Reporter undergoes ‘unnecessary’ transvaginal ultrasound to frame abortion debate
-Snip-
But few have actually gone through the procedure—which is why Megan Carpentier, executive editor of the progressive news site Raw Story, decided to have a "completely unnecessary transvaginal ultrasound" and document the experience for readers.
"It was vigorously uncomfortable," Carpentier wrote, partly "because the technician has to press the wand directly against the areas she wants to get an image of—your uterus, Fallopian tubes and ovaries—so there's more movement and more direct contact with pressure-sensitive areas of your body."
Carpentier continued:
You're also not lying flat on your back to facilitate access to the upper reaches of your vagina; and you're being penetrated with a longer, rigid object than is used in a regular pelvic exam. In my case, as the technician explained after, my uterus is "high," or tilted toward my abdomen, so she had to tilt the wand accordingly—and because it was so uncomfortable, she halted the exam before fully exploring my Fallopian tubes or ovaries. If I had been pregnant (which I knew I was not), the exam might have lasted longer as she looked to rule out an ectopic pregnancy and locate the minuscule gestational sac.
It was not, however, like being raped, despite all the furor-generating headlines and "Doonesbury" cartoons that were printed. It was uncomfortable to the point of being painful, emotionally triggering (and undoubtedly is moreso for victims of rape or incest or any woman in the midst of an already-emotional experience) and something that no government should force its citizens to undergo to make a political point. But it wasn't like being raped—and using language like that not only minimizes rape for its survivors but makes them and other women more frightened of the procedure, which has significant and important medical uses.
Link to rest: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/reporter-megan-carpentier-undergoes-unnecessary-transvaginal-ultrasound-frame-155926605.html
= new reply since forum marked as read
Sometimes I take shortcuts with my comments, my bad. I would do a wave, but I don't know where the smilies disappeared to. 
I had tons of support, and was pretty emotionally healthy to start with (and a few years older than you at 18). Until 20 years later, I thought I was over it - aside from a little PTSD now and again that didn't really interfere with my life. Then my psyche decided I was ready to deal with parts of it I had tucked away in some dark little corner. Bam.
I went back through everything I went through in the immediate aftermath - much more quickly - but it was way more intense because it was so compact. And I had friends who work with survivors of trauma tell me I should probably seek professional help. I believed then, and still believe 15 years later, that we all heal at our own pace, it truly is never completely over, and that each of us have some sort of built in governor which lets us see and deal with parts of the trauma at the pace at which we are ready to do so.
Stay strong, my friend.
The message that we deserved it is so strong that it is really hard to overcome, particularly back in the 60s which were pretty much the dark ages in terms of blaming the victim.
My mother's first words, when I informed her by phone that I had been raped were, "Were you doing something you shouldn't have been doing?" Intellectually, I know that what she said came from the impotence of having a daughter, in pain, 1000 miles away at college. That intellectual knowledge doesn't erase the sting, but it is a gift that I have always been able to see the source of that painful question, as well as to reject the common wisdom that I must have done something to deserve it. I say gift, because I have no idea where it came from, or why I have never felt the guilt or self-doubt that you have - and so many women do.
Something I have learned may help you let go of the pain in connection with your mother. I volunteered as a peer counselor for a decade as a hospital advocate, among other things. Women always requested (and I always dreaded) a woman gynecologist doing the rape exam. They were, on average, much more likely to be harsh on the survivor whose hand I was holding. One of the things women do, even more frequently than men, is to blame women who are raped. It is not so much that we are hard on each other, it is a mechanism for self-protection. Rape messages are so common in our culture that at least subconsciously its possibility is never too far away. If I can figure out what "you" did to deserve it, and it is something I would never do (or that I can avoid doing in the future), I can imagine it might not happen to me. Your mother may have just been protecting herself. That doesn't make it excusable, or mean that you need to forgive her. But it may help you understand, and perhaps take some of the sting out of it.
Of course you are not to blame, and you should not have had to carry that burden for half a century. 
Since she consented it was not rape.
