Republicans Demand Return of Passive Obama
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Congressional Republicans on Friday expressed outrage at the new leadership style that President Obama has demonstrated in the aftermath of the midterm elections, and demanded a return of the “passive and unassertive Obama to which we have grown accustomed.”
In a joint statement, House Speaker John Boehner and his counterpart in the Senate, Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, accused Obama of “engaging in a flagrant display of leadership that we find deeply offensive.”
“For the past six years, we have enjoyed a President who has been conciliatory and acquiescent to the point of masculation,” Boehner said. “We want that President back.”
McConnell threatened that if Obama does not return to his weak and ineffectual ways at once, “he will face the prospect of being a two-term President.”
At the White House, the President did not respond to the Republicans’ remarks, telling reporters that he planned to work through the weekend raising the minimum wage, granting amnesty to immigrants, and legalizing marijuana.
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