I've been asked to join a real world group for newly diagnosed terminal patients, I've been there OS

[Omaha Steve]

I initially thought no, because it would be so hard to do over and over. This is more than a shoulder to cry on.

Then I listened to the reasons I was asked. I appear to be making the best of my time since I was diagnosed in late December 2013. That I can help others deal with the cards we've been dealt. That I can help.

I asked for time to think it over. I'm starting to lean towards at least trying it. It's once every couple weeks for an hour or two.

Any thoughts on this?

OS

[Octafish]

1. You'd help others understand they are not alone, for one.

Then, you'd have people who can help you understand what you are going through, Omaha Steve.

If I can stress one point: Ignore any indication to the contrary: you and the group are what Gracie Slick and Jefferson Airplane called the Crown of Creation -- you are TOPS in every way.

[randome]

2. I think we're all learning more and more from you as you go through this.

If you join and can let us know what it's like, I think we would all benefit from that, too.

But that's a purely selfish reason from me. You still need to think about yourself, primarily.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]Give yourself the same benefit of a doubt you'd give anyone else. It's only fair.[/center][/font][hr]

[druidity33]

32. I echo this sentiment... well stated Randome. K&R, nt.

[NYC_SKP]

3. It seems like an opportunity to help others and simultaneously benefit from the act of sharing.

You seem to be a natural for this, contribution and support to those in need.

I say go for it and if it doesn't feel right you can withdraw, right?

[LiberalLoner]

6. + a million

[KoKo]

27. My thoughts also....

What NYC_SKP said...... Probably what I'd do..but, then I'm not you...but always enjoy your posts...and that's something for DU... so perhaps we might come from the same place inside...

But, definitely worth thinking over and maybe doing an internet search about these groups before you jump in just to get a drift.

[calimary]

29. Reminds me of a quote I saw, about sharing,

that I liked and I kept. Something about - when you share, you wind up having more. Anybody in that group would benefit tremendously from what you'd bring to it, Omaha Steve. And you would likely benefit further as well.

Hugs and more hugs, dear DU friend and brother!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear Omaha Steve...

Any time you can join a group that relates to what you're going through.......I would say this is beneficial to you as well as to them.

It would help reduce any possible sense of isolation that you might feel.

I would say: Go for it! Yes, at least try it out and see how it fits you and what you need.

[Dont call me Shirley]

5. Your ability to provide meaningful and compassionate information would make you a good candidate.

[KMOD]

7. I think you should go at least one time,

to see if you can gain, or give any benefit.

If you find it hard, or don't like it, you can choose not to go again.

[840high]

9. Yes.

[SoapBox]

8. I think...

That whatever you decide, that you will ALWAYS have support here.

We love what you do for us and we will love any decisions you make for yourself.

My best.

[madamvlb]

10. Every couple of weeks...why not try it out.

[mopinko]

11. seems like a very os thing to do.

if you dont like it, you can tell them you died. (sorry, a little gallows humor. does it help?)

[sheshe2]

12. Give it a try Steve,

you have a big heart...

[fadedrose]

13. Do it OS!

Maybe if you're lucky you'll find some folks there who like to talk about politics. It would make you feel right at home.

Good luck. Let us know what they do there - share with us...

[steve2470]

14. I would definitely go twice

Sometimes your first visit can go wrong for some reason. I think it would be good for you and others in the group. Let us know how it turns out!

[KT2000]

15. I can tell that you have the key

live outward - the animal stories, the labor stories are the signs we see. Whatever advice you have to give in helping others to reach that place would be a good thing. Not everyone will hear you but some will and you will have helped someone find peace. If you find yourself getting drained though, quit going.
My 2 cents.

[Vincardog]

16. Teaching is the best way to learn. I say do it and learn to help them prepare to get the most

out of the time they have. If you do it and decide it takes too much out of you then stop.
You will probably find they give you much more than they take from you.

[WillowTree]

17. You would almost certainly be enormous help to the "newbies"

And my guess is that they, and the experience in general, would be good for you, too.

I'm not there, so I hesitate to say this, but I think it's OK to say that it would cost you little or nothing to try it a bit and you might just come home feeling uplifted. At least, that would be my hope.

[ColesCountyDem]

18. I think you would be a great addition to the group, Steve.

As genuinely kind and empathetic as you are, Steve, I can't see how you would NOT be a great help to the group's other members.

Since my son's death last June, I've been attending a support group for survivors of suicide, and the support and strength we draw from each other has surprised me. You may well experience the same thing.

[TNNurse]

19. I think if you want to give it a chance fine.

No one here will criticize you if you do not continue. You are your first priority. As a cancer survivor (so far), I understand how much your knowledge can help someone else, but you should not risk your own health or mental well being to do it. Guilt should not be a factor.

[charin]

20. Agree

I should recover, but the online colon cancer group has been a great help to me http://coloncancersupport.colonclub.com/viewforum.php?f=1 .

[MissDeeds]

21. It is an honor to be asked

but you and Marta must decide what's right for you. If you feel this may be too taxing or in any way problematic, decline without a second thought. On the other hand, if you'd like to participate, you might want to do so with the stipulation that you can terminate at any time.

You are a stellar fellow, Omaha Steve. Your benevolent nature can be seen in your posts on DU. This is your time. Spend it on your terms. You've earned it.

Godspeed.

[rurallib]

22. much like most of the others, I would say try it

if it is not a fit, drop out.
But you have so much that others learn from.

To me it would be like being on a team - an athletic team, a work team or whatever.
Or if you don't mind the analogy, it would be like a union - a group formed for the better of all.

You know your team back here at DU is cheering you on, whatever you decide.

[DFW]

23. One main benefit

It could leave you with the feeling of satisfying accomplishment when you think you've come to the point where you can't do it any more.

[daredtowork]

24. I dissent

IMHO, people with special needs should try to avoid being shunted off into a cordoned off world of "special people" who only talk to each other. If possible, remain fully integrated in the wider world as long as you can to share your experience and to engage in diverse conversation.

Perhaps its a bit pretentious to give dissenting advice when I'm not in a terminal condition yet and have never faced what you face. Please feel free to shrug it off.

Is there any hope in genetic medicine? The big conference last weekend bandied about slogans in regard to curing all diseases...

[crim son]

28. Why would it not be possible to do both? n/t

[KoKo]

30. "Omaha Steve" is not one to give up posting and shouting out his opinion..

so I wouldn't worry about him from that perspective!

He will be here with us for as long as he's able ... and I hope it's a longer time than he's told. There is comfort in a group that shares one's experience with an illness....but, one has to choose carefully, THE GROUP...which is probably what you are cautioning.

[Omaha Steve]

35. There is a drug going to trial

My damage is irreversible. Even I can see it on an MRI.

By the time this drug would be approved by the FDA, I'll be long gone.

OS

[Luminous Animal]

25. I think you should give it a try. You are a compassionate human being with

a unique perspective. If you find that it is too much, you can bow out. Everyone will understand.

[peacebird]

26. Omaha Steve,

Strength, love, and healing vibes headed your way - regardless of what you choose.

[lexington filly]

31. "hard to do over and over..."

Because in the past I've sometimes over-committed, to the detriment of my own well-being, I've learned to commit to just trying something and giving myself permission up-front to evaluate and stop when or if that something becomes detrimental. This attitude keeps me from over-thinking everything and never trying anything but protects me if things get out of hand.
Too, an odd thing about strength I've learned, even if we just pretend to be strong for someone, is we become stronger.
I will think about you often, Omaha Steve......

[Terra Alta]

33. You should at least try it.

You're a very compassionate person and would offer great words of wisdom to those who are going through what you are going through. You would be helping others, and helping yourself in the process.

Whatever you decide to do, you know you have support here.

[mahina]

34. I didn't know, and am profoundly sorry to hear it.

Helping others is right up your alley, and is the best of us.

Aloha no OS.

[AikidoSoul]

36. Thank you for considering this

as it is a sign of life and love of humanity.

We are in such depressing times. For you to do this is very uplifting.

I hope you benefit from it as much as others do.