Fascinating conversation I just overheard on the bus:

[Brigid]

A man and a woman who knew each other got on and started talking. I was paying no attention until:

Man: But he beats on her.

Woman: She deserves it.

Man: I don't believe you said that. He shouldn't beat on her. Damn.

Woman: She's a liar.

Man: I know she is, but that don't mean he should beat on her. Damn.

They got off shortly after. The things I hear on the bus. I ought to write a book.

[leftynyc]

1. How old were these people? (n/t)

[Brigid]

4. Hard to tell.

I would say mid thirties.

[TreasonousBastard]

2. It pays to remember that women can be every bit...

as judgmental and unforgiving as men can be brutal.

Take the gender out of it and it's just that people often suck. Too often.

[leftynyc]

3. Even more so

Any defense attorney will tell you they don't want women on the jury of a rape case.

[Brigid]

5. A defense attorney would not want me on a jury . . .

If it was a rape case. The first hint of him or her trying to insinuate that the victim somehow "deserved" to be raped, they would lose me.

[msanthrope]

6. Yes, I do, and have successfully had clients acquitted with majority female juries. nt

[leftynyc]

8. I have no doubt you have

but the friends and family I have in law all say the same thing - women are much harder on other women than men are. Every single one has told me that.

[Control-Z]

7. I was a juror on a rape case.

More men than women. It took us days to get two, then just the one, old white guy to understand that no woman deserves to be raped, for any reason.

[KitSileya]

9. Very often it's a sub-conscious defense mechanism.

If he beats her because she deserves it, then I won't be beaten because I'd never do anything to deserve a beating. If she was raped because her skirt was so short, well, then there's something I can do to prevent getting raped besides trusting to luck.

Our sub-consciousnesses are very aware of how much of potential victims we are, and anything that may give us a glimmer of hope it won't happen to us (or won't happen to us again) is glommed onto pretty hard. To acknowledge that we don't know which men will rape us, that knowing a guy is no assurance that he won't rape us, that we don't know whether our significant other will beat us one day, knowing that we most likely will be blamed if it does happen - anyone might fall into magical thinking when faced with reality.