Mars Ain't the Kind of Place to Raise Your Kids, but It's Warmer Than You Are

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Deep freeze plunges temperatures in US below those on Mars

By Laurel Kornfeld , The Space Reporter | January 09, 2015

A deep freeze in the northern US has resulted in fourteen states recording daytime temperatures that are colder than those measured on Mars’ Gale Crater on the same day. The temperatures on the Red Planet were captured NASA’s Curiosity rover.

The rover recorded a daytime high temperature of 17.6 degrees F (-8 C) in Gale Crater, which is located close to the Martian equator. That happens to be 15 degrees F warmer than Green Bay, Wisconsin; 12 degrees F warmer than Detroit, and 10 degrees F warmer than Chicago was on Thursday, January 8.

Wind chills, in addition, made all these places feel significantly colder than the actual temperatures.

Those states with regions colder than Gale Crater on this particular day included Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan, Montana, Washington, Indiana, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Vermont, New Hampshire, and upstate New York. ... Almost all of Maine and Minnesota experienced temperatures colder than those in Gale Crater.

Canada too, eh?

Mars warmer than parts of Canada, U.S.

Gale Crater reached high of -8 C, while most of Canada hovered in the -20s

CBC News Posted: Jan 09, 2015 10:13 AM ET| Last Updated: Jan 09, 2015 10:58 AM ET

The Mars Curiosity Rover had a warmer day on Mars yesterday than most Canadians and Americans in the northern U.S.

"It will be colder than @MarsCuriosity's location in Gale Crater throughout much [of] the northern U.S. and Canada today," a tweet from Mars Weather, an account with updates from a weather instrument on board the rover, read Thursday. ... On Thursday, Mars reached a high of –8 C at the Gale Crater.

While some 3.5 billion years ago Mars may have had a similar climate to Earth, the planet is now very cold, NASA says. In the summer, the Curiosity Rover could experience a high of 20 C if located near Mars's equator, or a low of –153 C at either of its poles.

But, that didn't stop the Gale Crater from being cozier than most of Canada on Thursday. ... During the day, many Canadians experienced temperatures in the –20s C range, according to the Weather Network. In some places, the temperature felt like –40 C or colder with the wind chill.

I know you're waiting for it:

[Octafish]

1. I'll remember that trying to start the frigging car.

The news will keep me warm inside. Batteries, though, know when it's 5-degrees.

Thanks also for the heads-up, mahatmakanejeeves! Fascinating places, our worlds.

[shenmue]

2. Wow

[mahatmakanejeeves]

3. How could I have forgotten?

D'oh (®, Fox Broadcasting). Forthwith, The Spiders from Mars:

That first one - wow. Don't get me started on glam videos. I can't get enough of that stuff.

[seveneyes]

4. My House on Mars

Mother did you hear me cry?
You never told me why
You put me in this world of rock and dust

[napkinz]

5. "Venus and Mars are all right tonight"

[mahatmakanejeeves]

6. It looks a lot like the one used by Jimmy Page.

Due to old age, I forgot about that. I have the album, too. By "album," I mean, vinyl, 33-1/3 rpm.

Thanks.

[napkinz]

7. I had to look up the names of the Wings band members

Jimmy McCulloch died in 1979 of a drug overdose. Sad.

[Initech]

8. "Oh back in your day, Mars was a vast, unlivable wasteland. Much like Utah.

"Although unlike Utah it was eventually made livable."

[LeftyMom]

9. Wow, must be pretty nice there because it's 60 degrees here.

I just put my laundry on the line and the chickadees and bushtits in my backyard trees were bouncing about and making a happy racket. Lovely day.

[Oscarmonster13]

11. I heard the chickadee singing "cheeseburger" today! crazy!

Usually that's their spring/summer song, not for JANUARY!!! I'm in the high sierra, but it's been warm this week, too...

[LeftyMom]

12. The bees are going nuts in my willow tree right now.

Can't blame them, it's absolutely dripping pollen.

[KingCharlemagne]

10. Your OP title sounds like the title of a Country-Western song about

the feelings of some jilted lover!

[mahatmakanejeeves]

15. Got your country song right here.

I'm a big fan of the Monkees TV show, which runs on the cheapskate over-the-air TV stations. Despite the popular belief, they were all talented performers. Where they really benefited, though, was from the absolutely topnotch songwriting talent who were cranking tunes for them right and left. Lieber and Stoller, Gerry Goffin and Carole King, Neil Diamond - the songs are timeless.

The Monkees Discography

So I imagined Don Kirshner calling up Carole King and saying, "Carole, we need a song for the show. Can you get us one by the close of business? I mean, today?"

If this were done by an old school performer, I'm thinking Kitty Wells. New school performer, I'd go with Loretta Lynn. That coal country twang would give it that extra kick. Maybe Tammy Wynette. That's a tough choice.

Forthwith:

Mars Ain't No Place to Raise Your Kids, But It's Warmer Than You Are

You up and left to go to Mars
Heard the call of Uncle Sam.
Guess you forgot about your kids
When you went on the lam.

Can't pay the bills; no child support.
Had to leave this earthly jam.
Caught an interplanetary trip.
The red planet's where I am.

Now I'm sitting in a honky tonk,
At the far end of a bar.
Mars ain't no place to raise your kids,
But it's warmer than you are.

As your reward for putting up with that, here's some real music:

[NightWatcher]

13. Breaking News: NFL announces Super Bowl to be held on Mars

After the game in East Rutherford, NJ, I thought they were purposefully trying to hold it in the coldest place on earth.

Of course it will be an outdoor game. Who wants a dome when it's below freezing?

[Warren DeMontague]

14. How cold is uranus?

It's got that blanket of green gas.

[ProfessorGAC]

16. On The Plus Side. . .

. . .my antifreeze will be ok on Mars. At least at the equator.