CERN's Large Hadron Collider Discovers Devilish New Particle

[MineralMan]

http://www.newsyoushouldntbelieve.com

CERN LHC Finds The Very Devil
by Heddy Lepton

Scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collider discovered something new once again, after firing up the LHC for a new series of high energy collisions. This time, they've found the anti-God particle, it seems. The excitement is supernaturally high this week, as high energy physics enters a new phase in its quest for knowledge about what underlies everything.

At higher energies than ever reached heretofore, this new particle, affectionately called the Satan Particle by those in the know, demonstrates the essential symmetry of all Large Hadron particles. This new anti-God particle is said to come direct from Hades at extraordinarily large energy levels in the LHC. As William Bendix, a chief researcher said, "The Satan Particle is as exciting as Hell to us."

more at link...

[Nye Bevan]

1. I'll only believe it if this particle has a sinister pointed goatee (nt)

[sakabatou]

2. Your links not working

=/

[F4lconF16]

3. +1 nt

[MineralMan]

9. Weird. There must be so many people trying

to read the story, I guess. Just overwhelmed the Tandy 1000 server at newsyoushouldntbelieve.com. Keep trying.

[awake]

4. BS CERN's Large Hadron Collider will not start doing experiments for another month

It was just restarted and no experiments are to happen till next month

[MineralMan]

10. Yah, that's what they're saying in public.

The devil made them do it.

[Takket]

5. .

actual direct image of particle ----->

[longship]

6. Nice try. No collisions until some time in May.

An R&K nonetheless.

[longship]

7. As chief researcher William Bendix said:...

"What a revolting development this is."

Kudos to anybody who gets the cultural reference.

[MineralMan]

8. I thought I was the only fan of

The Life of Riley. Thanks!

[longship]

11. Thank you. Babs thanks you as well. nt

[MineralMan]

15. Ah, Babs...

50s TV was interesting. Between Our Miss Brooks and Life of Riley, who can decide. On the other hand, Sky King's daughter, Penny. Va-va-voom, eh?

[longship]

16. Our Miss Brooks! Richard Crenna as a squeaky voiced teen.

[MineralMan]

18. You realize, of course, that we're revealing our geezerhood, right?

Old Farts Unite!

[longship]

20. Geezerhoodness goodness! ;-) nt

[ChazII]

12. For what its worth

http://www.thespoof.co.uk/spoof-news/uk/108437/cern-announces-discovery-of-satan-particle

[zappaman]

13. My favorite story today....

That awkward moment the BBC calls Large Hadron Collider ‘Hardon Collider’


http://metro.co.uk/2015/04/06/that-awkward-moment-the-bbc-calls-large-hadron-collider-hardon-collider-5136981/

It seems two letters really can make all the difference.

While the Large Hadron Collider is the most complicated machines ever built, responsible for proving the existence of the Higgs boson particle in one of the most significant scientific experiments of recent times, for many of us it’s just one typo away from being a complete joke.

This weekend the particle collider was restarted for the first time in two years after a huge upgrade, but unfortunately BBC News made the unfortunate mistake of switching the ‘r’ and the ‘d’ to form a very different piece of machinery.

While the poor person responsible for the slip of the hand would probably have hoped the mistake would go unnoticed, they weren’t in luck…

[MineralMan]

14. Nice!

"slip of the hand," indeed.

[Buns_of_Fire]

17. The Satan Particle obviously switched the two letters in retaliation.

Still, it's nice to see that the BBC has the same trouble I have with that name.

[MineralMan]

19. Oops! I meant to write the Santa Particle.

Imagine my consternation.

[goldent]

21. Shows how much of a waste of money that thing was.

Glad they didn't tear up half of Texas building it.