On Discrimination suffering: Sometimes being "ugly " is even worse than being a part of a minority.

[mylye2222]

You know what?

Of course it is an absolute need that minoeities has to be defended. Racism and hatred has to be fought forcefully.

But there is another kind of hatred that iq far from being enough dought.

I speak about the hatred concerning people considered "physically ugly".

I speak feom personnal experience.
When you are not really cute you are often trashed in life and online. Sometimes job opportunity close their door at your face because your " feathures doesnt show a good image on the firm". When you walk on the street you cant help but hear snearky comments regarding yoyr bpd/face defaults from various peopleof all ages.
It is an everyday suffering that leads you to lack confidence in yourself.
How can we still accept that people are cinstantly defined by their appearence.
The inner meaning of all of that is that in some way the ideology behind this is thay "uglys" are somewhat guilty of their body, unlike minority people who didnt choose their skin color or name at birth.

I think its time to consider uglys as discrimination voctims as well, on the same level with peomle suffering from race hatred. And to fight this way of ostracism and discrimination

[ret5hd]

1. And you haven't even touched on what the spelling/grammar/punctuation purists are gonna do to you.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

2. She/he is not a native English speaker.

From France, iirc.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

3. There are certainly plenty of studies that show that

'beautiful people' are given privileges not accorded to the less aesthetically pleasing, but I think you've got a really tough fight on your hands in terms of changing human nature. Judging things based on appearance is something we inherited before we even became human, it's way down there in the more animal parts of our brains.

[mylye2222]

5. You are right

Anyway dont you wonder why there is no one lobby defending those people?

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

7. I think it's in part because what qualifies someone as 'ugly' is so diverse.

As they say, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'. Groups that can point to a single, easily seen specific feature have a much easier time coalescing as a group, and seeing themselves as being 'together' in a fight against discrimination. Plus, as you point out in the OP, self-esteem issues come into play - people who worry about appearances tend to be always trying to appear 'better', or 'closer to the ideal'. They feel that it makes more sense to change who they are than to demand that they be accepted and treated equally just as they are. And from a logical standpoint, they're probably right. Changing human nature is going to be a fight that goes on long after they're dead.

If anything, the internet is currently probably more of a 'leveler' than anything that's come before, because you don't interact with most people based on looks when you're online. The words or thoughts are more important than whether or not the person saying them has big ears, a crooked nose, or whatever other "defects" of appearance they might have. (That might change again, though, if bandwidth increases lead people more towards video messaging.)

[mylye2222]

8. Well it depends on witch Internet platform you use.

On FB French pokitics page I come regulary insulted by far right wingers who looks my profile pic and answer me with shit like " youare so ugly you should better kill yourself." Forums are differents.

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

9. Sure, but that just tells you they've got no real political arguments.

They've reverted to childhood insults because they don't have the brainpower for anything more complex.

I like my avatar picture here on DU It's certainly more aesthetic than my own face.

[treestar]

13. Sure it could change

A lot of progress has been made on race and other things.

[still_one]

4. It is what the media want to project, "young and beautiful, good", otherwise "bad". Study after

study shows this to permeate into job hunting, and almost all elements. The problem is what is considered "ugly", and what isn't is all twisted. Appearance and superficial take the cake verses the kindness or goodness of the person. Values are really messed up

[treestar]

14. Let alone ability to do the job

I'd rather have an ugly surgeon who knows what he is doing than a good looking one who slid through on their looks

[BlueJazz]

6. Wanting a handsome spouse/partner is built into the human genome. It's up to ...

us to realize these "built in" biases are not (should not) be needed in a modern society. I understand your pain and can only try to combat that type of thinking. I do know this> We DUers care about you.

[eridani]

22. The xenophobia behind racism is built in too

I hope you don't think that means we should just give up trying to change.

[BlueJazz]

23. I've told people the same thing (about xenophobia). It seems to me that knowing how we're "built"..

...and being aware of our feelings can allow each person to over-ride their instincts and become the kind, loving human that makes the world easier to live in. In my personal life, I've found it's like learning to play an instrument. The more you practice actually changes your brain chemistry.

[Zorra]

10. Either wear it like armor, or allow the ignorant to crush you.

Being different is always the same.

[magical thyme]

11. studies have shown that even parents discriminate against their own children based on their looks

as the "ugly" child, I share your pain. the 'mean girls' in high school, whispering, giggling, and trying to set me up to look foolish. the 'mean girls' at work. left out of everything.

When other teens were 16, they were planning for their proms. My father, otoh, apologized to me for the first (and last) time in my life. He said, "I'm sorry. It's my fault your face is so ugly. Nobody is ever going to want to marry you, you're so ugly." And he walked away shaking his head and muttering, "I don't know what we're going to do about MT. Nobody is ever going to marry her, she's so ugly."

It was a kick in the gut, worse than all the kicks I've taken from my so-called peers. But yes, we're discriminated against in opportunities, pay, and life overall.

[mylye2222]

12. And the more we are left on the side ..

The more we loose confidence and self esteem....wich lead to even more ostracism.... and so on and so on...

It is a viscious neverending mined way...

[Marrah_G]

16. ~hugs you~

Nothing hurts worse then your parent verbalizing that sort of thing. I can relate. I hope you have been able to heal from it.

[Marrah_G]

15. Many people, especially young people act as if you have no right to be alive if you are ugly

ugly and/or fat. If you are a young woman it is even worse, because you have somehow committed the crime of not being sexually attractive to young men. Honestly, it gets easier as you get older and you are no longer looked at solely as a sexual being.

Just my own opinions from my own life experience.

Example: I was going to a gym when I was in my young 20s. I was overweight and was trying to get in shape. In the locker room I over heard two young, pretty women speaking in loud whispers while looking over at me. "If I ever look like that, please just shoot me because I don't want to live" I never went back.

It effects you deeply and the voices never really leave the back of your mind.

[Angel Martin]

17. i know women have it much tougher than men

the expectations are so much more difficult to achieve

the only encouragement i can offer is that as you get older, genetics matter less and what you do matters more

1) keep yourself in good physical shape
2) wear sunscreen every day (UV ages everything, including faces)
3) minimum booze and no drugs or cigarettes (also ages you)

i had an ex-girlfriend tell me once "you're no Brad Pitt" (and it's true)
but compared to people i went to school/university with i look lot better than i used to

[mylye2222]

18. Well I dont drink alcohool except on celebration day.

But cigarettes..... yes I do smoke
....

[Angel Martin]

20. cigarettes are a tough one

i found it very difficult to quit, but it's worth it !

[former9thward]

19. Chicago once had an "Ugly law"

which prohibited physically imperfect people from showing up in public in the city.

"No person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object or improper person to be allowed in or on the public ways or other public places in this city, or shall therein or thereon expose himself to public view, under a penalty of not less than one dollar nor more than fifty dollars for each offense."

It was eventually repealed. In 1974.

[treestar]

21. Jane Austen's novel Persuasion

Has a character who says something to the effect that "there is no personal defect which a pleasing manner will not overcome."

In Mansfield Park, there was a young man who was "plain" but his manner was so pleasing all the girls were wild for him.

I think there is less in it than we think. Good grooming and a pleasant air will win out over mere good looks. Being friendly and approachable will, too. When young, I had good looks but was shy and aloof and thus had few friends and no boyfriends. People far "uglier" had a lot more going on. In other words, don't let it get to you and make you feel bitter and angry, but be yourself and be pleasant and that's going to make a happier life than that which will be given to the people making fun of you.