Father keeps Down syndrome baby rejected by mom

[KamaAina]

http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2015/02/06/father-keeps-down-syndrome-baby-rejected-by-mom/

When a New Zealand father saw his newborn son for the first time at a hospital in Armenia, he never questioned whether or not he’d keep him.

Even though doctors revealed at birth that Leo had Down syndrome and his mother had decided she didn’t want him, Samuel Forrest was adamant about calling the child his own.

In Armenia parents can choose whether to take home a baby born with Down syndrome or place it in an orphanage. ”What happens when a baby like this is born here, they will tell you that you don’t have to keep them,” Forrest told ABC News. “My wife had already decided, so all of this was done behind my back.”

This practice of abandoning children due to disabilities is common in Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union. Health professionals estimate that 98 percent of all Down syndrome babies born in Armenia are abandoned.

[TwilightGardener]

1. Precious baby. What mother can walk away from her own child, unless she has

a heart of stone?

[Victor_c3]

2. As a father, I would have to ask the same questions of fathers as well

There is nothing my kids could be or do that would make me not love them. I'm sure it would be heartbreaking for me, but I would unquestionably loved and raise either of my children had they been born disabled.

I'm glad this man felt the way that he did. Every child that is born deserves to be loved by their parents. To grow up knowing that you weren't wanted would be devastating.

[TwilightGardener]

3. Agreed.

[Scuba]

4. +1,000

[In_The_Wind]

5. I've wondered about that question many times.

[Bettie]

8. Cultural Differences, knowing herself

First, sounds as if her cultural norm (given what was said about this in Armenian hospitals) is not to raise such a child. So, to her, it would be the norm, just as in some cultures, children with obvious disabilities are exposed (this doesn't happen so much today, but there were times and places where it was common).

Second: is it better for a parent to raise a child they resent and honestly don't want or to give the child up?

Women are expected to martyr themselves for the sake of their children, but this man is lauded as some kind of hero for stepping up, since men generally aren't expected to do so.

I'm a mom. I love my kids, but I understand that some people are simply not equipped to take care of kids who have special needs. Some people are not equipped to deal with kids at all. Better if they know that about themselves before something terrible happens.

[Hekate]

10. Not so long ago institutionalization of "Mongoloid idiots" at birth was an acceptable choice in USA

We've come a long way in our understanding of the potential for development in Down's Syndrome children, and I'm very glad of that.

We still have a long way to go in providing support to parents and families, who may well become exhausted themselves. In the 1960s the family across the street had 3 children, one of them cognitively disabled. Jill lived with her parents until they died. Still unable to live on her own, she was then transferred to her sister's care. Her sister was by then married, with her own children. That's a big responsibility, and a big impact on family life.

We have some group homes. We have some sheltered workshops and day care centers. But not nearly enough.

+100 to your last paragraph.

[vankuria]

13. Yes you are right

I worked with developmentally disabled for years and case histories stated how parents were encouraged to give their Down Syndrome babies up, they were told they'd be a threat to the other children, never have any skills, be a burden, etc. Babies went from the hospital right to an institution, very sad. We've come a long way with many supports and services, group homes, supported work programs but this is all being threatened by cuts to services, benefits, Medicaid, etc.

I'm glad to see this dad is stepping up to the plate, realizes his son has value, potential and has something special to offer the world. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't see the inherent value we all have and the special way a handicapped child can add to our lives and teach us many lessons about life.

The mom is the definite loser in all this.

[HappyMe]

6. Look at that sweet face.

I'm glad he is keeping his child. What kind of person wouldn't? Good grief, done behind his back....

Wtf is it with the dumping of kids like that.

[Bigmack]

7. I just read...

... that other primates have Down-like syndromes, too.

And they show empathy toward it, too.

Hard to draw a line these days between us and the rest of the animal kingdom.

[Snow Leopard]

9. lucky guy

that she didn't abort the kid on him.

Hope he has a great life with his boy!

[Hekate]

11. If she had, none of us would be discussing this situation, would we? Eastern Europe...

...has some really different attitudes from ours, and I wonder what the New Zealander was doing in Armenia in the first place. For the baby's sake, all I can say is hope he takes it home to New Zealand on the next available flight so the little guy can have some quality of life.

As for the former Soviet Bloc, do some reading up on issues of contraception, abortion, and disability. Their "orphanages" are full of kids dumped by parents with no desire to raise a child disabled in any way, and apparently not much of a support system even if they try to. It's a harsh society that way.

Regarding your men's rights meme, Lucky Guy, it's no picnic raising a child of any description, much less one that will be dependent upon its parents for the rest of the parents' lives. Mothers do it all the time, so they have a much better idea of what's in store. Check back on Samuel Forrest in a decade or so.

[Snow Leopard]

12. not sure what your point is

Of course raising a kid is hard, especially a disabled one. Are you implying that because he is a man he won't be able to do it like a woman could? The women in question here gave up before she even began. And until a woman becomes a mother , she is just as in the dark as a guy would be too.

People seem to think men can't do it or won't step up to the plate, so when a guy does, I think it is a good thing, and a lot better for the kid than going to an orphanage. This does not diminish in any way motherhood or the hard work many women do in raising kids.

[vankuria]

14. Not necessarily

"dependent upon its parents for the rest of the parents lives". You make it sounds like they are nothing but a burden. I worked with many folks with Downs Syndrome", they have a lot of potential if they are given the right supports, education, training, etc. I know many who hold jobs, live semi-independently and contribute to society.

[vankuria]

15. By the way he is a gorgeous baby!!!