Product Review: The Invisible Backpack of White Privilege From L.L. Bean

[ehrnst]

"The Invisible Backpack of White Privilege is pretty decent, I guess. I’ve had one as long as I can remember. My parents said it just showed up in the mail when I was born, and L.L. Bean’s policy is to replace the backpack for free if it ever breaks, so I don’t have anything to compare it to. It’s $8 extra to get your initials monogrammed, which I personally think should be free of charge. The backpack comes in different colors, more recently Irish, Italian, and Buffalo Plaid.

The Invisible Backpack of White Privilege is great for carrying questionable things like weed, Ponzi schemes, and sex crimes. I have lived in dense urban areas my whole life, and the cops never once search my Invisible Backpack. Then again, that’s probably just because, like people always tell me, I have a really trustworthy vibe as a person.

My roommate Sam has a *visible* backpack from Northface, which he says cost him so much that he and his family are still paying for it, whatever that means. Personally, I prefer function over trend. Sam had the nerve to suggest that if I were to trade my backpack for his backpack, I’d see what he means. I told him if he’s really that dissatisfied with his own backpack, he should just return it to the store and buy one like mine instead of criticizing me all the time, because from what I can see, my backpack’s only advantage is that it comes with a more positive attitude and frugal spending habit than all the other backpacks. He got really quiet and things between us have grown uncomfortable."

more at:


http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/product-review-the-invisible-backpack-of-white-privilege-from-ll-bean

[Octafish]

1. Great product review. Outstanding essay. Thank you, ehrnst!

From the OP:

The Invisible Backpack of White privilege can occasionally get pretty heavy. It’s one design flaw is a hidden zipper compartment on the bottom containing anonymous multitudes slaughtered in the name of Western Civilization, yet I have no idea who these people are or where they come from. I inquired about it with an L.L. Bean customer service representative, who seemed to know nothing about the product. Thankfully, the manager was very familiar with the demands of my backpack, and explained to me that without this secret pocket, the backpack could not exist. It is a burden I complain about often, but could never imagine actually taking off.

[Kalidurga]

3. Signed up to post all of that, eh?

I admire how you say so much with so few words.

I got the part where you don't get it. And there is no shame in that so long as you are willing to ask questions and learn.

So here is the thing. If you are white you are a whole lot less to be stopped and questioned by the police because they think you might have done something. If you are white and a CEO you are unlikely to be arrested even if you blatantly rip off thousands of people. If you are white and a hetrosexual male you are very very unlikely to be arrested for a sex crime unless you are looking for a prostitute in a "bad neighborhood".

[bluedigger]

5. It's not Maine's (and LL Bean's) fault it's so white.

Some things are just a matter of historical record.

Still, pretty funny, and a good choice for satire.

[arely staircase]

6. where is this place where white people are allowed to smoke weed?

Other than Colorado, Washington and Amsterdam? I understand white privilege. But I have been reading some posts lately that make it sound like white people can shop lift while smoking crack and the cops will hold the door for them.

[belzabubba333]

10. all the time you mean you dont know?

white priviledge means it's my fault a bully picked on you instead of me

[arely staircase]

11. well I suggest white people continue to hide their weed

Until further notice.

[aikoaiko]

8. LL Bean has an awesome return policy of garuanteed for life.

When I was a poor college student in the northeast I would buy their wool socks and return them when I work out the heels. They always obliged me new sets.

[Nye Bevan]

9. I bet this guy is kicking himself for not getting one:

[ehrnst]

13. That episode totally negates white privilege, doesn't it?

I guess you told DU, huh?

[Nye Bevan]

14. Ya think? (nt)

[ehrnst]

15. Clearly not on your level. (nt)

[Blue_Tires]

12. brilliant!