I went to the hardware store today. (political tie at end of post.)
My local ACE Hardware. I was installing a new window AC to replace the balky, noisy old one in our living room window. Such jobs always end up with at least one hardware store run.
I drove into the parking lot and noticed several people standing around, looking at something. After I parked, I saw what it was. Over by the propane refill station was a black Ford F150 pickup, with a guy standing by the tailgate. A few feet away was the largest wild Tom turkey I had ever seen. He was in full aggressive display mode, tail all spread and red warty neck growths and wattle all aflame.
The truck owner was flummoxed by this. Clearly, he wanted to get in his truck and leave, but was completely intimidated by this 15 pound bird. The other spectators were all standing well back, too.
I decided to step in. "I'll distract him, so you can get in your truck," I said. Then, I walked toward the turkey. He fluffed himself up even more, gobbled loudly and headed for me. Not having showy tail feathers, I did my best Boris Karloff monster walk, and loudly imitated the gobbling. I walked steadily towards Old Tom, and he kept coming toward me. The showdown was imminent.
When only three feet separated us, Tom stopped dead still, deflated and folded his tail feathers. He put his head down and stood still. I walked over and skritched his head.
The people in the parking lot all started laughing. The guy with the pickup gave me a nod and got in and drove off. I walked down to the store entrance, with Tom Turkey following close behind.
The political tie? Bluffing is a common strategy in politics. You can either be cowed by it, stand around as an observer or call the bluff and face the bluffer down. Its a choice. Turkeys, like political opponents are often just fluff and show. Face them down, and they'll often fold their tails and give up.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Maybe it'll show up on YouTube.
My story is that I came home and drove down the driveway to the garage. Ziggy cat darted in front of the car to sniff the juniper bush to the right of the car. I honked so he would run off - but noooo! He went into the garage and lay down right where the car is supposed to be. He is an obstructionist and not too bright. He cannot be trusted to even save himself from harm. I just decided to put the car away later. He wasn't bluffing - he just too - you know. 
I can nearly see you doing the Boris Karloff monster walk and loudly gobbling at the turkey!
Well done!
Gobble-gobble.
An East Bay friend posted this picture from his front yard:
