Fox: New Evidence Hillary Killed Lincoln By Andy Borowitz

[one_voice]

May 11, 2013

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what may be the most serious allegation ever made against the former Secretary of State, Fox News Channel reported today that Hillary Clinton was involved in the conspiracy to murder President Abraham Lincoln.

The latest charge against Mrs. Clinton was reported by Fox host Sean Hannity, who said that the evidence of her role in the Lincoln assassination came mainly in the form of e-mails.

According to Mr. Hannity, “If it’s true that Hillary Clinton killed Lincoln, this could have a major impact on her chances in 2016.”

The accusation against Mrs. Clinton drew a strong response from Sen. Lindsey Graham (R.—S. Carolina): “There’s been a concerted effort by Hillary Clinton to cover up her role in President Lincoln’s murder. She has said nothing about it. This is bigger than Watergate, the Cuban missile crisis, and the Second World War put together.”

Responding to the allegation, Mrs. Clinton issued a terse statement indicating that she could not have participated in Lincoln’s assassination because she was born in 1947.

*snip*

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/fox-new-evidence-hillary-killed-lincoln

[Journeyman]

1. Has to be true. You never heard her denying it until we started accusing her, did you? . . .

And I know for a fact she always leaves the pennies from her change in those little plates at the checkout counter. You gotta really hate Lincoln not to want a pocket full of miniature portraits weighing you down.

[Gothmog]

2. I love good satire

[gollygee]

3. How do we know she was really born in 1947?

Has she released her long form birth certificate?

[BlueJazz]

4. I have very strong evidence that Hillary Clinton is also a Vampire, which WOULD explain the time...

...difference...in fact Julius Caesar died a mere 27 years after her "Affliction" et tu Hillary????????????

[doxyluv13]

5. CNN says it was Putin.

nm

[Sweet Freedom]

6. Why don't they just ask Bill O'Rielly?

Certainly, he was there when it happened.

[joeybee12]

7. Typical Hillary...playing the birth card....

There's no end to her evil!