If you are white, did your parents give you "the talk" about how to behave around police?

[gollygee]

To clarify, I'm talking about a discussion where you were told that being pulled over by the police put you in serious danger. That the police were a source of real danger, and that you could get killed if you got pulled over for any reason. Not just that you should be polite to everyone, particularly people in positions of authority.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, look at the video in this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026486962

I posted the poll because I'm wondering if the answer might generally be different depending upon how old you are.

39 votes, 2 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Yes and I'm 25 or younger
	0 (0%)
	No and I'm 25 or younger
	1 (3%)
	Yes and I'm 26-35
	1 (3%)
	No and I'm 26-35
	1 (3%)
	Yes and I'm 36-45
	3 (8%)
	No and I'm 36-45
	5 (13%)
	Yes and I'm 46 or older
	16 (41%)
	No and I'm 46 or older
	10 (26%)
	Other (please explain in thread)
	2 (5%)
	2 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[libdem4life]

1. No. There was no reason to talk...all was just assumed...we'd be good and

if not, there would be consequences. I feared the ones at home the most. But being rural, white...now understand the need for today's "the talk". We were told to be helpful and respectful of all people. Born in 1948.

[gollygee]

2. I'm talking abou the specific talk the other thread is about

Being told specifically that you are in serious danger if you're pulled over by the police. I was never told that being pulled over was a danger - that I could get shot.

[libdem4life]

4. No, they assumed if I got pulled over, the consequences would be fair.

We never talked about it...except for not speeding. Non issue way back when...even in the rural South where I lived until age 16.

[gollygee]

5. Yeah, that seemed to be the assumption that my parents always had

that if you got pulled over you most likely deserved it, and that the consequences would be fair, and that the police were safe people.

[libdem4life]

8. We lived in a really, really small town. I kind of knew there were some

black folk somewhere around, but never saw one and don't remember one in school. I'm sure it's different there now.

[yeoman6987]

11. We were told to be respectful to anyone older then we were

We were and still am today. I have been stopped by police at least 10 times in my driving career over 20 years and I am always respectful because I don't want a ticket but even moreso I don't want my insurance rates to go up. I have gotten 4 tickets in my life. Last one was in 2000 for speeding and I went to court, Pled guilty and got it suspended for 3 years...yeah!

[boston bean]

3. I did have a talk with my son

about cops. In small town America (mostly white communities), they wield their ugly brute power on young males.

I did have a talk with my son about it.

But I don't think I ever feared he would be killed.. Only, roughed up, targeted, harassed....

[treestar]

18. I'm reading a biography of a rock star

who grew up in a midwestern white town. He became known to the cops and they harassed him, stopped him for nothing, beat him. He had done things to get known to them, but after that, they harassed him. White guy, too. But at least he had to get known for being a troublemaker, whereas being black can get you assumed to be one.

[boston bean]

19. Luckily my son thus far has remained unscathed...

But all you got to do is read the police reports and listen to other parents to know it happens.

[treestar]

21. Long haired white teen boys

would often experience it in the 70s and maybe still now. My cousin was known in his small town to the police - though in his case, he earned it. Don't think they harmed him in any way I know of, but things might have happened. He didn't complain about them in his later, better years.

[boston bean]

22. Speeding is something that gets young males on their radar..

And believe me it can quickly become harassment even after one encounter...

Sometimes just being a young male in what appears to be a nice car, can get them pulled over...

It happens...

If they have the power to wield, they will wield it... It's similar, but not the same as what we see with black men being shot dead after minor offenses with no weapons in interactions with police.

[Lilyhoney]

6. I was schooled on Officer Friendly.

The police were people we were told would help us.

[RockaFowler]

9. Me too

I remember when the police would come to school and tell us what their jobs were and how they protect people. Hey in 1st grade it can help kids so they are not afraid of the police.

[Nye Bevan]

38. My kids too, but that's all the more reason to have the talk.

They need to realize that not every cop is Officer Friendly.

[AngryAmish]

7. My folks said they would beat the shit outta you and I would deserve it

I did. But they lost the paperwork before court. Fair trade in my book.

[KitSileya]

27. I am assuming that you are white, and wondered if you think that would have happened if black?

If you had been black, do you think they would have a.) roughed you up, or b.) roughed you up, and shot you?


Do you believe they deliberately lost your paperwork so that you wouldn't end up in court, or do you think it was a mistake? Do you think they would have lost your paperwork before court if you were black?

[KitSileya]

70. You know you are doing something right when you keep getting replies from name removed.

At least you know you're pissing off the republiCONs.

[Bigmack]

10. I'm white...71 years old...

... and I grew up in Detroit.

You bet your ass my parents gave me the "talk" about how to deal with cops.

In those days, people used to say "In Detroit, it only takes one person to play cops and robbers."

[KittyWampus]

12. Voted "yes over 46" BUT- it was never a presumption I might get shot

with as little before-thought as happens to men of color.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

13. We got "a" talk when we started driving

I chose none of the above, but we did get "a" talk when we started driving. Answer respectfully, don't argue with the cops. NEVER stop at night on a dark road - drive to a well-lit populated space. It only takes one bad cop to abuse his power and rape you. (I'm a woman.) And worse, I had schoolmates a couple of years ahead of me who were pulled over by "fake" cops. The girl was raped, and both were murdered. So, yeah, I got "a" talk, but not "the talk."

[gollygee]

14. That sounds a lot like "the talk" to me

It's a talk where you learned that police were dangerous and that it wasn't safe to be pulled over by them.

[TexasMommaWithAHat]

15. My dad worked for the town and knew a lot of cops

So, he did trust most of them, but because he knew them, he also knew a couple probably shouldn't be trusted. Bad apples and all that...

But, again, we were taught to be respectful of our elders, so, yeah, if my mom or dad had found out that I was disrespectful to a cop, he wouldn't have been real proud, if you know what I mean. I was pulled over a few months ago and got a ticket, and I would say that we were mutually respectful of one another.

[aikoaiko]

16. For me the talk Was About my doing something that the cops would misconstrue

Not that they were dangerous per se, but it was implicit that I could get hurt or arrested.

The idea was things could go very badly if I didn't follow instruction and behave well

[treestar]

17. From a different vantage point

But Dad did insist (and real cops I asked disagree with him) that I should allow no cop to stop me at night. I should drive to the police station. He was convinced a real cop would follow me there respectfully.

There were some cases of cops murdering and kidnapping women, which brought about this sentiment. The Hillside murderers pretended to be cops, and that's how they stopped some of their victims.

It's advice to white people too to keep our hands on the wheel, etc. I had to go to traffic school for a ticket once, and the cop there said that remember, they don't know who you are - you could be Bonnie or Clyde. They just don't know. There are cases where cops have been shot by somebody they stopped for a traffic violation. That cop in fact asked us what does a violent criminal look like? He said there is no way to tell - they could look like any one of us. So I generally think of the cop as being scared of me, lol.

And they get politer the older I get. I don't know if that's because older women are thought unlikely to be violent or if they are better trained - so as to avoid escalation where it doesn't have to happen.

[Mariana]

41. They get politer the older you get

partly because you're more likely to raise hell over any bad behavior on their part - and because you're more likely to be believed.

[treestar]

46. Yes, being a young black male

is worst, followed by being a young, hispanic male or a young white male. Being a young man seems a hazardous proposition and a young woman for different reasons.

[Marr]

20. I think so. I was told not to argue with them, to just say 'yes, sir/no, sir', and to never, ever

let them inside the house without a search warrant, no matter how friendly they seemed at the door.

[tblue37]

23. I did give my white son that talk, because although he is white, he *looked* like a

member of a marginalized subgroup whom the cops would feel safe in assaulting or killing. Though he is the son of professors, during some of his teen years he wore a 7" mohawk and two 1.5" trihawks, along with the standard punk rock uniform. I warned him that cops would assume from the way he looked that they could brutalize him without consequence, because they were not likely to comprehend that a teen with comfortably middleclass parents would be dressed counterculturally.

Cops assault those they think will have no recourse--i.e., those who look as though they belong to oppressed and marginalized groups. They lack the imagination to consider that the punk looking kid might have parents who would have the ability to come after the cops if their son is abused by them.

Black boys and men get it worse, but anyone who looks as though he might belong to a group cops feel safe attacking is at risk.

[hootinholler]

24. No. But to be fair...

They didn't give me the talk about sex either.

[OKNancy]

25. LOL - yes, my Dad said "keep your mouth shut and never say anything except

I want my lawyer".... Dad was a criminal defense attorney/prosecutor/ then judge.

( I never had to use the advise fortunately)

[City Lights]

26. My parents didn't give me "the talk," but my husband and I

have given "the talk" to our kids (23, 21).

[Mike Nelson]

28. YES!

...and, and as a "long hair" I was stopped a lot... the police said, a couple of times, the reason was that I looked like I had put something in the glove compartment or under the seat. I DID NOT, but didn't argue with them either!

[Cal Carpenter]

29. No, I was taught that cops are my friends, there to help me

Even as I got older my folks never implied otherwise.

In fact, when I was around 30 my dad was my biggest supporter when I participated in civil disobedience that we knew would result in arrest (anti-war).

How's that for white privilege? Being able to get arrested ON PURPOSE because the system doesn't have it out for me, because I never had a record before (despite breaking the law on a regular basis w/ weed, speeding, etc including getting pulled over once with enough pot/acid to put me in jail for decades due to mandatory minimums).


eta: I almost wrote that "I had to learn it the hard way" regarding the truth about the cops, but that's bullshit too, because as a white middle class person it was never too hard. Witnessed some ugly stuff in small town PA and a couple other places while traveling in a van full of hippies, but even that is nothing compared to the brutality and injustice against POC.

[Bluenorthwest]

30. You bet. Both parents were extremly skeptical of the police and made sure I knew how to deal with

them, as potentially corrupt, criminal, or malicious. Both parents came from poor rural backgrounds with reason aplenty to distrust the police.
Then of course I turned out to be gay, and they were not idiots in that regard either.

I will add that younger generations of my family get 'the talk' including the part where one of our family got shot to death by the police.

[dembotoz]

31. as a long hair late 60s early 70s hippie i was at a bit of risk-not like being black but some risk

not an official sitdown but snippets here and there

my dad did not do well with conversation he would respond is asked a question
but really did not have a clue about small talk

a curse i inherited and to some extent passed on to my kids although i think it is lesser for them

i do not remember EVER having a long conversation about much of anything with him.
but warnings were passed-perhaps more thru my mom

[fizzgig]

32. i got a version of the talk, i suppose, but i don't think it was from my folks

i am pretty sure it was from the cop at my high school. pull into a well-lit parking lot, keep your hands on the wheel, don't make sudden movements. but, like at the end of the video, when i was a little kid, my parents told me to find an officer if we were in trouble.

but i am a white woman driving a volvo wagon in a white town. the last time i was pulled over was for a burnt out tail light ten years ago and the officer saw the indicator light was on on the dash and let me go with a warning. but i know the cops in my town like to get handsy with people.

[Sissyk]

33. Yes and over 46.

"The talk" was given to my brother but the girls had to be a part of the conversation. It was more about being respectful than anything. My parents taught us to always obey the police officers directions and to speak to them with respect if we were ever pulled over. Don't act out, run, and always use "Yes, Ma'am/Sir".

I gave both my sons "The Talk" - one white son, one black son. BOTH received the same talk from us. My black son, however; did receive additional talkes from his Uncle. He showed him a video that I'm sure some here would call racist, because that's how some opinions here roll.

One thing I'm pretty sure of though, my sons will not be running from the cops. At least, if the last time they were pulled over counts as anything.

[HereSince1628]

57. Yes sir, No sir, keep hands where they can see them &

keep a $20 in your wallet so you can't be jailed as a vagrant.

Before enlisting in WWII, my old man apparently took a lot of free-rides on the Milwaukee Road.

[Nay]

34. Yes, with our son, when he was in his teens. We are in our 60s and white. nt

[Comrade Grumpy]

35. My father grew up poor and white in East Texas. He knew about cops.

He passed it on.

[JTFrog]

36. Yes.

But that's just because my dad was always in trouble with the law and he felt my behavior around cops might tip them off. He made me plenty scared of the police. Made sure I knew about rights and search warrants, etc.

[Nye Bevan]

37. Yep. Every parent needs to explain to their kids how to safely interact with cops.

And I have had the same talk with my kids.

[REP]

39. Beginning in grade school, I was taught Officer Friendly is not my friend

As I got older, I was taught to say two things if I was ever taken into custody: Lawyer. Now.

I was taught to avoid the police at all costs; that justice was something you bought and that we simply could not afford.

I am a white woman born in 1964.

[LittleBlue]

40. Yes. My father was an attorney

He told me how to act around police to ensure that I didn't do anything crazy

My natural instinct around police is to not act threatening, speak politely, and never pull anything out of my pockets unless the officer asks. And rule #1 is to never run. As my dad always said, you can't outrun a policeman's radio.

[bigwillq]

42. Yes. 36-45 (nt)

[caraher]

43. No; and what's more...

There was one time when I was a teen my sister, cousin and I, outside our house one night, did something dumb that drew the attention of a police officer. He stopped his car, lights flashing, and got out. We led him into our house and gave us a lecture in front of our dad then left. After he left, my dad chewed us out - for NOT running away from the cop. The message was more or less that as a teen, when a cop busts you doing something dumb, you're supposed to try not to get caught.

Over 50, white, and we lived in a white suburb. White privilege, much?

[Aerows]

44. I've gotten out of trouble

for things I *should* have been arrested for. I have no doubt that if I had darker colored skin, I'd probably be under the jail.

Me and a fast car are horrible things to be paired up!

[seabeyond]

45. not only my parent, i gave a more strident instruction for my boys since one was about 4 so the

other was about 6. and how much worse the police have become. that was 15 yrs ago. and i have had the discussions since as one is now 20 and the other working on 18.

you betcha.

and if black? so much worse. we discuss that also.

but ya, with all my boys privilege in white and upper middle class, ect..... ya. i talk to them how to succumb to the police so as not to be beaten or worse.

i am not nearly respectful in tone as boys, when police give me stupid, and i actually admonish myself that i can be bringing on a whoppin' or unwarranted arrest cause i did not stroke his ego.

[Savannahmann]

47. Things my Dad told me.

1) Don't answer any damned questions. The cops have a job of proving any case against you, you don't have to prove it for them. Don't tell them anything except your name, address, and social security number. You have to give them that, by law. But after that announce you would like to speak to an attorney for anything more serious than a traffic stop. If you get stopped by the cops for that, assume that they are up to no good. Make your answers no sir, yes sir, and that's it. Never admit to doing anything. If you just drove up a palm tree and have a twenty foot palm sticking out of your ass, act like this is the most normal thing in the world.

2) Keep your hands visible at all times. When pulled over by a cop, stop as soon as safely possible, and take the keys out of the ignition, roll down the window, and place both hands with the palms open and fingers spread on the wheel/dashboard. Keep them there. If you have to move, tell the cop what you are going to do. For example. "Sir, my license is in my wallet. I'm going to reach for it now, it's brown colored, and I'll get it with two fingers.

3) Never believe that the cops are on your side. If you just got hit in the head with a brick, chances are they are wondering what you did to deserve it. Let a lawyer talk to the cops, that is what they get paid to do.

[bigwillq]

54. Pretty much what my parents told me (nt)

[hunter]

48. We learned from the bad behavior of my mom and my grandma.

There's no doubt in my mind the cops would have shot and killed my grandma if she wasn't white.

She never had any brakes on her tongue and could size people up and say the nastiest meanest most cutting thing possible to them, didn't matter who they were. After she retired she lost her civility entirely, became a danger to herself and others, and the police and paramedics had to drag her out of her house. But it took many hours, she was cussing, screaming, throwing things, hitting, kicking, and in the end, strapped to a gurney, biting...

My mom thought she'd removed all of grandma's guns, and it was terrifying to everyone when my mom and my sister found more guns while cleaning her house. My grandma simply hadn't remembered where she kept them. Or maybe, if I want to feel generous, she simply didn't want to go down in a firefight.

My mom's not much better. As a kid I'd cringe and try to be invisible whenever she had a conflict with "authority."

School administrators were afraid to call her, no matter what sort of trouble I was in. My mom would be either indifferent, like the times I ran away from school and she'd say things like "Oh, I'm sure he'll be home for dinner," or else she'd storm into the office like a Mama Grizzly and someone would bleed. Trouble is, it was sort of random which mom they got. I'm pretty sure they'd call it "bipolar" now.

When I was a kid we were living in Franco's Spain. One day a plain clothes official came by to chat with my parents, to check up on the Americans, routine visit, and my mom didn't like the way the conversation was going and started insinuating that the guy was a little dick on a power trip. The fellow remained polite, but the rest of the day my dad was increasingly fidgeting and nervous. He packed all our stuff in the car, woke me my mom and my siblings up, and we drove to France on a two lane twisty road in the middle of the night. The Spanish border officials didn't bother to wake up, if they were actually on duty at all, lights on, no one home. The French border guard was disappointed my dad didn't have any cigarettes and waved us through.

As a young man university and local police knew me well and considered me mostly harmless. An interesting diversion from normal graveyard shift duties. I was always incredibly polite. They'd help me find my clothes on the beach among the piles of kelp. They'd drive me to my apartment and bang on the door until my housemates answered.

I reeked of white male privilege.

The worst I experienced was in Santa Monica. I'd arrived much sooner than expected, from out of state, and didn't want to wake up a new girlfriend too early. So I decided to park on the street and take a nap in my car. The cops were rough and I ended up on the pavement. When they realized I wasn't the "ordinary" homeless guy I looked like, they picked me up, brushed me off, and went away.

[XemaSab]

49. Be cool, don't make any sudden motions, keep your hands where the cop can see them

n/t

[Skittles]

87. yup, that is what I was told

[leeroysphitz]

50. When I was a kid I watched my father get into (& win) a physical altercation w/a cop

Specifically a Michigan State Trooper that had pulled us over for speeding (I think).
I was only 10 but I remember it pretty clearly. The trooper was surly and disrespectful to my dad, which my mother
later confirmed to other troopers afterwards. My dad told the trooper to show some respect (or words to that effect)
and that was it! The trooper seemed to lose his mind and started shouting. When dad got out of the car to calm him down
the guy got even more frantic and threatening. He at one point tried to put hands on my dad. That's when dad had
enough. He beat that cop with multiple solid blows to the head and face a brutal neck stomp after the
guy had finally collapsed.

It wasn't until years later that I learned that some people have no choice but to put up with impertinent and rude police
and that the problem is endemic in some communities.

.

[Yo_Mama]

51. Yes, and I pass it on to the next generation. n/t

[fizzgig]

52. i tell the kids at work to verbally invoke their right to remain silent

and immediately ask for an attorney. i supervise a lot of high school students and young adults and i try to pass my knowledge on to them. i also pester them a lot about voting come election time.

[FLPanhandle]

53. Yes and I've had the talk with my daughters too.

Not only how to behave but to have thier paperwork organized and easily accessable.

Never be rude, run from the police, fight, nor argue. It's a no win situation.

[Stellar]

55. I've never read and article or heard about a white male

saying that they got 'the talk'.,,,never.

[csziggy]

56. I voted yes because they did for a very specific reason

Just before I went off to college with a car in the early 1970s, a deputy sheriff in Polk County, Florida where my parents lived was arrested and charged with multiple rapes. He'd pull over women driving alone and threaten to charge them with prostitution if they refused to have sex with him. Many of his victims gave in without resisting, afraid of the consequences. He finally tried this with the wrong woman - an upper middle class woman whose husband had a lot of political influence. She refused and when he violently raped her, she had no hesitation about reporting it and pressuring the police to press charges.

My father told me that if I were ever pulled over by a single officer anywhere but in a populated area to not get out of the car, to keep my doors locked and to only open a window enough to pass him my driver's license and registration. At that point, in that area a policeman was a very real danger to women driving alone in isolated areas.

Under any other circumstances, where I grew up it was expected that a white woman was in no danger from police. As a college students in a Southern town during those times we knew that we were automatically assumed by law enforcement to be drug users and/or political agitators - and quite a few of us were one or the other or both. So we avoided the police as much as possible and tried to avoid trouble. But that was not something my parents knew about or warned me about.

[Lancero]

58. My father had a number of incidents with police that gave him a immense dislike of them...

So I ended up getting one about the police when I first started learning to drive, and again when after getting my licence.

Admittedly, it lacked the parts about how they will kill you - though it did touch upon this, slightly, since it was more about how police will do whatever they want and nine times out of ten get away with it - but then again this was in a diffrient time, back when police hadn't fallen to todays significantly lower standards.

At the time I thought it was a waste of time, but then when talking about it to a friend of mine he told me that he got a similar talk from his father who was a ex-cop. It stood out to me then, considering that his father just up and quit his job at the department one day - I guess he saw then what neither of us could see back then, being naive kids.

[bluesbassman]

59. No, pretty much figured it out on my own...

after getting thrown into the open trunk of my car during a traffic stop and search.

I'm over 50 and white.

[RedCappedBandit]

60. My parents taught me how to interact with authority figures

but not in the same way. There wasn't a fear of the police. Just the expectation to be courteous around people in power.

I voted no, as I feel it's not quite the same talk.

[bemildred]

61. I was taught to trust authorities, including police.

Of course, by the time I was ten I knew that was wrong, they are not to be trusted, they lie and manipulate.

But on the other hand, I never was afraid to deal with them, once I knew how to act around cops, and had the important-white-man status markers.

I can only imagine what it is like to be female or non-white by comparison with how I was treated as a kid, which boils down to "you shutup and stay in your place or we'll make you".

[McCamy Taylor]

62. I'm white and I was taught never to trust the cops and never narc. I guess it was a 60s thing.

[Adrahil]

63. Yes. My Dad did.

He was a sailor and said he had had run-ins where the cops had it in for him and his resistance got him in some hot water. I'll always remember his last sentence in that conversation: It ain't right, and it's ain't fair, but it's even worse for black folks, and the world is the world.

He was kind of a fatalist and fairly conservative, though not actively racist (though pretty passively racist a lot of the time).

[Rex]

64. What talk? Never even heard of such a thing, until I was older.

Cops? Bad? Never had to worry about that one.

[LeftInTX]

67. Never

Kinda got the opposite cuz I had been caught shoplifting at age 12, then at 13 etc etc. I got in big trouble at home for my "crimes" not so much with the legal system. I was naturally respectful of cops and knew better than to make a bad thing worse. When I did finally have legal issues, it wasn't the cops it was with the prosecutor/judge who gave me grief.

White female, 58 years old.

[Go Vols]

69. No

[JoePhilly]

71. Yes, but it was brief.

Say "yes officer" or "no officer" or "yes sir" or "no sir" ... and pretty much nothing else.

[Quackers]

72. Yes

When I recieved my license, I was told if I get pulled over to turn on the interior light, roll my window all the way down, and place both hands on the steering wheel.

[Ready4Change]

73. Other: I was taught to be respectful. Period.

Cop or not, I was to be respectful. It was always the right way to start, and took on added importance if, for whatever reason, the person in question might be armed or stressed. (As is pretty much the status quo for a police officers duty.)

[gollygee]

74. For what the poll is looking for

which is whether you were taught that police were serious threats and that you could easily get shot, that is a "no." I specifically said, "Not if you were just taught to be respectful." - Edited: I said "if you were taught to be polite to everyone" though I meant polite/respectful. Still, for what I was looking for, this would be a no.

[Ready4Change]

84. My 'other' response is due to the second part of my post.

Respect is especially important if, for whatever reason, the other person is armed or under stress.

Why is that important? Because, if a person is under stress, treating them with disrespect increases the odds of them reacting with violence. And if that person is also armed, the scale of that violence increases.

The underwritten message is that yes, cops might kill me if I diss them. They have stressful jobs, and are typically armed.

So I responded 'other' because my 'talk' wasn't limited JUST to cops.

[LiberalElite]

75. I ddin't get "the talk" but

my mother did say a P.O. tried to molest her when she was a child.

[liberal N proud]

76. My dad taught my what to do when pulled over.

Ignition off, window down, hands on the wheel.

[alc]

77. ANY authority, not just police

The things I hear parents saying about police now is what I heard about any adult and even some older kids. "Do what they say or you WILL regret it. Even if you are right"

[gollygee]

78. Again, the poll is asking specifically about police

Most other authorities don't carry guns as part of their job and are less likely to shoot you. I specifically say, "not to be polite to people in general, particularly people in authority" or something.

[arcane1]

79. I'm 47 and it never even crossed our minds.

Indeed, the first memory I have of the concept of police brutality is Rodney King.

[Paladin]

80. "If you're in trouble, talk to the police. They're your friends."

That's "The Talk" I started getting from my parents, back in the 1950's. We were white, middle class, law-abiding; my friends all got the same basic talk. How times have changed.

[elleng]

81. They 'gave' me this song:

Remember your name and address...
And telephone number, too,
And then someday if you lose your way,
You'll know just what to do.
Walk up to the nice policeman,
The very first one you meet --
And simply say,
"I've lost my way -
I cannot find my street.
But I know my name and my address,
Telephone number, too."
Then he'll be kind,
And help you find
The dear ones who wait for you."

I grew up in Brooklyn, NY, walked to school > 5th grade, when we moved to suburb and my adopted mother drove me til I became acquainted.

Clearly a very different 'talk' from others. A good friend's family was Puerto Rican.

[mulsh]

82. Yes I grew up in Oakland, CA in the 60's & 70's the cops were equal oportunity assholes for the

most part. They were much harder on the ghetto kids but in general if you were a teenaged boy, especially if your hair was a bit long the cops liked to fuck with you.

We were told any interaction with cops could result in a real shit storm in the best of circumstances. Keep your hands where the cop can see them don't mouth off, Don't try to run, etc. One of our neighbors who was a civil rights and criminal defense attorney gave us cards which spelled out our rights if we got arrested.

Most of the kids I hung out with got to witness someone we knew on the receiving end of that cop's shit storm.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

83. I had to change my vote after I read the text, not just the headline.

And I suspect a lot of the people who voted like I originally did didn't read the clarification, or voted before it was added.

The talk I got was the 'be polite, do whatever they say, don't be a smartass. Don't ever do anything to 'escalate' tension'. The reasons behind being told those things was never explicitly stated, so I don't have any real idea whether it was because they felt police interactions 'put me in serious danger', or simply because they felt that behaving well increased my odds of being let off with a warning as opposed to getting ticketed. (I'm in the 45+ category, and originally voted 'yes' but your clarification made it more clear that you meant something else.)

[Jamastiene]

85. No, except for unmarked cars.

I was told to drive to the police station if an unmarked car turned its lights on behind me, to confirm it really is a cop. I have since learned not to trust cops though. I kind of wish they had warned me.

[HeiressofBickworth]

86. I didn't (I'm white/female/69) but my brother did

Not that he would be shot but that he could be harassed and bullied by the police. Reason? My mother had a beautiful brand new (1964) Cadillac and he, at the age of 16 or so, occasionally drove it. At that time, police liked to screw with what they thought might be "rich kids" and driving a nice new Cadillac was like waving a flag at a bull. And my parents were right. One time, when he was pulled over, the police called Mother asking if she had given her permission for him to drive her car. He had done nothing wrong -- just being a teenaged boy in a new car was enough to warrant a stop.

Of course, being a teenaged boy, he had to toy with the police. He was driving Mother's car, a friend of his was with him, and they both scrunched down in the seat so from the outside it looked like a 10 year-old was driving the car. My brother was over 6 feet at the time. The police didn't pull them over, but someone else called the police. Mother got a visit in person, asking if she knew where her car was and who might be driving it. Yup, he caught shit for that stunt.