It is amazing how black men can keep their sanity despite the insanity that happens to them.

[sheshe2]

a word from don


Michael Brown

It is amazing how black men can keep their sanity despite the insanity that happens to them.

I remember one time I took my wife to a medical appointment at an office building, usually I drop her off at the entrance and I wait in my car in the parking lot usually listening to music or talk radio. Anyway this one time I decided to go in the lobby to use the rest room. As I exited my car this white lady was walking towards me, the look of fear she had or her face was palpable, she clutched her purse so tight her hands turned red. As usual I smiled at her to ease her fears, see I’ve discovered that when I run into white people on a one on one situation I smile just so they will feel comfortable.

I’m tired of smiling; I’m tired of having to worry about some stranger feeling comfortable or uncomfortable in my presence. Why is it that when I’m the only black person in an elevator with a bunch of white peoples, nobody smiles to make me feel comfortable?

snip

The average black man will tell you, if he’s lived long enough, that he’s discovered certain mechanisms he uses to make people feel comfortable in his presence. So now another black kid is dead under unclear circumstances, another black community is in pain, and another policeman is on paid administrative leave.

By this time tomorrow we’ll know everything this young black kid has done since he left his mother’s womb, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. I’ve got an eight year old son; I used to wonder about what college he will attend or what does he want to do when he grows up. As black men we’ve learned to focus our thinking on the present more so than on the future when it comes to our black boys.

Read More: http://theobamadiary.com/2014/08/10/a-word-from-don-2/#more-183248

[Stargleamer]

1. Even more amazing is how African-American women are never considered in such commentaries. . . n/t

[sheshe2]

5. Black men are more at risk to be shot down.

And this commentary is about the death of Michael Brown on Saturday.

Grief and Protests Follow Shooting of a Teenager
Police Say Mike Brown Was Killed After Struggle for Gun in St. Louis Suburb

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/11/us/police-say-mike-brown-was-killed-after-struggle-for-gun.html

[Cha]

2. Thank you, she~

Michael Brown RIP

[sheshe2]

7. Thank you Cha.

May Michael RIP. Sadly his family never will.

[pnwmom]

3. Women who are alone have to be careful smiling at any man of any race,

unless they're old enough so that the man won't think they're coming on.

http://www.wired.com/2011/08/science-behind-smiles/

But there’s another big difference between the perception of smiles. When a woman smiles, men tend to see it as flirtatiousness, even when it has nothing to do with flirtatiousness. Whereas when a woman sees a smile on anybody’s face, man or another woman, she is much more likely to make differentiated judgments and see it as a happy, nervous, embarrassed or fake smile.

[Uncle Joe]

4. I believe there is some truth to that but I've had many women smile back at me.

I believe body language and the amount of eye contact may have something to do with it as well.

It's easy for me to imagine though that if I were black, there would be additional psychological hurdles to overcome as well.

[slipslidingaway]

8. I smile and hold doors regardless of gender and race ...

not sure what that makes me.



I think some of the hurdles are imagined ... and some are not. But I would prefer to try and frame these gestures as manners, not as black vs. white.

[Uncle Joe]

9. It's the same here in Nashville, virtually everybody regardless of race or gender holds a door open.

But I have no doubt that African Americans face additional psychological hurdles in having to overcome white perceptions of them which has been thoroughly instilled by our culture; both overtly and subliminally.

Watching police treatment, arrest records and the disparity in the U.S. prison population is clear evidence of underlying bigotry and racism.

I see no way that kind of present day legal/judicial disparity coupled with history can't bleed over to white perceptions, either consciously or subconsciously.

[slipslidingaway]

12. Guess I would prefer a different framing if we want to break the barriers ...

speaking of what happened to a black/Asian/gay/female/Muslim/Christian/Jewish people does help to identify certain prejudices within our society, but I'm not convinced that always pointing out the differences helps in the long run. We should object to these atrocities because they are against human beings first and foremost.

Not saying I want to totally ignore the racial disparities, just wish there was more emphasis placed on the human aspect.

[Uncle Joe]

17. I honestly believe we're headed to a day when using identity labels won't be

necessary but we're not there yet.

It seems like I see more interracial relationships every day and this continuous merging will diminish race identity over time.

But in the meantime disparities must be labeled for what they are, because that is reality and you can't rectify those current day injustices without acknowledging the underlying cause.

Personally I try to keep in mind there is only one race, that being human.

Peace to you, slipslidingaway.

[slipslidingaway]

20. We are headed there and everyone will be blended ...

and it will be great ... until we find another reason to fight

I try and not point out disparities according to race/gender etc. I know they exist, but I prefer first to point out the human aspect and try to leave race/gender/religion as a second thought.

[sheshe2]

13. If there was a struggle for the gun then the officer unlocked his weapon.

That's disturbing Uncle Joe. He unlocked his weapon on an unarmed teen. And yes they were African American. There are other means to subdue a person. As you said here

Watching police treatment, arrest records and the disparity in the U.S. prison population is clear evidence of underlying bigotry and racism.

Another sad day for America. I am ashamed.

[Uncle Joe]

18. I agree, sheshe and it's only one of a multitude of brutal transgressions.

I posted on another thread, I believe every police officer in the nation should be required to wear a camera and microphone on their shirts while on duty.

Peace to you.

[sheshe2]

19. Now that is an excellent idea Uncle Joe.

A camera and a microphone just like on their cars. And there needs to be a way that they can not shut them off!

Peace to you as well.

[Uncle Joe]

21. There is already evidence this works.

On a thread by damnedifIknow.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025205873

Police brutality statistics apparently fell by 60 percent in one California town when all police officers were required to wear portable video cameras while on the job.

In a related report by The Inquisitr, a video of a CHP officer punching a fallen woman 11 times in the face went viral after it was filmed by a passing driver. But another video was even worse since it showed Albuquerque police shooting two suspects in the back, never mind when a homeless man was shot in the back.

The city of Rialto, California did a controlled study where the city’s 70 police officers were required to wear a video camera that recorded all of their interactions with the public. In 2012 alone complaints against Rialto police officers fell by 88 percent, while use of force by officers fell by almost 60 percent."

* Of course, one huge negative to outfitting every cop with a camera is public privacy concerns. But even the American Civil Liberties Union, which is usually quick to protest anything that might infringe upon personal privacy, says that the notable drop in police brutality statistics is worth it:

“Although we generally take a dim view of the proliferation of surveillance cameras in American life, police on-body cameras are different because of their potential to serve as a check against the abuse of power by police officers.”

http://www.inquisitr.com/1337944/police-brutality-statistics-in-the-united-states-fell-by-60-percent-when-cops-wear-video-cameras/

I consider any privacy issue in the case of police wearing body cameras and possibly mics to be overridden by their daily intrinsic power to arrest and potentially kill members of the public.

In this case justice overrides privacy.

[sheshe2]

23. Well, daaaaayyummm.

That's good news!

[NJCher]

29. wow, thanks for posting that

I've been even more troubled about this that usual since the Garner choke hold case in NY. This would be something we could advocate that would have some measurable effect.

There needs to be constant work with police to keep them in a frame of mind where they don't do these kinds of things. There isn't one answer, but this sure sounds like it could be one very powerful start.


Cher

[sheshe2]

10. Well no. The hurdles are not imagined.

Beyond Trayvon: Black and Unarmed
As the trial unfolds, remember that it's nothing new for a black man without a weapon to be killed.

http://www.theroot.com/photos/2013/06/unarmed_black_men_shot_by_police_20_sad_stories.html

There is more if you care to look.

[slipslidingaway]

14. NOT what I said, please read...

I think some of the hurdles are imagined ... and some are not.

[lib87]

15. Thank You She She

Countless studies show bias to be true but it appears to fall on deaf ears to some. Even numerous personal anecdotes don't make a dent. I get so worn down from "Yeah racism is real but" discussions.

[slipslidingaway]

26. Racism Exists, but what perpetuates racism ...

we need to begin to change the framing from a black youth was killed to a Youth was killed.

We can say that he was black, but that should not be the central theme IMHO. I Know that racism exists, but how do you change the perception of a person being killed? They were a person! Let us not continue the us vs. them mentality.

Whether they were black, white, Palestinian, Israeli, African, Asian, gay, old ... we should not target a class of people.

[lib87]

32. " Racism Exists, but.."

Always the but!

[sheshe2]

31. I am glad you do that.

Yet the point is not how you feel or I would feel. The whole point of the OP is about how POC feel, how they react and how they are reacted to. It's about them, not you or I as a white person.

I’m tired of smiling; I’m tired of having to worry about some stranger feeling comfortable or uncomfortable in my presence. Why is it that when I’m the only black person in an elevator with a bunch of white peoples, nobody smiles to make me feel comfortable?

It is not about us. It is about how they feel, it is not up to you or me to tell them how to react.

[sheshe2]

33. Thanks for your comments.

Yet the OP is not about women. It is about black men. It is how they feel every damn day. Their feelings Their experiences Their Hurt Their not understanding why they are treated so differently than white folks.

[pnwmom]

34. I can only speak as a woman -- and tell you why women aren't smiling at black men

in the elevator.

And that's because many women are cautious about smiling at strange men in public no matter what race they are.

So a black man and a white man are treated the same way -- because women know that if they look too friendly, the guy -- no matter what his race -- might view it as an invitation.

Haven't you read any of the OP's about sexual harassment on public streets? One way women try to avoid that is by not smiling at men in the first place -- although often even ignoring them isn't enough.

I was only 12 years old when adult men started making sounds and shouting out things when I walked to school or to babysitting jobs. Women are trained by this to ignore strange men. Why should any men -- of any race -- be surprised when women don't act friendly to them?

Now, as to why white men aren't smiling in the elevator, I read somewhere that men in general don't smile as much as women. So the white men probably aren't smiling at each other either, right?

Come to think of it, who smiles at people in elevators? Maybe this is a regional thing, but I don't see much smiling in elevators in the Pacific Northwest. Maybe this is because of the mix of cultural backgrounds we have here. We have a large community of Asians and smiling has a whole different cultural meaning for them. (For example, they link smiling to apologizing, which is something white people don't do.) And I've read there is also less smiling in some South American cultures. Sometimes people are offended by what turn out to be simply different cultural ways of expressing politeness. Smiling isn't the universal symbol some people think it is.

[slipslidingaway]

6. I'm sure there are some white women that might clutch their purse ...

but guess I'm one of those white women who smiles at others because it just feels right. Someone exiting their vehicle near a medical facility does not automatically raise concern for me.

But this line made me think " usually I drop her off at the entrance and I wait in my car in the parking lot usually listening to music or talk radio."

If this is a frequent occurrence (usually) then I would imagine there could be a chronic illness. Why is this person not accompanying her to the appointments and possibly taking notes and/or asking questions? If it happens once per year then why say "usually" as if this happens with regularity.

Guess I've been to too many doctor's appointments in the last five years and I usually park the car in a hurry and rush inside as to not miss the appointment with doctor.

[Lobo27]

11. It takes so much restrain to not lash out.

I live in a decent area of Dallas, a nice and quiet neighborhood for the most part. Have good relationships with my neighbors. Recently the next door neighbor's daughter began dating a rather unsavory fellow.

He drives a black suv with cut mufflers. A loud vehicle to say the least, but the wife and I just figured young guy being annoying. Then last Thursday happened, the suv pulls while my wife, son and I are getting groceries into the house. The suv was covered with racists writings. Stuff like... No amnesty, No Spics, No Nigs, Keep Texas Clean, and two white lightnings on each door.

Being half Mexican and half white, I know racism all to well especially from my mothers side of the family. I wanted nothing more than to make the suv go away and to scream at the guy. But that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere.

I guess not so much relating to the OP, just wanting to say racism fucking sucks.

[Jamaal510]

16. Basically if BM don't keep our sanity,

then even more insanity is likely to happen, if you know what I mean.

[Separation]

22. St. Louis is on fire tonight.

Several stores have been looted and burned down. Reports of several people being shot. Was listening to the scanner and reports of a black male assaulting a female.

[sheshe2]

25. Well the only link I could find is this

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/08/10/st-louis-teen-police-shooting/13856377/

No stores being burned down. A fire behind one. And yes there is looting. As for an African American assaulting a female, I call bullshit.

[Separation]

27. Started a new thread, sorry for the hijack

Are you saying I'm lying or the report is lying. I'm listening to the scanner now. Check your twitter. #St Louis

[sheshe2]

28. No. I am not saying you are lying.

I reported a link to the news. And I don't do twitter.

[Separation]

30. Understood.

I didn't do twitter until Arab spring and realized that the mms wasn't reporting. So now I just do it for news and such. I don't have any followers or nothing.

[KT2000]

24. Yes - I knew of discrimination

in the abstract sense, being white and going through race issues in the high school I went to. It was not until I started hanging with a friend who is black that I saw the everyday insults. The stupid things white people say are incredible. He had been an aeronautical engineer and told me of the difficulties he had because people did not believe he knew what he was doing - until they became convinced. Other than the brutality and harassment by authorities such as police - I saw how this extremely intelligent man was regarded with suspicion and distrust.

This man caught a local polluter red handed breaking state and federal laws - according to their own paperwork!! He informed the state so first the county held a meeting with him. He decked five guys with his knowledge which was superior to theirs. Coolest thing I have ever seen. Each one gave up and sat back in their chairs!

So that wasn't good enough - the state sent four guys to meet with him at his house. They wanted to know who he was working for and what he was really up to. Again he expressed his knowledge of the law which again was superior to theirs and the fact that the polluter was breaking the law - with proof.

Then they tried to co-opt him by having him sit on a state board that oversaw air operating permits for industry. They thought he would go along to get along but instead he used the resources he had there to catch another polluter breaking the law in another part of the state. They had to clean up or shut down.

They never did catch on that he was smarter than they were, I am assuming because he is black, or maybe they were really ignorant.
Thanks for letting me share my favorite anecdote about one of my heroes. Change through knowledge!

[Major Hogwash]

35. The truth is . . .

. . . if a young black man in today's America can somehow make it past his 16th birthday without being shot, without being shot at or without being threatened to be shot, without having his throat cut or without being threatened to have his throat cut, without being hung by a rope or being threatened to be hung by a rope . . he will have made it over "the hump" of reaching manhood.

That doesn't mean that all of those young black men will all live to a ripe old age, but the odds get much better after they turn 16.

It was worse 25 years ago.
And much, much worse 40 years ago.
And even worse than I can imagine 60 years ago.

[Liberal_in_LA]

36. kick

[CBGLuthier]

37. There seems to be a deliberate lack of focus on DU any more.

A good, quality OP gets immediately derailed by every other issue almost as if liberals can not focus on anything. So you make a great point about black men and suddenly someone asks why no black women and then someone else says women can't even walk down the street and smile without getting harassed completely destroying the focus on a thread that should be about America's propensity for killing black men.

Thread after thread after thread seems to be infested with this deliberate lack of focus. Between that and all the libertarian free sex threads DU has become useless, except for the lounge and that is kind of sad.

Disruptors, trolls whatever the fuck, DU has turned the corner on useful debate and become a parody of itself.