Maybe we should have a mayonnaise group

[NuclearDem]

Anyone who says anything nice about mustard or that imposter Miracle Whip gets banned on sight.

[CincyDem]

1. Cool-whip vs. whipped cream...that's the real crime here nobody is talking about. n/t

[NuclearDem]

3. And why people put so much emphasis on the H.

[ballabosh]

164. Hwip

|

[H2O Man]

2. Recommended.

Egg salad is Pee Wee's favorite, after all.

[think]

27. Kind of hard to have egg salad without mustard though

[forest444]

73. Try it with grapeseed oil Vegenaise.

Seriously. Forget how it sounds; it's all of the flavor, none of the guilt.

[NuclearDem]

14. I don't hate mustard. I have a lot of friends who use mustard.

But the mayonnaise group is for mayonnaise users only.

[H2O Man]

17. How would you feel

if a mustard-eating family moved into your neighborhood?

If your daughter dated a mustard-eater?

[pinboy3niner]

19. I think I saw that on an episode of the Gulden Girls

[NuclearDem]

21. I thought it was on Married Whip Children.

[pinboy3niner]

28. The semenal script was Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' video

[awoke_in_2003]

155. Oh

Oh, I thought it was about masturbation

[Renew Deal]

138. lol

[NuclearDem]

23. I thought they were supposed to register when they move to a new neighborhood.

[pinboy3niner]

32. They just have to visit the neighbors to give their condiments

[G_j]

100. I got no problem

with them mustards,

[Reter]

140. AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service

On Fri Apr 17, 2015, 07:35 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

I don't hate mustard. I have a lot of friends who use mustard.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6520400

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Anti-mustard bigotry. He even has "friends" that use mustard. This is a classic way to cover up for anti-mustard hatred.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Fri Apr 17, 2015, 07:39 AM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Haha, funny.
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Oh my God, this was alerted? How about banning the hyper-sensitive nanny cop who alerted?
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Mustardism, while yellow, is not a hideable offense. I personally loathe mayonnaise anyway. Which way did I vote? I don't remember, but I'm sure I'm right.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: I believe there is no such thing as a wrong choice in condiments.
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Frivolous, stupid and unnecessary alert. What a waste of my time.

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[NuclearDem]

142. It's about time juries started standing up for mayo rights.

[treestar]

179. I'd hate to be as obtuse as #3 and #7

To not get the joke here is sad.

[Reter]

195. It's no joke when you alert for fun

It's like pulling a fire alarm in high school.

[treestar]

196. But that was clearly part of the joke of this thread

You can tell by the "reasons."

[marle35]

30. What about ketchup?

There's so much to discuss. How do you spell it? Can you use it on hot dogs? Can you imagine all the debates just on high fructose corn syrup?

[zeemike]

92. Oh now you have done it.

That is disgusting...catchup on hot dogs?...how could you?
I am going to alert on this post.

[marle35]

162. Worst food rule ever

A favorite childhood memory of mine is both ketchup and mustard on a hot dog. What is it about ketchup that ticks people off?

Ironically, I consider myself a mustard freak (Nathan's Coney Island mustard ) and slather it on like crazy on bagels, but for hot dogs, I slightly prefer ketchup. People generally use tomato-y, slightly sweet sauces on meats. Hot dogs are the exception because?

[zeemike]

165. Myself I don't abide by any food rules.

But the way I heard it explained is that catchup on hotdogs is OK when you are a child but when you grow up it is musterd.

But honestly I don't eat hot dogs because they are full of crap...that was not always the case though.
But this thread was just having a little fun and a parade of other threads here on DU.

But welcome to DU and you will find other threads like this from time to time, and I rather enjoy them.

[awoke_in_2003]

156. There is only one true spelling

Heinz spells it with a k, so it must be right. If it is spelled with a c than in is a cheap imitation

[libdem4life]

5. Hmmm. A Mayo Group. What do you have in mind, specifically?

[NuclearDem]

10. A place where fans of mayo can escape the hate.

And discuss how we can make this a more mayo-friendly world.

[libdem4life]

26. Swear, I never tasted Mayo until I was on my own. I bought it by mistake or something.

Now, it's more than just for tuna or egg salad. It's one of my guilty pleasures...just a tablespoon all by itself. Decadent.

[customerserviceguy]

48. A place for healing

We could call it the Mayo Clinic.

[libdem4life]

56. That's what I love about this site...all the really smart asses...very Kunning and Krafty.

[unc70]

90. May have to Duke it out

None of those running runny salad dressing in these parts. Dukes is the only choice allowed

[pinboy3niner]

94. That sounds like Hell, mans. nt

[customerserviceguy]

101. Like I tell my lady

when she calls me a smart ass: "Next time around, find a dumb ass, and see how that works out for you!"

Cheers!

[SwampG8r]

141. I always use

I don't remember your ass doing any tricks










Then I spend alone time.......
You think these are connected somehow?

[840high]

80. Winner!

[pinboy3niner]

52. Who's taking bets on this and what's the spread?

Oh, wait...nevermind.

[libdem4life]

59. Yea, to win would take a Miracle.

[greatauntoftriplets]

6. Bernaise sauce, too!

[pipi_k]

66. Don't be saucy with me

Bernaise!!!

[xfundy]

88. You beat me to it!

[greatauntoftriplets]

123. LOL!

[xfundy]

84. "Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise."

[greatauntoftriplets]

124. Love that both of you posted that!

[Xipe Totec]

7. Whole Nine Yards... Mayonnaise

[Scootaloo]

8. I support a purge of people who like miracle whip. Their presence is unconscionable in any context

[H2O Man]

9. This ain't

miracle whip underground, after all.

[Scootaloo]

24. Seriously though, that stuff is just awful.

Food is my business. I've tried all sorts of very strange things. ever had muktuk? I have. Ever eaten a balut? I have! Did you know that seal tastes like anchovies and cat food? Guess who found that out for you?

Miracle whip is abominable. it is one of the few food-like substances that i will label as 'grotesque" (latest addition to that short list - popchips. OH MY GOD I CAN STILL TASTE THEM)

[H2O Man]

41. Yep. It's awful.

It's on a list of quasi-para-semi-food-like substances that is not allowed in my house. (I like preparing and consuming good food.)

[Ed Suspicious]

77. It's good when you grow up with it.

[NuclearDem]

11. Get rid of those MINOs.

[underahedgerow]

91. Miracle Whip & Peanut Butter sandwiches.

Not Mayo, it only works with Miracle Whip. I've never found a support group for this.

'hangs head in shame'

I was a child of the 60's with very cruel parents.

[Scootaloo]

96. Even a seagull wouldn't eat that n/t

[Stardust]

114. And bananas! Cruel parents here also. Didn't have real mayo until high school, at which point I fell

in love with it. Never went back to Miracle Whip. No wonder my peanut butter, banana, and mayo sandwiches never tasted quite the same...

[underahedgerow]

117. Right? Peanut butter & banana don't work with real mayo, ONLY Miracle Whip.

I may not have ever had real mayo until I left home and discovered it on my own. Then, life as I knew it changed completely.

Here in France their mayo often comes adulterated with lemon or mustard and that always tastes just nasty. I like a nice oil and egg mayo please, pure and simple. Nice fluffy baguette, loads of mayo, loads of ham and cheese, lettuce and tomato, nothing like it.

Except a proper BLT of course. nomnomnomnomnomnom.....

[marble falls]

197. Miracle Whip only works on a sanwich with tomatoes in it....

I hate Miracle Whip AND white bread, but a garden fresh tomato sandwich tastes best when made with Miracle Whip and cheap white bread. Its a very narrow exception.

[Renew Deal]

139. Finally a voice of reason.

[treestar]

180. There really should not be any such people on DU

I am always shocked to find this miracle whip love on DU. No real progressive would like Miracle Whip.

[pinboy3niner]

12. A group for dressing down imposters?

Far be it from me to poop on the idea.

[JaneyVee]

13. F**K MIRACLE WHIP!

[NuclearDem]

16. It can call itself mayonnaise all it wants

We all know it's just gross Cool Whip.

[pipi_k]

69. IMO, more like

pus from a thousand infected ass boils

[pinboy3niner]

70. Surprisingly, 'Miracle Whip' tested better than your suggested brand name

Who'da thunk?

[pipi_k]

135. Well, to be fair...

I'm sure the full color photo on the jar label had a lot to do with it...

[RandiFan1290]

18. With Pumpkins

[Tommy_Carcetti]

173. Awesome song. Awesome album.

Awesome band.

[winter is coming]

22. I insist that a Fried Chicken group be created first!!!! n/t

[NuclearDem]

25. If it can contain all the chicken threads, fine.

[BrotherIvan]

115. Only if everyone agrees that I make the best fried chicken in the world

Coz I do.

[msanthrope]

175. I'll bring the cornflakes. nt

[scarletwoman]

29. I'm conflicted. I agree that miracle whip (gak!) is an abomination, but

my favorite way to eat a hamburger is with mayonnaise AND mustard - and pickles, of course.

Can we not at least agree to a detente with mustard?

[seveneyes]

31. How about a taste of Honey

[Xipe Totec]

33. I wish I could K&R a reply

Or at least put a like on it.

[seveneyes]

35. Innocence amplified

Is guilt denied.

[Xipe Totec]

38. Tupelo Honey

[pinboy3niner]

36. Don't pull that 'Hollier than thou' crap!

[seveneyes]

37. Speaking through trumpet playing lips

The kisses were sweeter than any wine at the time.

[Xipe Totec]

44. Upon one stone shall be seven eyes:

For who hath despised the day of small things? for they shall rejoice, and shall see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel with those seven; they are the eyes of the LORD, which run to and fro through the whole earth.

- Zechariah 4:10

[zeemike]

99. Sometimes you find interesting things in places you don't expect to see them.

[world wide wally]

39. I made some home made mayonnaise for the first time today.

All the time I was wondering what food group this fell into

[mindwalker_i]

40. Hey, we could make a movie

The Phantom Mayonnaise

[Oneironaut]

42. At the risk of getting banned, I'd like to say...

Mustard With Wasabi > Mayonnaise in all cases.

[NuclearDem]

43. You're officially blocked from our glorious mayonnaise group.

[customerserviceguy]

50. Yes, it's a miracle you're not whipped. n/t

[kentauros]

45. Mashed avocado spread on bread is tastier

and full of healthy plant-based saturated fats unlike "mayo"

[NuclearDem]

47. You go third-condiment, you're dead to me.

[kentauros]

49. Okay, fourth condiment then:

Hummus spread on bread, or pita, and then some falafel on that

Oh, and fifth condiment on all of that: tahini sauce!

[xfundy]

93. Even better - an overripe banana spread on hot toast

with jelly on top of that. Fabooooo.

Or, in a frying pan with butter and a little cinnamon. Wowsers!

[kentauros]

97. I recently discovered the deliciousness of

Grilled Cheese Hummus Melt sandwich

[pinboy3niner]

46. To my chagrin, I learned that the best mayonnaise does not, in fact, come from the Mayo Clinic

I'll never try to order from there again!

[greatauntoftriplets]

143. What about County Mayo?

[pinboy3niner]

167. I'm Irish, so when I use mayo I always put back the Cork

County Cork rules!

[greatauntoftriplets]

178. Wexford!

[pinboy3niner]

183. We may be related

All I know is County Cork, where my grandmother and my aunt were from. But they must have lived on the coast, because their father was First Mate on a steamer that plied the British Isles. They migrated here through Canada in 1900.

[greatauntoftriplets]

184. Cousin!

Cork has the second greatest concentration of people with my family name -- just after Wexford. My Irish great grandparents emigrated as teenagers with their families in 1853 and came to what then was rural northeast Illinois. My great grandfather took the long way around, sailing around the Horn to California where he spent time with a cousin in the California gold fields. My ancestor eventually came to Illinois, traveling overland. The cousin had hit it rich, though. He returned to Ireland and bought three farms.

[pinboy3niner]

186. Hi, cousin!

I don't know where my other Irish grandparents and great grandparents were from. But they ended up in Chicago, where from my grandparents' back porch in the Bridgeport Irish neighbothood I could see the back of Mayor Daley's house when I was a kid there.

[greatauntoftriplets]

188. I grew up on the Far North Side.

[pinboy3niner]

189. I was born on the South side

Little Company of Mary Hospital, when my folks lived at 76th and State. Then we moved to the suburbs, in Hometown, and eventually to California.

[greatauntoftriplets]

190. I was born at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston.

My mother (who grew up in Rogers Park) refused to live in Elgin. I'm now in the near west suburbs.

[pinboy3niner]

191. I still remember the smell of the stockyards from Bridgeport, lol

But it was cool seeing the lights flash at Commiskey when the Sox scored from my grandparents' front stoop.

[greatauntoftriplets]

192. I remember visiting the Stockyards.

For me, the best thing was living four blocks from the lake. Spent a lot of time down there.

[pinboy3niner]

193. I remember going to a lake in Wisconsin

Picking blueberries there and filling our little pails.

And when we returned home and my Irish grandmother from County Cork took me for a walk around the block, she had to sternly remind me that peeing on the trees at the lake was one thing, but I had to stop peeing on the trees in the neighborhood.

[greatauntoftriplets]

194. LOL. Part of learning what's appropriate and what is not.

Sometimes a hard lesson.

We used to go to Crystal Lake in McHenry County. Back then, it was a sleepy town. Today it's a suburb with lots of housing and strip malls. The lake is pretty much the same, except some of the great old houses are being replaced with hulking McMansions.

[Phentex]

53. DRAFT AIOLI NOW!!

Elizabeth Aioli: the whisk of Wall Street

[msanthrope]

176. Elitist! You probably put it on arugula. nt

[Phentex]

187. Imported organic!

Also made with eggs from free range chickens.

[Bonobo]

54. Japanese mayonnaise.

Have you ever tried it?

You won't go back.

[eShirl]

125. What's in it?

[betsuni]

168. I hated store-bought mayonnaise until I tasted Kewpie mayo.

American mayo tastes too eggy to me. Kewpie is tangy but mild (I guess because rice vinegar isn't as strong as other vinegars) and the texture is silkier and smoother. I prefer the low calorie version because there's even less of an egg flavor. Kewpie mixed with wasabi is addictive.

[Ruby the Liberal]

55. I hated "mayo" until I was in my 30s

because I grew up eating things with Miracle Whip. Once I discovered the difference, I was hooked. Tuna salad is now a staple and I mix mayo with dijon for dipping.

[pinboy3niner]

57. A protected, safe group with a stock ban message...

[YOHABLO]

58. Blue Plate vs Hellmann's vs homemade. Discuss amongst yourselves.

[stage left]

89. I prefer Duke's

on my mayonnaise sandwiches. That's right, nothing else. Just bread and mayonnaise.

[House of Roberts]

60. Oh no

not another Richard Gere fan club!

[Buns_of_Fire]

159. I've tried all day to work "bodacious" into a reply to that. Obviously, I failed. nt

[Turbineguy]

61. Not a bad idea.

I like mayo with my French Fries.

(the allegorical significance of that escapes me at the moment)

[mucifer]

62. "Just Mayo" the vegan stuff that's the best.

[eShirl]

127. I've yet to try a good, eggless "mayonaise,"

but I've yet to try that brand.

(The original plain Vegenaise tastes like chalk gelatin, and it gets watery and disappears when you make cabbage/apple/raisin coleslaw with it.)

[Poiuyt]

63. Am I the only one who likes Miracle Whip?

I feel so alone.

[arcane1]

65. I can eat Miracle Whip with no problem. But I looooove mayo!

[customerserviceguy]

103. No, my mother does

But I'm adopted, so I don't feel any shame about her preference.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

181. The Mayo Purists can't handle the piquant glory of Miracle Whip.

You're not alone.

[BainsBane]

64. You're a sell out to the condiment industry

a stooge of Heinz and Hellman's.

[pinboy3niner]

68. That's spreading it on a little thick, don't you think?

[Warren DeMontague]

106. You relish this kind of thing

[pinboy3niner]

110. You might say I'm a glutton for punishment

[freshwest]

78. Now that Kroger makes those, he's a Koch lackey, too. n/t

[BainsBane]

102. Now the pieces are starting to come together

[freshwest]

112. Muahaha!

[jobycom]

71. I don't taste mayo. To me they are all just condiments.

Mustard, mayo, ketchup, Tobasco... Only a condimentist can taste the difference.

[NuclearDem]

72. Wow, you really think we're living in a post-condiment country.

[betsuni]

75. I agree. All condiments are the same.

I'm not going to eat a sandwich in the upcoming lunch. That'll show Big Condiment!

[Action_Patrol]

74. Gross

Eggs and oil are not a condiment. They are ingredients to cake.
Up with cake, down with mayo

[awoke_in_2003]

158. Spread cake on your BLT and then tell us

how you feel.





Wait, cake and BLT- hmmmm

[Action_Patrol]

166. Hahaha

I would never spread egg paste on bacon.

Cake on the other hand...

[Kalidurga]

76. Great idea Cinco de Mayo is coming up

and I think I can round up 5 different kinds of mayonnaise.

[pinboy3niner]

83. And notice that there's no Cinco de Miracle Whip

I rest my case.

[customerserviceguy]

105. Oh, I'm sooo going to use that! n/t

[betsuni]

85. So is Syttende Mayo!

Oh dear, that's 17 kinds of mayonnaise.

[Buns_of_Fire]

126. Indeed. The May 5 holiday that commemorates the 500 cases

of Hellman's, ordered by wealthy Mexican landowners, that went down with the Titanic.

Sinko de Mayo.

[Kalidurga]

130. It was a sad day

They had to kraft another kind of mayonnaise for their sandwiches.

[FailureToCommunicate]

79. "I LIKE mayonaise..."

[JDPriestly]

81. K&R. A safe haven.

[justhanginon]

82. I believe in making safe sandwiches

so I always use a condiment.

[NightWatcher]

86. I like to get stoned and smear mayo all over myself.

Should this be posted in the Mayo group or the upcoming Cannabis group?

[zeemike]

87. Oh shit, I like Miracle Whip

Got a jar of it in my fridge right now and some mustard too...I hope the Mayonnaise police don't catch me.

[jtuck004]

95. When they try to separate, and they will, you will need to stir things up. n/t

[Warren DeMontague]

104. DAMMIT

You stole my joke, Scottish fiend!

[pinboy3niner]

113. BRAVEHEART!!!!!

"But you'll never take my mayo!"

[lastlib]

107. Hell,man! NO!

[BlueJazz]

109. French Fries with mayonnaise is pure heaven. Yeah I know it's a Australian thing but try it and...

...you'll quit sayin' Kangaroo and call them what we Aussies call them: Roos
Males>Bucks, jacks, old man
Females> Jills, flyers or does.

[Aerows]

119. Backup and hand me the malt vinegar :)

Only way to do fish and chips!

[yellowcanine]

150. Mix in some fresh horse radish and I am down with that.

[applegrove]

111. Mary's artisanal mayo?

[Jamaal510]

116. Fuck mayo & mustard, it's KC Masterpiece all da way!!!

[Aerows]

118. I'm out

I'll say nice things about mustard. And not the grey poupon type either.

I want mine yellow so I can slather it on a hot dog so that it holds the onions down. Never had sauerkraut, but the next time I eat a hot dog, it will be sitting side by side with my friend mustard.

I'm not sure why I trolled this thread - I really don't like mayonnaise except on a chicken sandwich with a bunch of pickles.

OMG - I trolled on DU

:hangs head in shame:

[DFW]

120. Hillary Gump agrees with you

from about 3:00 to 3:15

[thesquanderer]

121. I'm just tired of all the smear campaigns. (n/t)

[boston bean]

122. Bring out the Hellmans and bring out the best!

[pintobean]

128. It's Oveur

[Renew Deal]

129. In ok with that as long as you're not a host

We all know you are a closet Miracle Whip lover.

[kwassa]

131. You Mayo people need a clinic, not a group!

Get cured.

Like a smoked ham.

[Capt. Obvious]

132. I know who should be the host

[Tommy_Carcetti]

174. Chuggo's Law.

You win the thread.

[SidDithers]

133. Fluff, for the win...

All other food spreads are mere pretenders.

Sid

[ScreamingMeemie]

134. Are you trying to kill people on warfarin??

Alerting...

[Renew Deal]

136. Would discussion about Just Mayo be permitted?

Since it may not be "mayo" in the classic definition?

[NuclearDem]

144. Of course it is.

We don't tolerate veganaise-exclusionary radical mayonists in the group.

[Rex]

137. MIRCALE WHIP FOREVER, MAYONNAISE TASTES LIKE WARM CAT VOMIT!

[uppityperson]

145. I am curious how someone would know that

[NuclearDem]

146. Sometimes the fridge is empty and you just can't be bothered to go to the store.

[yellowcanine]

147. What about Grandma's Lime Cabbage Jell-O with olives and Miracle Whip?

MMM mmmm. It doesn't get any better than that.

[msanthrope]

177. That is a warcrime. nt

[bluedigger]

148. Who leaves a thread like this out all day without expecting it to go bad?

[yellowcanine]

149. Miracle Whip is a "mayonaise product" brought to you by Kraft Foods, the "cheese product" people.

What's not to like about that?

[matt819]

151. Now that's a little extreme

I think an umbrella condiments group would be fine.

I mean, after all, in the Reading group, they have fiction and non-fiction. Breaking it down further seems a bit redundant, maybe even selfish. Even Offbeat has only three.

So, do I hear it for Condiments?

[liberal N proud]

152. Then we need one for people who don't like mayonnaise.

[Kablooie]

153. Damn! This is one of the most popular topics ever!

[LiberalEsto]

154. I want a Hellman's Lite group

So there

[hifiguy]

157. YOU will get this joke

"Hey good lookin' want some mayonnaise?"

[NuclearDem]

160. ...

[hifiguy]

161. Definitely 20% cooler.

Weird Al was SO good in that episode.

[zappaman]

163. No one has mentioned baconnaise?

Would this be welcome in your new group?

[pinboy3niner]

169. What kind of idiot would adulterate bacon?

Sounds like the good being the enemy of the perfect.

[Cha]

170. Then we'd have to have an Anti-Mayonnaisse Group.

[B Calm]

171. No carbs in mayonnaise!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

172. Chuggo approves this message.

[CentralMass]

182. I'm ready for mayonnaise.

[pintobean]

185. Can Mayonnaise Treat Head Lice? Yes

http://www.household-management-101.com/can-mayonnaise-treat-head-lice-yes-instructions-for-proper-use.html

I haven't heard of any pest extermination uses for Miracle Whip, though.

Just sayin'