Hey Rowdyboy, I Wanted to Tell You I Got Married

[DonRedwood]

I don't live a life of many regrets, but today I have one that really hurts.

A few years ago I wrote a beautiful little essay about my life with my partner. It was one of my first essays that hit the front page of DU. From that post I made some of my best DU friends. That is how I met Rowdyboy. He was a funny sweet guy who shared stories of the South with me. Gay life on the west coast is a whole different world than gay life in Mississippi.

Rowdyboy was my best buddy on here.

Last year I took a DU break while I stepped into a non-political ambassadorial roll. It didn't seem right to speak out of both sides of my mouth as a spokesperson for both Democrats and Republicans. So DU and my personal politics were put on hold while I did my thing.

It was an amazing year. I met the President. I stood next to Lindsey Graham, passed Diane Feinstein in the Capitol, looked down on the top of Rand Paul's head, met a Clinton and a Biden. I spoke on the mall in Washington and did stuff I never ever ever imagined I would do.

And in the middle of it all the laws changed and my partner became my husband. I got married.

And it was in the midst of this crazy year. We had no wedding, no reception, not even a party. We were alone for the event because we feared the courts would stop us again so there was no chance to plan. Just a fumbled text message that they overturned the law, meet me at the courthouse sort of thing.

And I wanted to write DU one of my heartwarming tales of the day, but time never allowed it. And then my year of service turned into two and I've tried to stop in and read on DU but have still kept my politics to myself out of respect.

So it is with terrible sadness that I realize that I don't get to tell Rowdyboy I'm a Mr. I know he would have stood up and hollered for me. I know he would have been so excited and happy for me. I know how much I would have loved hearing his reaction.

And to miss that I feel the deepest and saddest of regrets. I'll miss him and I missed telling him.

Hey Rowdy, I got married.

[greatauntoftriplets]

1. Congratulations!

I picture Rowdyboy smiling down on you.

[blm]

2. ((Don))

Such a loss.

[riderinthestorm]

3. Laughing, tearing up, smiling, terribly sad...

Oh what a post!

Congrats to you!

RIP Rowdy

[Agschmid]

4. Kick!

[MADem]

7. What you said... and rec ... nt

[cwydro]

5. Congratulations!

And for Rowdyboy

[panader0]

6. Well Don, I have missed your posts for a while. Now I know why. Congratulations!

I wasn't tight with rowdyboy but like all Duers, I mourn his passing. How did the top of Rand Paul's head look? Was there a hole?

[DonRedwood]

32. :0)

[peacebird]

8. Thrilled to hear! Congrats! I hope Rowdyboy also responds but even if not, kmow we are thrilled!

[William769]

87. Psst.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026340052

[peacebird]

89. Oh. My. I am so sorry to hear this. Hoping Rowdyboy is enjoying the afterlife...

:hugs:

[shenmue]

9. Aww man, who's chopping onions?

[babylonsister]

10. My heart!

You are blessed with your life and love, congrats! And Rowdyboy was one of a kind, so I am happy for you you got to 'meet' an amazing person. I did, too; I loved this guy.

[DonRedwood]

13. I knew I couldn't be the only one he had befriended.

Sigh

[babylonsister]

23. My last

communication with him here in a msg; he meant you, too.

Rowdyboy

Re: I love you. Just keep in touch, and

Mail Message
I'm not sure how to link to FB but my "real" name is Steve Germany. Think it may be https://www.facebook.com/steve.germany.7

Its stage 4 and "gone to the bone" so there's not much they can do. And thank you for caring-more than you can possibly know.

At least he knew.

[greatauntoftriplets]

26. Awwww, he looks as nice as he sounded.

Thanks for posting that.

[babylonsister]

33. I loved him and never met him.

How cool is that? And I got to tell him.

[greatauntoftriplets]

36. Very cool.

I had served recently with him as a main forum host until my term ended. He hosted as you would expect. Such a great loss.

[DonRedwood]

35. Big hug

[BainsBane]

11. Such a moving post

It brought me near tears, both because you deserved a more celebratory wedding without fear of legal repeal, and I too miss Rowdyboy. I didn't know him nearly as well as you did, but we occasionally exchanged PMs and chatted about Project Runway.

Congratulations on your marriage. I know he'd be very happy for you.

[DonRedwood]

18. I can talk project runway like nobody's business

I was sick and watched a week of back to back project runways--phillipinnes, Australia, Britain Canada and tried the Dutch version but couldn't get all the episodes.

Rowdy would be proud of the depths of my project runway knowledge!

[BainsBane]

21. I may take you up on that!

I don't have cable service anymore so will have to hunt down past seasons. I also haven't watched Top Chef in forever.

[DonRedwood]

24. They are all on you tube!

[BainsBane]

29. Really? I'll look into that.

I just realized something sad. The last time Rowdyboy PMed me was while I was flagged and I couldn't respond. He PMed to say something encouraging to me about what he thought were unfair hides. I was flagged for some time and couldn't respond. I had meant to write to him when I was again able, but I don't think I ever did. Now he's gone, and I can't. I didn't realize he was sick.

[DonRedwood]

60. Sorry :0(

Tell him now...on here. That's what I am doing.

[DonRedwood]

63. Canada are the best ones.

[madfloridian]

12. Hey, good for you.

One of my favorite posters. Maybe Rowdy knows.

[11 Bravo]

14. I've been here for 13 years, and I can recall few ...

if any more captivating posts. Congratulations to you and your husband, and know that Rowdyboy is somewhere lifting a toast to both of you.
But in his stead, this old, straight, geezer is hollering for you right now!

[DonRedwood]

37. Thanks for the holler!

[malaise]

15. Lovely post

Congrats.

[DonRedwood]

19. Hey malaise

Long time no see

[malaise]

22. Back at you

Now we need to hear from SwampRat - I did miss you posts

[awoke_in_2003]

53. where has Swampy been?

I was thinking of him the other day.

[DonRedwood]

56. Swamping about somewhere

[malaise]

77. He told us he was heading for Brazil

and we haven't heard from him since then.
I'd love to know how he's doing.

[hrmjustin]

16. Congratulations and I am sorry that you didn't get to tell Rowdyboy.

[Skittles]

17. really enjoyed Rowdyboy; I really connected with him

congrats to you and your hubby DonRedwood; very happy for you

[DonRedwood]

67. Good to see you skittles

[Skittles]

75. back at ya

[Jamastiene]

20. K&R

Congratulations on getting married. It is tough in the south. Rowdyboy would have been so much more eloquent than I can ever be in congratulating you. RIP Rowdyboy

[Omaha Steve]

25. The DU is such a special place

With a lot of special people.

[DonRedwood]

41. Howdy Omaha

Hope you are well.

My union saved my ass this year!

[Omaha Steve]

76. Do tell

In public or private.

[one_voice]

27. Aww...you made me cry...

Congrats! and I'm sorry!

[niyad]

28. congratulations on your marriage--plan to throw a big party when you catch your breath.

I know that rowdyboy is smiling down on you--probably even drinking a toast.

darn, there is a lot of dust in here tonight!!

[pinboy3niner]

30. The most beautiful post I've seen here

Congratulations to you and your partner!!!

I hope it's enough to know the joy Rowdyboy would have felt to share in your happy news.

Rowdyboy

[Kali]

31. oh man, something in my eyes

wonderful post, congratulations

the news about Rowdyboy was a shock.

[WillyT]

34. Huge K & R !!! - Thank You !!!

[herding cats]

38. This was a beautiful tribute.

My congratulations on your marriage and the interesting events in your life recently.

I'm sorry you didn't get to share your good news with Rowdyboy, but your post about him, and what he meant to you, was deeply moving and truly lovely.

[Liberalynn]

39. Congratulations!

I don't know for certain about religions but I do believe the spirit some how lives on, and he knows and is proud and happy for you.

[Hekate]

40. Tearing up here. Congratulations to you. Somehow, I know that Rowdyboy knows and is smiling down...

At least that is my very best hope for all of us when our beloved friends pass.

On behalf of Rowdy

[calimary]

50. Beautiful post, Hekate.

Says what I feel.

Much love to you, DonRedwood, and may you two have many great years together! I'm certain Rowdyboy is celebrating your happiness from a First Class Balcony seat.

[DonRedwood]

55. Hi calimary

Long time no see!

[calimary]

71. Back atcha, my friend!

This whole essay of yours was so poignant and lovely. The TRUE meaning of "bittersweet." A work of art.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

42. Oh my dear DonRedwood...

What a beautiful and moving tribute! Brought this old lady to tears, you did...

Congrats!

And I know Rowdyboy is smiling and cheering you on! He knows.

[DonRedwood]

44. You are one of my other buddies!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

46. What a sweetheart you are...

[lovemydog]

43. Woohoo! Hell yeah!

I hope I said that kind of like Rowdy.

I know what it means to miss a friend. He'll always be with you in spirit.

[sheshe2]

45. Beautiful tribute Don. To Rowdy.

You got married, heartfelt congratulations to you and yours.

[DonRedwood]

64. Thank you kindly!

[allan01]

47. hem

[DonRedwood]

49. I know all the words!

[FSogol]

48. Congrats.

[awoke_in_2003]

51. Don, I am happy for your marriage

but sad for the loss of a friend.

[Aerows]

52. Rowdyboy will be missed

[greatlaurel]

54. Congratulations! Good luck for a long and wonderful future together.

Rowdyboy will be missed very much.

[cyberswede]

57. Your post makes me sad and happy at the same time.

I have both kinds of tears right now.

Congratulations!

[DonRedwood]

62. Me too

Sad and happy. Like telling old stories at a funeral. They make you smile but you are still just as sad.

[RufusTFirefly]

58. Mazel tov! n/t

[bearssoapbox]

61. Like others, I have both kinds of tears going on now.

Also that frowny, smiley thing.

So happy. So sad.

But, I guess mostly happy because I'm sure that Rowdyboy would have been very happy for you.

I didn't know Rowdyboy but it is always sad when a member of the (DU) family passes away.

And CONGRATULATIONS to you and your partner.

[eaglecries]

65. I like to think that maybe he is in a place where he is aware

of the good things in the lives of those who were close to him. I know he will always be part of my life in memories of great days and times gone by. I am glad that you and your partner were able to get married. Maybe the day will come soon when no matter what state one lives in they will be able to gain the freedoms which small minds and evil people try to deny some.

[bigwillq]

66. He heard you loud and clear.

And he's cheering.

As am I.



So happy for you.

[seabeyond]

68. I hear you. He would have been doing all of that.

He was a true supporter for so many of us. Thank you for sharing your story with us and the shout out to rowdy boy. He was the best of who we are!!!!

[DonRedwood]

80. I think you summed him up perfectly

[lumberjack_jeff]

69. Very well said.

I've learned that, whatever you're gonna do... do it now.

[FourScore]

70. This is the most beautiful post I've ever read on DU!

Congratulations and I understand your sadness.

What an amazing tale.

I think Rowdyboy knows and is still whooping and hollering with happiness.

[2naSalit]

72. I have been wondering what happened to you!

While it is sad that RowdyBoy isn't able to acknowledge you here on DU, I am comfortable enough about the "afterlife" to think that he knows that you finally got married and is happy for you.

I am happy for you too, Congratulations!!

Feeling sad about missing the opportunity to share this with a good friend is to be expected but you can take solace in the fact that even if what I think isn't true, you know that he would be happy for you.

I hope you and yours live long and prosper. And I think it's really cool that you got to do whatever it was that you were doing in DC!!

I know it doesn't amount to much but, for what it's worth...

[DonRedwood]

81. Your words are wonderful

Thank you!

[pnwmom]

73. Congratulations! And what a wonderful tribute to Rowdyboy.

[DonRedwood]

91. Hiya pnwmom-- hope you and your family is well

[pnwmom]

92. It was great to hear your happy news!

We're doing pretty well right now, after a challenging year. (My mom broke her hip and we lost our dog to cancer.) Now we're waiting for a new puppy in May. Everyone is looking forward to some puppy fun.

[Cha]

74. What a wonderful tribute to Rowdyboy, DonRedwood~ Interesting and heartwarming..

"It was an amazing year. I met the President. I stood next to Lindsey Graham, passed Diane Feinstein in the Capitol, looked down on the top of Rand Paul's head, met a Clinton and a Biden. I spoke on the mall in Washington and did stuff I never ever ever imagined I would do.

And in the middle of it all the laws changed and my partner became my husband. I got married."

Just Wow!.. Congratulations to you and your husband!

I just knew Rowdyboy from posting on DU about various political posts.. but, I know I was always delighted when I saw him and his avatar RIP~Rowdyboy~

[Crewleader]

78. It's a terrible sadness for me too.

I didn't know about Rowdyboy and my heart is broken not to have been able to tell him what a wonderful friend he has been to me and how I always appreciate his kindness and thoughtfulness towards everyone.

Rowdyboy, I'm telling you now, I love you dear friend, rest in peace and I shall miss you!

[sinkingfeeling]

79. Lovely.

[CrispyQ]

82. Kick for a beautiful tribute.

[salin]

83. With both sadness of loss and joy for your marriage!

Beautiful Post.

[blondie58]

84. So that's where you've been!

I wondered where your eloquence and charm had gone.
Congratulations! It sounds like it was a wonderful year.
Write a little about your adventures when you have time. I am sure they will be fascinating!

RIP Rowdyboy.

[elleng]

85. Sweet and lovely of you, DonRedwood.

[KamaAina]

86. looked down on the top of Rand Paul's head?

Why didn't you reach down and pull that godsawful rug off?

[LeftishBrit]

88. Congratulations to you and your husband - and tears for Rowdyboy

[marym625]

90. What an absolutely beautiful tribute

You brought tears to my eyes.

I'm sorry you missed telling your friend.



Congratulations on your marriage.

[tooeyeten]

93. Congratulations

Thanks for sharing your inspiring story,

RIP Rowdy

[dbackjon]

94. Much congratulations and love from Arizona

[MrMickeysMom]

95. Perfectly shared...

… and appreciated. You message is a gift to all of us here, regardless of how well I knew/know you, it brought me closer now!

[TNNurse]

96. Happy for you and your husband

Also thrilled to know that someone like you has been in Washington and influencing people. Not sure I would willingly stand next to Lindsey Graham, am not taller than Rand Paul but the rest sounds great.

Good for you and hope Rowdy and others who have gone before know of some improvements.