8 Things Middle-Aged Women Think About Far More Than Whether They're Still F*ckable

[Live and Learn]

by Middle-Aged Men.

By Lisa Solod

Tom Junod's recent Esquire article on the sexual viability of 42-year-old women would be just silly if it weren't for it being part and parcel of the "new" misogyny taking hold in both American culture and American politics. When white men still make the rules, get pissed off when they can't make the rules and punish women for wanting to make their own rules, well, Houston, we have a problem. The GOP denies a war on women at the same time it pushes for legislation on women's reproductive rights that would take us back to the '50s. Then they insult women who push back. Rush Limbaugh says we are all sluts because we want the same sexual freedom he (and other men) enjoys and Fox News mostly wants us to sit down and shut up, if we aren't one of their interchangeable blonde talking heads.

And yet what Junod wants us to be concerned with is whether men like him want to sleep with women over 40. He's a 55-year-old man who deigns to consider bedding some famous 42-year-old women, but only if they are movie stars and have been doing their pilates. And he clearly feels bad not just about our necks, but about our whole fading beauty. So he's willing to f*ck us one last time before we disappear.

But here's the thing. We don't give a sh*t about Tom Junod. We don't give a sh*t about Rush Limbaugh. We DO give a sh*t about the legislators who are trying mightily to take back what small rights we have won, but we don't care a whit if those legislators like us. Or if they think we are too loud or aggressive or even just downright bitchy.

More
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-solod/8-things-middle-aged-women-think-about-far-more-than-whether-theyre-still-fckable-by-middle-aged-men_b_5577804.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

[MH1]

1. Good article, but the cesspool is leaking into the comments section over there.

Yeesh. Quite a few commenters with male-sounding names demonstrating their misogyny and cluelessness. I guess some of that is deliberate trollery.

Anyway, I recommend hip waders for the comments section on that piece.

[Live and Learn]

3. Most comment sections seem to have

become a haven for the RW trolls. Which is exactly why I spend most of my comment reading on DU.

[liberalhistorian]

124. I noticed that and had to quit

reading them. And they're public, too! Seems to me that the HP comments section actually used to be a lot better and more respectful when posters were anonymous. Makes no sense to me at all, but that's the way it seems.

The men whining on there is truly disgusting and pathetic. There's no sense of self-awareness or irony. Some are even complaining about the "new female superiority complex" where we gals are demanding "more rights and privileges than men with less responsibility." GAH. The sexist stupid, I can't take it.

[alp227]

147. Sadly, in modern culture there's no shame in being sexist,

which is why those "men" are SO comfortable putting their names and faces next to their trolling.

[seabeyond]

148. "there's no shame in being sexist," brilliant. even on a progressive board. nt

[Paladin]

2. Well stated. (nt)

[seabeyond]

4. thank you. just for the fuckin' title. lol. i love it. now, i will read.

see if the article is half as fun as the title.

[Live and Learn]

6. It is a good article and her title but I had a feeling it would catch attention. lol

It caught mine too though I was a bit leery of it. Turns out to be a well written article by a woman that was just completely ticked off by the ridiculousness and gall of these GOP idiots.

[seabeyond]

8. i know. and i am enjoying. gotta get back to the reading.

glad to hear it ends well. i am just that type of woman.

[uppityperson]

5. excellent article. k&r

[seabeyond]

7. sing it sister. i am in love

Sure, we pass by a mirror and sometimes don't recognize ourselves. Yes, time is flying; it is fleeting and yes, our youth is long behind us. And, yes, many of us still work out and try and eat right and put on mascara before we leave the house. But what really concerns us? Lots of things that have nothing to do with men or whether they continue to desire us.

now. back to reading. i love. bettyellen and the others kicked me in the ass about this social justice eye opener. she just did.

fuck that. i am all social justice.

someone have an issue with that?

too cute.

cheers betty

[Kath1]

86. "fuck that. i am all social justice."

Amen to that on this beautiful Sunday morning!

[CBGLuthier]

9. Well my middle-aged wife happens to be very hot. Mainly cause she is

at the Senior US Open today and the temp is nearing the high 90s. Tomorrow I too shall be hot when I join her for the final round and it gets to 101. We both went Thursday when it was a mild 92 and came home and drank four glasses of water each.


Oh and apologies for the joke but I have wanted to use it all day and this seemed the place.

[seabeyond]

10. Oh and apologies for the joke but I have wanted to use it all day...

too funny. i can just see, and how perfect this op set it up for you. enjoy the tournie.

[CBGLuthier]

11. Thank you, we shall

What is funny is she asked for the tickets for Christmas and everyone assumed it was a gift for the both of us but the truth is she wanted to go. She went to a practice round Tuesday with her sister (it was her only day free) and she will be seeing all four rounds. I will only see two but that is OK with me.

[seabeyond]

13. i had a fun little privilege in my life, a couple decades.

we were having the first professional tour in amarillo, and my mom was assigned t put it together, which was a blast in itself. she gave me hole one to score, one day and i got to be mearas (?) catty the next.

i knew nothing. it was early and cold. i ended yup with the mans gloves and coat. really embarassing in the incompetent. i do not know why the woman put me in that situation. but, he was very very nice.

they never came back to amarillo. i think because the texans would not adapt rules for their originizations progressiveness. or something.

i can see the enjoyment.

[enlightenment]

12. Because I was unfamiliar with the Junod

article, I did a quick search and ran across this very interesting review of it - and a second article in the same issue.

http://gawker.com/esquire-writers-were-willing-to-fuck-early-middle-aged-1602918511

[Warpy]

27. Funny, my mid 40s were about the last time a gawping male

ran into a lamp post. I have never been beautiful but by gawd, I was cute. I never bothered with Lycra underwear and never wore a speck of makeup. Junod would likely have never noticed me since his requirements are so high.

It's a lot safer out there now that I'm over 50 and have my invisibility cloak on.

Do I miss it? I'd really have to say I don't. Some of it was fun while it lasted but most of it was a pain in the ass.

[enlightenment]

29. Have to agree.

My fellow invisible over-50s and I are contemplating starting the worlds most successful paid assassination squad . . . we're already invisible, so we have a tremendous advantage. It would certainly fund our retirement kitty. Unfortunately, none of use are given to violence, so the actual assassination part would be a problem.

(Have you read the "Miss Melville" mystery series by the late Evelyn E. Smith? Very amusing!)


Edited for extra word

[PasadenaTrudy]

54. We could

be private investigators!

[enlightenment]

55. Now there's an idea!

Or spies . . .

nah. Investigators. I don't think spies make enough money to fund our retirements. Now we just need a catchy name - we can go national overnight, considering how many of us there are out there!

[Kath1]

89. Or a secret middle aged feminist society bent on destroying sexism!

BTW, love your sig line - "Childfree by choice!" Right on.

[PasadenaTrudy]

105. Thanks! n/t

[seabeyond]

112. where is the meet up. i want to do that one. but, the investigating sounds fun, too. nt

[Kath1]

121. It all sounds good!

Very cool that we are all having a little fun with this!

[seabeyond]

123. ya. cause it is a lie we all know better, to put us once again, in our place and we have had enough

we are done. not playing this game no mo.

except one in this thread. she seems to still enjoy the constant circle, round and round, of the carousel.

[Kath1]

126. You got it, sister!

We're not going back. Fuck that!

[calimary]

162. We ARE done. And while we're at it, can we get rid of that "here's how you gals with gray hair and

crepey necks can be "sexy" too, with all that blowing fabric and slow-motion TV - and it's a commercial for vagina cream so sex isn't painful anymore.

FUCK that. My husband thinks I'm attractive because I have BRAINS. And I'm frankly too busy managing the band and the next TWO rounds of touring they have on tap - to be bothered with some "desire" to be groped and pawed.

ENOUGH. And let's get rid of those stupid Stupid STOOOOPID "she's always been the best thing for you, so it could be a question of blood flow..." WORST COPY SEGUE EVVVVERRRRRRRRRR! For heaven's sake, who writes that shit????

And BTW, may I gently add - to these dudes in Esquire who opine about the poor 40+plus women out there who need a mercy fuck before they shrivel up completely... WHO THE FUCK SAYS WE'D WANT YOU, ANYWAY??????? Methinks somebody's flattering himself just WAY too much...

[blueamy66]

33. nothing wrong with wearing make up

just saying...

[Warpy]

42. There was in my case

Just saying....

[blueamy66]

101. Why?

nt

[arikara]

40. I totally agree

I never realized how much all the eye-balling and leering bothered me until I got over 50 and it stopped. It was a breath of fresh air. I understand now that there is nobody more invisible than a middle aged woman, this lovely stage lasts until you get old and then you get "cute" again.

[pipi_k]

64. I actually have mixed feelings about that.

When I was younger (say up till the age of about 45 or so), yes, I attracted a lot of male attention. It was a pain in the ass, but I did also get a secret ego boost.

Now I'm 61. Overweight. Not so "cute" anymore.

From a distance, that is.

But I've found that some men, when they are within conversation distance, seem to be focused a lot on my eyes, which I feel are my best feature. It's kind of an odd feeling, really.

Where they used to look at other places before, now they're actually looking at...and into...my eyes.

I think I like it.

[knitter4democracy]

57. I've always been invisible.

I'm not horrific-looking or anything or even plain, but I'm a nerd. Nerdy gals are invisible.

[dawg]

108. Are you kidding?

Nerdy women are my only hope. I don't think I could ever be truly happy with a woman who was 100% "normal".

(I just need to make sure I don't pick one with major self-esteem issues next time.)

[knitter4democracy]

132. Very true.

Most decent nerdy guys want the cheerleader from their high school fantasies, and normal guys either want to dominate or "settle." That leaves the "nice, nerdy guys," and they are mostly passive-aggressive types who aren't healthy for me to be around. I've pretty much given up on dating.

[dawg]

142. I don't want the cheerleader.

In fact, I think I probably need to get over that and learn to be more willing to give the "popular" outgoing types more of a chance. I tend to assume that:

1. those women wouldn't be interested in me anyway, and
2. they would bore me to death if they were

[seabeyond]

137. tell me from the other perspective. i am curious.

you heard how knitter sees it. how do you see it from your end?

no single woman? no single woman that???? that you can hook up with?

do you know what i am asking? i am curious.

[dawg]

141. There are plenty of good "nerdy" women in the world.

Most of the ones I know are married, though. Just offhand, I can only think of two singe women that I interact with on a regular basis. Small town blues, I guess.

But that's beside the point. I'm sure, with online dating and such, that I could find women who would be willing to date me. The reasons I'm not doing that right now are internal to me.

I do admit to being a little pessimistic about being able to find the kind of woman I would love to find. There are lots of self-centered, superficial people in the world. I try not to be one of them, but they are definitely out there. And I've already proven how easily I can be fooled.

Likewise, I'm kind of an oddball type of guy for the rural South. A latte-sipping liberal who is also a Christian and possessed of somewhat old-fashioned values. I'm not the tough guy with the Harley Davidson that so many women around here seem to be attracted to. I'm definitely not the "bad boy". I"m the kind of guy your mother tries to set you up with. :p

[knitter4democracy]

143. You'd be an oddball up here in rural Michigan, too.

Just being a liberal puts me in the minority.

[dawg]

144. I'm pretty much an oddball everywhere.

So I know I'm looking for a one in a million kind of woman.

[knitter4democracy]

146. Same here. I figured it's time to put looking for him on pause.

I have a master's to finish, a new job to find and start, a family to move, kids to raise, and honestly, most guys don't like taking a backseat to any of those on a regular basis (not that I blame them). So, I'm not looking and figure God will bring me the right man in the right time.

[seabeyond]

145. see, we got there.

Likewise, I'm kind of an oddball type of guy for the rural South. A latte-sipping liberal who is also a Christian and possessed of somewhat old-fashioned values. I'm not the tough guy with the Harley Davidson that so many women around here seem to be attracted to. I'm definitely not the "bad boy". I"m the kind of guy your mother tries to set you up with. :p

i was kinda wondering how it worked for you, a good man. just look to find someone to connect with.

so what you see a lot of is not being accepted for not being that motorcycle type dude. living in texas, i get what you are saying. i do know that women. interesting. thanks.

A latte-sipping liberal who is also a Christian and possessed of somewhat old-fashioned values.

this is prize, to me.

in time, dude.

thanks.

[Kath1]

87. Right on!

I'm 56. Some of it was fun but most of it was a royal pain in the ass! I really enjoy the "invisibility cloak."

[Skittles]

159. what is this invisiblity thing

someone who was sent to me at work later admitted he was advised by guys in the group to look for a blonde with nice T&A - I'm 57

[Cosmocat]

14. I just don't get it ...

Who are all of these men having sex with?

The year 2014 and THIS is the kind of shit we are dealing with?

So much that needs to be addressed, but the media and the country just lap up whatever bullshit the republicans are screaming about at any given time, and they will NOT be punished at the ballot box for it.

[volstork]

47. They're not having sex with anyone

and they are pissed about it. The women that are unfortunate enough to be married to them probably don't want to sleep with them, so those frustrated little misogynists have to lash out in any way they can.

[seabeyond]

50. that is how i see it. the women in their age range that would have sex, arent interested

cause they are no longer fools or inexperienced and see thru them, and the youngin' certainly do not want it.

[Demeter]

51. DUZY AND THE TRUTH

[smirkymonkey]

119. I think you hit the nail on the head.

[lululu]

95. unless they pay for it one way or another

with no one.

[WCLinolVir]

15. Why is it that some men think they are omniscient?

Who cares what goes on in their crappy little brains. Glad I do not live in his world. But he is too stupid to see another alternative reality that doesn't put him at the center. Well I hope he evolves at some point in time. Doesn't sound like it will be soon. Will he be committing suicide at 70 when the denial wears off?

[maddiemom]

16. Loud, agressive, bitchy---and my personal favorite: SHRILL.

[BuelahWitch]

18. Aw, you shouldn't call those guys in the comment section such mean names!

They're probably just lonely!

[maddiemom]

44. LOL many times over.

[Hekate]

17. Read the article; skip the comments. It's spot on. nt

[BuelahWitch]

19. Frankly, I'm glad I'm no longer interested in looking for love

When I ask them about their interests and they send me emails or IMs of their junk, I knew it was time to give up the ghost.

[dawg]

25. That's just sad.

There are lots of self-centered and twisted people out there. Finding a good, compatible match looks like it's going to be a real challenge for me as well.

[arikara]

41. Eww. They really do that?

Ewww.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

58. Yes. They really do that.

[BuelahWitch]

62. Yes, without any introduction or request.

They just appear.

[arikara]

63. I guess you could have some fun with photoshop

before you send it back. I seriously do not understand the male gender, and their obsession with their little head. If women ran around taking selfies of their vaginas and emailing them around... I mean really.

[Squinch]

71. Yup. Sad but true. Not sure why they would think cyber-flashing would make anyone

want to do anything other than check for their names on sex-offender lists, but a lot of guys seem to think this is an ice breaker.

[3catwoman3]

139. More like a...

...deal breaker.

[Squinch]

140. Exactly.

[awoke_in_2003]

20. Junod is an idiot. nt

[N.Y. to Paris]

21. Ladies....

Truth be told, they're all a bunch of cowards....call them on it, get in their faces,
f*ck them, get bitchier! organize and kick their F*ckin ass...you've been under
their thumbs long enough...there are guys out here who KNOW that you gals would
do a far better job than than these paranoid old white men....DO IT!

[Starry Messenger]

22. Just for parity, here is a photo of the author

Now we can rate his fuckability too. I give him a 2--with drunk goggles, possibly, but with hurricane scale morning regret.

[seabeyond]

23. such a hoot. there is absolutely a consistency with the men that talk like that. nt

[Live and Learn]

24. Oh my, the crow's feet, sagging jowls and

is he wondering why he came in to that room?

[Starry Messenger]

28. It looks like he was trying for alluring and instead looks confused.

[Number23]

56. He looks cross eyed and half crazy. You were kind to label that as "confused"

[Starry Messenger]

74. I keep waiting for someone to jump in here and shout "misandry!!11"

because I was just a little judgey about him. I'm pleasantly surprised! But yeah, I pretty much think he's a troll. I've never been happier to be 43 years old.

[KamaAina]

160. Does he go to Rand Paul's hairstylist?

[seabeyond]

161. that is it. that is who it looks like, lol. thanks. nt

[LaurenG]

26. no not even if he was younger

he truly thinks he's special.

[Warpy]

30. Looks like he's had hair plugs that he back combs

so it won't be too obvious. He's also got sort of a Dudley Doright thing going on and we all know he's incapable of laughing at himself.

That last, alone, would keep him off my list if we were both 40 years younger.

Such men hang out in college bars and are well known as "those old creepers." They never get lucky but if they've got Viagra on board, they have a wank and later brag about the college kid they fantasized about as though she'd actually let them near her.

Junod should be as rich as Croesus if he expects to attract the kind of trophy babe he feels the world owes him. If he's not, maybe he needs to save up for a Real Doll.

[blueamy66]

32. I wouldn't touch him.

I'm 48.

I have not had so much attention in my entire life as I have had in the last 6 months.

Why can't people just shut up?

[kath]

34. Oooooooohhh, he's a real prize!

Not.

[SoCalDem]

39. Yup.. I bet Cindy Crawford is looking up his info right now

Guys with big fat juicy wallets have ALWAYS found "love" with some younger, nubile. sexy younger women...but usually not long-lasting love

The guy put his fantasy down on paper and hit "send".. FAIL

[underpants]

43. It's as if Morrissey and David Byrne had a child

[gollygee]

65. Ha!

That is indeed what he looks like.

[littlemissmartypants]

67. Haha.

DUzy.

[smirkymonkey]

120. Or a grandfather...

[niyad]

45. goddess in heaven!! you should have WARNED us!! where is the mind bleach???

(note to self: LOTS more wine tonight)

[Starry Messenger]

46. Hahaha!!

I love this subthread.

I didn't want to prejudice anyone upfront.

[volstork]

48. Smug bastard

He's probably terrible in bed, anyway-- selfish and cold.

[Skittles]

59. those type of guys are usually terrible

[volstork]

76. Agreed

They all think they are sex gods,preening around like barnyard roosters. Our secret is that WE don't want to f#ck THEM.

[Skittles]

78. I have noticed in comments regarding older female celebs

guys saying "would still do".....as if those gals would EVER "do" these loser guys making such observations

[volstork]

84. Amen

As if ANY man is entitled to have sex with any woman he chooses. Actually, come to think of it, that very sense of entitlement is a large part of what drives the general misogyny of modern society.
Maybe in a couple hundred years we will have evolved a wee bit more. Our great granddaughters can only hope, but my guess is that they will still be fighting...

[Curmudgeoness]

49. Why is it that older men think that they are still hot

but they think older women aren't?

I agree with your assessment of his fuckability.

[treestar]

93. I agree, when I was young

I never found middle aged men attractive - they were "invisible" to me in that way. Every once in a while one would make an attempt and it would shock me they thought I would be interested.

[smirkymonkey]

122. It's interesting how men in general vastly overrate their attractiveness.

But what is really interesting is how much aging middle aged and older men think they are still attractive to younger women, as if younger women would even find them remotely attractive. It's like they haven't looked in the mirror in the past 30 years.

[littlemissmartypants]

66. I would not do him with a bag over his head and double condoms. eom

[historylovr]

69. Look out, George Clooney!

[WinkyDink]

70. Size matters---and he has a very small mind.

[Squinch]

72. He looks like the Grinch.

[volstork]

77. He thinks he's a sex machine

but he's just a small appliance...

[JustAnotherGen]

83. He looks just

Oh my. No. Just no.

I thought we were going to see someone Clooney-esque.

[Kath1]

85. Jesus Christ!!

You should have warned us! Unfuckable, even with desperation and massive beer goggles!

[lunatica]

98. Is that supposed to be his sexy come hither look?

Looks like a carefully rehearsed selfie. Tousled hair, smirky, self-satisfied smile all carefully contrived to make every woman want him.



This is another reason to delight in being 66 years old now. Ugh!

[seabeyond]

100. this is what gets me. we are these mens age. we know these men. we grew up with these men.

we were in our youth with these men. they are our brothers, friends, boyfriends, husbands.

they lie to themselves so hard bad wanting to grab that long last youth. we get it. we see it, we know, we understand. and it aint gonna happen. as many stories as the men tell themselves, and tell each other to help convince them that really.... really really.... that 16 yr old really has the hots for a 50 yr old man. god just privileged men in that way.

we know the lie they tell themselves that only the women age. sex changes only for the older woman. that the man is not effected by age at all.

it is a whole lot of lying out of fear. and they have the internet to puff each others chest.

the reality, and what is very sad about all this. these men are hearing from other men, that they are all that. youth is still in their grasp. the hot 20 yr old does want them. adn they are not getting it, because it is a lie and not reality.

so they lie on line, and in real life feel like shit and alone

it is a fabricated story too many are living effecting their real life and those in it, so it is not harmless. and it is a time, male suicide escalates.

[zazen]

106. so well said . . . n/t

[lunatica]

107. We also know that by overtly putting older women down

they're desperate about their image with the younger women and the message is directed towards other men, not women. The "You're lucky I'll fuck you now because, babe, if you were over 40 I wouldn't even look at you. I'm that great of a catch." isn't about seducing the girls. It's about convincing the men they're studs.

Yup. It's cold sweat desperation and we know it.

[seabeyond]

113. oh. and you are so there. that was what i was initially think, that i did not bother to type out.

they are doing this for the men, damn straight, to puff that chest to the other men. really, women? meh. not about them at all. it is all about preening to the fellow man.

and i do not use preening lightly.

[catrose]

99. Ick

Not now, not then

[lululu]

111. Possibly the ugliest man I have ever seen

and now we know he's brainless as well.

[klook]

131. LOL, so this is the putz

Probably looks in the mirror and thinks he's seeing Ryan Gosling.

[abakan]

138. Looks to me...

Like his head is so big, he has to prop it up with his hand.

[cali]

31. I just read the article. It was pretty inane but it didn't say what this writer says it said.

[Live and Learn]

35. I think the author got the gist of his meaning

perfectly. He may of thought he was sticking up for older women but he really doesn't get it.

[riderinthestorm]

36. Hmm, I guess I don't understand your comment. I thought the article was straightforward

Money, the future, work, children, safety for women in general, friends, caring for aging parents....

I thought that was pretty spot on. I'm a middle class, over 50 yr old woman and agreed with all of that.

The last paragraphs were also good at qualifying that this was more applicable to middle class women, not those in poverty who had even more pressing worries....

And those are only the worries of the middle-class. Add to those worries poverty, prejudice, and wondering where our next meal might come from. How to pay the bills, who will take care of our kids when we go to work, if we can make that old car last a few more months or year. If we can see a doctor and pay for it.

snip

Unlike men like Junod, we women know full well what is fantasy and what is real. We see it every day when we head out into the world.

[cali]

37. I meant I read the Esquire article. n/t

[riderinthestorm]

38. Ah thanks. I just read the HP article...

[flamingdem]

52. 42? Please! I mean that is young, young by today's standards

I still had plenty of umpf left in me at that age! I was avoiding creeps like him at the time. I have met too many who think like him. They end up single and some go to "massage" parlours. There are hundreds in the area where I live that offer "happy endings".

[Demeter]

53. Well, at least we know for a fact that the line exists

and it's not just our imaginations.

[Number23]

60. Shallow, stupid and clueless in every way. And the women he passes off as the 42-year old "ideal"

do nothing but reinforce my perception of this stupid man.

This comment made me clap enthusiastically:

David Prete · Northwestern University

Dear Tom,
As a 43 year-old man, I am so glad you wrote this piece. On top of the impertinence of your writing, it shows why no woman of any age will ever fuck you again. And that makes me very happy because the world is a slightly better place now that you can't reproduce again. I hope your sensibilities die with your generation.
Sincerely,
David Prete

[Live and Learn]

61. LOL, love that response.

[1StrongBlackMan]

102. On a different note ...

I have been a long time Esquire subscriber; but have decided not to renew my subscription. My decision was sealed when a recent edition covered "Bars of Detroit." It highlighted 15 bars, with pictures and describing what made them unique/interesting ... and none of the pictures had a single African-American in them. I mean, Esquire could not find a single interesting Black-patronized bar in a city that is 97% Black?

I, then, flipped through the pages ... from front to back ... there were 3 African-Americans (out of 100+ photos) shown in the entire issue .

My cancellation notice began: "Hey, Esquire ... way to be (skin) tone deaf!" and pointed out my observation.

[PasadenaTrudy]

109. Good for you. Can't blame you....n/t

[seabeyond]

115. "Bars of Detroit." not find a single interesting Black...city that is 97% Black

now that... has to be conscious. wow. and thanks for sharing that point.

[Number23]

157. I've had this same issue with Vanity Fair for damn ever.

I am simply BEYOND sick and damned tired of their fixation with all things white. A month or so after Whitney Houston died, they did an expose but guess who made the cover? Marilyn Monroe. They even did an expose in Brazil and damn near everyone in the photos looked like they were from Kansas. Brazil. One of the most racially diverse countries in the WORLD and 85% of the folks in the photos were white. It's just so stupid.

They've even resorted to doing detailed "analyses" on British aristocracy in order to keep their pages lily white. It is beyond annoying, narrow and stupid. And you would think that as much hell as they've caught by being so diametrically opposed to diversity they'd have gotten the message by now.

[littlemissmartypants]

68. Thanks for your post Live and Learn.

Interesting thread.

[BlueJazz]

73. This 32 year old has seen some much older women that are sexy by being bright.

It really is all in the mind to some of us. (not that there's anything wrong with that)

[Kath1]

75. We don't give a shit about Tom Junod.

Damn right! I'm 56, very fuckable (yes, I do still have sex and I am not a movie star and I don't do pilates.

I'm slightly overweight, I smoke cigarettes, I'm very pro-choice and very liberal. I'm probably not Tom's kind of woman. Which is excellent because I hate anti-woman right-wing bigots!

[HangOnKids]

79. APPLAUSE!!!!

[Skittles]

82. guys like him have no idea what they are missing

no INDEED

[Kath1]

125. LOL!

I'm living proof that some younger men are attracted to greying hair, frayed bellbottom jeans, t-shirts, sandals, liberal politics and "who-gives-a-fuck" attitudes!

[hfojvt]

80. Ah, the smell of misandry in the morning

"If we have girls we worry about their safety. We wonder how much to teach them about the ugliness of the world, the cruelty of men and boys. We worry about how to protect them and arm them to protect themselves -- without scaring them to death. If we have boys, we struggle with how to teach them respect and kindness and decency toward their own sex and the opposite one."

[Live and Learn]

81. Not sure what your complaint is.

If you upset because the author isn't teaching boys about the ugliness of the world and the cruelty of men and boys then I wholeheartedly agree.

[mercuryblues]

91. the complaint

is that the author did not list all the positive male traits after this. It is just like the Sunday morning news shows, for every 4 republicans, there is one democrat. That is what the poster expects. for every negative about a male must be accompanied by 4 positives or it is misandry.

But here is the entire passage

If we have girls we worry about their safety. We wonder how much to teach them about the ugliness of the world, the cruelty of men and boys. We worry about how to protect them and arm them to protect themselves -- without scaring them to death. If we have boys, we struggle with how to teach them respect and kindness and decency toward their own sex and the opposite one. We fear for the violence that is under the surface of all our children and we think about ways to tamp it down and give it constructive outlet.

Kind of a different meaning than the misandry bullshit spewed.

[myrna minx]

88. Lol

[Skittles]

156. insecurity

[myrna minx]

158. LOL - I know! Out of the whole original esquire article and the rebuttle article

by Lisa Solod - *that's* the paragraph of *shakes fist* outrage.

[alphafemale]

90. I will soon be 50 and date and bed men in their mid thirties.

And leave them winded.

[randome]

92. But are you doing your Pilates?

The article goes to the opposite extreme. Most women I've known do care whether or not they're sexually attractive. And that doesn't necessarily mean they are kowtowing to what men want.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]All things in moderation, including moderation.[/center][/font][hr]

[alphafemale]

103. There are plenty of men that enjoy women that enjoy sex.

Those guys referenced in the OP are rare and probably get laid more in their dreams than in reality

[Kath1]

94. Awesome!

That's how we do it!

Sexual freedom is a beautiful thing! I still know how to rock a guy's socks and still do on occasion!

[Rapillion]

96. Junod doesn't know about the four Es

Experience, emotion and equality leads to . . . enrichment.

That's sex you can't find with a bright, shiny toy.

[lunatica]

97. Ah yes... The aging males looking for anyone who wants to fuck them

Yawn...

[blueamy66]

104. See, I only worry about 2 of the 8 things listed....

no kids, parents and brother gone, don't care about my old age, have done SO much in my life and have no faceless fears....only 2 things left are my partner and friends/family....

And I'm sorry, but I do care about the way that I look and how I present myself and like men and I do care if I'm still f*ckable. Does that make me shallow? Am I not normal?

I don't like what Junod wrote....he's full of shit and ugly as sin....but Solod's article doesn't work for me.

[lululu]

110. brain dead article

"“Let's face it: There used to be something tragic about even the most beautiful forty-two-year-old woman,” he wrote. “With half her life still ahead of her, she was deemed to be at the end of something — namely, everything society valued in her, other than her success as a mother.”"

Other than her success as a mother? Darn, no kids, but MIT degrees, I guess I'm a failure.

Really, his quote above says it all. I'd make remarks about his dragging his hairy arms on the ground, but that would be insulting to gorillas everywhere.

[lunatica]

116. He pines for the good old days of the 50s when men were always on top.

Giggle!

[Kath1]

128. LOL!!!!

Just because I was born in the 50s doesn't mean I want to go back there!

[pink-o]

114. Oh, please, what an entitled arrogant jerk.

I can guarantee that no smart, good-looking middle aged woman wants to sleep with him anyway. Most women (and REAL men) know that f*kability is far more subtle than just how one looks. As for JuNOT: I'd take a short, bald, funny man who respects women over that clown any day. And Pink-o at 60 may be old and sag in places, but she's not hamstrung by all those young girl insecurities an inhibitions anymore. That's the best-kept secret of getting older: we don't give a shit, let's just have fun.

Also, older women control our own destinies, we call the shots and have no trouble unburdening ourselves of troublesome, needy men. That's prolly what frightens JuNOT and his ilk more than anything, so they need to be with a Trilby who idolises them. So especially for this idiot, and all the blokes like him, I present this appropriate ditty. Take it away, Donnalou!

[seabeyond]

117. pinko, i always enjoy your posts.

adn i see you so seldom. that it is such a treat. my boys got to listen to the son, right along with me. lol.

[pink-o]

129. LOL, thanx, Sea!

I lurk here a lot, especially since many DU'ers express my thoughts very well before I even get to posting them! Also, I wish DU had a mobile app and posting photos and non-You Tube vids was a little easier. I tend to live on Instagram and Twitter these days.

As for the troglodyte mentality that's permeating this country re sexism, racism and massaging medieval religious sensibilities, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I'm doing lots of both, I guess!

[seabeyond]

130. true that. i hear ya. son just read to me another hobby lobby project. four year bible study in

high school.

i started saying

that will be shot down quickly, and paused. well, it has to go thru sc. who knows.

a different world.

[Kath1]

136. You got it!

"As for the troglodyte mentality that's permeating this country re sexism, racism and massaging medieval religious sensibilities, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. So I'm doing lots of both, I guess!" A LOT OF US ARE! Cannot be said any better!

[GliderGuider]

118. A woman's sexiest feature is between her ears.

And it takes time to develop that capacity to its utmost.

The sexiest women (and men) understand that little secret.

[Kath1]

133. So true.

And men of quality appreciate women of equality!

[Benton D Struckcheon]

127. The stupidest thing about this is he's 55,

and he's saying he might maybe do a 42 year old? As if she'd be automatically interested in him? What color is the sky in his world? Sheesh.

[abakan]

134. Don't worry about your F_ckability

I haven't seen anything I would want in my bed, except my dog, for years... When I have need of a male, I hire one. You know plumbers, electricians, gardeners, ect. ect.

[klook]

135. Good article - and just for the record, most of us middle-aged men have exactly the same priorities.

I just went to the Esquire web site and scanned Junod's pathetic rumination on "older" women -- who were born when he was in junior high school, at least -- reminds me why that magazine is not on my radar and never has been. It always seemed geared to guys who modeled their concept of masculinity on 1960s advertising.



Here are a couple of other good responses to Junod's embarrassing article:
http://www.mommyish.com/2014/07/11/esquire-praises-42-year-old-women-tom-junod/
http://thehairpin.com/2014/07/42

[the_working_poor]

149. Am I the only one who is a little suprised that "how fuckable" one is, is even ON a mind?

That is, at Middle age, yes it's there, but it's NOT in my top 10.
I always assumed it was lower for women than it was for men *shrugs*
I see no point in this article aside from the usual misandry and, honestly, a little misogyny to suggest women are this shallow.

whatever.

[seabeyond]

150. it is a womans fault addressing the misogyny cause that makes her a misandrist? lol.

whatevah....

[the_working_poor]

151. sadly, this is the kind of response i've come to expect from you

but whatever.
hate away at men. it's your thing now a days isn't it?
don't worry, I'll stop posting on women's issues, even if I'm actually DEFENDING THE VIEWS POSTED!

[seabeyond]

152. you see misandry, and a tad bit of misogyny. expect from me? man hating?

i hardly know ya.

[the_working_poor]

154. and this will be the last we speak

I've seen your other replies.
you aren't someone I care to have discourse with.
I will not reply anymore to you.

you may not think so but we are on the same side and want the same things.

be well.

[seabeyond]

155. It is well and good we are on the same side. 4 months in you call me a man hater. It doesn't sound

Like we are on the same side. I asked a question not called you insulting names. And again, I am to blame for pulling a part of your post I question, with man hating. Do you see how it does not look nor feel that you are on my side, after being on du for a mere four months, adopting the same slur of a handful of men that readily insult us, and me specifically with man hating.

So, is this post unfair?, too.

[seabeyond]

153. 4 months on. i asked a question. and you choose to call me a man hater. i am the problem?