Top Ten Reasons Operation American Spring Went Flat

[kpete]

Operation American Spring, the Tea Party protest which was expected to draw 10-30,000,000 people to the nation's Capitol yesterday, turned out to be a huge flop. Rather than the tens of millions hoped for, only a few dozen showed up and the turnout was so dismal, even the conservative outlets The Blaze and the Washington Times couldn't even begin to spin it. But there were several excellent reasons why yesterday's protest in Washington DC wasn't quite what was hoped for. What were they?

10) We done tried but couldn't get away from Benghazi.
9) Klan costume got yellowed when washed with Gadsden flag.
8) You try driving a Rascal scooter to DC from Alabama and tell me how easy it is!
7) Turns out free pizza from Arab nations was just a vicious rumor.
6) It's not the quantity, it's the quality.
5) Investigating who put the bop in the bop shoo bop. It was Obama, to distract from Benghazi.
4) Most of them went west by accident to Washington state.
3) Overestimated the number of insane asylums that would grant furloughs.
2) Discovered Ted Nugent concert and NASCAR race around the White House another vicious rumor.
1) Sign shop got all the spelling right.

http://www.welcomebacktopottersville.blogspot.com/2014/05/top-ten-reasons-operation-american.html

[malaise]

1. Couldn't find Consitution Avenue

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024965972

By the way I love #3

[Scuba]

2. Rain caused rainbow, triggering fear they'd be turned gay.

[doxydad]

14. TY

AHHH, you made my day!

[Sheepshank]

21. DUzy

right there

[COLGATE4]

3. Saw a real african-american nt

[Rozlee]

4. Heard there was a Big Foot sighting in Alabama.

And The Weekly World News was offering fifty bucks for a picture of one.

[smallcat88]

5. Saw a big bird flying over

were afraid it was Obama coming after them with drones.

[Wounded Bear]

6. I live in Washington State...

they didn't show up here, either.

[Aristus]

15. Thank God...

[freshwest]

25. Yes, the lunatic Teapublicans are poised to take over the legislature this year... n/t

[Sheepshank]

22. Almost wondered if they confuse Washington State with Washington DC

but then realized the confused all of the various Washingtons with Facebook.

[kairos12]

7. Ran out of Polident before they got to Washington.

[EEO]

8. Those signs...

Their badges of ignorance. I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

[Cleita]

9. Or maybe this shows that the majority of Americans aren't assholes

after all although it sometimes seems otherwise.

[Scarsdale]

10. Failure

Their SSI checks were late! They heard $carah PayMe was NOT going to make it, since they would not pay her to be there.

[calimary]

11. Welcome to DU, Scarsdale!

Glad you're here! Yet another VERY WONDERFUL "Operation American Spring" thread - I'm keeping these for the guffaws! I have literally been laughing all weekend! DU is sometimes Deliriously-Funny Underground!

[Motown_Johnny]

12. If the voices in their heads count..... (n/t)

[Zambero]

13. Convoys decimated by black helicopter attacks

Media is covering up 10,000,000 in casualties.

[nolabear]

16. Because they can't find their butts with both hands.

That big ol' cowboy Wild West fantasy is the product of lives spent with little actual productivity and beaucoup frustration, and the difference between massaging the fantasy and actually being able to do anything even approaching actualization is vaaaaaaaaast. I think the belief that they could be special if only some massive betrayal wasn't keeping them from it is all that keeps them putting along at all.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

17. I've already read a few morans claim they didn't know about it....

They want the organizers to give em another chance.

(Keeping in mind there have been banner ads splashed over every RW website for months.)

[WhoIsNumberNone]

18. I don't know what all the fuss is about there were at least 30 million there

Brain cells. We are talking about brain cells, right?



If you're on Twitter, seach the hashtag #AmericanSpringExcuses

[Tommy_Carcetti]

19. Duck Dynasty marathon?

[BuelahWitch]

20. Reason #1: No rich fuck was willing to bankrole it

Somebody paid for the transportation to bus them to the previous rallies and provide big name speakers, and it wasn't Clem and Maisy. The Big Money Boys have used them and tossed them aside like yesterday's snotty kleenex. Anyone with half a brain could smell the astroturf from a mile away when the Tea Party arrived on the scene. Now the BMB are focusing on giving Jeb his "turn" in 2016.

[uponit7771]

27. +1

[Arugula Latte]

23. Uhh, it RAINED -- okay? Everyone knows bathroom doors swell shut in high-moisture conditions.

More than 20 million patriots were stuck in their throne rooms due to excessive precipitation, otherwise they would have been there to overthrow the government. Thanks, O'Barometer!

[tofuandbeer]

24. "6) It's not the quantity, it's the quality." :D

[bettyellen]

26. too many of them stayed home posting on DU, LOL!

[workinclasszero]

28. God rained on their hate parade....

So they did like all "patriots" and revolutionaries in the past did...

Called the whole thing off! lolololololFAIL! FAIL! FAIL! #Reichwingteabagtraitors!

[Jamastiene]

29. K&R