There’s a Reason Gay Marriage Is Winning, While Abortion Rights Are Losing

[niyad]

There’s a Reason Gay Marriage Is Winning, While Abortion Rights Are Losing

Are these two “culture wars” issues really that similar?



Why are reproductive rights losing while gay rights are winning? Indiana’s attempt to enshrine opposition to gay marriage under the guise of religious freedom provoked an immediate nationwide backlash. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court has allowed religious employers to refuse insurance coverage for birth control—not abortion, birth control—to female employees; new laws are forcing abortion clinics to close; and absurd, even medically dangerous restrictions are heaping up in state after state. Except when the media highlight a particularly crazy claim by a Todd Akin or Richard Mourdock, where’s the national outrage? Most Americans are pro-choice, more or less; only a small minority want to see abortion banned. When you consider, moreover, that one in three women will have had at least one abortion by the time she reaches menopause, and most of those women had parents, partners, friends—someone—who helped them obtain it, the sluggish response to the onslaught of restrictive laws must include many people who have themselves benefited from safe and legal abortion.

The media present marriage equality and reproductive rights as “culture war” issues, as if they somehow went together. But perhaps they’re not as similar as we think. Some distinctions:
§ Marriage equality is about love, romance, commitment, settling down, starting a family. People love love! But marriage equality is also about tying love to family values, expanding a conservative institution that has already lost most of its coercive social power and become optional for millions. (Marriage equality thus follows Pollitt’s law: Outsiders get access when something becomes less valued, which is why women can be art historians and African-Americans win poetry prizes.) Far from posing a threat to marriage, as religious opponents claim, permitting gays to marry gives the institution a much-needed update, even as it presents LGBT people as no threat to the status quo: Instead of promiscuous child molesters and lonely gym teachers, gays and lesbians are your neighbors who buy Pottery Barn furniture and like to barbecue.

Reproductive rights, by contrast, is about sex—sexual freedom, the opposite of marriage—in all its messy, feckless glory. It replaces the image of women as chaste, self-sacrificing mothers dependent on men with that of women as independent, sexual, and maybe not so self-sacrificing. It doesn’t matter that contraception is indispensable to modern life, that abortion antedates the sexual revolution by thousands of years, that plenty of women who have abortions are married, or that most (60 percent) who have abortions are already mothers. Birth control and abortion allow women—and, to a lesser extent, men—to have sex without punishment, a.k.a. responsibility. And our puritanical culture replies: You should pay for that pleasure, you slut.

§ Same-sex marriage is something men want. Lesbian couples account for the majority of same-sex marriages, but even the vernacular “gay marriage” types it as a male concern. That makes it of interest to everyone, because everything male is of general interest. Though many of the groundbreaking activists and lawyers who have fought for same-sex marriage are lesbians, gay men have a great deal of social and economic power, and they have used it, brilliantly, to mainstream the cause. ********Reproductive rights are inescapably about women. Pervasive misogyny means not only that those rights are stigmatized—along with the women who exercise them—but that men don’t see them as all that important, while women have limited social power to promote them. And that power is easily endangered by too close an identification with all but the most anodyne version of feminism. There are no female CEOs pouring millions into reproductive rights or threatening to relocate their businesses when a state guts access to abortion. And with few exceptions, A-list celebs steer clear.*****

. . . .

http://www.thenation.com/article/205049/theres-reason-gay-marriage-winning-while-abortion-rights-are-losing

[AuntPatsy]

1. Kicking bookmarking excellent read, thank you...

[niyad]

2. you are most welcome

[okaawhatever]

3. K & R nt

[Starry Messenger]

4. I think it's also difficult to make the issue relatable.

Marriage is a cuddly issue that many people of both genders find heartwarming. How do we make something as clinical as abortion into an issue that captures the imagination and emotions?

Anyone who has had an abortion knows that the dire need is there to have it available, but even after having one, I'm not sure how I'd describe to someone who hasn't, in a way that would make them care.

I'm just adding thoughts to the above, since I think about this a lot. Maybe others have insights to share.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

15. I think about it a lot too....

Even though I've never been pregnant. But women's lives depend on safe access, and our autonomy depends on birth control.

Somehow, women's lives have to become valuable.

Remember the million people marching on Washington for Women's Lives Matter, about 6 or something years ago? Well, the March got nearly zero coverage, and the slogan didn't get much traction.
But when it's Black Lives Matter, or Silence=Death, which was the gay community's activist cry that came out of the AIDS era, it matters.

Pollit is right when she says that anything Male is of general interest, while women are a sub-class. A powerless sub-class.

Also, people are accustomed to equating femaleness with victimhood. Our deaths by male violence are so common, our dehumanization so ubiquitous, and our role as victims so familiar, that legislating female-only suffering doesn't even offend general sensibilities.

[Omaha Steve]

5. K&R!

[XemaSab]

6. Gays = middle-class white men

Abortion = poor women

Not the truth, but the perception.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

13. I'd actually amend that...

To Abortion=sluts. I really think that's the perception, aside from economic class. A rich girl who's a slut is as reviled as a poor one.

And when did a slut have any rights?

[BrotherIvan]

7. Sadly true

And no one in the gay community is against their own rights, unlike a huge swath of the female population. The rise of fundamentalism is one of the cornerstones of the effort to make sure women don't get together to fight for their rights.

[dsc]

26. I wouldn't go so far as to say no one

but not nearly as many gays are against marriage equality as women against abortion.

[BrotherIvan]

27. there are always exceptions, true

A friend argued that as a gay man he wasn't for marriage equality because he didn't think homosexuals should copy straights. It was an interesting take and I saw his point of view. Cultural assimilation always has a price. But I still think that all people should be afforded equal rights to marry or not marry as they see fit.

[starroute]

8. Marriage is about happy endings -- abortion is about tragedies

I recognize the sexist element, but I think it's as much that people like thinking about happy stuff and can identify easily with people having their dreams come true.

In contrast, they don't really want to put themselves in the shoes of women who might need an abortion -- unmarried teenagers, women who already have three children they can barely afford to feed, women who have been told the child they longed for has a fatal birth defect. People would rather look the other way and insist it could never happen to them or those they care about.

[BrotherIvan]

28. For some women, abortion is a happy ending

[niyad]

31. exactly

[Luminous Animal]

36. Both my abortions were happy endings.

[Buzz Clik]

9. I believe that the author is missing the real point.

I have had a heartfelt discussion with a dear friend who is pro-life. He honest to God believes that abortion is murder. This is a highly educated, articulate man (whose wife feels exactly the same way) who can talk about this in an unemotional way. He didn't convert me from pro-choice to pro-life, but he convinced me of his unwavering sincerity. It has nothing to do about sex.

And that is the huge difference: people can take a "live and let live" attitude about gay marriage and homosexuality, but they cannot accept abortion when they believe it is murder.

[patricia92243]

18. I'm always shocked that these people would send an infant to live with a "murderer."

Assuming they believe in heaven, the fetus would go to heaven - or home with a person who wants to murderer them.

As an adult, I would not want to live with someone who wanted to murder me and find it very scary.

[historylovr]

19. Forgive me, but it's difficult for me to take people like your friend at their word.

If so-called "pro-lifers" were interested in really saving lives instead of punishing women, they would be pushing for free pre-natal and after care, including day care, greater access to SNAP and WIC benefits, expanded Medicaid, etc. But they're not. They're always looking for ways to cut funding for those little moochers who have the audacity to be born.

[Buzz Clik]

20. Being pro-life by no means is an indication of being opposed to helping those who need it.

He's also a huge believer in sex education and greatly expanded access to birth control.

Your assumptions in this case are not well founded.

[historylovr]

22. I'm sure your friend does all that and more.

Which is why I said people like your friend, people who believe that abortion is murder. I assume nothing about your friend, even if my half asleep wording indicated otherwise. However, and this was my point--I've seen too many who believe abortion is murder who do no more than insist on birth, with no thought of what happens to the mother or the child afterwards.

[Buzz Clik]

25. Sorry for misinterpreting...

We certainly all know the types to which you are referring.

[historylovr]

34. No problem.

[frazzled]

10. Katha Pollitt is just one of the best writers/thinkers out there

and has been for decades.Brava on this one.

I think she nailed the overarching reason in this line: "Reproductive rights are inescapably about women." And that goes a long way in explaining why there is so little hue and cry in response to these appalling laws that are being passed everywhere. Even, apparently, from most women.

I also think the gay community has been the smartest activist group anywhere. I'm old enough to remember when marriage and marriage equality were not anywhere near being a part of the activist equation. I especially remember when it looked askance at the "all-American nuclear family" and its "breeders." But by turning the discussion about gay rights to issues of marriage they hit a gold mine: all of a sudden it was about gaining the right to a piece of the American pie and wanting families like everyone else. How could anyone complain about that?

It's pretty damned hard to turn abortion into a smiley-face, Tony-host palatable subject. Yet it is critical to the lives of millions of women. I don't know how we turn this around. Maybe we have to revert to the days of butchery and back-room horror stories to remind people why Roe v. Wade was needed.

[Dawson Leery]

11. kick

[BlancheSplanchnik]

12. goddammit, that's brilliant analysis right there.

Really upsetting, too, cuz it's so accurate.

You have to either have the power, or scare the power. Women don't have power, and don't scare anyone.

[LittleBlue]

14. "Same-sex marriage is something men want." Not really

Support for same-sex marriage has risen among both men and women in recent years. Today, 55% of women and 49% of men support same-sex marriage.

http://www.pewforum.org/2014/09/24/graphics-slideshow-changing-attitudes-on-gay-marriage/

On abortion men are mixed


The real reason the pro-life movement is so successful is that women are also mixed


The majority of men and women want abortion restricted, that is what fuels the anti-abortion wave we've seen. So while some people call themselves pro-choice in polls, they still support restrictive measures such as term, trans-vaginal ultrasound, and requiring admitting privileges. The anti-abortion side isn't divided in this way. The best you can get from them is "life of the mother" and "rape/incest" but never support for elective abortion.

You would never see a poll of gays with significant numbers of gays opposing or restricting gay marriage. They are unified. Women and pro-choice men in general are not.

[CharlotteVale]

16. So true.

[eridani]

17. She makes very good points, but there is also the existential threat factor to consider

Abortion is an issue where pro and anti positions do not display much generational division. It is an inescapable fact that there are more than a few people in all generations who suspect (sometimes correctly) that if their parents had had real choices, they would never have been born. Marriage equality doesn't raise that kind of personal threat.

[Hiraeth]

21. Thanks for posting this. Very interesting article and discussion.

[theboss]

23. I think it's a racial issue

Upper middle class white people are going to fight for their gay son or daughter or niece or nephew or that nice boy who sold us the dining room set. Because to not fight is for him to be denied. There is no real options for them.


Upper middle class white people are not going to fight for reproductive rights in the same way, because they are always going to have options. They can afford birth control or have health plans that sponsor it. God forbid, if their daughter needs an abortion, they can make the 200 mile trip to wherever the hell it is they need to go. They have options so they aren't going to dive into an incredibly messy issue.

[Lifelong Protester]

24. K & R

I think this is the most true statement and why there is mixed, at best, support for Reproductive Issues: "Reproductive rights are inescapably about women."

It was the same with the right to vote, first proposed in 1848-but it was 'get in line behind disenfranchised men'(I'm thinking men of color) BEFORE we ever consider you- finally by 1920.

[NaturalHigh]

29. I have read (on this site) that abortion is not a man's business.

When that attitude is thrown out so casually (and often callously), how would one expect men to get involved in the pro-abortion fight?

[qwlauren35]

30. This is painful.

Love vs. sex.

When women have to be acknowledged as sexual beings, men freak out. Even though they are the ones having sex with us. I have never understood this.

I want to go to Capitol Hill and ask all of the male Senators and Congressmen what type of birth control their wives use. I would bet that most of them have ever thought about it. And it angers me. Why aren't their wives jumping up and down and urging their husbands to recognize the importance of birth control?

I know that it is unreasonable to hate all men because of the views of a few, but too many men have archaic and dangerous views about women.

And I hate this.

[niyad]

32. . . .

[joeybee12]

33. It is kind of strange the difference now...

Not so long ago all Repuke candiadates were calling all Dems supporters of the homsexual agenda and abortion...they always mentioned both in the same breath.

[DonCoquixote]

35. a truly ugly, nasty truth

Now, disclaimer, gay marriage is somethign that needs to be fought for and won clarly, period. full stop.

However, it is sold as a right, and a happy right, somethign rich suburbanites want to do. A rich celebrity like a lance bass or Ellen or Elton John makes great copy.

Whereas abortion rights remind us that we can find ourselves in a pickle. And the people who cannot afford it are the sort of people we want to prtened do not exist.

Let's be honest, if well off suburban white males could get pregnant, they would still be able to afford an abortion. Abortion rights, reproductive rights (including birth control and ore natal care) hit poor people the worst, and they never make great ad copy; poor people, especially the working poor who because they have a job, cannot get what little of the safety net we have.

[IronLionZion]

37. Gay people are the least likely to have abortions

and the argument could be made that gay marriage really does affect only the 2 people involved and no one else. Nobody dies, nobody has to pay anything, there are no gay marriage clinics to picket, no one who has had a gay marriage to shame and shun from society. When forced to explain why they are against gay marriage, the opponents will eventually get frustrated and feel foolish.

Abortion/Birth Control/Choice : the political cost/benefit ratio is way more divided.