An open reply to Bill Maher on: Bill Maher: Open carry gun rights advocates are ‘ammo-sexuals.’
Well now. As an admitted Gay guy... and now, according to Bill Maher, a die a hard "Ammosexual" too? Ooo-eee. some might say that's another strike against me, Ha.
Some might say too I’m a good candidate for Ammoholics Anonymous:
Step 1: "We admitted we we powerless over Ammo and that our lives were unmanageable."
I know I have a problem when:
1) I am spending more on ammo than I ever did on booze in my heyday of drinking.
2) It's gotten so bad that even when I know I can't afford it, still, just for the thrill I shop around for the best price and load it into my shopping cart.
3) My browser's start up page is AmmoSeek.com.
4) I have run out of ammo storage cans and STILL --I buy ammo.
5) I have this thing about bullet size.
6) I long for match grade ammo but if I NEEEED a fix, then Federal ball is good enough.
7) When in doubt my ammo of choice is "MORE MORE MORE."
8) "AMMO": the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing I think about at night!
9) I keep several boxes beside the bed, under the bed, at the foot of the bed, behind the bed. Behind the door, in the floor, on the desk, in the closets, under the sink, top of the frig, in the cupboards.... --- You know "Just in case I run out". And "yes", I did think of the toilet tank too but that hiding place has become so blatantly obvious anymore. Thanks to those darn alcoholics!
10) I plan my day and what events I attend around ammo. "If an event doesn't serve ammo, why bother?"
11) I prefer friends that consume ammo like me. That way I can feel ok about my own consumption.
12) I bet I can 'out ammo' anyone under the table! Friends have begun to exclude me because of my ammo intake.
13) Sometimes when I wake up I have to consume more ammo just to still the jitters!
14) I often lie about how much ammo I consume. "I only had two rounds, I swear!"
15) I hide empty ammo boxes and sometimes dump them in my neighbor's trash.
16) Sometimes I suffer ammo blackouts. Like I open my safe, blink and think "Whoa, holy sh*t, where'd all this ammo come from?"
All said.. I guess I'm pretty well screwed though 'cause I refuse any and all help. No conversion therapy for this ammosexual, thank you.
My motto is "Bigger, faster, longer, harder, farther!
And as always: "A 'round' in the hand is worth two in the bush" --LOL
PS: As a final comment to Bill Maher -- "Blow me Bill! --It's hereditary..."
Disclaimer: This piece was written entirely for entertainment's sake. The content may, or may not, reflect the author's views, actions or obsessions; any similarities to the author may just be coincidence. Except for the homo thing --obviously that's been admitted. LOL. No offense was meant to any group of people based on their preferences, or consumption of ammo OR alcohol.
= new reply since forum marked as read
