David Sedaris Talks About Surviving the Suicide of a Sibling

[tammywammy]

I first met David Sedaris about ten years ago, after he mentioned my Richard Yates biography on the Harvard Book Store website. I wouldn't have been more flattered if I'd discovered that Mark Twain had read and enjoyed my work, and I made a point of attending David's next reading in Gainesville, Florida, where I lived at the time. Later I moved to Norfolk, Virginia, and met David for a drink one night when his tour was in town—or, rather, I had a martini and David, as I recall, had seltzer. He sat across from me, alertly smiling, and sometimes he'd unobtrusively flip open a little steno pad and make a note. Which is to say, he's almost always working, even when he's picking up litter along the side of the road near his home in West Sussex, England (his diligence has been commended by the Queen).

On May 24, 2013, David's youngest sister, Tiffany, killed herself in Somerville, Massachusetts, and David wrote a poignant piece about this and other matters, "Now We Are Five," that appeared in the New Yorker. Tiffany had stipulated in her will that the family "could not have her body or attend her memorial service," and among her effects were a number of family photos that had been ripped to pieces. "Now We Are Five" recounts a family trip that summer to a beach house in Emerald Isle, North Carolina, where the surviving children and their 90-year-old father wonder who Tiffany really was and how things had gone so wrong. "Ours is the only club I've ever wanted to be a member of, so I couldn't imagine quitting," David writes of his family. "Backing off for a year or two was understandable, but to want out so badly that you'd take your own life?"

After reading the piece, I remarked to my wife that Tiffany reminded me a lot of my older brother, Scott, the main subject of a memoir I was about to publish, The Splendid Things We Planned. Growing up, Scott was the more promising one: better-looking, more athletic, and arguably smarter (he spoke German, our mother's first language, whereas I can hardly count to ten in anything but English). In many ways, both good and bad, he was more like me than anyone on Earth: He and only he would laugh at the same stupid shit that I did, and nowadays I often find myself laughing alone, and it will occur to me that Scott would have laughed just as hard. But Scott eventually killed himself, too, and by then it wasn't so surprising, though one always wondered to what extent the drugs and drink contributed to his mental illness or vice versa. As early as the age of ten or so, Scott would tell me he had a different family in another dimension (and no little brother) and that someday he'd disappear into their loving arms forever.

Before his local show on April 29, David and I met at the Skirvin Hilton in downtown Oklahoma City, across the street from where my father practiced law for almost 45 years. We candidly discussed our families, especially the "remarkable messes" that were Tiffany and Scott.

http://www.vice.com/read/remarkable-messes-0000671-v22n6

I thought this was an interesting article

[deutsey]

1. Thanks for posting

I've always loved David's writing (his essay on being an elf at Macy's hooked me but he's gone on to do even better).

[underpants]

2. Holidays on Ice

My folks actually saw that performed at a local community playhouse. I gave my copy to a former coworker and her family read passages out loud as if it were a classic Christmas tale.

Hilarious book.

[tammywammy]

4. There was a lot of discussion when Tiffany

Some accusing David of exploiting his family, especially the one essay on Tiffany.

I'm also a huge David Sedaris fan. I think my favorite is "6 to 8 black men" about the Dutch Santa.

[Bluenorthwest]

3. Here is an article about the 'school' Tiffany Sedaris was sent to, which David glosses over a bit...

'Attack Therapy'. Punishment for smiling.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/06/02/style/skeletons-in-the-classroom.html