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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsCongress Reluctant To Cut Funding For Tank That Just Spins Around And Self-Destructs (The Onion)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-reluctant-to-cut-funding-for-tank-that-ju,36099/WASHINGTONEscalating recent budgetary disputes with the White House over military spending, members of Congress signaled their hesitance Thursday to curtail funding for the M114 Armored Combat Vehicle, a midsize tank whose sole capability is spinning 360 degrees in place and then exploding.
The 70-ton tactical battle tank commonly known as the Dervish, which reportedly has a price tag of $95 million per vehicle and is said to begin emitting volatile, combustible fumes and sending off a dangerous fountain of sparks immediately after it is started, has been called a vital asset to national security by top congressmen on both sides of the aisle. While detractors have attempted to defund the project over the years due to its ballooning cost and the loss of every vehicle so far deployed, advocates have been able to preserve the program from cuts, hailing the tanks rightward-only movement and propensity to ignite in a towering fireball as the centerpiece of Americas war effort.
At a time when protecting United States interests at home and abroad has never been more important, we simply cannot afford to compromise our militarys ability to drive a tank repeatedly in a circle as gigantic flames shoot out of every opening on its surface, said House Armed Services Committee Chair Rep. Howard Buck McKeon (R-CA), an outspoken proponent for continued funding of the program, which has consumed over 81 billion taxpayer dollars since its inception. Cutting production of the Dervish merely because it is able to do nothing more than leave circular treadmarks and a smoking crater where it once stood would not only be irresponsible, it would leave the nation unequipped for the armed conflicts of tomorrow and put every citizen of this country at risk.
Frankly, its indicative of the diminished role in international leadership the White House sees for America that they are even willing to consider sacrificing such a critical piece of defense technology, McKeon continued. Do we really want the 1,800 U.S. servicemen who have so far died while using this piece of technology to have given their lives in vain? That seems to be what the president wants.
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Congress Reluctant To Cut Funding For Tank That Just Spins Around And Self-Destructs (The Onion) (Original Post)
underpants
May 2014
OP
Who needs the Onion when we have a republican congress that would do this?
liberal N proud
May 2014
#1
I dig it. But your posts are just not the same without the floating underwear looking
Guy Whitey Corngood
May 2014
#5
liberal N proud
(60,338 posts)1. Who needs the Onion when we have a republican congress that would do this?
Really, they would do this while they were cutting aid to veterans and food stamps.
wandy
(3,539 posts)2. Excellent F-in-35-g satire. n/t
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)3. I thought they might be refering to Combat for the Atari 2600
I sort of remember tanks spinning around when they were hit.
underpants
(182,843 posts)4. The picture in the link is a Bradley Fighting Vehicle
I spent 3 years on one. They don't explode but there is a movie with Kelsey Grammer and Cary Ewles about the development of the Bradley and it isn't too far off from this Onion story.
mindwalker_i
(4,407 posts)7. They probably don't spin around for a second after being hit
then reappear somewhere else on the playing field. And they're not limited to the Atari 2600's resolution.
Guy Whitey Corngood
(26,501 posts)5. I dig it. But your posts are just not the same without the floating underwear looking
right at us.
NuclearDem
(16,184 posts)6. Screen doors for the submarines are still a go, though.
underpants
(182,843 posts)8. Right, to keep the fish out
Unfortunately there a "cost over run" and the screen doors are coming in WAY over budget. Just like the "stunt fish" did.