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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsFlorida Cops Smelled Weed In Dude’s ***, For Reals (warning: DO NOT read this in public!)
Florida Cops Smelled Weed In Dudes Butthole, For Reals
image:
he seems... high
Yes, of course, its Florida Man again, and even though we have an official Florida Correspondent, sometimes the rest of us just have to hit a Florida story, too. Youll forgive us if we dont want a hit of this Florida story, however. In the wee hours of February 12, Gainesville police pulled over Winfred Alphonso McAllister Jr. after observing his car weaving between lanes. After asking McAllister to step out of the car, the cops said they detected the smell of marijuana; McAllister claimed that it had to be left over from an earlier time when he had smoked some, and insisted he had no weed on him. Which, yecch, was technically true because he had his stash in him.
The police patted McAllister down and found the source of the smell, which turned out to be a cache of weed up his poopchute. It was, thankfully, in a bag. In an abject failure of either police disclosure or of journalism, the U of Florida Alligator does not address the degree to which some portion of the bag may have been peeking out. The people have a right to know.
The suspect also had a bag of crack cocaine in his mouth, which seems poetically backwards, frankly.
McAllister reportedly took the search in stride, asking during the patdown, Man, can you just give me a court date for it? Instead, he was arrested on charges of possession of a controlled substance, marijuana possession, drug equipment possession and tampering with evidence. Not to mention felony grossness. He was released later in the day after paying a $40,000 bond. It is unknown whether McAllister will be eligible for a reduced sentence on the grounds of oh my fucking god are you fucking kidding me?
Gainseville police released a statement saying the arrest vindicated the departments controversial decision last year to train officers to alert to the smell of assweed.
This story of butthole weed is lovingly dedicated to Rudy Giuliani and to Dinesh DSouza.
Read more at http://wonkette.com/576893/florida-cops-smelled-weed-in-dudes-butthole-for-reals#ygmtJU7BolUCE6Dk.99
KamaAina
(78,249 posts)KamaAina
(78,249 posts)Journeyman
(15,036 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)pinboy3niner
(53,339 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)11 Bravo
(23,926 posts)DJ13
(23,671 posts)niyad
(113,329 posts)Fumesucker
(45,851 posts)NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind.
Taitertots
(7,745 posts)Cops are going around smelling assholes to check for pot. It's official: America is fucked.
pipi_k
(21,020 posts)they got the little guy, but what about the guy's pet donkey?
That critter can roll that stuff up and dispense it out his own ass, ready to smoke!