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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsDesperate Residents of Austin Completely Surrounded by Texas
AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) In a deepening humanitarian crisis, residents of the city of Austin report that they are completely surrounded by Texas, a situation that locals are calling dire.
Austin has traditionally enjoyed freedoms as a semi-autonomous region, hosting film festivals and literary events without the interference of its hostile neighbors, but there are growing fears that those days may be coming to an end.
Alarmingly, citizens of Austin report, extremists within the city limits have taken over the Capitol Building and installed a militant government with dominion over its residents.
In recent days, Austin has made desperate requests for assistance to the U.S. military, which will be conducting exercises in Texas in July.
The city is hoping that the United States will use its military might to liberate the isolated municipality and transform it into an independent state along the lines of Kurdistan.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/desperate-residents-of-austin-completely-surrounded-by-texas?mbid=nl_050715_Borowitz&cndid=25394153&mbid=nl_050715_Borowitz&CNDID=25394153&spMailingID=7724212&spUserID=MzM2OTE2NTg3MTcS1&spJobID=680729474&spReportId=NjgwNzI5NDc0S0
Gothmog
(145,489 posts)Comrade Grumpy
(13,184 posts)I said "Austin."
They said, "That ain't Texas!"
WinkyDink
(51,311 posts)ghostsinthemachine
(3,569 posts)Love Austin and have many many friends there. the rest of the state you can keep but Austin rocks.
Fred Sanders
(23,946 posts)not satire from Borowitz at all, it is truth, Austin is literally surrounded by a hostile foreign nation.
Liberal Austin is represented by 80% Republicans in Congress!
AwakeAtLast
(14,133 posts)And IMHO, Austin is becoming overgrown. It is losing its charm with too many condos and no improvements in transportation.
But, as long as I can get me some Torchy's, I will get over it........