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sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 09:54 PM Apr 2015

There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.

Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.

Who are we?

Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?

I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.

DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.

207 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard. (Original Post) sheshe2 Apr 2015 OP
She.... Hekate Apr 2015 #1
Hey sweetie! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #5
you are sooo right. Thanks for posting. maybe well all think before we type. williesgirl Apr 2015 #2
Humans evovled to use body languge to give full meaning to what people say. Agnosticsherbet Apr 2015 #3
That's true. kentauros Apr 2015 #121
How many of us take the time? It is not easy to get those emotions across in books. Agnosticsherbet Apr 2015 #128
I agree that most people don't take the time. kentauros Apr 2015 #129
I don't like being pipi_k Apr 2015 #134
And you never get to hear the tone of VOICE. Sometimes the spoken word, the inflection, the calimary Apr 2015 #148
You my dear calimary have a way with words. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #198
This is exactly the reason why I'm so often misunderstood in real life JonLP24 Apr 2015 #201
thanks sheshe guillaumeb Apr 2015 #4
"This should pop-up each time anyone hits "post my reply"." sheshe2 Apr 2015 #13
Like this! calimary Apr 2015 #149
I am not an advocate of overuse of the jury system... liberal N proud Apr 2015 #6
I never alert unless it's too obviously a troll seeped through from Discussionist or some such place Cha Apr 2015 #97
Me neither. Jackpine Radical Apr 2015 #138
I don't alert either Cha. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #199
Thank you for writing this. The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2015 #7
What you said, exactly TVO. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #10
Aho. 2naSalit Apr 2015 #69
This shows how little you know pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #8
~ sheshe2 Apr 2015 #11
Yes, TexasTowelie Apr 2015 #20
Yeah, those really are the mean ones! marym625 Apr 2015 #37
The PHONE COPS? pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #41
yes! The phone cops! marym625 Apr 2015 #43
Color Doctor Johnny Fever and me hiding behind the couch pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #44
They see you back there! marym625 Apr 2015 #46
I love cross-thread references pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #48
I saw your reply here right after conversing with you on the other marym625 Apr 2015 #53
The Phone Cops are real. And far bigger than you imagine. ieoeja Apr 2015 #124
No, wait! I get Johnny Fever! raven mad Apr 2015 #204
Adorable! Cha Apr 2015 #98
DU has the coolest cats around! chknltl Apr 2015 #139
Thank you for posting this, sheshe. femmocrat Apr 2015 #9
Im ESL and thank you for this post mylye2222 Apr 2015 #205
Agree with you , some people are just mean johnnysad Apr 2015 #12
Welcome to DU, johnnysad. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #15
thanks johnnysad Apr 2015 #16
You are so very welcome~ sheshe2 Apr 2015 #24
Better said than I was able to enunciate earlier on another thread. Very clear. BTW, I went to my freshwest Apr 2015 #14
I am deeply touched freshwest. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #19
Wow! pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #31
K&R TexasTowelie Apr 2015 #17
Take care of you TT. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #23
Don't you ever stop posting here, Towelie. KMOD Apr 2015 #32
I love you marym625 Apr 2015 #40
I learned something... pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #18
Yes! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #25
I suspect this happens because of the medium drray23 Apr 2015 #21
Good post. cwydro Apr 2015 #22
cwydro... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #30
Ha. cwydro Apr 2015 #70
I got a hide on a troll's thread for calling him "preposterous," lol pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #80
That's.. Warren DeMontague Apr 2015 #101
Those are very good words, my dear sheshe... CaliforniaPeggy Apr 2015 #26
+1 KMOD Apr 2015 #33
+2 nt steve2470 Apr 2015 #35
Thanks. Your post made me think of this thread Chathamization Apr 2015 #27
Love you, you are always thoughtful treestar Apr 2015 #28
Well said sheshe. Marie Marie Apr 2015 #29
It's just too easy to give a quick answer marlakay Apr 2015 #34
There is a monster thread here I am avoiding. The temptation to open it and read it is strong. Rex Apr 2015 #36
Part of my reference was to an Op I read. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #58
Highly Recommended /nt Dragonfli Apr 2015 #38
Well hello, dragonfli. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #42
Good OP sheshe. You are 100% Right. Dragonfli Apr 2015 #50
You just made my day! Thank you! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #56
k&r Liberal_in_LA Apr 2015 #39
Good, needed post marym625 Apr 2015 #45
Thank you mary. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #200
No, thank you for a much needed post. n/t marym625 Apr 2015 #206
Hear, hear! K&R! nt Mnemosyne Apr 2015 #47
Well said! The degree of cruel snark here has always been perplexing... villager Apr 2015 #49
so so true, you nailed it nt steve2470 Apr 2015 #155
*hangs head and apologizes* Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #51
There is no forgiveness without pennants pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #57
omg The BROOKLYN DODGERS *and* The MILWAUKEE BRAVES ?!!!! WANT !!!! Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #59
My dad was all White Sox until we moved from Chicago to L.A. pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #60
and I still remember seeing Phil Neikro pitch and Hank Aaron hitting a homerun when I was a kid. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #65
I saw some Dodgers games as a kid... pinboy3niner Apr 2015 #73
And the St. Louis Browns, too! Art_from_Ark Apr 2015 #64
yeah !! a great collection !! Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #66
The only "trash talk" cwydro Apr 2015 #117
thanks for the vote of confidence, cwydro. much appreciated. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #120
Anytime. cwydro Apr 2015 #125
K & R SoapBox Apr 2015 #52
Great post. It is easy to forget that we really don't know the situation of those rhett o rick Apr 2015 #54
Well Rhett! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #67
With no sense of community, Thespian2 Apr 2015 #55
There are people at the other end of the discussion itself, too Scootaloo Apr 2015 #61
Well Scoot.... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #63
No, it didn't go over my head, I simply have a different opinion than you do Scootaloo Apr 2015 #68
I thank you so very much for responding to the Op. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #71
My response is that i don't feel that everyone deserves "nice treatment" Scootaloo Apr 2015 #72
Hey Scoot. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #75
I'm not talking politics either Scootaloo Apr 2015 #84
Scoot, I sense a communication breakdown.... Violet_Crumble Apr 2015 #104
... LittleBlue Apr 2015 #146
I agree. i think anyone who advocates rape or race-based teenager murders, doesnt deserve our respect Warren DeMontague Apr 2015 #100
It's understandible that you might want to punish those that you think rhett o rick Apr 2015 #130
As someone who has been unfairly labeled and bullied by some in this thread, I agree! Vattel Apr 2015 #176
+1 Marr Apr 2015 #76
So surprised to see you, Marr. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #79
Ah-- don't let me interrupt. Marr Apr 2015 #81
So, you and Scoot are being so polite to me? sheshe2 Apr 2015 #83
This is a discussion board. Marr Apr 2015 #86
... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #87
Yes, it's a nice sentiment. /nt Marr Apr 2015 #89
... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #90
Since reading your OP, I've seen another post on this forum that, I think... Marr Apr 2015 #91
The point of my Op that eludes you... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #92
Thought maybe you could use this marym625 Apr 2015 #110
... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #88
So much for "being nice" pipi_k Apr 2015 #123
+1. But you know, "being nice" is a lecture given to little people. closeupready Apr 2015 #131
+1, excellent point. Marr Apr 2015 #77
Is it Bravo or Brava sheshe2 Apr 2015 #82
Your point didn't go over my head at all. Marr Apr 2015 #85
I don't think the OP refers to people being tough or angry in political debate LeftishBrit Apr 2015 #183
"Sneering" and mocking other members is openly promoted on DU. closeupready Apr 2015 #191
Good post BrotherIvan Apr 2015 #62
Mahalo, sheshe2. Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #74
Thank you for your post.... chillfactor Apr 2015 #78
Yes NBachers Apr 2015 #93
Yes sheshe2 Apr 2015 #94
I was in a thread earlier today- I knew where the pain was coming from, and I left it alone NBachers Apr 2015 #95
Brilliant post, she.. Mahalo! the gratuitiously insulting posts because others don't agree with Cha Apr 2015 #96
Speaking of bullying, Idaho's legislature is passing an "anti-bullying" law this week. Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #156
Good on the Republicon legislature and the Repub Gov, Major! It's very important for Cha Apr 2015 #177
Thank you Cha. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #161
Some people take DU way too fucking seriously, for starts. Warren DeMontague Apr 2015 #99
beautiful! (and let's remember who we are) napkinz Apr 2015 #102
That is perfect. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #194
I hope you saw what you caused to happen marym625 Apr 2015 #103
For sure. Skidmore Apr 2015 #105
Thank you Sidmore. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #195
Great post. nt raccoon Apr 2015 #106
Looking at screen names in this thread, plenty of bullies here who closeupready Apr 2015 #107
the meanness happens in real life too allan01 Apr 2015 #108
This!!!! The truth! mfcorey1 Apr 2015 #109
I have been away from DU brer cat Apr 2015 #111
Kicking a thread we all need to read. In_The_Wind Apr 2015 #112
Brava, ITW. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #197
Prove it. randome Apr 2015 #113
Thanks for posting, sheshe. Dont call me Shirley Apr 2015 #114
+1,000 malaise Apr 2015 #115
This is a very good and important post. stillwaiting Apr 2015 #116
Well said - thank you for posting. el_bryanto Apr 2015 #118
Hm. WilliamPitt Apr 2015 #119
Oh please. JTFrog Apr 2015 #136
"Long time DU tradition"? cui bono Apr 2015 #140
Is this the first Democratic President in history? JTFrog Apr 2015 #142
Okay, I took what you said to mean sitting Dem Presidents. I stand corrected. cui bono Apr 2015 #162
Constructive criticism is one thing... JTFrog Apr 2015 #187
Thank JTFrog. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #196
Hmm. Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #154
Okay William.... sheshe2 Apr 2015 #179
So true and its sadly forced me to put such cstanleytech Apr 2015 #122
The minute someone gets nasty, sulphurdunn Apr 2015 #126
Thank you for this. aikoaiko Apr 2015 #127
DU has been family since get-go. raven mad Apr 2015 #132
Back at you, raven mad. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #189
MAJOR hugs to you, sheshe = raven mad Apr 2015 #203
"not real life"... Helen Borg Apr 2015 #133
Great post, sheshe2. spooky3 Apr 2015 #135
Great post. But I haven't been around for a couple of days... ChisolmTrailDem Apr 2015 #137
she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however... cui bono Apr 2015 #141
Results... Major Nikon Apr 2015 #144
Thank you. The alerter clearly must have personal bias involved. cui bono Apr 2015 #164
I was juror #3, your post was a call out no matter how you try to dress it up KittyWampus Apr 2015 #173
The hypocrisy is exactly what my post was about. cui bono Apr 2015 #180
FYI. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #175
No sheshe, my post was not based on personal bias. I know you have noticed that I rec your threads. cui bono Apr 2015 #181
I feel sad for you that you believe my Op to be a call out. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #182
sheshe... your OP doesn't mention anything about being mean to a critically ill member so I did not cui bono Apr 2015 #193
Your post was alerted on LittleBlue Apr 2015 #147
Thanks. The alerter clearly missed the point. cui bono Apr 2015 #165
Since you missed the point I'll make up for your unrec. great white snark Apr 2015 #150
Oh the irony. n/t cui bono Apr 2015 #163
Thank you great whiteb snark! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #185
I know, and that's what disturbs me more than what the people are saying MisterP Apr 2015 #143
Sometimes the living, breathing human being is acting badly. Gormy Cuss Apr 2015 #145
He must be really, really tiny. A HERETIC I AM Apr 2015 #151
K&R! n/t RKP5637 Apr 2015 #152
Thank you, once again, sheshe2, for just being you. Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #153
thanks MH! sheshe2 Apr 2015 #188
You're the best!! Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #202
Don't be mad. Be thankful that a handful ran, not walked, RAN to beautifully illustrate exactly Number23 Apr 2015 #157
+1 nt steve2470 Apr 2015 #158
I am not sweating it, Number23. sheshe2 Apr 2015 #168
You did the right thing. Major Hogwash Apr 2015 #170
thank you for posting. You are right samsingh Apr 2015 #159
There is not! I double-checked all my cables. tclambert Apr 2015 #160
An excellent post. Well done, and much needed. Thanks! K&R n/t ms liberty Apr 2015 #166
K&R BumRushDaShow Apr 2015 #167
rec #222 BlancheSplanchnik Apr 2015 #169
if someone calls me guillaumeb Apr 2015 #171
All this time, I thought I was talking to robots and automatons on these online forums. Jamaal510 Apr 2015 #172
Well, there was Grovelbot! LeftishBrit Apr 2015 #184
+100000000 Blue_Tires Apr 2015 #174
Good thread sheshe2 bearssoapbox Apr 2015 #178
a good reminder for us all steve2470 Apr 2015 #186
HUGE K & R !!! - THANK YOU !!! WillyT Apr 2015 #190
On the internet people can be their nasty selves because it's anonymous. Beacool Apr 2015 #192
Kick, for that informative side-by-side comparison. DisgustipatedinCA May 2015 #207

Agnosticsherbet

(11,619 posts)
3. Humans evovled to use body languge to give full meaning to what people say.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:01 PM
Apr 2015

One of the problems with the Internet is that we lose that part of communication.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
121. That's true.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 10:08 AM
Apr 2015

However, if you take the time to ponder what you're about to say, truly parsing your words, you can evoke any emotion through text alone.

If we couldn't get those emotions across through text, then we'd never have invented books

Agnosticsherbet

(11,619 posts)
128. How many of us take the time? It is not easy to get those emotions across in books.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 10:56 AM
Apr 2015

I think the vast majority of people who post, rip of words without working to find the right nuance and tone.

kentauros

(29,414 posts)
129. I agree that most people don't take the time.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:01 AM
Apr 2015

But I disagree that writers find it difficult to get across emotions in their books. However, they do take months or more to create those stories, unlike for a single Internet post.

Or do they take months for that, too?

pipi_k

(21,020 posts)
134. I don't like being
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:22 AM
Apr 2015

misunderstood, so I do try to find just the right words to convey what I'm thinking.

But since it's very difficult for me to put into words the pictures in my head, I don't always succeed.


The weird thing is, sometimes I'll take so much time trying to formulate a written response to something that I just give up in frustration.

And when I do think I've found the right words, sometimes the person I'm replying to will misunderstand anyway. Or...and this is frustrating as hell...someone will jump in out of the blue to bash me over the head. I'm talking someone who hasn't even participated in the thread at all except to give me a verbal smackdown over something he doesn't even understand.

It doesn't get any easier in RL, either. Honestly, there are times when I think, "Fuck it...I'm through talking to people altogether".

calimary

(81,340 posts)
148. And you never get to hear the tone of VOICE. Sometimes the spoken word, the inflection, the
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 02:14 PM
Apr 2015

nuance, communicates the message in a wholly unique dimension that just the mere words on the screen simply cannot.

We forget sometimes. It's awfully easy to just sit here, as I am at the moment, by myself in the room (husband is outside having a cigar at the moment and son is in his room, working on a project), where nobody can see me or hear me, nobody knows me or stands there watching what I've said, nobody even knows who I am, and I'm certainly only using a screen name.

It's different when you see and hear - when there's an actual being sitting with you or standing in front of you. The cover of anonymity in this case is what I think is majorly to blame. It lets each of us be the ultimate hit 'n' run artist. Hit, and disappear into the ether, and nobody even knows or feels the pain - except for where it hit, also unseen, deep inside.

Maybe this is how some of US on this side of things act out. Maybe we vent our own rage this way. Maybe it keeps us from screaming down the middle of the street downtown during lunch hour. Maybe it keeps the darker thoughts and temptations away. Maybe it's just letting off steam. But words CAN hurt. And do. Whoever made up the little ditty "sticks and stones can break my bones but words (or names) will never hurt me" NEVER met the GOP or any of the other influences in our lives now that can infuriate and drive some of us to outrage and extremes and the want or need to lash out, and hit back.

I don't know what the answer is, except for all of us to try to be a little more vigilant, and take maybe a little more care of each other - in such circles of other kinds of kinship as this one is, here on DU.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
198. You my dear calimary have a way with words.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 10:33 PM
Apr 2015
It's different when you see and hear - when there's an actual being sitting with you or standing in front of you. The cover of anonymity in this case is what I think is majorly to blame. It lets each of us be the ultimate hit 'n' run artist. Hit, and disappear into the ether, and nobody even knows or feels the pain - except for where it hit, also unseen, deep inside.


JonLP24

(29,322 posts)
201. This is exactly the reason why I'm so often misunderstood in real life
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 10:48 PM
Apr 2015

I have such an unreasonable social anxiety that a lot of things (how I say them) or do come off completely the wrong way. Something simple can turn into a huge misunderstanding. A lot of those happen due to assumptions made on their part so I prefer to avoid social situations because it is the simplest ways to avoid problems I didn't bargain for but since I go out of my way to avoid interaction that is more suspicion on my character even though I never have nefarious intentions & will never harm someone for personal gain(using & manipulation). I can easily predict how things will turn out before I visit.

This is easier because it is anonymous & lacks the preconceived notions or assumptions I face on a daily basis.

guillaumeb

(42,641 posts)
4. thanks sheshe
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:01 PM
Apr 2015

I KNEW there was a reason that I keep checking your posts. More than one reason actually.

This should pop-up each time anyone hits "post my reply".

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
13. "This should pop-up each time anyone hits "post my reply"."
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:15 PM
Apr 2015

Maybe I should take it to skinner in ATA. I am sure elad could figure a way to make it a pop up.

And, thanks~

liberal N proud

(60,338 posts)
6. I am not an advocate of overuse of the jury system...
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:03 PM
Apr 2015

And I think too many things get alerted for wrong reasons, but, if you see something that is offensive, alert on it.

Cha

(297,348 posts)
97. I never alert unless it's too obviously a troll seeped through from Discussionist or some such place
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:19 AM
Apr 2015

Jackpine Radical

(45,274 posts)
138. Me neither.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:02 PM
Apr 2015

The best response to offensive posting is corrective replies.

I doubt I have alerted 5 times, and only for FLAGRANT stuff that had no redeeming virtues.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
199. I don't alert either Cha.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 10:36 PM
Apr 2015

The few times I have, MIRT took care of them before the alert was complete.

MIRT rocks~

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,757 posts)
7. Thank you for writing this.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:06 PM
Apr 2015

The anonymity of the Internet makes it too easy to be nasty without any repercussions. There is always a human at the other end. If, in a conversation about personal rather than political matters you suspect the person might not be truthful, all you have to do is - nothing. Leave the thread, or if you suspect a troll, notify MIRT. People who are having problems are not always rational. Don't pick on them.

"Be kind whenever it is possible. It is always possible." - The Dalai Lama

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
10. What you said, exactly TVO.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:10 PM
Apr 2015

" all you have to do is leave the thread"

and this~

"Be kind whenever it is possible. It is always possible." - The Dalai Lama

Thank you.

2naSalit

(86,660 posts)
69. Aho.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:55 AM
Apr 2015

Thank you both, while I have you right here. I think I missed something which I am thankful to have missed earlier.

You are both wise and compassionate, thank you for reminding us that we all have that ability and that we should all choose to be less abrasive with each other.

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
48. I love cross-thread references
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 11:58 PM
Apr 2015

And anybody can google phone cops and get arrested...um, I mean get the scoop on the term. Yeah, that's the ticket!

marym625

(17,997 posts)
53. I saw your reply here right after conversing with you on the other
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:05 AM
Apr 2015

Just seemed right.

Yeah, the scoop. Just the scoop!

(Move over please)

femmocrat

(28,394 posts)
9. Thank you for posting this, sheshe.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:08 PM
Apr 2015

I don't understand the meanness at times either. I saw one recently where a spelling fuss-budget jumped all over someone who might have been using English as their second language. Why??? We don't have "editors" here --- why not just let it go!

Some people are just too quick to make assumptions or feel superior, or whatever. The secretary where I used to work had a sign near her desk: "Because nice matters". I just try to keep that in mind when replying to fellow DUers, or I use the "trash this thread" or "ignore" buttons.

Peace!

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
14. Better said than I was able to enunciate earlier on another thread. Very clear. BTW, I went to my
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:17 PM
Apr 2015
son's chapel today and when the prayer requests came around, your first name and losses were read and they all prayed for you.

FWIW, you were being thought of with love and caring by a very tiny, but very special group of people. Each of them value respect and kindness above all other things, and live lives of caring for others, today.

They know that they cannot survive without help and compassion. It is a visceral, essential part of their very existence.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
19. I am deeply touched freshwest.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:21 PM
Apr 2015

Your small group, in my own way, I bless them all.

Okay, you made me cry.

Thank you.

TexasTowelie

(112,252 posts)
17. K&R
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:19 PM
Apr 2015

I saw a lot of ugliness recently that reminds me of Freeperville or the Cave. Some of the comments that I received on one thread nearly caused me to stop posting on DU. One year ago I attempted suicide and the exchange I experienced sent me into a dark place that made me consider whether I made any progress since that time.

I am aware that there are many DU members that have had or currently are experiencing issues with mental illness and depression. DU might be one of the few social outlets that are available.

Let's show support and compassion because I don't want DU to become FU.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
23. Take care of you TT.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:26 PM
Apr 2015

I mean that Talk to me if you want, I lost my brother to suicide 14 years ago. I had nightmares for a year.

Please take care of you.

marym625

(17,997 posts)
40. I love you
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 11:26 PM
Apr 2015

I know that word is thrown around easily. I know we have never met. But I always know you are a caring, well informed, beautiful person. And that's what I love. And so do many others.

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
18. I learned something...
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:19 PM
Apr 2015

...when I saw someone posting without any caps. Actually I learned only later, when I saw the explanation, that that poster experiences a lot of hand pain in typing, especially in stretching to hit the caps key...

drray23

(7,634 posts)
21. I suspect this happens because of the medium
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:22 PM
Apr 2015

Setting aside people being purposely mean because they are losing their argument or just bitter, there is also quite a bit of information lost when you communicate electronically. Body language cues, context and all that are lost. I had this happening before at work as well.

You send an email that you think is perfectly innocuous and the recipient gets all bend out of shape. You meet in person and clear the misunderstanding in a minute. Since we can not do the later on DU, it is good advice to carefully re-read what one types before hitting "Post my reply!".



 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
22. Good post.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:22 PM
Apr 2015

Bullying is alive and well at DU.

We see it all the time here in the lovely milieu of GD.

GD should just be called fight club.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
30. cwydro...
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:40 PM
Apr 2015

Good to see you!

Yes, DU has it's bullies. Lol~ a jury member called me one of the worst bullies on DU. Called me a B***h as well. Gotta love DU when the bullies call everyone else a bully while they hide behind the anonymity of our jury system. They are so brave!

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
80. I got a hide on a troll's thread for calling him "preposterous," lol
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:21 AM
Apr 2015

He's still here (even posted in THIS thread) and I'm locked out of that thread. It's all good, though. It all evens out in the end.

CaliforniaPeggy

(149,645 posts)
26. Those are very good words, my dear sheshe...
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:32 PM
Apr 2015

It IS always possible to be nice.

And we ARE a family, a huge cyber family, where we talk and laugh together, or cry.....

I've seen the support and the anger, both, and I'd rather have the support. We all would, I'm sure.

Thank you.

Chathamization

(1,638 posts)
27. Thanks. Your post made me think of this thread
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:34 PM
Apr 2015
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026173905

Sometimes you'll get a ton of unpleasant responses from people. I guess the flip side is you sometimes just need to shrug it off and do something else for a bit.

Marie Marie

(9,999 posts)
29. Well said sheshe.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 10:36 PM
Apr 2015

I spend so much time here because I do consider this "my community". When things get nasty, I scroll on by - not interested in any rudeness or excessive in-fighting. We may disagree and that is fine but civility and respect for others and their opinions should be the unspoken rule of law. The vast majority of DU-ers get this and I do not allow those that don't to ruin my experience here.

marlakay

(11,479 posts)
34. It's just too easy to give a quick answer
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 11:08 PM
Apr 2015

and if people are in a bad mood or read something into a post that isn't there, they respond wrong.

It's all over the net like that. I try to do what you say, remember that we are all humans with emotions. Many don't seem to care and those are the very ones who need to read this the most.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
36. There is a monster thread here I am avoiding. The temptation to open it and read it is strong.
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 11:12 PM
Apr 2015

And I hope the poster on the other end got the help they needed. I just don't want to look at all the kicking a person when they are down. Done it. It's shitty and you feel shitty but won't admit it later on.

And it takes a little bit of your soul with it, bit by bit. Into this mindless void called cyberspace.



sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
58. Part of my reference was to an Op I read.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:25 AM
Apr 2015

Not entirely though. Lately DU feels the need to bully and slash and trash posters here. Yes, on some threads that people are hurting. Most are caring and compassionate, others just can't pass the thread by and say nothing. They need to dig into the wound and twist the knife.

Sadly, it does not stop there. Feel good threads are not exempt. There are some here that just want to take a little bit of good, a small happiness and take their big foot and grind it into the ground till it is dust. Trample it, piss on it and set it on fire. Trust me I know, I got a hide on my thread. They hurt me, they did not care. That is part of what I am saying here. DU is better than this. DUers can DU better than that.

Thanks Rex.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
56. You just made my day! Thank you!
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:18 AM
Apr 2015

Lol~ That is progress.



This is why I have no one on ignore, Dragonfli.


marym625

(17,997 posts)
45. Good, needed post
Sun Apr 5, 2015, 11:50 PM
Apr 2015

Thank you for saying it.

There is a big difference between someone going after someone in a heated discussion and someone going to a post with the intention of being nasty and vile. It's what my grandmother would say is, calling you up to call you down. Frankly, and obviously, I won't tolerate it and I won't hold back. When someone messes with someone for the sole purpose of messing with them, that's just mean. And to admit to following someone and alerting because they're annoyed! Just abhorrent behavior on a site that is meant to bring camaraderie.

I do have to wonder if it would happen less often if people used their real name. I'm not saying they should. I just wonder.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
200. Thank you mary.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 10:41 PM
Apr 2015
There is a big difference between someone going after someone in a heated discussion and someone going to a post with the intention of being nasty and vile. It's what my grandmother would say is, calling you up to call you down. Frankly, and obviously, I won't tolerate it and I won't hold back. When someone messes with someone for the sole purpose of messing with them, that's just mean.
 

villager

(26,001 posts)
49. Well said! The degree of cruel snark here has always been perplexing...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:02 AM
Apr 2015

You'd think that kindness would be the more revolutionary act befitting an "underground," eh...

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
60. My dad was all White Sox until we moved from Chicago to L.A.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:36 AM
Apr 2015

When the Dodgers came, guess who we rooted for?

But I still remember the thrill of seeing the lights flash at Commiskey from my grandparents' stoop when the Sox scored when I was a kid.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
65. and I still remember seeing Phil Neikro pitch and Hank Aaron hitting a homerun when I was a kid.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:49 AM
Apr 2015

I have watched the Braves move from Fulton County Stadium to Turner Field and, now to SunTrust Park in Cobb County.

SunTrust Park is a baseball park under construction that will serve as the future home of Atlanta Braves of Major League Baseball (MLB), located in the Cumberland area of Cobb County, Georgia, northwest of Atlanta. Instead of renovating Turner Field, their current ballpark, the Braves announced on November 11, 2013, that they would leave after 2016, when their lease ends, for a new stadium to be built in Cobb County, north of Atlanta.

more at link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SunTrust_Park

*sigh* good times. good memories.

pinboy3niner

(53,339 posts)
73. I saw some Dodgers games as a kid...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:06 AM
Apr 2015

...but the last time I was at Chavez Ravine was in '65 as a Valley boy in HS.

They had a Boys Day in Business and Government and I was Captain Commander of the LAPD Intelligence Division for a day, running around with the cop who held that job--and he took me to the Police Academy at Chavez for lunch.

The guy who had that job at the time was Daryl Gates, some years before he became Chief.

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
117. The only "trash talk"
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:25 AM
Apr 2015

I've seen coming from you is usually after incessant provocation on the part of other posters.

Usually they deserve it.

 

rhett o rick

(55,981 posts)
54. Great post. It is easy to forget that we really don't know the situation of those
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:16 AM
Apr 2015

on the other side of our keyboards. I enjoy very much a good debate. I really don't like the self-righteous bullying that goes on here sometimes. I have seen first hand, good, honest people get run out because they couldn't deal with the bullies here.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
67. Well Rhett!
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:52 AM
Apr 2015

Thank you so very much. I love a good debate as well. I will swear like a long shore man if I wish. I refuse to be bullied. I will speak my mind.

In the end, no one needs to be cruel to make their point. Thanks for getting that!

Thespian2

(2,741 posts)
55. With no sense of community,
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:18 AM
Apr 2015

what are we? Are we people who are concerned about our world, our county, our city, town, state? In the small community in which I live, people help everyone, even those they do not agree with and do not meet socially. They do it because it is the right thing to do...and they never brag about what they do. I am fortunate to live among them.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
61. There are people at the other end of the discussion itself, too
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:37 AM
Apr 2015

Doesn't seem to stop some DU'ers from advocating extrajudicial torture in prisons, includign rape.
Doesn't preclude some DU'ers from cheering for and justifying the murder of Arab children "just in case."
Doesn't seem to slow anyone down from cheering about the suffering of Russian poor to show what a big dick the president has
Didn't stop lots of people for howling for blood and fire in Syria in 2013
Hasn't slowed down anyone from working hard to justify and support transphobia, sexism, and racial abuse.

Bottom line is, yes, there is a person at the other end of the keyboard. And a lot of those people are pretty fucking terrible.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
63. Well Scoot....
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:42 AM
Apr 2015

The political board is a fucking mess. Yet that was not the point of my Op. Not the point at all.

Whoosh! Went right over your head.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
68. No, it didn't go over my head, I simply have a different opinion than you do
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:52 AM
Apr 2015

But thanks for the condescension. I guess you don't fully agree with you, either

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
71. I thank you so very much for responding to the Op.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:59 AM
Apr 2015

Oh, wait. You didn't. No Scoot, don't do your derailment thing as so many do. Respond to the Op or trash my thread, don't try your cute stuff with me. Not in the mood.

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
72. My response is that i don't feel that everyone deserves "nice treatment"
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:03 AM
Apr 2015

Now it's not a total disagreement. "Be excellent to one another" should be default. But then someone advocates rape or something, and the gloves ought to come off, is what I'm saying. Follow?

I further feel that people who advocate gunning down teenagers of the "wrong race," or other such loathsome positions, are a much bigger problem in our community than the people who call them on it.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
75. Hey Scoot.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:10 AM
Apr 2015

Follow?

I said


I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.


Yes. Whoosh, it went way over your head!

Way over!

 

Scootaloo

(25,699 posts)
84. I'm not talking politics either
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:34 AM
Apr 2015

My point is that there are people beyond the keyboard, as well. I don't believe that calling for rape or murder is politics. And frankly I'm much less worried about the feelings of someone typing that shit on a keyboard, than I am worried about their family.

varying mileages, I guess.

Maybe you ought to actually address the people who are causing the problem you see? I think it might be more effective with addressing the problem than this thread will be

Violet_Crumble

(35,961 posts)
104. Scoot, I sense a communication breakdown....
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 06:50 AM
Apr 2015

I get totally what yr saying. Alas, I fear there's a communication problem here, so let me handle it...

There's always someone at the end of the keyboard.



Sometimes crap stuff happens to them and it sucks



We send them hugs and listen to them



Except if it's some fuckwit who's all for bombing the shit out of assorted Arabs and Iranians and then they turn up and start a thread about how someone keyed their car and then returned the next day and stole all the tyres off it. HA! Karma!



But we should send them hugs and listen to them too because they're someone at the end of a keyboard and stuff.



Lots more pics of smiley happy things tra la la...






He needs a panda hug



Enough! Everyone needs to be nice to each other! Everyone needs to be watching this song whenever they post and there won't be any nasty posts ever!







Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
100. I agree. i think anyone who advocates rape or race-based teenager murders, doesnt deserve our respect
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:38 AM
Apr 2015

But I think if you are seriously trying to characterize those fucked up viewpoints as representantive of anything remotely like a significant portion of opinion on DU, you're off base.

In fact, I highly doubt that anyone who "advocates gunning down teenagers of the wrong race" is part of the community long enough to be a "bigger problem", because MIRT bans them.

If you have links to some big group of long time DU members doing that, I'll gladly concede I'm wrong, here.

 

rhett o rick

(55,981 posts)
130. It's understandible that you might want to punish those that you think
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:06 AM
Apr 2015

advocate rape or other horrible things. And you might have very good judgement. And if you want to respond to those posters in a way that might convince them they are wrong fine, but too often, people believe that they are on the side of goodness that that justifies bad behavior on their part. The justification that all bullies use is "they deserved it." I have seen decent people here get mislabeled as one kind of "apologist" or another, and subsequently bullied.

We have hosts, juries and Admins here to handle posters that are inappropriate. There is no reason for posters to decide that they have the right to bully other posters.

If you think that person on the other end of the line is a bad person, work within the system.

"Self-righteousness is the devil's masterpiece to make us think well of ourselves." Thomas Adams

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
81. Ah-- don't let me interrupt.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:28 AM
Apr 2015

You were saying something about treating others politely, I believe.

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
86. This is a discussion board.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:43 AM
Apr 2015

I'm discussing the topic-- or specifically, a sidebar in the conversation. This is not 'derailing' anything.

And I haven't insulted you once, though you've made several not-so-kind insinuations yourself.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
87. ...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:45 AM
Apr 2015
There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.

Who are we?

Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?

I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.

DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
90. ...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:59 AM
Apr 2015

There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.

Who are we?

Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?

I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.

DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
91. Since reading your OP, I've seen another post on this forum that, I think...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 02:12 AM
Apr 2015

...might put this OP in context. If that's the case, that's great.

Still- you might want to clue others into that fact next time before insulting them for not getting your point. Picking fights in your own thread about being kind and thoughtful looks rather silly.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
92. The point of my Op that eludes you...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 02:19 AM
Apr 2015
There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.

I picked a fight here? No. I did not.

marym625

(17,997 posts)
110. Thought maybe you could use this
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:45 AM
Apr 2015

So you don't have to keep repeating yourself

Cool Hand Luke (1967) - The Captain's speech " Wh…:




But then probably someone would think you're advocating for the Captain.

Strife - Sometimes It Feels Like You Just Can't W…:

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
88. ...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:47 AM
Apr 2015
There is a living breathing human being at the other end of your keyboard.
Think about that for a moment, just think. Before you hit reply, take a deep breath. I saw some posts today that gave me pause. There is no need to be cruel to another member here. Take a moment, listen to what they say, just listen and think who they might be.

Who are we?

Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?

I am not talking politics here, we have our rowdy discussions and disagreements. I am talking about taking a pass on an Op where someone is hurting if you feel the need to only be hurtful and cruel.

DU is a cyber community, not real life. Yet we are a family of sorts, dysfunctional, oh yes we are. Yet we do rally with support and compassion. I know, I have been a recipient of that support.

pipi_k

(21,020 posts)
123. So much for "being nice"
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 10:16 AM
Apr 2015

to people.

I consider the phrase, "Whoosh! Went right over your head" to be somewhat snotty.

As if the other person is too...stupid...to understand what you meant.


Know what would have been a nicer reply?

Just the first paragraph without the gratuitous and somewhat demeaning reference to something going right over someone's head.


sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
82. Is it Bravo or Brava
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:30 AM
Apr 2015

for letting a post fly so far over your head?

You have a passion for doing what my Op refers to. Lol~Why is it that you seek me out to take a dump on me?

 

Marr

(20,317 posts)
85. Your point didn't go over my head at all.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:34 AM
Apr 2015

It's just a very basic and, if you'll forgive me, rather empty sentiment that does little but act as a cue for applause.

I felt that Scootaloo's comment was very much worthwhile. There is a good reason to be rude sometimes. Some positions deserve scorn, and should not be accommodated with polite consideration.

LeftishBrit

(41,208 posts)
183. I don't think the OP refers to people being tough or angry in political debate
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 03:17 AM
Apr 2015

I think it's referring to much more personal hurtfulness: at the milder end, ridiculing people's posts for grammatical errors; at the more extreme end, sneering at them over misfortunes, poverty, illness, etc. in their personal lives.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
191. "Sneering" and mocking other members is openly promoted on DU.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 01:28 PM
Apr 2015

So, not sure why you are trying to finesse an accepted DU practice which is well-known to almost everyone (except you and, perhaps, 5 other people).

BrotherIvan

(9,126 posts)
62. Good post
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:39 AM
Apr 2015

I think if we were talking in real life, the agreements would be much more civil. It's good to be reminded. Thanks to you and happy Spring.

chillfactor

(7,577 posts)
78. Thank you for your post....
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:16 AM
Apr 2015

some of the posts I see here are truly disgusting..how some DUers can be so nasty to others is way beyond me...

NBachers

(17,125 posts)
95. I was in a thread earlier today- I knew where the pain was coming from, and I left it alone
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:14 AM
Apr 2015

There've been times when some shithead has goaded me into a smackdown response, and they deserved it. But, usually, I think it's better just to move on . . . I've never understood those who need to jump in with muddy boots and leave dirty footprints behind for everyone to step over.

You're one of the DU'ers that contributes a lot of positive energy and imagery here, sheshe. Don't let anyone's muddy boots leave tracks in your life.

Cha

(297,348 posts)
96. Brilliant post, she.. Mahalo! the gratuitiously insulting posts because others don't agree with
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:18 AM
Apr 2015

your opinion is what comes to my mind. But, it really says everything about the one who's doing the insulting and nothing about their target.

I try to stay off of threads that are knock down drag outs because I really do have better things to do with my time on the internet.

Excellent reminder about the real live beings at the other end of the keyboards.

Major Hogwash

(17,656 posts)
156. Speaking of bullying, Idaho's legislature is passing an "anti-bullying" law this week.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:48 PM
Apr 2015
A Republican-controlled legislature.
The legislature is 2/3rds Republicans, so they have a huge majority in both houses of the legislature.

Their bill is expected to be signed by the Republican Governor of the state of Idaho.

Real lives have been affected by bullying on the internet.
Many people have been bullied to the point of suicide!!!

Cha

(297,348 posts)
177. Good on the Republicon legislature and the Repub Gov, Major! It's very important for
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:01 PM
Apr 2015

everyone to be made aware of the bullying and for IT to STOP!

I have seen it here more than once.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
99. Some people take DU way too fucking seriously, for starts.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:28 AM
Apr 2015

Last edited Mon Apr 6, 2015, 07:24 AM - Edit history (1)

I've seen ad hominem nastiness thrown at folks some others have put on their "enemies" list, that I wouldnt wish upon anyone.

Low, vile, totally uncalled for shit.

I like to think I dont go there. I really try to make it about the underlying issues and not personal, but I am sure I have fallen short of that myself at times.

Good post, good reminder, particularly since the nastiness quotient is almost certain to rise with primary season.

marym625

(17,997 posts)
103. I hope you saw what you caused to happen
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 06:06 AM
Apr 2015

Because it is a really good thing. Something that is not easy for most people to do. .

Good for both of you.

Skidmore

(37,364 posts)
105. For sure.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 06:57 AM
Apr 2015

It's a point that needs to be made more frequently too. Thanks for putting it out there.

Counting 10 and thinking about what sort of blowback you are prepared to deal with is a good starting point. We are better than what we present sometimes and what is sometimes tolerated as well.

You, my dear sister, always have my support.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
107. Looking at screen names in this thread, plenty of bullies here who
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:08 AM
Apr 2015

can dish out abuse, and then - when they get contradicted - claim they are being abused.

So in theory, I agree with the opening post, but in practice here on DU, it's irrelevant.

allan01

(1,950 posts)
108. the meanness happens in real life too
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:13 AM
Apr 2015
almost left this board because of it , and left a board because of it. they only had 2 moderators .

brer cat

(24,579 posts)
111. I have been away from DU
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:56 AM
Apr 2015

except for brief periods recently so I am not aware of which thread prompted this, but we needed this in general. You always come through, sheshe, and this is very well stated. Thanks for all that you do to keep this community and family civil and respectful.

 

randome

(34,845 posts)
113. Prove it.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:12 AM
Apr 2015

Kidding, of course.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]"If you're bored then you're boring." -Harvey Danger[/center][/font][hr]

Dont call me Shirley

(10,998 posts)
114. Thanks for posting, sheshe.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:14 AM
Apr 2015

When it comes to alternative medicine or beliefs in other things like anti-gmo, the bullies and naysayers pile it on thick and heavy. They mock, smear, degrade, make-crazy, ridicule, condescend and provoke. It becomes very difficult to defend ones position thoughtfully while being dragged into a viper pit of poison by a gang of bullies. The pile-ons are unfair and like a goon squad.

Don't allow yourselves to get drawn into the viper pit. Take the high road.









stillwaiting

(3,795 posts)
116. This is a very good and important post.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:18 AM
Apr 2015

I wish the mocking, ridiculing, and marginalizing that goes on around here all too often would come to an end.

It makes DU a much nastier place than it needs to be.

 

WilliamPitt

(58,179 posts)
119. Hm.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:27 AM
Apr 2015

Interesting, considering the serial insults you've shoveled my way because you don't agree with my opinion of the president. I'm a living, breathing human being, too.

Practice what you preach. Then we'll talk about how you think people should behave.

 

JTFrog

(14,274 posts)
136. Oh please.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:50 AM
Apr 2015

For calling President Obama a "piece of shit used car salesman"?

It's a long time DU tradition to shovel insults at people who say incredibly hateful things about Democratic Presidents. You willfully joined their ranks. You should just own it.





 

JTFrog

(14,274 posts)
142. Is this the first Democratic President in history?
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:30 PM
Apr 2015

IIRC, DU took pretty good aim at those that would come in and talk shit about Clinton, Carter, Kennedy, FDR, etc. What makes Obama any different?



cui bono

(19,926 posts)
162. Okay, I took what you said to mean sitting Dem Presidents. I stand corrected.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 07:19 PM
Apr 2015

I still think there is no reason to not criticize someone just because they are a Dem. That makes us no better than non-thinking teabaggers and Bushies - "you're either with us or against us".

 

JTFrog

(14,274 posts)
187. Constructive criticism is one thing...
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 05:48 AM
Apr 2015

"piece of shit used car salesman" is quite another.

Just sayin....

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
179. Okay William....
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:54 PM
Apr 2015

You made your op political by calling the President as POS used car salesman and doubled down when others kindly offered advice on both your ops. Not what my op was talking about, yet you knew that.

Here, feel free to jump on the political ops, that is where we should be focused.

Yet people just need to pass by a post from a man that is terminally ill, there is no need for an ugly post there. Other posts come to mind, feel good posts there is always someone that feels the need to jump on and disrupt, not talking about you here, yet I will leave it a that.

A fight about politics is one thing here and yes it can get ugly, yet, there is a time and a place for everything.

 

ChisolmTrailDem

(9,463 posts)
137. Great post. But I haven't been around for a couple of days...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:05 PM
Apr 2015

...I sense this has something to do with another thread. Could someone please link to it so I can gain a little more context.

Thank you.

cui bono

(19,926 posts)
141. she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:28 PM
Apr 2015

I see a lot of people in complete agreement on this thread who are some of the rudest posters I've seen on here. A lot of them throw out a snarky line that has nothing to do with an issue and then follow it up with that infamous smiley. Perhaps you should cross post this in a particular group that is on DU. You know the one I mean. Because seriously, members of that group are among the most rude and dismissive people I've ever encountered on here, particularly because they aren't even making a point, they're just posting empty retorts. At least if someone is rude and making a point there is some sort of discussion of the issues going on.

I'm really not trying to start anything here, but we all know members of that group are your buddies, so I hope you mean to direct this at them as well, and even clarify that to be sure they understand, because when someone that is a vocal member of a clique here on DU expresses a sentiment such as this without acknowledging one's own participation or that of their clique it comes off as just a lecture to those others with whom you have disagreements. And due to that I cannot in good faith rec this thread.

Major Nikon

(36,827 posts)
144. Results...
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:46 PM
Apr 2015

On Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:37 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6466057

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Rude and insulting from beginning to end. Following this poster's logic, it's okay to be rude and snotty as long as you're making a point. The only point to this post is camouflaging a condescending, exaggerated call out. Yuck.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:46 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: If the alerter was insulted that speaks far more about the alerter than it does the alertee
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: 2nd paragraph is dicey but seems like an honest attempt at discussion.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Nothing out of line in that post. I suspect the alerter is uncomfortable with the post for personal reasons... but would likely benefit from looking in the mirror.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: cui bono speaks the truth
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

 

KittyWampus

(55,894 posts)
173. I was juror #3, your post was a call out no matter how you try to dress it up
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 09:28 PM
Apr 2015

but the alerter should have confronted you on it in the thread not via alert.

This is a discussion forum not an alert on someone who says something you don't like forum.

You talking about cliques though. And called ME rude. LOL

There's stuff I like about DU but the hypocrisy and lack of self awareness is annoying.

cui bono

(19,926 posts)
180. The hypocrisy is exactly what my post was about.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 01:26 AM
Apr 2015

I don't see how the OP is anything more than a lecture to those that the OP disagrees with, especially when you see the responses the OP has made in this very thread. Responses that absolutely do not do what the OP called for in the OP.

The OP was a sort of call out of its own and I was responding to it. It would have been difficult to make my point without stating what I did.

And as you saw, even if I have negative impressions of someone or if I disagree with them, I do not let that cloud my judgment when it comes to DU jury duty, or defending/criticizing someone. I see you did the same and I respect you for that.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
175. FYI.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 10:17 PM
Apr 2015

It was not me, I don't alert. One or 2 times on trolls that MIRT banned before I even finished the process.

Cui, why not just name the group? You are talking about the BOG. We are a group, what you don't get about a group over a forum is beyond me. Talk to skinner if you do not like or wish to follow the rules. I have no clue who banned you or what you may have said. Obviously it is a huge issue for you, you have mentioned it over and over. Would you like me to reinstate you? I will. I have done it more than once. Send me a PM. Yet if you wish to post you need to stick to the rules. There is plenty of room in GD for you to trash the President.

I am sure you would follow the rules of groups like African American, HoF, Elizabeth Warren, Hillary, Environment and Change, correct? You would surely respect their Mission statements, correct?

Ah, the alert is hide worthy yet your call out on me is not.

The alerter clearly must have personal bias involved.
And you do not?

FYI....I have blocked people, not banned, a few times, always with a warning and a request that they delete.

cui bono

(19,926 posts)
181. No sheshe, my post was not based on personal bias. I know you have noticed that I rec your threads.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 01:41 AM
Apr 2015

As to me I don't let my thoughts about another DUer get in the way of trying to be fair about my assessment of their posts and about my behavior on a jury.

I agree with you on a lot of social issues. You are one who is able to put aside the differences when it comes to other subjects and I appreciate that.

However, your OP is simply a condescending lecture when you don't admit that you yourself need to keep it in mind. It is simply finger wagging at others, and as I mentioned in my other post, when the people from your clique applaud it and don't even realize that it applies to them more than a lot of other DUers, and when those are the people that you "hang out" with and agree with and "high five" all the time, it's fair game for someone to mention that, so I did.

And you have to admit, it's pretty ironic that in this very thread you posted some rude replies to people. If I'm going to be lectured by someone I certainly expect it to be by someone who practices what they preach when they make no mention of ever slipping up themselves, or even mention that hey, we all do it. But there was no hint of that at all in the OP.

As to the BOG. This has nothing to do with that other than the people who I find to be the rudest on DU post in there often and are members of that group. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was banned for some meaningless comment with no warning. I describe that here because you brought it up. Well, perhaps that does have something to do with it in that it was yet another example of the rudeness of which I speak.

If you feel my post was a call out then so be it. Your OP was pretty much one and I responded to it. As I said, you could have worded your OP differently so that it wasn't a lecture, so that it included everybody on DU, but you didn't. Because of that I spoke to that point. If all you want is praise and recs then you shouldn't post on a message board, or you should just post in the BOG. But as this is a message board I am posting my opinion of the OP that you posted which was your opinion. That is a discussion and that's why we're here.

sheshe2

(83,801 posts)
182. I feel sad for you that you believe my Op to be a call out.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 02:59 AM
Apr 2015

A member with a terminal illness was called out that day. Sad that DU is so uncaring. My Op was about a little compassion to the person some were responding to. To be aware of that person at the end of your keyboard.

I said.

Who are we?

Have we had a dear loss in our life and are mourning? Have we just come from the doctor to find they just received a death sentence, a terminal disease? Do we need surgery to save our lives with a 50/50 chance of survival. Is our child ill? Maybe we lost our job and are terrified at the future. We lost our benefits and have no clue what to do and how we might survive. Some here, many here have suffered from spousal abuse, do you know them? So much more. Have you been there? Have you walked in their shoes? Seen it through their eyes?


Yet you

However, your OP is simply a condescending lecture when you don't admit that you yourself need to keep it in mind. It is simply finger wagging at others, and as I mentioned in my other post, when the people from your clique applaud it and don't even realize that it applies to them more than a lot of other DUers, and when those are the people that you "hang out" with and agree with and "high five" all the time, it's fair game for someone to mention that, so I did.

Go for it cui, talk about finger wagging from my supposed clique, are you talking about those that support the same things I do, are you grouping everyone on this board that supports this President as BOGers? Truly? We are well aware that you all hate us. We know you all do not support this President. You have made that clear.

As I stated before, you have a huge issue with the BOG. I already stated that I would unblock you if you PM me, yet you continue to attack.

And

And you have to admit, it's pretty ironic that in this very thread you posted some rude replies to people. If I'm going to be lectured by someone I certainly expect it to be by someone who practices what they preach when they make no mention of ever slipping up themselves, or even mention that hey, we all do it. But there was no hint of that at all in the OP.


You are right, I responded to what was tossed my way. This thread stopped being about an ounce of compassion for others a long time ago.

This is just another that ridiculed me and what I post here, you probably found it funny.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026464088#post104

I could tell you a story cui....you wouldn't believe it. You are set in your ways.

Last

As to the BOG. This has nothing to do with that other than the people who I find to be the rudest on DU post in there often and are members of that group.

That is great cui. I already have that label, I do thank you very much. A jury member, hiding anonymously, slyly, cruelly called me the worst bully on DU. The worst. Do you agree with that? Then they went on to call me out on my bitchiness. Do you agree with that? I was called a bitch by a jury member. We sure as hell can DU better than that.

cui bono

(19,926 posts)
193. sheshe... your OP doesn't mention anything about being mean to a critically ill member so I did not
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 07:22 PM
Apr 2015

know that you were referring to something specific. In that case I would just point it out in the thread directly to the people who are being mean.

You are absolutely wrong if you think I hate anyone. What I 'hate' is attitude and empty smarmy posts that are nothing more than name calling and insults.

You are absolutely wrong to say I don't support the president. (not everything is about him) I don't support a lot of his actions and policies. I wish we had a liberal president as I am a liberal, so of course I'm not happy with a self-described moderate Republican. What I don't support is the people who attempt to disallow any criticism of the president and proceed to call those who criticize his policies and actions with smarmy posts that are only insults with smileys and have no content about policy in them. We try to discuss policy and get rude name calling in return. You know it happens. You know who does it.

And no, I'm not grouping everyone who supports the president as a BOGGER. That would be silly. I evaluate people based on their posts just as in real life I evaluate people based on what they say and do. And anything I've said was based on the posts and actions of the posters themselves. Most of them do belong to a certain group, but not all who belong to that group behave that way.

I'm sorry anyone called you a bitch. I didn't do it though, so don't hold it against me. I'm not sure why you brought that up and then proceeded to ask me if I agree with that. Clearly I don't agree with that, you should have gathered that from my previous post. I do not let my feelings about others' posts/positions affect my jury duty behavior, I told you that already. Did you think it was me who did that???

As to the post you linked to, I didn't even understand that post, much less had any inkling that it referred to you in any way, why would I have? Why do you think I "probably found it funny"? Really sheshe, you are making baseless, ill-advised and insulting accusations about me right now on a personal level in your very thread asking people to be nice. And you dismiss your rudeness to others in this thread with a casual oh well, that's how the thread went, as if your reaction is beyond your control. Surely you can see how that looks.

Honestly, you shouldn't post an OP like this if you don't practice what you preach. Or if you do you should make a point that it's directed at everyone and that you include yourself or something. Or maybe you do believe that it's only necessary to be nice to terminally ill people? I don't quite know what to make of it.

As I already stated originally, when you post like that it just comes across as a lecture. And it's ironic that some of the people on here cheering the OP are the ones who need to heed it the most.

 

LittleBlue

(10,362 posts)
147. Your post was alerted on
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:53 PM
Apr 2015
AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service
On Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:37 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

she, I agree with the sentiment of your OP, however...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=6466057

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Rude and insulting from beginning to end. Following this poster's logic, it's okay to be rude and snotty as long as you're making a point. The only point to this post is camouflaging a condescending, exaggerated call out. Yuck.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Mon Apr 6, 2015, 12:46 PM, and the Jury voted 0-7 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: If the alerter was insulted that speaks far more about the alerter than it does the alertee
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: 2nd paragraph is dicey but seems like an honest attempt at discussion.
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Nothing out of line in that post. I suspect the alerter is uncomfortable with the post for personal reasons... but would likely benefit from looking in the mirror.
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: cui bono speaks the truth
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

cui bono

(19,926 posts)
165. Thanks. The alerter clearly missed the point.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 07:27 PM
Apr 2015

Following logic does not lead to their conclusion what so ever.

Gormy Cuss

(30,884 posts)
145. Sometimes the living, breathing human being is acting badly.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 01:48 PM
Apr 2015

Unfortunately we can't see through the internet to understand more about the person's motivations. Maybe the person is in pain. Maybe the person is just having a bad day. Maybe the person likes to provoke conflict on the internet because the person is powerless in real life. Or maybe the person is a full time asshole.

I used to be very careful when engaging difficult people here back when moderation, for all its flaws, was pretty successful at keeping discussions civil. These days the typical DU jury views civility as over-rated.

A HERETIC I AM

(24,371 posts)
151. He must be really, really tiny.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 02:38 PM
Apr 2015

(Just a response to the title of the OP, nothing more. It is my sworn duty to inject humor as best I can wherever I can)

Major Hogwash

(17,656 posts)
153. Thank you, once again, sheshe2, for just being you.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 03:40 PM
Apr 2015

No wonder you have a fan club . . you're wonderful, thoughtful, kind, and informative.

Geez, I guess you must be . . *gulp* . . a liberal!

Number23

(24,544 posts)
157. Don't be mad. Be thankful that a handful ran, not walked, RAN to beautifully illustrate exactly
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 05:54 PM
Apr 2015

what you were referring to in your OP.

I wouldn't even sweat it. Send them a thank you for illustrating that even on a thread where you don't single out any group or individuals or even any particular positions, that there are some that just CAN'T STOP with the bullshit here. These "principled objectors" just did you a favor.

K&R

Major Hogwash

(17,656 posts)
170. You did the right thing.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:22 PM
Apr 2015

You started your thread asking for people to consider thinking before replying, and now you have over 200 recs for this thread.
Congratulations.

Now, let's talk about those selfies I asked you to send me . . .



tclambert

(11,087 posts)
160. There is not! I double-checked all my cables.
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 06:57 PM
Apr 2015

Real people, indeed. That's just another liberal hoax. I bet Al Gore is behind it, although he clearly isn't a real person, either.

BlancheSplanchnik

(20,219 posts)
169. rec #222
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:16 PM
Apr 2015

That seems pretty neat. I'm glad, because this is a post that exemplifies what I'd like to think is the Liberal, Progressive spirit.






guillaumeb

(42,641 posts)
171. if someone calls me
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 08:36 PM
Apr 2015

"a sack full of frog spawn." should I consider that an insult? I like eating frog legs, and French people ARE called frogs sometimes. Maybe it is a good thing.

I was in a discussion with another member who kept insisting that I was saying one thing. When I pointed out that I had not actually said that, the discussion degenerated to name calling on the part of the other poster.

If however, being called a sack of frog spawn is a good thing then I will thank the poster.

bearssoapbox

(1,408 posts)
178. Good thread sheshe2
Mon Apr 6, 2015, 11:16 PM
Apr 2015

I agree. It only takes a few moments to re-read what you've written.

Sometimes I'll go away for a few minutes before sending. I'm sometimes surprised at what I wrote either wasn't what I really meant, or that could have been said in a different way.

It only takes a couple of minutes and it may save someone from being hurt by a phrase or word said in haste or from a misunderstood idea.

You're one of the many on DU that make it like a family and enjoyable to come here.

Plus, I always learn something.

Thanks.

steve2470

(37,457 posts)
186. a good reminder for us all
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 03:53 AM
Apr 2015

It's all too easy, especially in the heat of argument/debate, to lose sight of what you said.

The real world is cruel enough to us all, without any trivial cruelties coming to us via internet. That's how I see it anyway.

Thank you.

Beacool

(30,250 posts)
192. On the internet people can be their nasty selves because it's anonymous.
Tue Apr 7, 2015, 01:57 PM
Apr 2015

It's depressing to read the level of cruelty of some people. It has even driven some of the victims of their viciousness to suicide. Have people always been so cruel and nasty or is this a new phenomenon?

I find it cowardly. As a rule I don't type anything I wouldn't say face to face to someone. Whether people agree with me or not, I stand with what I write. If I make an error, I try to admit to my mistake.

I don't think that I will ever accept of fully understand what drives some people to act in the way they do on the internet.

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