A Guide to the American Press

[Jackpine Radical]

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.


2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.


3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles


4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times.


5. The LA Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.


6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it.


7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.


8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.


9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who are in prison that used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.


10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.


11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.


12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.


13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

[still_one]

1. Not bad

[MFrohike]

2. Pretty good

Wasn't there something like this in an episode of Yes, Minister?

[Jackpine Radical]

4. Beats me.

I stole it from somewhere else.

[TexasProgresive]

14. Can't find an original source

This is in blogs all over the place. Here's a link to my favorite 2 idiots, Tom and Ray Magliozzi (May Tom rest in piece still cracking wise):
http://www.cartalk.com/content/who-reads-what-and-why

[GusBob]

3. Better #4?

Change the end to ......but don't really understand journalism. Or .....dont really understand the country

[nuxvomica]

6. Or are simply attracted to bright colors.

[riqster]

5. Excellent!

[Scuba]

7. USA Today is read by people in hotel rooms.

[mountain grammy]

8. Perfect and very funny (and true)

The Denver Post is a rag, read by idiots who voted for Cory Gardner.

[Dustlawyer]

9. Houston Chronicle?

[markpkessinger]

10. Very well done!

[bbgrunt]

11. haha! good one!

[alp227]

12. #9, #11, and #13 look like right wing talking points.

Otherwise funny. #9 sounds like something Glenn Beck said.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

13. I thought the Orange County Register was fish wrap.