Charles Pierce- Happy Aqua Buddha Day!

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Never has the blog's Five Minute Rule been more important to the survival of the Republic. To recap, the rule states that, whenever any member of the extended Paul family speaks in a political context, that person will make sense for exactly five minutes. Then, at exactly the five minute mark, the person will say something that leaves open the possibility that they grew up somewhere in the Dagobah system. Then you spend several minutes doubting your own judgment.

So, at noon on Tuesday, as Aqua Buddha announced that Ted Cruz would not be running unopposed for the Republican presidential nomination, I started listening closely at about the 3:30 mark, just to make sure I wouldn't miss anything. My vigilance in this regard was richly rewarded.

First, there was...

Congress will never balance the budget unless you force them to do so. Congress has an abysmal record with balancing anything. Our only recourse is to force Congress to balance the budget with a constitutional amendment.

The Worst Idea In American Politics! Right off the top! How can he possibly top that? Watch in amazement!

I ran for office because we have too many career politicians. I believe it now more than ever. We limit the President to two terms. It's about time we limit the terms of Congress!

Another stupefyingly bad idea, and not an entirely constitutional one, either. Which makes it strange coming from a guy who also believes...

We need to boldly proclaim our vision for America. We need to go boldly forth under the banner of liberty that clutches the Constitution in one hand and the Bill of Rights in the other.

First of all, banners don't have hands. Second of all, you can carry the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in one hand because they are part of the same document. I mention this because, one day, Aqua Buddha might want to go boldly forth while eating a sandwich.

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http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a34194/the-rand-paul-experience/