A story of about my one and done Nude Selfie---that almost turned into an epic disaster.

[trumad]

This story is to be used for educational material. If you are prone to Gag Reflex please read at own risk. Keep children and small farm animals away from this post. Do not try this at home unless you have weird and perverted tendencies.

Ready?

A couple of years back I woke up from a good nights sleep and was stunned at what lay before me. As most men know, we wake up with a nice surprise below the sheets. AND as most men know-- ya simply gotta pee.

Anyhow-- I was shocked. It was like a dream had come true--- rare but beautiful dream. Was I Alien abducted during the night and was this their way of playing a practical joke on me.

Needless to say I had to capture the moment. I reached over to my nightstand, grabbed my cell phone, opened the camera App, focused---and then took my first and last nude selfie.

I then opened the picture and there it was--- the most hideous and frightening thing I've ever seen. (Gag Reflex here it comes)

I've never been that photogenic.

After recovering from the close up monstrosity, I deleted the picture and never looked back.

UNTIL a year later---my 19 year old daughter asked me if I still had a picture of her and one of her girlfriends. I said sure Honey---it's on my Photobucket. (To those who don't know Photobucket--it's a service that uploads your pictures to the cloud as soon as you take the picture). YES---I had the Photobucket App on my cellphone.

So here I am, looking for my daughters picture, her sitting next to me---Daughter and Daddy together.

I'm scrolling looking for her picture and then --BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!!!

There it was---in all it's glory---one-eyed Jack looking like Keith Richards.

By the fortune of God, Buddha, Mohammed and every other Ghost out there--my daughter was distracted by her Mother--she turned away at the very moment Jack appeared. Possibly the fastest delete in the history of the Tubes. If she did see it her therapy would have cost me thousands.

Here is the lesson for today Boy's and Girls.

You take a picture on your phone and you want to delete it--Ya better make sure ---if you have Cloud service---that you deleted from there as well. I know better and I still made that mistake. The Celebs that are caught up the last couple of days in the nude selfie scandal most likely made the same mistake I did. All it takes is for some douchebag to get your user name and password and they got your shit.

So there you go---trumad's nude selfie story. Now go throw up.

tru

[NuclearDem]

1. ...

[LittleBlue]

6. +1

What is this I don't even

[PasadenaTrudy]

7. TMI...too much information! n/t

[Scootaloo]

39. +2

[itsrobert]

2. I tried the selfie thing

but I couldn't get the phone/camera far back enough to get the full image.

[trumad]

3. Braggart.

[NuclearDem]

8. I think you're actually looking for the zoom function.

[RKP5637]

51. ...

[Stargazer09]

53. ...

[valerief]

9. Hopefully someday you'll lose that big paunch.

[leftstreet]

4. SHUT DU DOWN!!!111

[trumad]

5. No---just Discussionist will do.

[JustAnotherGen]

10. And this is why

You are one of my favorites!

[whistler162]

11. nude and selfie not a near epic disaster

it is a epic disaster.

[GusBob]

12. jesus dude way TMI

Did you have to include who ya almost showed the pic to? You could say "someone who didn't need to see"

I get the moral of your story but discretion is the better part of valor. The story is puke worthy enough no need to include that person in the visual

[trumad]

13. that's how I roll!

[A HERETIC I AM]

18. 233 posts in 4 years, and you decided this was the subject for today?

Seriously?

Really?

I thought the OP was well written and humorous.

I get the moral of your story but discretion is the better part of valor. The story is puke worthy enough no need to include that person in the visual

"Puke worthy"? The fact that Trumad was discussing his morning wood and taking a pic of it is 'Puke Worthy'?!? REALLY?

Sheesh.

[trumad]

20. Discretion is boring...

Poor Gus.

[A HERETIC I AM]

21. LOL

Rock on, ol fella!



And FWIW, in case you weren't aware, your avatar pic was prez when I was born, and there were only 49 states. 5 months earlier there were only 48

[trumad]

25. I'll be 57 on the 5th..

And I was born in 57.

[A HERETIC I AM]

27. Happy Birthday, ya old fart!

I've been working on my 56th trip around our nearest star for 4 months now.

[trumad]

28. My wife has planned a pub crawl around a little town

In Central Florida. Mount Dora.

I love shit like that.... friends, pubs, food, etc...The simple pleasures of life.

[A HERETIC I AM]

32. Lovely area of the state

Very pretty around there.

Good luck with the pub crawl!

Anything would be better than the way I spent my 55th - in the Hospital with a COPD flare-up! Yay!

[TransitJohn]

38. Goddamn prudish much?

Get a grip.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. funny man. thanks for the personal ... uhm ... reflection ...

[undeterred]

15. Sounds like something a 12 year old boy would do.

[trumad]

19. That's what my wife said.

[A HERETIC I AM]

22. ....

[B Calm]

16. LOL +1

[Tikki]

17. I hope you had your Photobucket set on "private"...

I usually post historical monuments photos there for all to see...


Tikki

[tblue37]

26. Apparently, so did he. nt

[Tikki]

33. Tee hee...

Tikki

[WilliamPitt]

23. .

[trumad]

24. Looking forward to seeing that Dolphin Avatar.

[pnwmom]

29. Thanks for the laugh, and the reminder, and people should certainly be cautious.

But it also looks like Apple screwed up.

http://www.businessweek.com/news/2014-09-01/celebrity-nude-photo-hack-may-be-breach-of-apple-s-icloud

Apple has fixed a bug in its “Find My iPhone” software that may have allowed hackers to gain access to the celebrity iCloud accounts, the Engadget technology website reported, citing developers.

Trudy Muller, a spokeswoman for Apple, didn’t return an e-mail and phone messages seeking comment. The company is closed for the U.S. Labor Day holiday.

[trumad]

30. yep...

They breached the cloud. Wow...not good.

[heaven05]

31. chuckle

but good advice, for me, for you, for everyone.

[LiberalArkie]

34. Several years ago when Apple was working on the Photo Stream on the iPhone

As developers were prone to do with the new software one of the developers and probably most of them took a nude selfie just to check it out. Reminder that this had not been released yet and was in early beta. One of the developers had an active sync type wallpaper on his desktop. Wife was at home on the desktop. He takes a picture and yes it worked. She screamed and he said he ran out of the bathroom and nearly fainted when saw what she was looking at. All of us had to wait 30 days until Apple enabled us to use a delete feature so we could remove it from the stream. You could delete it off the camera, computer whatever and bingo it would pop back there because it was still in the cloud.

[Dem_in_Nebr.]

41. ROFL!!!

For some reason, that's even funnier than the OP!!

I'll drink to that!

[TransitJohn]

35. You didn't know you had permissions set to autoupload?

That sounds like you just accepted default installation without reading.

[Ruby the Liberal]

36. Did not know that photobucket did that

Thanks for the PSA. Not vomit inducing in the least - its a good lesson to learn (and thanks for taking one for the team so the rest of us don't find out the hard way - so to speak).

[progressoid]

37. Bad. Veddy veddy veddy bad.

[Half-Century Man]

40. Waking up looking like Kieth Richards......

The all of me does that on a semi-regular basis, not just the some of me.

By the way, nice reflexes on the cloud delete.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

42. Dude, that's nothing --

I was on FB one Sunday morning and I scrolled to see a co-workers new pix from his camping trip. Right there in the news feed, among some pretty landscape shots, was a close-up of an erection. From the color of the hair, I assumed it was my friend. I should add my friend has 600+ "friends" in FB. I immediately dialed his number -- it went straight to VM. His phone had blown up with calls from folks telling asking him if meant that to be posted.

600. Hundred. People.

[War Horse]

43. :)

I'm so glad all those shots that I've ever been involved in are from the early 90's. I kind of still feel sorry for all those folks who had to *develop* those shots....

[C Moon]

44. I started laughing at the part about your daughter asking if you still had her picture...

Because I knew what was coming.
Great story!—and information!

[Lancero]

45. A lot of people rarely bother securing photo's like that

I've been buying (From yardsales. flea markets, pawn shop) or salvaging (Junkyards, dumpsters, side of the road) old computers and various other electronics for a decade now, so I've seen - many times - just how little some people care about securing photo's like that.

It was amusing for the first couple of years, but after a while it lost the hilarity.

[Doctor_J]

46. she probably wouldn't have recognized it anyway

"What's that dad?"

"I er took a picture of a tornado once".

[Gormy Cuss]

47. This thread is useless without pictures

Someone had to go there.

[ScreamingMeemie]

48. I could have lived a long, long time without that...

[Nye Bevan]

50. "Trumad's nude selfie". Three words that should never really appear together. (nt)

[840high]

52. This made me laugh. Carry on.