The Politics of Family Dysfunction
Yesterday I posted an essay titled “Family Violence,” that focused on one type of domestic violence, child abuse. Although my rants and ramblings are no longer high profile on this forum, I was pleased with the thoughtful and insightful responses. Quite a few people agreed that there are alternatives to physical violence for teaching discipline to children and youth. Here is a link to that OP/thread, for anyone who might be interested:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025538723
I thought that it might be of interest to follow that up, with an essay on “family systems.” As I noted yesterday, the family is the basic building block of the community. Thus, family systems have a significant impact upon the larger society. Although I retired from a career in social work more than a decade ago, these are among the things that I think about when I watch the news on television …..and not just with the ugly events associated with the NFL, but everything from war to the economy to Robin Williams.
As a social worker, I dealt primarily with what are inelegantly known as “dysfunctional families.” And not the average, every day, all-American dysfunctional family that manages to get by, and is able to deal with problems as they arise. Rather, I worked with families that, for a variety of reasons, became entangled in the legal system.
Before going on, I want to say that I believe it is better not to view these issues in a judgmental way. As a general rule, my focus was always to help families identify options to improve the quality of their lives. And that wasn’t a result of some Polly Anna, rose-colored glasses view of human nature. I encountered some violent individuals who deserved the prison sentences they got.
There are a number of dynamics that can cause dysfunction in a family system; some of these may be temporary, while others tend to become entrenched. It is the entrenched ones that tend to create multi-generational difficulties. Domestic violence (against spouses and/or children), addiction, poverty, and serious illnesses and death can all cause dysfunction. Family violence is, of course, in the news now, and hence is my focus today.
Years ago, a model was created that maps the general roles that children living in dysfunctional families tend to take. It is based upon a “four children family system.” A good movie, “The Breakfast Club,” illustrated those roles -- and showed both the positive and negative potentials of each of those roles. (Families, like individuals, are fluid, living entities, and so such roles are not life sentences.)
These roles tend to go in order of birth. They include:
-- The “family hero,” who tends to be a high-achieving individual, who tries to get perfect grades and to be a top athlete;
-- The “lost child,” who tends to attract relatively little attention to him- or herself;
-- The “wild child,” who creates tension at home, in school, and in the community; and
-- The “clown,” who uses humor to relieve family tensions.
A person who inhabits any one of these roles will find ways to get their needs met. There is, of course, a very real potential that the ways that, say, a teenager in a dysfunctional family gets his/her needs met will not be skills that translate well into the larger society. Hence, while I definitely believe that parents have the right to decide how to raise their children, I understand that family dynamics have consequences for the larger society.
Family dysfunction is not limited to any one economic class. However, “the system” does tend to focus more on low-income families. While the concept of “foster care” was intended to protect children and youth who were at risk of being seriously harmed, it has sadly become, far too often, a pipeline to the prison-industrial complex. On the flip side, in wealthy families, such dysfunction can produce a George W. Bush, who as an adult has the force of law to enable his personal pathology.
I mention Bush, not simply to take a jab at the man who led the effort to destabilize the Middle East, but to make another point. This is a political forum, by and large. When we think about the world of politics, and view it in the context of a high school classroom, using those four roles, we can see clearly who is getting their needs met, and who is not. Which “kids” become political and business leaders. Which kids are more or less likely to see the connection between voting, and the reality of their every day lives.
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