General Discussion

ErikJ

(6,335 posts) Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:34 PM Apr 2012

Ted Nugent Jokes

"Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak."

"If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese."

"Big bangs don't make this, ... That's not a big bang. God made that. That's a liver. That's mystical. You and I can't make livers. Things banging don't make livers. This is mystical stuff. This is magic. This is perfection."

"Mr. Janet Reno? I think Mr. Janet Reno... I think he's one of the best hunting dogs in the world."

"My idea of fast food is a mallard."

21 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Ted Nugent Jokes (Original Post) ErikJ Apr 2012 OP

The only lions that chickenshit eats are dandelions. mmonk Apr 2012 #1

I can just picture this mindwalker_i Apr 2012 #4

. mmonk Apr 2012 #6

And underage beaver ErikJ Apr 2012 #5

In the words of Lisa Lubner: That's so funny I forgot to laugh. Marie Marie Apr 2012 #2

Yes, he is a joke. n/t Fumesucker Apr 2012 #3

Cue the Price is Right failure music. MrSlayer Apr 2012 #7

Here ya go... krispos42 Apr 2012 #12

Nice. MrSlayer Apr 2012 #13

"Ted Nugent Jokes" is redundant..... lastlib Apr 2012 #8

"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..." lastlib Apr 2012 #9

And the winner is... Kalidurga Apr 2012 #10

Ted Nugent... krispos42 Apr 2012 #11

What do Seamus and Ted have in common? ErikJ Apr 2012 #14

Wonder what's his favorite road kill? Lint Head Apr 2012 #15

Ted arrived home one day to find his girlfriend storming out... Frank Cannon Apr 2012 #16

OKAY ...I finally found it.. Ted Nugent "killed" on Miami Vice.. AsahinaKimi Apr 2012 #17

that was satisfying CatWoman Apr 2012 #18

This is the biggest Ted Nugent joke ever: Erose999 Apr 2012 #19

The Nuge can deflect bullets with the power of his awesome guitar solo.... Erose999 Apr 2012 #20

Next year Nuge's contract is up with the NRA. Now that he's a Free Agent, NAMBLA has made a bid. Erose999 Apr 2012 #21

mmonk

(52,589 posts)

1. The only lions that chickenshit eats are dandelions.

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:37 PM

Apr 2012

mindwalker_i

(4,407 posts)

4. I can just picture this

Reply to mmonk (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:40 PM

Apr 2012

Nugent chewing and licking his chops for hours trying to get the wispy seeds out of his mouth. Like a dig with peanut butter.

mmonk

(52,589 posts)

6. .

Reply to mindwalker_i (Reply #4)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:42 PM

Apr 2012

ErikJ

(6,335 posts)

5. And underage beaver

Reply to mmonk (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:42 PM

Apr 2012

Marie Marie

(9,999 posts)

2. In the words of Lisa Lubner: That's so funny I forgot to laugh.

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:38 PM

Apr 2012

He is an embarrassment to the human race.

Fumesucker

(45,851 posts)

3. Yes, he is a joke. n/t

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:38 PM

Apr 2012

MrSlayer

(22,143 posts)

7. Cue the Price is Right failure music.

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Wed Apr 18, 2012, 11:46 PM

Apr 2012

Brr brr badrrrrr....bwaaaarrrrrrr.

Asshole.

krispos42

(49,445 posts)

12. Here ya go...

Reply to MrSlayer (Reply #7)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:41 AM

Apr 2012

MrSlayer

(22,143 posts)

13. Nice.

Reply to krispos42 (Reply #12)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 01:43 AM

Apr 2012

Haha

lastlib

(23,239 posts)

8. "Ted Nugent Jokes" is redundant.....

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:11 AM

Apr 2012

lastlib

(23,239 posts)

9. "Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:13 AM

Apr 2012

"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."
"Romney campaign spokesman Ted Nugent..."

Kalidurga

(14,177 posts)

10. And the winner is...

Reply to lastlib (Reply #9)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:20 AM

Apr 2012

Obama. Thanks made my day errrrrrr night.

krispos42

(49,445 posts)

11. Ted Nugent...

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 12:40 AM

Apr 2012

ErikJ

(6,335 posts)

14. What do Seamus and Ted have in common?

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 01:46 AM

Apr 2012

Diarrhea. hahaha

Lint Head

(15,064 posts)

15. Wonder what's his favorite road kill?

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 03:23 AM

Apr 2012

Frank Cannon

(7,570 posts)

16. Ted arrived home one day to find his girlfriend storming out...

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 07:31 AM

Apr 2012

with all her bags packed.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm leaving you. I just found out you're a pedophile," she said.

"Well, now, that's a pretty big word for a twelve-year-old."

AsahinaKimi

(20,776 posts)

17. OKAY ...I finally found it.. Ted Nugent "killed" on Miami Vice..

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 07:57 AM

Apr 2012

Looking back, a satisfying moment in TV History...

CatWoman

(79,302 posts)

18. that was satisfying

Reply to AsahinaKimi (Reply #17)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:06 AM

Apr 2012

Erose999

(5,624 posts)

19. This is the biggest Ted Nugent joke ever:

Reply to ErikJ (Original post)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:27 AM

Apr 2012

&ob=av2e

I've read reports that Nuge is hiding contraband related to domestic terrorism in one or more of his bodily orifices. The anonymous source did not specify which particular orifice(s) so the Secret Service should probably search them all, just to be sure.

Erose999

(5,624 posts)

20. The Nuge can deflect bullets with the power of his awesome guitar solo....

Reply to Erose999 (Reply #19)

Thu Apr 19, 2012, 08:44 AM

Apr 2012

I don't know if the power of rock n' roll will protect him from a cavity search though.

Erose999

(5,624 posts)

21. Next year Nuge's contract is up with the NRA. Now that he's a Free Agent, NAMBLA has made a bid.