Tim Tebow arrested for soliciting sexual favors (satire, hoax)

[BainsBane]

Friday evening, the former Denver Broncos Quarterback Tim Tebow, was arrested for soliciting sexual favors.

The Sheriff’s Department arrested Tim Tebow, the 27 year old religious icon and former Florida Gators star quarterback, who once claimed he invented Gatorade, on Friday at a hotel on the outskirts of Jacksonville.

Sources say Tebow say he is expected to apologize in an open letter for the “inappropriate sexual encounter.”
Tebow said it was Christ’s love that put him in this position, the Jacksonville Daily News reported. According to police reports Tebow had also told officers he was there to “bless the woman with his Holy water,” and not to solicit sexual favors.
http://dailyleak.org/2014/11/tim-tebow-arrested-for-soliciting-prostitute/

Turns out this is satire. Some things are just too good to be true.

[NuclearDem]

1. DailyLeak.

Still funny though

http://dailyleak.org/2014/11/tim-tebow-arrested-for-soliciting-prostitute/

[BainsBane]

8. It's the excuse that's the best part

He was going to bless her with holy water. He learned at the knee of conservative evangelicals and can lie with the best of them.

[NuclearDem]

13. Well, DL is an Onion-style site.

Not actually true.

[braddy]

28. Isn't holy water a Catholic thing?

[BainsBane]

31. Yes, and it's only holy after priests bless it

but I thought he had his own thing going.

[marym625]

37. I thought it was hilarious

And with the religious fanatics we have today, I bought it at first.

Nice post. Second satirical post I saw tonight

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026038094

[SheilaT]

2. Huh? He claims to have invented something that was around

twenty years before he was born? How stupid does he think everyone else is?

[Electric Monk]

6. It's satire

http://dailyleak.org/faq/

[BainsBane]

12. Oh, damn

I guess it was too good to be true.

[SheilaT]

18. oh. Never mind.

[Brother Buzz]

36. The writers at DailyLeak are younger than Tebow

Think about it.

Oh, Gatorade® was originally a vile tasting mess of sugars and salts packed in envelopes invented by the University of Florida (Gators), Timmy's alma mater, so there's that.

[Thinkingabout]

3. Yep, that's what it was, just a blessing, like Jimmy Swaggart, just looking and then witnessing to

[hrmjustin]

4. I wouldn't throw him out of bed but he would have to promise to shut up the whole time. n/t.

[davidpdx]

52. Those uber religious people seem to like it kinky

so duct tape would probably do the trick.

[marym625]

5. I'm sure she would be grateful for the holy water

And immediately changed her lustful ways. Enticing men! It's all her fault!

What an incredibly stupid excuse! Surprised he didn't just say it wasn't him.

[ScreamingMeemie]

16. It's poor satire.

[marym625]

32. Yeah I see

Didn't check the link first.

I thought it was funny satire.

[ScreamingMeemie]

33. It's no Onion.

They missed the subtle nuance of good satire entirely.

[marym625]

34. I don't think you have to be so subtle

Nowadays for good satire. So much unbelievable stuff happening that it's often difficult to discern when reality is not satire.

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. I do.

But we can disagree.

This was just awfully done.

[marym625]

38. Well

This post is obviously satirical and I found it funny too. I am an easy audience for funny.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026038094

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. That one is funny. This one, not so much.

I am a tough audience for decent satire.

[marym625]

43. I love 20score's satire

Wish he did it as often as he used to.

[brooklynite]

7. I can't find any record of this at the Jacksonville Daily News...or any other site

[ScreamingMeemie]

15. Daily Leak is an Onion wannabe.

[mikemcl350]

9. snoops says its a hoax

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/tebowarrest.asp

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Daily Leak is a parody site... it does irritate me because many people only think

of the Onion as a satirical site, so these stupid knockoff sites just confuse people.

Really? I wish any talk of that idiot would just go away.

[BainsBane]

20. Yeah, I thought it was real.

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. It happens.

Glad you've got your sense of humor.

[msongs]

10. debunked at snopes.com

http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/tebowarrest.asp

[benz380]

17. Fake but funny! nt

[longship]

29. Don't you mean: "fake but inevitable"?

Which is the genius of good satire.

[JI7]

19. knew it was fake when it referred to "the woman"

[hrmjustin]

24. I had the same thought.

He is cute but he is too rw for me.

[JI7]

27. i'm sure the RW stuff will stop whenever he decides to come out

i do think he really does enjoy the charity work and other nice things he does for people . and that will continue .

but i think the RW stuff is kind of looking for approval from his family. but i hope he doesn't feel guilty or think there is something wrong with him. he comes off a bit as a momma's boy . and i think he is scared of disappointing them.

[hrmjustin]

30. i wish him the best and I hope he feels comfortable with himself in the future.

And I hope he does not run for office.

[jmowreader]

46. That'd be the best campaign EVER!

[Dreamer Tatum]

21. You'd think it was funny if it was true?

Gee, I thought you were a feminist or something.

[BainsBane]

22. NOW neglected to remove my sense of humor.

[hrmjustin]

25. I thought it was hilarious.

[Nye Bevan]

26. Wow. These pathetic imitation sites really demonstrate the brilliance of "The Onion" (nt)

[ScreamingMeemie]

42. Thank you.

[SMC22307]

59. Yes. And that piece was so poorly written...

it's hard to believe anyone actually fell for it, or considered it " " funny.

[Codeine]

39. Satire is hard. nt

[Luminous Animal]

40. Given that it is satire, you should remove. Common ethics. And respect for the board.

[Tanuki]

45. I agree that it should be deleted, since it is untrue and, imo, unfunny.

A lot of people just skim the headlines, and this is how nasty rumors get started. Whether you like the guy or not, at least be fair.

[BainsBane]

49. It is clearly labeled as satire

so there should be no problem.

[PoliticAverse]

51. It should be labeled [satire] in the topic, as many people will see the topic but not click

on the thread and read your whole post.

[RandySF]

44. I was about to buy into this.

Last edited Sun Jan 4, 2015, 07:31 PM - Edit history (1)

Until I saw the line about "holy water".

[blkmusclmachine]

47. Lil Timmy Teabow and Kirk Cameron ought to make a film together!!!

What would that POS film be called???!!!

[awoke_in_2003]

48. damn satire

almost got me.

[Ellipsis]

50. ha!

[a kennedy]

53. Just about had a heart attack......

[PeaceNikki]

54. FYI, someone sent this to jury.

Stupid. I was juror #2:

AUTOMATED MESSAGE: Results of your Jury Service
On Sun Jan 4, 2015, 10:10 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

Tim Tebow arrested for soliciting sexual favors
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026038498

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

Look...I love satire as much as anyone...The Onion, Burowitrz, etc. But I think headlines like this should not be post in General Discussion on DU. It cheapens DU and opens up the opportunity for false headlines to be the norm. Mho

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sun Jan 4, 2015, 10:20 AM, and the Jury voted 1-6 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Satire is common on DU. Leave.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: This isn't a jury issue. OP realized it and updated. If the hosts want to lock or OP wants to delete, cool, but this isn't a jury issue and OP shouldn't be dinged for it.
Juror #3 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: She edited her post to clarify that it is satire, otherwise alerter may have had a point.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Sorry to make an example of this poster but I agree and I think the admins should draw the line. We have a Humor group and we should use it. If not that, the lounge. Cluttering up GD, which is already a hot mess with all the drama of trolls and undercover wingnuts and Putin loving propagandists, with this kind of stuff is not funny. It's stupid and it makes DU suck. This will probably not get hidden but that's my opinion.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Take it to MIRT, don't alert...leave
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It's satire. Says so in the OP. Chill.

[BainsBane]

62. Thanks, PeaceNikki

[Mugu]

85. OGG! n/t

[kentuck]

55. Why?

I haven't seen Tebow out there on any crusades??

[dilby]

56. Because he is a Christian who lives his life like his faith.

If you imitate the Christian Christ you are fair game on these boards, yeah he has done more good for the world than anyone who posts here but lets all trash a kid who actually holds liberal ideals and helps those who are less fortunate than himself.

I like the kid and I am Jewish, I don't really care about his stance on Abortion but at the end of the day here is a young man, who acts like a gentleman and treats everyone else with respect.

[dawg]

68. I agree with you dilby.

I probably wouldn't agree with Mr. Tebow on some issues, but I don't doubt his sincerity. Plus, he seems to be a kind person as well. I generally try to defend him on this board. Despite his true crimes:

[dilby]

57. You must have a shitty life when you celebrate the satire of a good person.

Seriously, if you got excited when you read this title then cried a little inside when you had to scroll down and saw you were duped by someone on these boards who should be smart enough to know they were reading satire the first time without having to have it pointed out to them, there is something wrong with you.

There is nothing worse than a person who tears down another because of their good works and before you say, "Tebow is against abortion, dur da dur". Well guess what, there are people with more money than him, more power than him, who support abortion and who have done jack shit to help the less fortunate.

[BainsBane]

63. If it had been true, he wouldn't have been a good person

He would have been just another hypocrite, which is particularly common among the Christian right. I don't watch football and know little about this guy, nothing really other than he is idolized by the right.

These kind of personal comments over nothing is a good reminder why posting on DU can be such an unpleasant experience. I stand properly chastened and reminded once again how I am not welcome on this site.

[cwydro]

64. But it's not true.

It does seem sad that you want something like this to be true.

Why?

[BainsBane]

65. Because hypocrisy is funny

It's like the evangelicals who preach against homosexuality but go to male prostitutes. I was raised to treat religion as a private matter. I tend to be suspicious of people who use it publicly to advance themselves.

[cwydro]

66. I agree with that.

But this didn't happen.

We don't have to make things up...sheesh, the idiots will step on themselves soon enough. Boehner and his diapers, the wide stance guy, all those preachers.

Let's not forget we have our own. John Edwards comes to mind. That episode made me sick to my stomach.

[BainsBane]

69. I did not make it up

The link demonstrates as much. It came across my FB feed and i thought it was real. When I discovered it was a hoax, I labeled it as such. Apparently that makes me a despicable human being, as does failing to worship right wing pro football players.

[cwydro]

70. I think you did the right thing by labeling it.

There have been several satire type threads here today. I think you are the only one who amended your OP.

I don't think you're a despicable human being. I hope I did not give you that impression.

I don't care for ANY NFL players actually, no matter their politics.

[dilby]

74. Bye, won't miss you and won't even care.

You support posting lies and untruths yet can't take the heat when someone calls you out. Then you say you like to call out every other hypocrite, well go ahead and enjoy looking at that mirror.

[RiffRandell]

71. Yep.

I don't like the guy preaching and as a huge football/sports fans (GO PATS!) chuckled as he choked, but he's not a bad guy, and I laughed more at the hype created by the NFL and such.

He doesn't bother me, and it speaks volumes that the OP doesn't follow sports yet wants to mock him.

Obviously the OP missed the Dallas game today.

[dilby]

73. The OP pretends not to know the guy.

Other than to say they know he is a favorite amongst right wingers which makes the OP either dense or a liar. I have read their body of work on this site so I am going to throw dense out the window. The world could use 2 or 3 more Tebows you may disagree with a couple of issues but you will support his overall mission.

[R B Garr]

75. How LAUGHABLE. Sorry, but Tebow is considered clownish.

You've never heard of Tebowing? You can't be serious. He was mocked by an entire nation for his bowing and praying. He cried on national TV after a loss and promised never to lose again -- his crying salvaged his team's season. Only Tebow gets away with that. You aren't kidding anybody with this phony tripe. Ugh.

[RiffRandell]

77. I'd bet my life you never heard of "Bradying".

I'm sure you haven't, you aren't a sports fan, but are and laugh when it suits you. Love Tom Brady and LMFAO at "Bradying."

Everything you disagree with here is full of nastiness.

He was mocked more for being A FUCKING SHITTY PLAYER but alas, you wouldn't know that.

I FUCKING LOVE having the last laugh on people who know NOTHING about sports!

Thanks!

[R B Garr]

80. Start a thread about Brady, then. LMAO.

I commented in a thread about Tebow. It's obvious how much you like to be the super cool female who is so prized by the MenZ because you know a football players name. OOOOhhh. WOW.

Speaking of nastiness, that's all I've seen from your little palsies when they stalk certain people here. It's so fucking obvious what your agenda is. I haven't seen you post, but now that BainsBane started a thread, you have an interest in it.

You're fucking hilarious yourself.

[RiffRandell]

82. No need to.

Pats clinched it.

So bizarre you take the time. Sad.

[R B Garr]

88. wtf are you talking about? LMAO.

I've seen this routine from you before -- right before you deleted all your posts the next day. And to think, I defended you during your last "episode".

[RiffRandell]

83. B, I'm the SUPER COOL FEMALE for more than that.

Step up your game!

[R B Garr]

87. Oh, don't you worry your little head, now.

You will get all the attention from the MenZ for being super cool because you watch the football on the television. Only you.

[RiffRandell]

90. Psssst: I have a few guy friends that hang around the food table

instead of watching the game and even take bathroom breaks!

[R B Garr]

91. yeah, thanks for sharing.

I'm sure it's a big feather in your cap how popular you are with the MenZ.

[RiffRandell]

92. Now, now don't be jealous, the woman love watching football too.

It's our damn huge televisions.

[R B Garr]

93. Oh, don't you worry you're little head about me now.

I'm not desperate. I'll be okay.

[RiffRandell]

95. Why are you trying to refer to me as deseperate?

I. I thought the "satire" was BS.

2. The guy is actually a better human being than I am and fully admit it.

So why am I desperate?

[R B Garr]

81. And Google "Tim Tebow crying". His phoniness is all over YouTube

Then Google Heisman. Tim Tebow won one of those, LMAO, talking about the LAST LAUGH.

That's why it's nothing but flaming to say that Tebow should be respected. That was the clue to the obvious bullshit.

[RiffRandell]

84. Awww, so you are mocking men that cry?

So not nice. Not surprised.

[R B Garr]

86. I was responding to the poster who was flaming BainsBane

for a bullshit reason. You, of course, jumped on that bandwagon. No surprise.

[egduj]

58. Kick for exposure.

This needs to get out there and picked up by the rest of the media.

[cwydro]

60. Good lord.

Read a little more thoroughly.

It is a fake headline. Stupid attempt at satire. I don't care about Tebow, but this shit is just so lame.

[SMC22307]

61. LOL

Have you not yet caught on that it's satire? And lousy satire at that.

[dawg]

67. Tebow's biggest sin was being a hated Gator. Otherwise ...

I have a real soft spot in my heart for the big galoot.

He seems like a nice man, and from what I am able to tell, he's willing to walk what he talks. That is rare.

[RiffRandell]

72. Truth. nt

[Dreamer Tatum]

76. Tebow's done more actual good in the last month than the OP has done, ever

I will wager.

But he's a Christian, don't you know, so his good deeds get ridiculed and divided by 1,000.

Some people have to tear others down to feel good about themselves.

[RiffRandell]

78. No fucking shit.

He hasn't falsely accused someone of rape over the internet. Gross.

[dawg]

89. No reason to slam OP, though.

She's just posting something she found on the net. I would bet that she has done lots of good things too.

[LanternWaste]

94. I think that same thing too when I come across your posts...

I think that same thing too when I come across your posts...


"Some people have to tear others down to feel good about themselves..."
Kinda like you just did with that bit pf passive-aggressive petulance. Holding others to a higher standard than we hold ourselves to is human nature. No worries.

[RiffRandell]

79. Satire just like your "threats" over at Discussionist.

Have at it everybody; it's the fucking truth.

Happy New Year!

[GOLGO 13]

96. Please God...let it be true

So many of his fans are so...special!