Dallas Morning News: Chuck Norris, Greg Abbott still sweating U.S. military’s Texas takeover

[madfloridian]

Chuck Norris, Greg Abbott still sweating U.S. military’s Texas takeover (and Wal-Mart’s secret tunnels?)


Jade Helm 15 — get your tour T-shirts now at the concession stand, next to the Cracker Jacks

Original post May 5 at 9:16 a.m.: On Monday Texas Gov. Greg Abbott doubled down on his decision to have the Texas State Guard keep tabs on federal troops when they Jade Helm the heck outta The Great State of Texas during training exercises this summer. Said Abbott, per the Texas Tribune, “Someone has to be in charge of gathering and disseminating information, and we stepped in to play that role, which is a role to be applauded.” And if you think that’s wrong, he says, then you’re just overreacting … to his overreaction?

Speaking of …

If you’ve been keeping up with this story, you’re also aware of stories/rumors/urban myths/star-spangled hallucinations concerning some shuttered Wal-Marts and the tunnels the U.S. military’s digging beneath them, Great Escape-style, for the Great Texas Takeover of 2015. Wal-Mart insists the closures are temporary and because of some kind of a plumbing fix. But clearly that’s a cover story.

“There’s no truth to the rumors,” Wal-Mart spokesperson Lorenzo Lopez told Talking Points Memo yesterday. Because of course that’s what he’d say.

And Army Col. Steve Warren said yesterday that this is no big deal, because, ya know, “Operation Jade Helm is being conducted by Americans — by, specifically, American special forces personnel.” Said Warren, “Operation Jade Helm poses no threat to any American’s civil liberties.” Because of course that’s what he’d say.

“You know who’s calling it a ‘Texas Takeover?”” Jon Stewart asked on last night’s The Daily Show. “Lone Star Lunatics. Dallas Dip—–.” Hey, now. (Watch below.)

[world wide wally]

1. This must be some kind of a record for stupid

[hack89]

3. You obviously didn't spend much time in the old DU 9/11 forum. nt

[madinmaryland]

10. Isn't that now the creative speculation group?

[hack89]

11. Yes - but it is moribund now. nt

[daredtowork]

2. Can't we turn this into a national holiday?

This country has been under a lot of stress for so long. The GOP has been trying to enforce austerity on those who can least afford it - threatening food stamps and social security, and making budget cuts that led to chaos in State programs. The Democrats chose a Triangulation/Third Way/New Dem experiment back in the 80s that make them as harsh on the poor as the GOP. The only ones who seem to be making any headway are immigrants - which is why the GOP is doubling down on their hate.

We need a collective vacation from rightwing austerity B.S.

Having a good laugh at the Jame Helm craziness is as good a reason as any. This justifies at least one kettle of popcorn per minute per US household and all the we-don't-care-about-the-calories Big Soda indulgence we can drink. (Or beer if you have valid ID).

We need to go out in convertibles, spread out picnic baskets, wave our teensy tinsy American flags and celebrate our God-given right to be loony tunes in this great country.

Who is with me? Wouldn't this make a great holiday?

[Vinca]

4. If I lived in Texas, this would be the final straw. I'd be packing.

Forget the border fence, we ought to fence in Texas and send in a team of psychiatrists.

[Gothmog]

5. It is tough living in Texas as times

This stupidity is getting silly

[Buns_of_Fire]

6. Well, Texas IS the home of Crazy Water

http://drinkcrazywater.com/cw/

Soon, Governor Abbott (no relation to Bud Abbott of "Abbott and Costello&quot will use his supreme governor powers to draft all able-bodied men to defend the Republic. There's been no comment from Ted Cruz, who fled to Canada, or Louie Gohmert, who was last seen entering a psychiatrist's office seeking a medical exemption due to ongoing mental stability issues.

[Kingofalldems]

7. Attention Texas Teabaggers!

I am heading for Texas today to help in the liberal communist takeover.

Resistance will be futile. That is all.

[randome]

8. And when it's all over, they will claim they stopped it by bringing attention to it.

Conservatives embarrass themselves again.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]All things in moderation, including moderation.[/center][/font][hr]

[Rex]

9. Well of COURSE the Walton family belong to the Obama Marxist Muslim Syndicate!

Here we see General Kickass letting loose on some evil Wal Mart managers...

[madfloridian]

12. Texas Takeover