Disturbed Man Tries to Get Into White House--WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)

[one_voice]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – A disturbed Canadian man wants to try to get into the White House, according to reports.

The man, who was born in Calgary before drifting to Texas, has been spotted in Washington, D.C. in recent years exhibiting erratic behavior, sources said.

In 2013, he gained entry to the United States Senate and was heard quoting incoherently from a children’s book before he was finally subdued.

More recently, he was heard ranting about a plan to dismantle large components of the federal government, such as the Internal Revenue Service and the nation’s health-care program.

Despite a record of such bizarre episodes and unhinged utterances, observers expressed little concern about his plans to get into the White House, calling them “delusional.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/disturbed-man-tries-to-get-into-white-house

[Spazito]

1. LOL!

Gotta love Borowitz!

[jwirr]

2. K&R

[Scurrilous]

3. ...

[Cali_Democrat]

4. hahahahaha. nt

[treestar]

5. lol

[randome]

6. I knew as soon as I saw the subject line with The Borowitz Report referenced. How appropriate.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Birds are territorial creatures.
The lyrics to the songbird's melodious trill go something like this:
"Stay out of my territory or I'll PECK YOUR GODDAMNED EYES OUT!"[/center][/font][hr]

[malaise]

7. Too freaking good

[Takket]

8. maybe the GOP is right, we do need an electric fence to keep Canadians out ;)

[Quasimodem]

30. More precisely, two electric fences are needed.

One controlled by the Americans to keep the Canadians out. Another controlled by the Canadians to keep the Americans out. And electronic jamming, so neither side has to listen to the other country's political posturing.

For years, American politics impacted upon Canadians, and only Canadian comedians impacted upon Americans; but now Canadian conservative politicians, too wacky to affect Canadian politics, are beginning to skew American politics, which is having a deleterious effect upon both countries.

[AwakeAtLast]

9. I think this might be his best one yet

[George II]

10. That's funny, but what isn't funny is that I knew exactly where this was going from the subject line

[A Simple Game]

11. The irony of Cruz becoming President would be we were watching the wrong border all this time. n/t

[MADem]

12. Kick n rec n Bingo! That was hilarious! nt

[Jackpine Radical]

13. The sad part is that it's all true.

Andy didn't even have to make anything up for this one.

[Major Hogwash]

14. Hmmm.

Cruz makes me sick to my stomach.

[underpants]

15. Hilarious

[meow2u3]

16. Many a truth is spoken in jest

In this case, satire is too close to reality.

[Kalidurga]

17. The GOP leadership is looking more and more like escapees

from institutional settings. Which is where many would be if they didn't have connections.

[Colorado Vince]

18. i knew before i clicked

But I durec it anyway!

[marym625]

19. He forgot about scaring little children

Good stuff!

[Liberal_in_LA]

20. lol

[freshwest]

21. This is almost not satire. The only error is about him being subdued and removed. His follower was:

Ted Cruz, just like Rand Paul, wanted the federal government to go into default, so that 'the righteous would get the wealth.' It's their goal. Cruz is the 'Anointed One,' you know...

[msanthrope]

22. I was worried it was Skinner/Sid. Okay...whew....nt

[freshwest]

23. No, that was only the lawn. Skinner took the kids to the Easter Egg Hunt... Or roll... Or whatever.

At least no bunnies were hurt.

[Paladin]

24. K&R.

[HuckleB]

25. K & R!

[oldandhappy]

26. Love it! We need this! Thank you.

[HoosierCowboy]

27. Ted's Campaign Theme song

[Fearless]

31. I assumed it would be the munsters theme

[BlancheSplanchnik]

28. Win!

Well, not for Ted Crudez......

[Spitfire of ATJ]

29. I expect Ted to adopt a redneck accent.

[undeterred]

32. I thought this was about Donald Trump.