our friends just lost the twin girls she was carrying

[ProdigalJunkMail]

6+ months... they did everything right. he's devastated... she's inconsolable. i don't expect anything... sorry to spew bad news. i just want to scream.

sP

[uppityperson]

1. :(

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. How sad for everyone concerned.

To get so close and then lose them.

Be good to yourself, my dear ProdigalJunkMail.

And to your friends, just be there and let them know you're there for them. Just your simple presence will help.

[Terra Alta]

3. your friends are in my thoughts.

[snacker]

4. So sorry...

and sad for your friends.

[JustAnotherGen]

5. My hearts breaks for them

[Siwsan]

6. I can't imagine that kind of grief

And I'm going through some bad grief, right now. Trust me, from my recent experiences, DU can be an amazing source of comfort and support.

[shraby]

7. I want to scream with you. I'm so sorry.

[redwitch]

8. That is so sad.

At 6 months along parents to be are feeling very invested and to lose two at once must be devastating.

[Laffy Kat]

9. Six months is so, so late.

Just heartbreaking.

[WillyT]

10. I Don't Know What To Say...

This may not be the time, and I do not mean any hurt...

But my 85+ year old mom, tells me and my sisters a story of when she was trying to have kids with the love of her life, my dad.

After 3 or 4 miscarriages (I can't remember the number) she was told, by her male OB-GYN, that she was a "Habitual Aborter", and would never have children.

Well... I'm here to tell you...

That me and my three sisters would like to disagree...







Peace...

[jimlup]

11. I'm so sorry!

That is hard

[Bettie]

12. So Sorry

There is nothing like the pain of losing a child.

When our daughter died at birth, this book was really comforting, there are many others out there as well:
http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Heart-Revised-ebook/dp/B0029ZBK94/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423190475&sr=1-10&keywords=pregnancy+loss

[link:http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Heart-Revised-ebook/dp/B0029ZBK94/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1423190475&sr=1-10&keywords=pregnancy+loss|

I kept reading, hoping for that one thing that would give me a reason that it happened. Never got one, but I did get the idea that I wasn't alone. Now, I have three amazing boys, but boy howdy, pregnancy was much harder after a loss.

Wishes for peace for your friends. They will need it in the coming days.

[femmocrat]

13. That is so heart-breaking.

I hope that they will find some comfort eventually.

[AverageJoe90]

14. Let me send y'all some virtual hugs and good vibes.

[niyad]

15. how heartbreaking. sending healing thoughts for comfort and peace for your friends and you.

[greatlaurel]

16. This is so terribly sad for everyone.

[blackspade]

17. As a parent, I can't think of a pain that would be much worse.

My condolences to your friends.

[elleng]

18. Oh my goodness!

How awful!
My daughter lost twins, separately and in the very early stages, 1-2 months. I cannot imagine at 6 months.
to your friends and you.

[jwirr]

19. So sorry. Stand by them as this will take a while to mourn.

[sueh]

20. My condolencees to your dear friends...and to all who are touched by this terrible loss. (((hugs)))

[Mira]

21. Sad sad news.

I know you will be there for them in whatever way they indicate that they want your support. Some things are too wrenching for words.
I hope her body and their minds recover the best way possible.

[MissB]

22. I'm so sorry

All you can do is be there. And listen.

[PADemD]

23. Just your acknowledging their loss will help.

Send a sympathy card. Do everything you would normally do for a grieving friend. Do not assume anything. Ask if you can help.

Hopefully, there is a local support group for grieving parents available for your friends.

So sorry for your friends' loss.

[FailureToCommunicate]

24. So sorry to hear of your friends' loss. And your grief.

Multiples are a difficult pregnancy under the best circumstances.

Our twins were born at only six months, and we nearly lost them several times as they struggled in the ICU...

So so very sorry for your friends, and you.

[trocar]

25. Sorry, so very very sorry

[marym625]

26. How terribly sad

[montana_hazeleyes]

27. So very sorry.

[calimary]

28. I'm so sorry to hear this, ProdigalJunkMail.

I can't imagine how deep that pain is. I'm glad you posted here. You won't mourn alone - nor will your friends. So many people here extending love and support and sympathy and solidarity. I hope in even a small way your friends can know they don't grieve alone.

I'm glad you shared this. Let us help you hoist the burden for awhile. As Skittles once said - "someone's always here."

[ProdigalJunkMail]

29. just got in... thanks all

i just needed to vent. don't really know what else to do at this point.

sP

[Bettie]

30. Say "I'm sorry"

and listen.

So many times people didn't want to hear about it. Pregnancy loss is one of those things that a lot of people expect you to get over quickly. Some people need to talk about it a lot. (I did, DH didn't, he just went around the house and repaired everything that was broken.)

You would not believe some of the things that well-meaning people say to try to make it better.

Well, at least you never got to know her and God has a plan were the two that made me want to scream.

In the end "I'm sorry" is all you can really say.

Mark down their due date on your calendar and remember that will be a terrible day for them as will the one year anniversary of the loss.

Again, I hope for peace for your friends, it will be hard for them to find at first, but eventually, the sharp edges don't cut so deeply and it gets easier. They will never be fully over it, but they'll be able to live with the hole it left in their lives and their family.

Sorry if this is not the right thing to say to you, but I so wish someone had told my family members and friends this stuff when we lost Julie.

[Coventina]

31. I lost my only pregnancy to miscarriage, and heartily second everything you said.

I would only add the following:

Mother's Day is going to be really hard.
Father's Day as well.

Be there for them if they need it.

The holiday season will be hard as well. (Their girls' first T-giving & Xmas or whatever they celebrate).

The subject of babies and pregnancy will be REALLY hard for the mother to face in the media, and the whole world seems baby-crazy when you're suffering a loss like that.

Non-stop coverage of the Royals' & celebrities having babies. It can be really, really painful.

Be ready for the anger, once the initial shock wears off.

Just listen, don't try to reason with it or anything, just express your unconditional sympathy and caring.

[Bettie]

32. For me, going to the grocery store

was torturous. It seemed like everywhere I looked, there were people with new babies. I hated them for a while.

All those holidays are awful for that first year...marginally less so after that, but the firsts are so bad.

You're totally right about all of this.

And, for you, Coventina, I am so sorry for your loss. I was lucky enough to have three boys after my first loss (along with three miscarriages).

[Coventina]

33. Yes, I am well-acquainted with the horrors of the grocery store.

Once, I was convinced a hugely pregnant woman was following me, no matter where I fled to avoid her.
I finally took refuge in the liquor department, figuring I was safe from her there.
I ended up buying a case of wine.

Thank you for your caring. And I am sorry for your losses as well.
It's one of those things that society still avoids discussing openly, and it can feel very, very lonely at times.

[raven mad]

34. My heart hurts for you, and your friends.