General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThere is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.
Who are we?
Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?
I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.
DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.
Hekate
(90,727 posts)I knew I shoulda stayed out of "that" thread.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Love you too~
williesgirl
(4,033 posts)Agnosticsherbet
(11,619 posts)One of the problems with the Internet is that we lose that part of communication.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)However, if you take the time to ponder what you're about to say, truly parsing your words, you can evoke any emotion through text alone.
If we couldn't get those emotions across through text, then we'd never have invented books
Agnosticsherbet
(11,619 posts)I think the vast majority of people who post, rip of words without working to find the right nuance and tone.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)But I disagree that writers find it difficult to get across emotions in their books. However, they do take months or more to create those stories, unlike for a single Internet post.
Or do they take months for that, too?
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)misunderstood, so I do try to find just the right words to convey what I'm thinking.
But since it's very difficult for me to put into words the pictures in my head, I don't always succeed.
The weird thing is, sometimes I'll take so much time trying to formulate a written response to something that I just give up in frustration.
And when I do think I've found the right words, sometimes the person I'm replying to will misunderstand anyway. Or...and this is frustrating as hell...someone will jump in out of the blue to bash me over the head. I'm talking someone who hasn't even participated in the thread at all except to give me a verbal smackdown over something he doesn't even understand.
It doesn't get any easier in RL, either. Honestly, there are times when I think, "Fuck it...I'm through talking to people altogether".
calimary
(81,340 posts)nuance, communicates the message in a wholly unique dimension that just the mere words on the screen simply cannot.
We forget sometimes. It's awfully easy to just sit here, as I am at the moment, by myself in the room (husband is outside having a cigar at the moment and son is in his room, working on a project), where nobody can see me or hear me, nobody knows me or stands there watching what I've said, nobody even knows who I am, and I'm certainly only using a screen name.
It's different when you see and hear - when there's an actual being sitting with you or standing in front of you. The cover of anonymity in this case is what I think is majorly to blame. It lets each of us be the ultimate hit 'n' run artist. Hit, and disappear into the ether, and nobody even knows or feels the pain - except for where it hit, also unseen, deep inside.
Maybe this is how some of US on this side of things act out. Maybe we vent our own rage this way. Maybe it keeps us from screaming down the middle of the street downtown during lunch hour. Maybe it keeps the darker thoughts and temptations away. Maybe it's just letting off steam. But words CAN hurt. And do. Whoever made up the little ditty "sticks and stones can break my bones but words (or names) will never hurt me" NEVER met the GOP or any of the other influences in our lives now that can infuriate and drive some of us to outrage and extremes and the want or need to lash out, and hit back.
I don't know what the answer is, except for all of us to try to be a little more vigilant, and take maybe a little more care of each other - in such circles of other kinds of kinship as this one is, here on DU.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)JonLP24
(29,322 posts)I have such an unreasonable social anxiety that a lot of things (how I say them) or do come off completely the wrong way. Something simple can turn into a huge misunderstanding. A lot of those happen due to assumptions made on their part so I prefer to avoid social situations because it is the simplest ways to avoid problems I didn't bargain for but since I go out of my way to avoid interaction that is more suspicion on my character even though I never have nefarious intentions & will never harm someone for personal gain(using & manipulation). I can easily predict how things will turn out before I visit.
This is easier because it is anonymous & lacks the preconceived notions or assumptions I face on a daily basis.
guillaumeb
(42,641 posts)I KNEW there was a reason that I keep checking your posts. More than one reason actually.
This should pop-up each time anyone hits "post my reply".
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Maybe I should take it to skinner in ATA. I am sure elad could figure a way to make it a pop up.
And, thanks~
calimary
(81,340 posts)Love YOU, sheshe2!
liberal N proud
(60,338 posts)And I think too many things get alerted for wrong reasons, but, if you see something that is offensive, alert on it.
Cha
(297,348 posts)Jackpine Radical
(45,274 posts)The best response to offensive posting is corrective replies.
I doubt I have alerted 5 times, and only for FLAGRANT stuff that had no redeeming virtues.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)The few times I have, MIRT took care of them before the alert was complete.
MIRT rocks~
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,757 posts)The anonymity of the Internet makes it too easy to be nasty without any repercussions. There is always a human at the other end. If, in a conversation about personal rather than political matters you suspect the person might not be truthful, all you have to do is - nothing. Leave the thread, or if you suspect a troll, notify MIRT. People who are having problems are not always rational. Don't pick on them.
"Be kind whenever it is possible. It is always possible." - The Dalai Lama
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)" all you have to do is leave the thread"
and this~
"Be kind whenever it is possible. It is always possible." - The Dalai Lama
Thank you.
Thank you both, while I have you right here. I think I missed something which I am thankful to have missed earlier.
You are both wise and compassionate, thank you for reminding us that we all have that ability and that we should all choose to be less abrasive with each other.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Half of those on the other end are living, breathing cats!
now that explains a lot.
TexasTowelie
(112,252 posts)but those cats are much more compassionate than the trolls.
marym625
(17,997 posts)And I am pretty sure that the phone cops put them there!
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)marym625
(17,997 posts)They expanded into Internet cops in the 90s!
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)marym625
(17,997 posts)I wonder if anyone knows what we are talking about
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)And anybody can google phone cops and get arrested...um, I mean get the scoop on the term. Yeah, that's the ticket!
marym625
(17,997 posts)Just seemed right.
Yeah, the scoop. Just the scoop!
(Move over please)
ieoeja
(9,748 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)Cha
(297,348 posts)chknltl
(10,558 posts)(And more than a few tough birds too).
femmocrat
(28,394 posts)I don't understand the meanness at times either. I saw one recently where a spelling fuss-budget jumped all over someone who might have been using English as their second language. Why??? We don't have "editors" here --- why not just let it go!
Some people are just too quick to make assumptions or feel superior, or whatever. The secretary where I used to work had a sign near her desk: "Because nice matters". I just try to keep that in mind when replying to fellow DUers, or I use the "trash this thread" or "ignore" buttons.
Peace!
mylye2222
(2,992 posts)johnnysad
(93 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)freshwest
(53,661 posts)FWIW, you were being thought of with love and caring by a very tiny, but very special group of people. Each of them value respect and kindness above all other things, and live lives of caring for others, today.
They know that they cannot survive without help and compassion. It is a visceral, essential part of their very existence.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Your small group, in my own way, I bless them all.
Okay, you made me cry.
Thank you.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)TexasTowelie
(112,252 posts)I saw a lot of ugliness recently that reminds me of Freeperville or the Cave. Some of the comments that I received on one thread nearly caused me to stop posting on DU. One year ago I attempted suicide and the exchange I experienced sent me into a dark place that made me consider whether I made any progress since that time.
I am aware that there are many DU members that have had or currently are experiencing issues with mental illness and depression. DU might be one of the few social outlets that are available.
Let's show support and compassion because I don't want DU to become FU.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)I mean that Talk to me if you want, I lost my brother to suicide 14 years ago. I had nightmares for a year.
Please take care of you.
KMOD
(7,906 posts)It would break my heart.
marym625
(17,997 posts)I know that word is thrown around easily. I know we have never met. But I always know you are a caring, well informed, beautiful person. And that's what I love. And so do many others.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)...when I saw someone posting without any caps. Actually I learned only later, when I saw the explanation, that that poster experiences a lot of hand pain in typing, especially in stretching to hit the caps key...
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Love you, you took the time to find the answer, pinboy!
drray23
(7,634 posts)Setting aside people being purposely mean because they are losing their argument or just bitter, there is also quite a bit of information lost when you communicate electronically. Body language cues, context and all that are lost. I had this happening before at work as well.
You send an email that you think is perfectly innocuous and the recipient gets all bend out of shape. You meet in person and clear the misunderstanding in a minute. Since we can not do the later on DU, it is good advice to carefully re-read what one types before hitting "Post my reply!".
cwydro
(51,308 posts)Bullying is alive and well at DU.
We see it all the time here in the lovely milieu of GD.
GD should just be called fight club.
Good to see you!
Yes, DU has it's bullies. Lol~ a jury member called me one of the worst bullies on DU. Called me a B***h as well. Gotta love DU when the bullies call everyone else a bully while they hide behind the anonymity of our jury system. They are so brave!
I'm on juries a lot.
Cannot imagine using that platform to insult someone.
That is wrong.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)He's still here (even posted in THIS thread) and I'm locked out of that thread. It's all good, though. It all evens out in the end.
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,645 posts)It IS always possible to be nice.
And we ARE a family, a huge cyber family, where we talk and laugh together, or cry.....
I've seen the support and the anger, both, and I'd rather have the support. We all would, I'm sure.
Thank you.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)Chathamization
(1,638 posts)Sometimes you'll get a ton of unpleasant responses from people. I guess the flip side is you sometimes just need to shrug it off and do something else for a bit.
treestar
(82,383 posts)of others!
Marie Marie
(9,999 posts)I spend so much time here because I do consider this "my community". When things get nasty, I scroll on by - not interested in any rudeness or excessive in-fighting. We may disagree and that is fine but civility and respect for others and their opinions should be the unspoken rule of law. The vast majority of DU-ers get this and I do not allow those that don't to ruin my experience here.
marlakay
(11,479 posts)and if people are in a bad mood or read something into a post that isn't there, they respond wrong.
It's all over the net like that. I try to do what you say, remember that we are all humans with emotions. Many don't seem to care and those are the very ones who need to read this the most.
Rex
(65,616 posts)And I hope the poster on the other end got the help they needed. I just don't want to look at all the kicking a person when they are down. Done it. It's shitty and you feel shitty but won't admit it later on.
And it takes a little bit of your soul with it, bit by bit. Into this mindless void called cyberspace.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Not entirely though. Lately DU feels the need to bully and slash and trash posters here. Yes, on some threads that people are hurting. Most are caring and compassionate, others just can't pass the thread by and say nothing. They need to dig into the wound and twist the knife.
Sadly, it does not stop there. Feel good threads are not exempt. There are some here that just want to take a little bit of good, a small happiness and take their big foot and grind it into the ground till it is dust. Trample it, piss on it and set it on fire. Trust me I know, I got a hide on my thread. They hurt me, they did not care. That is part of what I am saying here. DU is better than this. DUers can DU better than that.
Thanks Rex.
Dragonfli
(10,622 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)I thank you.
Dragonfli
(10,622 posts)It appears we agree on yet something else.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Lol~ That is progress.
This is why I have no one on ignore, Dragonfli.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)marym625
(17,997 posts)Thank you for saying it.
There is a big difference between someone going after someone in a heated discussion and someone going to a post with the intention of being nasty and vile. It's what my grandmother would say is, calling you up to call you down. Frankly, and obviously, I won't tolerate it and I won't hold back. When someone messes with someone for the sole purpose of messing with them, that's just mean. And to admit to following someone and alerting because they're annoyed! Just abhorrent behavior on a site that is meant to bring camaraderie.
I do have to wonder if it would happen less often if people used their real name. I'm not saying they should. I just wonder.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)marym625
(17,997 posts)Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)villager
(26,001 posts)You'd think that kindness would be the more revolutionary act befitting an "underground," eh...
steve2470
(37,457 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)When the Dodgers came, guess who we rooted for?
But I still remember the thrill of seeing the lights flash at Commiskey from my grandparents' stoop when the Sox scored when I was a kid.
Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)I have watched the Braves move from Fulton County Stadium to Turner Field and, now to SunTrust Park in Cobb County.
SunTrust Park is a baseball park under construction that will serve as the future home of Atlanta Braves of Major League Baseball (MLB), located in the Cumberland area of Cobb County, Georgia, northwest of Atlanta. Instead of renovating Turner Field, their current ballpark, the Braves announced on November 11, 2013, that they would leave after 2016, when their lease ends, for a new stadium to be built in Cobb County, north of Atlanta.
more at link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SunTrust_Park
*sigh* good times. good memories.
pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)...but the last time I was at Chavez Ravine was in '65 as a Valley boy in HS.
They had a Boys Day in Business and Government and I was Captain Commander of the LAPD Intelligence Division for a day, running around with the cop who held that job--and he took me to the Police Academy at Chavez for lunch.
The guy who had that job at the time was Daryl Gates, some years before he became Chief.
Art_from_Ark
(27,247 posts)Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)I've seen coming from you is usually after incessant provocation on the part of other posters.
Usually they deserve it.
Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)cwydro
(51,308 posts)SoapBox
(18,791 posts)Good post!
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)on the other side of our keyboards. I enjoy very much a good debate. I really don't like the self-righteous bullying that goes on here sometimes. I have seen first hand, good, honest people get run out because they couldn't deal with the bullies here.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Thank you so very much. I love a good debate as well. I will swear like a long shore man if I wish. I refuse to be bullied. I will speak my mind.
In the end, no one needs to be cruel to make their point. Thanks for getting that!
Thespian2
(2,741 posts)what are we? Are we people who are concerned about our world, our county, our city, town, state? In the small community in which I live, people help everyone, even those they do not agree with and do not meet socially. They do it because it is the right thing to do...and they never brag about what they do. I am fortunate to live among them.
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)Doesn't seem to stop some DU'ers from advocating extrajudicial torture in prisons, includign rape.
Doesn't preclude some DU'ers from cheering for and justifying the murder of Arab children "just in case."
Doesn't seem to slow anyone down from cheering about the suffering of Russian poor to show what a big dick the president has
Didn't stop lots of people for howling for blood and fire in Syria in 2013
Hasn't slowed down anyone from working hard to justify and support transphobia, sexism, and racial abuse.
Bottom line is, yes, there is a person at the other end of the keyboard. And a lot of those people are pretty fucking terrible.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)The political board is a fucking mess. Yet that was not the point of my Op. Not the point at all.
Whoosh! Went right over your head.
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)But thanks for the condescension. I guess you don't fully agree with you, either
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Oh, wait. You didn't. No Scoot, don't do your derailment thing as so many do. Respond to the Op or trash my thread, don't try your cute stuff with me. Not in the mood.
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)Now it's not a total disagreement. "Be excellent to one another" should be default. But then someone advocates rape or something, and the gloves ought to come off, is what I'm saying. Follow?
I further feel that people who advocate gunning down teenagers of the "wrong race," or other such loathsome positions, are a much bigger problem in our community than the people who call them on it.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Follow?
I said
I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.
Yes. Whoosh, it went way over your head!
Way over!
Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)My point is that there are people beyond the keyboard, as well. I don't believe that calling for rape or murder is politics. And frankly I'm much less worried about the feelings of someone typing that shit on a keyboard, than I am worried about their family.
varying mileages, I guess.
Maybe you ought to actually address the people who are causing the problem you see? I think it might be more effective with addressing the problem than this thread will be
Violet_Crumble
(35,961 posts)I get totally what yr saying. Alas, I fear there's a communication problem here, so let me handle it...
There's always someone at the end of the keyboard.
Sometimes crap stuff happens to them and it sucks
We send them hugs and listen to them
Except if it's some fuckwit who's all for bombing the shit out of assorted Arabs and Iranians and then they turn up and start a thread about how someone keyed their car and then returned the next day and stole all the tyres off it. HA! Karma!
But we should send them hugs and listen to them too because they're someone at the end of a keyboard and stuff.
Lots more pics of smiley happy things tra la la...
He needs a panda hug
Enough! Everyone needs to be nice to each other! Everyone needs to be watching this song whenever they post and there won't be any nasty posts ever!
LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)I kinda want a panda hug now
Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)But I think if you are seriously trying to characterize those fucked up viewpoints as representantive of anything remotely like a significant portion of opinion on DU, you're off base.
In fact, I highly doubt that anyone who "advocates gunning down teenagers of the wrong race" is part of the community long enough to be a "bigger problem", because MIRT bans them.
If you have links to some big group of long time DU members doing that, I'll gladly concede I'm wrong, here.
rhett o rick
(55,981 posts)advocate rape or other horrible things. And you might have very good judgement. And if you want to respond to those posters in a way that might convince them they are wrong fine, but too often, people believe that they are on the side of goodness that that justifies bad behavior on their part. The justification that all bullies use is "they deserved it." I have seen decent people here get mislabeled as one kind of "apologist" or another, and subsequently bullied.
We have hosts, juries and Admins here to handle posters that are inappropriate. There is no reason for posters to decide that they have the right to bully other posters.
If you think that person on the other end of the line is a bad person, work within the system.
"Self-righteousness is the devil's masterpiece to make us think well of ourselves." Thomas Adams
Vattel
(9,289 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Marr
(20,317 posts)You were saying something about treating others politely, I believe.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Really?
Derailing a thread is so very polite.
Marr
(20,317 posts)I'm discussing the topic-- or specifically, a sidebar in the conversation. This is not 'derailing' anything.
And I haven't insulted you once, though you've made several not-so-kind insinuations yourself.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.
Who are we?
Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?
I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.
DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.
Marr
(20,317 posts)There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.
Who are we?
Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?
I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.
DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.
Marr
(20,317 posts)...might put this OP in context. If that's the case, that's great.
Still- you might want to clue others into that fact next time before insulting them for not getting your point. Picking fights in your own thread about being kind and thoughtful looks rather silly.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)I picked a fight here? No. I did not.
marym625
(17,997 posts)So you don't have to keep repeating yourself
Cool Hand Luke (1967) - The Captain's speech " Wh
:
But then probably someone would think you're advocating for the Captain.
Strife - Sometimes It Feels Like You Just Can't W :
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.
Who are we?
Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?
I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.
DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)to people.
I consider the phrase, "Whoosh! Went right over your head" to be somewhat snotty.
As if the other person is too...stupid...to understand what you meant.
Know what would have been a nicer reply?
Just the first paragraph without the gratuitous and somewhat demeaning reference to something going right over someone's head.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)Marr
(20,317 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)for letting a post fly so far over your head?
You have a passion for doing what my Op refers to. Lol~Why is it that you seek me out to take a dump on me?
Marr
(20,317 posts)It's just a very basic and, if you'll forgive me, rather empty sentiment that does little but act as a cue for applause.
I felt that Scootaloo's comment was very much worthwhile. There is a good reason to be rude sometimes. Some positions deserve scorn, and should not be accommodated with polite consideration.
LeftishBrit
(41,208 posts)I think it's referring to much more personal hurtfulness: at the milder end, ridiculing people's posts for grammatical errors; at the more extreme end, sneering at them over misfortunes, poverty, illness, etc. in their personal lives.
closeupready
(29,503 posts)So, not sure why you are trying to finesse an accepted DU practice which is well-known to almost everyone (except you and, perhaps, 5 other people).
BrotherIvan
(9,126 posts)I think if we were talking in real life, the agreements would be much more civil. It's good to be reminded. Thanks to you and happy Spring.
Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)Another great thread.
Thank you for being you.
chillfactor
(7,577 posts)some of the posts I see here are truly disgusting..how some DUers can be so nasty to others is way beyond me...
NBachers
(17,125 posts)There've been times when some shithead has goaded me into a smackdown response, and they deserved it. But, usually, I think it's better just to move on . . . I've never understood those who need to jump in with muddy boots and leave dirty footprints behind for everyone to step over.
You're one of the DU'ers that contributes a lot of positive energy and imagery here, sheshe. Don't let anyone's muddy boots leave tracks in your life.
Cha
(297,348 posts)your opinion is what comes to my mind. But, it really says everything about the one who's doing the insulting and nothing about their target.
I try to stay off of threads that are knock down drag outs because I really do have better things to do with my time on the internet.
Excellent reminder about the real live beings at the other end of the keyboards.
Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)The legislature is 2/3rds Republicans, so they have a huge majority in both houses of the legislature.
Their bill is expected to be signed by the Republican Governor of the state of Idaho.
Real lives have been affected by bullying on the internet.
Many people have been bullied to the point of suicide!!!
Cha
(297,348 posts)everyone to be made aware of the bullying and for IT to STOP!
I have seen it here more than once.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)Last edited Mon Apr 6, 2015, 07:24 AM - Edit history (1)
I've seen ad hominem nastiness thrown at folks some others have put on their "enemies" list, that I wouldnt wish upon anyone.
Low, vile, totally uncalled for shit.
I like to think I dont go there. I really try to make it about the underlying issues and not personal, but I am sure I have fallen short of that myself at times.
Good post, good reminder, particularly since the nastiness quotient is almost certain to rise with primary season.
napkinz
(17,199 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)marym625
(17,997 posts)Because it is a really good thing. Something that is not easy for most people to do. .
Good for both of you.
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)It's a point that needs to be made more frequently too. Thanks for putting it out there.
Counting 10 and thinking about what sort of blowback you are prepared to deal with is a good starting point. We are better than what we present sometimes and what is sometimes tolerated as well.
You, my dear sister, always have my support.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)raccoon
(31,111 posts)closeupready
(29,503 posts)can dish out abuse, and then - when they get contradicted - claim they are being abused.
So in theory, I agree with the opening post, but in practice here on DU, it's irrelevant.
allan01
(1,950 posts)mfcorey1
(11,001 posts)brer cat
(24,579 posts)except for brief periods recently so I am not aware of which thread prompted this, but we needed this in general. You always come through, sheshe, and this is very well stated. Thanks for all that you do to keep this community and family civil and respectful.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Beautiful video.
randome
(34,845 posts)Kidding, of course.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]"If you're bored then you're boring." -Harvey Danger[/center][/font][hr]
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)When it comes to alternative medicine or beliefs in other things like anti-gmo, the bullies and naysayers pile it on thick and heavy. They mock, smear, degrade, make-crazy, ridicule, condescend and provoke. It becomes very difficult to defend ones position thoughtfully while being dragged into a viper pit of poison by a gang of bullies. The pile-ons are unfair and like a goon squad.
Don't allow yourselves to get drawn into the viper pit. Take the high road.
malaise
(269,079 posts)e
stillwaiting
(3,795 posts)I wish the mocking, ridiculing, and marginalizing that goes on around here all too often would come to an end.
It makes DU a much nastier place than it needs to be.
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)WilliamPitt
(58,179 posts)Interesting, considering the serial insults you've shoveled my way because you don't agree with my opinion of the president. I'm a living, breathing human being, too.
Practice what you preach. Then we'll talk about how you think people should behave.
JTFrog
(14,274 posts)For calling President Obama a "piece of shit used car salesman"?
It's a long time DU tradition to shovel insults at people who say incredibly hateful things about Democratic Presidents. You willfully joined their ranks. You should just own it.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)Um... okay... when was DU started again?
JTFrog
(14,274 posts)IIRC, DU took pretty good aim at those that would come in and talk shit about Clinton, Carter, Kennedy, FDR, etc. What makes Obama any different?
cui bono
(19,926 posts)I still think there is no reason to not criticize someone just because they are a Dem. That makes us no better than non-thinking teabaggers and Bushies - "you're either with us or against us".
JTFrog
(14,274 posts)"piece of shit used car salesman" is quite another.
Just sayin....
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)You nailed it!
Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)Sheshe2 has never been banned or suspended from posting at the DU.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)You made your op political by calling the President as POS used car salesman and doubled down when others kindly offered advice on both your ops. Not what my op was talking about, yet you knew that.
Here, feel free to jump on the political ops, that is where we should be focused.
Yet people just need to pass by a post from a man that is terminally ill, there is no need for an ugly post there. Other posts come to mind, feel good posts there is always someone that feels the need to jump on and disrupt, not talking about you here, yet I will leave it a that.
A fight about politics is one thing here and yes it can get ugly, yet, there is a time and a place for everything.
cstanleytech
(26,299 posts)people on ignore.
sulphurdunn
(6,891 posts)nasty becomes the new topic.
aikoaiko
(34,174 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)I love you, lady, cybernetically or not! You have been such a joy!
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)raven mad
(4,940 posts)I think I've been following you since about 2012!
Helen Borg
(3,963 posts)Everything we do is "real life"...
spooky3
(34,461 posts)ChisolmTrailDem
(9,463 posts)...I sense this has something to do with another thread. Could someone please link to it so I can gain a little more context.
Thank you.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)I see a lot of people in complete agreement on this thread who are some of the rudest posters I've seen on here. A lot of them throw out a snarky line that has nothing to do with an issue and then follow it up with that infamous smiley. Perhaps you should cross post this in a particular group that is on DU. You know the one I mean. Because seriously, members of that group are among the most rude and dismissive people I've ever encountered on here, particularly because they aren't even making a point, they're just posting empty retorts. At least if someone is rude and making a point there is some sort of discussion of the issues going on.
I'm really not trying to start anything here, but we all know members of that group are your buddies, so I hope you mean to direct this at them as well, and even clarify that to be sure they understand, because when someone that is a vocal member of a clique here on DU expresses a sentiment such as this without acknowledging one's own participation or that of their clique it comes off as just a lecture to those others with whom you have disagreements. And due to that I cannot in good faith rec this thread.
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)On Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:37 PM an alert was sent on the following post:
she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6466057
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
ALERTER'S COMMENTS
Rude and insulting from beginning to end. Following this poster's logic, it's okay to be rude and snotty as long as you're making a point. The only point to this post is camouflaging a condescending, exaggerated call out. Yuck.
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:46 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.
Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: If the alerter was insulted that speaks far more about the alerter than it does the alertee
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: 2nd paragraph is dicey but seems like an honest attempt at discussion.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Nothing out of line in that post. I suspect the alerter is uncomfortable with the post for personal reasons... but would likely benefit from looking in the mirror.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: cui bono speaks the truth
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
cui bono
(19,926 posts)Imo, their alert is hide worthy.
KittyWampus
(55,894 posts)but the alerter should have confronted you on it in the thread not via alert.
This is a discussion forum not an alert on someone who says something you don't like forum.
You talking about cliques though. And called ME rude. LOL
There's stuff I like about DU but the hypocrisy and lack of self awareness is annoying.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)I don't see how the OP is anything more than a lecture to those that the OP disagrees with, especially when you see the responses the OP has made in this very thread. Responses that absolutely do not do what the OP called for in the OP.
The OP was a sort of call out of its own and I was responding to it. It would have been difficult to make my point without stating what I did.
And as you saw, even if I have negative impressions of someone or if I disagree with them, I do not let that cloud my judgment when it comes to DU jury duty, or defending/criticizing someone. I see you did the same and I respect you for that.
It was not me, I don't alert. One or 2 times on trolls that MIRT banned before I even finished the process.
Cui, why not just name the group? You are talking about the BOG. We are a group, what you don't get about a group over a forum is beyond me. Talk to skinner if you do not like or wish to follow the rules. I have no clue who banned you or what you may have said. Obviously it is a huge issue for you, you have mentioned it over and over. Would you like me to reinstate you? I will. I have done it more than once. Send me a PM. Yet if you wish to post you need to stick to the rules. There is plenty of room in GD for you to trash the President.
I am sure you would follow the rules of groups like African American, HoF, Elizabeth Warren, Hillary, Environment and Change, correct? You would surely respect their Mission statements, correct?
Ah, the alert is hide worthy yet your call out on me is not.
FYI....I have blocked people, not banned, a few times, always with a warning and a request that they delete.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)As to me I don't let my thoughts about another DUer get in the way of trying to be fair about my assessment of their posts and about my behavior on a jury.
I agree with you on a lot of social issues. You are one who is able to put aside the differences when it comes to other subjects and I appreciate that.
However, your OP is simply a condescending lecture when you don't admit that you yourself need to keep it in mind. It is simply finger wagging at others, and as I mentioned in my other post, when the people from your clique applaud it and don't even realize that it applies to them more than a lot of other DUers, and when those are the people that you "hang out" with and agree with and "high five" all the time, it's fair game for someone to mention that, so I did.
And you have to admit, it's pretty ironic that in this very thread you posted some rude replies to people. If I'm going to be lectured by someone I certainly expect it to be by someone who practices what they preach when they make no mention of ever slipping up themselves, or even mention that hey, we all do it. But there was no hint of that at all in the OP.
As to the BOG. This has nothing to do with that other than the people who I find to be the rudest on DU post in there often and are members of that group. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was banned for some meaningless comment with no warning. I describe that here because you brought it up. Well, perhaps that does have something to do with it in that it was yet another example of the rudeness of which I speak.
If you feel my post was a call out then so be it. Your OP was pretty much one and I responded to it. As I said, you could have worded your OP differently so that it wasn't a lecture, so that it included everybody on DU, but you didn't. Because of that I spoke to that point. If all you want is praise and recs then you shouldn't post on a message board, or you should just post in the BOG. But as this is a message board I am posting my opinion of the OP that you posted which was your opinion. That is a discussion and that's why we're here.
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)A member with a terminal illness was called out that day. Sad that DU is so uncaring. My Op was about a little compassion to the person some were responding to. To be aware of that person at the end of your keyboard.
I said.
Who are we?
Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?
Yet you
However, your OP is simply a condescending lecture when you don't admit that you yourself need to keep it in mind. It is simply finger wagging at others, and as I mentioned in my other post, when the people from your clique applaud it and don't even realize that it applies to them more than a lot of other DUers, and when those are the people that you "hang out" with and agree with and "high five" all the time, it's fair game for someone to mention that, so I did.
Go for it cui, talk about finger wagging from my supposed clique, are you talking about those that support the same things I do, are you grouping everyone on this board that supports this President as BOGers? Truly? We are well aware that you all hate us. We know you all do not support this President. You have made that clear.
As I stated before, you have a huge issue with the BOG. I already stated that I would unblock you if you PM me, yet you continue to attack.
And
And you have to admit, it's pretty ironic that in this very thread you posted some rude replies to people. If I'm going to be lectured by someone I certainly expect it to be by someone who practices what they preach when they make no mention of ever slipping up themselves, or even mention that hey, we all do it. But there was no hint of that at all in the OP.
You are right, I responded to what was tossed my way. This thread stopped being about an ounce of compassion for others a long time ago.
This is just another that ridiculed me and what I post here, you probably found it funny.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026464088#post104
I could tell you a story cui....you wouldn't believe it. You are set in your ways.
Last
As to the BOG. This has nothing to do with that other than the people who I find to be the rudest on DU post in there often and are members of that group.
That is great cui. I already have that label, I do thank you very much. A jury member, hiding anonymously, slyly, cruelly called me the worst bully on DU. The worst. Do you agree with that? Then they went on to call me out on my bitchiness. Do you agree with that? I was called a bitch by a jury member. We sure as hell can DU better than that.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)know that you were referring to something specific. In that case I would just point it out in the thread directly to the people who are being mean.
You are absolutely wrong if you think I hate anyone. What I 'hate' is attitude and empty smarmy posts that are nothing more than name calling and insults.
You are absolutely wrong to say I don't support the president. (not everything is about him) I don't support a lot of his actions and policies. I wish we had a liberal president as I am a liberal, so of course I'm not happy with a self-described moderate Republican. What I don't support is the people who attempt to disallow any criticism of the president and proceed to call those who criticize his policies and actions with smarmy posts that are only insults with smileys and have no content about policy in them. We try to discuss policy and get rude name calling in return. You know it happens. You know who does it.
And no, I'm not grouping everyone who supports the president as a BOGGER. That would be silly. I evaluate people based on their posts just as in real life I evaluate people based on what they say and do. And anything I've said was based on the posts and actions of the posters themselves. Most of them do belong to a certain group, but not all who belong to that group behave that way.
I'm sorry anyone called you a bitch. I didn't do it though, so don't hold it against me. I'm not sure why you brought that up and then proceeded to ask me if I agree with that. Clearly I don't agree with that, you should have gathered that from my previous post. I do not let my feelings about others' posts/positions affect my jury duty behavior, I told you that already. Did you think it was me who did that???
As to the post you linked to, I didn't even understand that post, much less had any inkling that it referred to you in any way, why would I have? Why do you think I "probably found it funny"? Really sheshe, you are making baseless, ill-advised and insulting accusations about me right now on a personal level in your very thread asking people to be nice. And you dismiss your rudeness to others in this thread with a casual oh well, that's how the thread went, as if your reaction is beyond your control. Surely you can see how that looks.
Honestly, you shouldn't post an OP like this if you don't practice what you preach. Or if you do you should make a point that it's directed at everyone and that you include yourself or something. Or maybe you do believe that it's only necessary to be nice to terminally ill people? I don't quite know what to make of it.
As I already stated originally, when you post like that it just comes across as a lecture. And it's ironic that some of the people on here cheering the OP are the ones who need to heed it the most.
LittleBlue
(10,362 posts)On Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:37 PM an alert was sent on the following post:
she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6466057
REASON FOR ALERT
This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.
ALERTER'S COMMENTS
Rude and insulting from beginning to end. Following this poster's logic, it's okay to be rude and snotty as long as you're making a point. The only point to this post is camouflaging a condescending, exaggerated call out. Yuck.
You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:46 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.
Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: If the alerter was insulted that speaks far more about the alerter than it does the alertee
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: 2nd paragraph is dicey but seems like an honest attempt at discussion.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Nothing out of line in that post. I suspect the alerter is uncomfortable with the post for personal reasons... but would likely benefit from looking in the mirror.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: cui bono speaks the truth
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)Following logic does not lead to their conclusion what so ever.
great white snark
(2,646 posts)Have a nice day.
cui bono
(19,926 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)MisterP
(23,730 posts)Gormy Cuss
(30,884 posts)Unfortunately we can't see through the internet to understand more about the person's motivations. Maybe the person is in pain. Maybe the person is just having a bad day. Maybe the person likes to provoke conflict on the internet because the person is powerless in real life. Or maybe the person is a full time asshole.
I used to be very careful when engaging difficult people here back when moderation, for all its flaws, was pretty successful at keeping discussions civil. These days the typical DU jury views civility as over-rated.
A HERETIC I AM
(24,371 posts)(Just a response to the title of the OP, nothing more. It is my sworn duty to inject humor as best I can wherever I can)
RKP5637
(67,111 posts)Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)No wonder you have a fan club . . you're wonderful, thoughtful, kind, and informative.
Geez, I guess you must be . . *gulp* . . a liberal!
sheshe2
(83,801 posts)Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)I might have to post here more often.
Number23
(24,544 posts)what you were referring to in your OP.
I wouldn't even sweat it. Send them a thank you for illustrating that even on a thread where you don't single out any group or individuals or even any particular positions, that there are some that just CAN'T STOP with the bullshit here. These "principled objectors" just did you a favor.
K&R
steve2470
(37,457 posts)sheshe2
(83,801 posts)I am A Okay~ Thank you.
Major Hogwash
(17,656 posts)You started your thread asking for people to consider thinking before replying, and now you have over 200 recs for this thread.
Congratulations.
Now, let's talk about those selfies I asked you to send me . . .
samsingh
(17,599 posts)tclambert
(11,087 posts)Real people, indeed. That's just another liberal hoax. I bet Al Gore is behind it, although he clearly isn't a real person, either.
ms liberty
(8,581 posts)BumRushDaShow
(129,165 posts)for some truth-telling.
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)That seems pretty neat. I'm glad, because this is a post that exemplifies what I'd like to think is the Liberal, Progressive spirit.
❤
guillaumeb
(42,641 posts)"a sack full of frog spawn." should I consider that an insult? I like eating frog legs, and French people ARE called frogs sometimes. Maybe it is a good thing.
I was in a discussion with another member who kept insisting that I was saying one thing. When I pointed out that I had not actually said that, the discussion degenerated to name calling on the part of the other poster.
If however, being called a sack of frog spawn is a good thing then I will thank the poster.
Jamaal510
(10,893 posts)LeftishBrit
(41,208 posts)Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)I've been keeping this in mind more and more often
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)I agree. It only takes a few moments to re-read what you've written.
Sometimes I'll go away for a few minutes before sending. I'm sometimes surprised at what I wrote either wasn't what I really meant, or that could have been said in a different way.
It only takes a couple of minutes and it may save someone from being hurt by a phrase or word said in haste or from a misunderstood idea.
You're one of the many on DU that make it like a family and enjoyable to come here.
Plus, I always learn something.
Thanks.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)It's all too easy, especially in the heat of argument/debate, to lose sight of what you said.
The real world is cruel enough to us all, without any trivial cruelties coming to us via internet. That's how I see it anyway.
Thank you.
WillyT
(72,631 posts)Beacool
(30,250 posts)It's depressing to read the level of cruelty of some people. It has even driven some of the victims of their viciousness to suicide. Have people always been so cruel and nasty or is this a new phenomenon?
I find it cowardly. As a rule I don't type anything I wouldn't say face to face to someone. Whether people agree with me or not, I stand with what I write. If I make an error, I try to admit to my mistake.
I don't think that I will ever accept of fully understand what drives some people to act in the way they do on the internet.