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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCheney Calls for International Ban on Torture Reports
By Andy Borowitz
[link:http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/cheney-calls-international-ban-torture-reports|
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Former Vice-President Dick Cheney on Tuesday called upon the nations of the world to once and for all ban the despicable and heinous practice of publishing torture reports.
Like many Americans, I was shocked and disgusted by the Senate Intelligence Committees publication of a torture report today, Cheney said in a prepared statement. The transparency and honesty found in this report represent a gross violation of our nations values.
The publication of torture reports is a crime against all of us, he added. Not just those of us who have tortured in the past, but every one of us who might want to torture in the future.
Saying that the Senates horrifying publication had inspired him to act, he vowed, As long as I have air to breathe, I will do everything in my power to wipe out the scourge of torture reports from the face of the Earth.
Cheney concluded his statement by calling for an international conference on the issue of torture reports. I ask all the great nations of the world to stand up, expose the horrible practice of publishing torture reports, and say, This is not who we are, Cheney said.
[link:http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/cheney-calls-international-ban-torture-reports|
snappyturtle
(14,656 posts)Scootaloo
(25,699 posts)Unfortunately the way things are today, political satirists are losing work; nothing you make up can be stranger than reality.
Marie Marie
(9,999 posts)torture love fest. Hey Sean, remember when you offered to be water-boarded and then you chickened out and never did it? Well, wouldn't it make a great show if Cheney was the one to actually do it to you? Come on, think of the ratings you would get and you know that Cheney would just LOVE to do it . See, its a win-win for you and your BFF.