting anyone.

Beautiful post Will. As usual, I cried reading your words. Something else that connects us all.

Peace JP.

[nolabear]

17. True dat. We're all God's children. Whatever the atheist equivalent is.

I hope all who loved them know they were kind of loved by a bunch of folks who never laid eyes on them as well.

[calimary]

19. One of your most meaningful and important posts - EVER.

It's a good reminder to all of us.

[Dem_in_Nebr.]

20. Well said, Sir.

Well said!

[The Wizard]

21. None of us has any

guarantees on tomorrow. You can't unring a bell and you can't take back a cutting remark. We're here because of a common core of principles and beliefs.
"Never treat a brother like a passing stranger.
Always try to keep the love light burning.
Listen closely to his song and watch his eyes.
He might be the prince of peace returning."
(Claude Leon Russell)

[cherokeeprogressive]

22. Excellent sentiment. If I may remark on your sentence in bolded text...

I sometimes (to myself) liken DU to the NHL's Stanley Cup Finals. Odd comparison for some, I know, but I'll do my best to explain for those who aren't hockey fans, or sports fans in general. Your bolded text immediately brought this to mind.

In the Quest for Lord Stanley's Cup, two teams rise above all the rest and play in a final best-of-seven series to see which team gets to retain the coveted Cup for the next year. During the series, they shove each other into the boards that surround the ice, sometimes so violently that they draw blood. They fight while the referees stand around and let them, until one is clearly besting the other or they go down to the ice. They serve penalties for certain transgressions (I liken that to having a post hidden).

This goes on for at least four games, sometimes it goes all seven. All the while, their agility (to me at least) is unmatched by athletes in any other sport. It's like Ice Dancing, but with a stick and a puck while someone's trying to take the puck from you, kick your butt, and then skate away. For those who don't like American Football because it's so violent; Hockey is all that and a bag o' chips.

Here's where the game takes my breath away though, and never fails to bring tears to my eyes...

After all is said and done, those players who have been at each other's throats for seemingly forever line up opposite one another and in two single file lines, each team shows the other the utmost respect. The players shake hands. They pat each other on the back. They even hug.

DU is often like that for me. For all the rancor and discord I see here, I also see one hell of a lot of common ground between adversaries. When DU is at its best it's a wonderful place to witness and participate in. We come together when we need to most, and we'll come together again after the primaries. Of that I am certain.

[A HERETIC I AM]

59. awwwww...you're gonna make me cry, ya big ol'softie! n/t

[navarth]

24. Yup. Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I've gotten a bit testy with people from time to time, but I really try to not say (type) anything I'll be sorry for.

I've saved myself a lot of headaches by waiting and thinking before I post. I'm not always successful, but I always try.

Mr. Pitt, you are well spoken.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

25. Let it NOT be the last thought.

I don't want thoughts of Pine to end. They should go on...

_/\_ (for xcrom and JeffR too...I just didn't know them)

[jazzimov]

26. Well said, Will. Well said.

This is for you



And this is for the families and loved ones (including DU) of every DUer we've lost:

[Texasgal]

27. The person you're roaring at,insulting,belittiling, may not be here tomorrow

Um hmmm.. I am sure another post of mine will be hidden because you've "spoken"

I am sure you used the same thoughts in Bobbolink? Or other posters you so greatfully slammed down and verbally and and in some cases threatened physical harm to passes for your your sweet and eloquent post?

I'm sure this will be hidden. Oh well. I don't care. Lots of people got you number.

Yeah: The person you're roaring at,insulting,belittiling, may not be here tomorrow. Own it.

[Skittles]

30. .............

lots of folk "got you number" too

[Texasgal]

34. What's my number skits?

Are you gonna kick my ass?

[Skittles]

35. what's Will's?

[tenderfoot]

44. Thank you.

That so needed to be said. Good luck getting a response.

[WilliamPitt]

51. The Bobbolink incident is something I will never live down.

I apologized publicly, and to her privately.

That experience, along with a number of others here, informs the OP I posted.

If there is no forgiveness, I have to live with that. I fucked up and went Rambo on my keyboard, and got banned for it, very deservedly.

Take this for whatever it's worth, but I regret that incident more than anything else in my online experience.

Basically, the point of the OP: Don't be that guy. Don't be me. Don't say things you'll live to regret.

That's all.

[OneGrassRoot]

28. A most grateful K&R. n/t

[ms liberty]

29. So very true. This has hit me harder than I would have thought...

I've been really sad, especially about Jackpine.

[glinda]

33. Thanks William

from someone who was attacked twice in the last week.....

[rhett o rick]

40. Thank you for this post. We will miss these DU posters. I think is sad that apparently

not all DU'ers agree. I want to say to those, that might have a differ perspective, that have come forward, "very classy".

[YvonneCa]

41. Great post, Will. I have often...

...hoped for a more civil DU. One where we are relentless in the issue debate, but kind toward the person making their case.
Civility may be too much to ask or expect here, but an occasional kindness in the midst of an intense discussion could be a good thing.

[nadinbrzezinski]

42. Well at least the spell shitters have not gone after you

for writing one name wrong.

I deleted my OP yesterday that I posted in their memory. No use mostly... and I have decided to mourn my friends on my own.

Nice sentiment, but that is not going to happen here.

[slipslidingaway]

43. Missed the passing of Xchrom ...

and very sorry to read the news.

"The person you're roaring at, insulting, belittling, might not be here tomorrow. We've all learned that to our sorrow over the last several weeks."


Life is short, be the best person you can be to others, even though you might not agree with all their views.

[Enthusiast]

45. Well said. What you said is true.

[cwydro]

47. ...

[Hekate]

48. A toast to absent friends, a call for civility, and a rare rec from me to you

[uppityperson]

49. K&r, back at you Will.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

52. K & R, well said Will....nt

[Blue_Tires]

54. Sad kick

When I'm relentlessly stomping my perceived "enemies" here on the other side of some certain topics, sometimes I literally have to remind myself that there is a living, breathing person on the other end...

[WilliamPitt]

55. Welcome to the club. We get jackets.

[loudsue]

56. Thanks, WilliamPitt: It also makes me grateful for all my favorite remaining old-time DUers.

You being one of those.

Xchrom and JackpineRadical were two of my favorites for many years, and to lose them both in the blink of an eye makes me feel like embracing and appreciating, all the more, the DUers I love most.

Ya know what I mean?

[calimary]

57. Just for those who may not have seen this,

I'm kicking it again.

[Skidmore]

58. How did I miss Xchrom's passing?

This saddens me greatly. We did indeed lose three great friends.

[In_The_Wind]

61. K&R!