I'm incensed

[lillypaddle]

some of the people I admire most, some of my most progressive friends say things like:

"I don't post political stuff on my facebook page. I have friends on the right as well as the left."

WTF??????????????????

I am so frustrated and disgusted ... what can I say to them, if anything, to wake them up? Don't they realize that their "friends" on the right are keeping the rest of us down? Help me out here. These aren't stupid people. What can I say to them?

[SMC22307]

1. Stop trying to control who people are friends with.

It's Facebook, FFS, not everyone wants to use it for politics.

I have a couple of wingnut coworkers who I consider friends (albeit not close), and believe it or not, we can discuss politics.

[lillypaddle]

3. You're a better person than I am

I see these people as the enemy.

[SMC22307]

10. Well, I wouldn't go that far.

I just can't imagine going through life considering half the country "my enemy."

[JJChambers]

19. Lighten up

It's politics. They're not your enemies.

[scarletwoman]

2. You can't control what other people do, you can only control your own response to it.

When you say, what can I say to them, if anything, to wake them up?, you are making a judgement that they are not awake, but you are. It might be less frustrating for you to simply accept that they are where they're at, and leave it at that.

[lillypaddle]

4. ouch

I don't know if I can do that. Maybe I'm just a leftwing nut. But as far as I'm concerned they are a threat to my granddaughter's future. How can I overlook that?

[scarletwoman]

5. I assume you can post anything you want on FB. So, set the example of what you think is important.

Do your thing to the best of your ability. You really can't expect other people to care about your granddaughter as much as you do. All you can do is show what that kind of caring looks like.

[lillypaddle]

6. Thanks

good advice. I'll try. Admire you from afar.

[scarletwoman]

9. Dear lilypaddle, I admire you, too.

Trust in your ability to inspire others through your example!

[Brickbat]

7. Are you mad about how they have friends "on the right," or how they don't post anything?

And what would a solution for you look like?

[lillypaddle]

16. Honestly, I don't know

I guess I need to rethink this whole thing. Good question, though.

[840high]

8. I have never let politics

destroy friendships.

[Niceguy1]

11. I Facebook with a lot of family

And family is more important than politics.... and friendships, too.

[Jesus Malverde]

12. It's actually polite. The general rule is to not talk about religion and politics in mixed company.

Many people have co-workers, congregation members, or others whose politics they might not agree with but not annoy.

Tell them to come to DU, we have plenty of conservatives here who need some education.



we're all here for the political discussion, on Facebook not so much.

[NuclearDem]

13. A rightwing friend of mine saved me from a suicide attempt.

And took me into his home when I was in a really bad way.

As far as I'm concerned, his politics aren't an issue.

[etherealtruth]

15. I am glad there was someone there ... when you needed someone most

at the end of the day, that is what really matters

[Jenoch]

14. This has never become a problem for me because I'm not a Facebook user.

I agree with Betty White that it's an incredible waste of time. I also do not zend and recieve texts. Everbody who knows me knows they have to send me an e-mail or call my telephone to get in touch with me. If I did have a Facebook page, I'd keep the politics out of it.

[lillypaddle]

17. Thanks, everyone, for your feedback

It is really food for thought.

[Shankapotomus]

18. Our politics are a part of each of us

For some more than others. Why would you deny that part of yourself? If you are going to know me, you are going to know my politics. If my politics makes you so angry you can't talk to me or bare to see it, you need to find another friend.

When I had a Facebook page I posted my politics proudly but I refrained from putting it in the time line.

[RandoLoodie]

20. tell them: "DELETE FACEBOOK"

and shut off the tv for good measure.

[LWolf]

21. Why do you need to say anything to them?

Why not just respect their right to make their own FB choices?

Not everybody uses FB for the same purposes. My purpose? Not for political discussion, at least, not in the main. I'm on FB to keep up with friends and family who live so far away that I don't get to see them often. I don't have hundreds or thousands of friends; maybe 35 or 40 made up of family, friends, and some colleagues.

Our friendship, and our family time, is not based on politics. That's not what our conversations are about. I grew up in a generation who knew that religion and politics were topics that didn't belong in polite social conversation.

In general discourse, I tend not to offer opinions unless asked for them, or listen to them unless I asked. Opinions are like assholes...

If I want to discuss politics, I'll do it in person or online in a group that gathers for that purpose. I don't come from the Rush Limbaugh talk radio generation where I want to hear someone reinforce my stereotypes or put down those who disagree with me ad nauseum.

I DO post political stuff on FB; I post it in the FB groups I belong to that are politically based. My DU avatar references one of those.

[NCTraveler]

22. You are free to post what you want on your facebook page.

Sorry you don't like the content of theirs. I rarely post political things on my facebook. Some of my friends do. To each their own.

[Waiting For Everyman]

23. I see it your way, lillypaddle.

To me, right-wing friend is a contradiction in terms... so is right-wing American for that matter. (And to the extent that the left chooses to act like the right, the same goes for them too.) If someone doesn't want to hear what I think, then they don't have to know me.

How would I respond to your friends? I'd say something along the lines of, fine, then where do you draw the line? Would you be friends with someone who steals from the poor? Would you be friends with an assassin? A war profiteer? An environment destroyer? A gun-runner? How do you rationalize enough to be ok with oppression and violence against others? If you're friends with people whose votes put criminals like that into positions of power and extreme wealth, then how is that any better than being friends with the criminals themselves?

In my opinion, people who can elevate criminals like that would BE those criminals if they had the chance. That's who right-wingers are -- mini me wannabe tyrants. Those are friends? Really? Then, the friend of my enemy is my enemy. Or maybe it's more important not to piss off a golf buddy. Besides, for every person turned off by integrity, another person is won over by it -- it really doesn't make any difference.

The kindest thing I can say about the situation you describe is that I would seriously begin to question the judgment of those progressives that you admire.

Btw, I'm not on FB very much but most of what I post is political. That, and things I think are just cool, or useful. I have other ways of communicating with people I'm close to in real life, I don't need a public page for that. So if FB isn't a place for our views on politics and other aspects of life, then I don't really see the point of it.

[lillypaddle]

24. Great points

Thanks

[MO_Moderate]

25. No, they weren't

They were narrow minded opinionated exaggerations that promote hate of those who dare hold differing opinions and beliefs.
If you think we are all robots who must see and think the same, your friend is not the one with the problem.

[YarnAddict]

30. +1!

People who think we should all think alike are dangerous, IMHO.

[lillypaddle]

34. I think people who are

against a woman's right to choose ...
want to limit voting so minorities are unable to do so...
believe the earth is only 6000 years old, and deny climate change ...
THESE are the people who are dangerous.

[YarnAddict]

36. Hyperbole is also dangerous

and I see a lot of it in your posts.

[YarnAddict]

37. Here's the problem with this whole issue:

By your own admission, you do not associate with people who don't think the same way you do. So, the only thing you know about their opinions and their values is what others in your echo chamber tell you they think. You would definitely benefit, and appear to be far less ignorant, if you actually bothered to listen to those who disagree with you. I have friends on both sides of the political spectrum, and I learn from all of them.

Here, I'll help:

1. A woman's right to choose. Some on the right oppose abortion at any stage of pregnancy. Many others oppose third trimester abortion. Many want restrictions placed on children getting major surgery without a a parents' consent. Nearly none oppose a woman's right to choose to use birth control.

2. Limiting voting so "minorities are unable to do so." Flat out NO. They want to limit voting to those who are legally entitled to do so, and to do so only once. (Google Melowese Richardson.)

3. Believe the earth is only 6000 years old. I don't know anyone who thinks that, and even if they do, that belief has nothing to do with anything that affects me. If someone wants to believe that, or to believe in Santa, or the tooth fairy--who cares?

4. Deny climate change. Most on the right don't deny climate change; they simply don't believe in anthropogenic climate change. There is a huge difference in the two.

You would do well to be open-minded enough to actually listen to the opinions of others, and not be so judgmental about people who disagree with you.

[lillypaddle]

38. You are making a lot of assumptions about me

what you are accusing me of doing ... first of all, I DO know people who believe the world is 6000 years old, who believe homosexuality is a sin and whoever participates is going straight to hell. I have listened to plenty of them. That's why I came to my conclusion that I don't want to hear what they have to say any more. You would do well to be open-minded enough to actually listen to the opinions of others. Nuff said.

[lillypaddle]

35. See reply 34 nt

[MO_Moderate]

43. It is wrong and counterproductive to apply the extreme to the whole

In fact, this ridiculous 'you're either with us or against' attitude does nothing but cost our party much needed votes.

[GeorgeGist]

26. Many progressives are too polite.

[Throd]

27. Viewing everything through the prism of politics is a very narrow view.

Are you afraid that you might discover that people who hold different views aren't the evil caricatures it is so convenient to dismiss them as?

[Skittles]

29. conservatives endorse misogyny, homophobia, racism, they are anti-worker

they don't give a crap about the environment and they endorse senseless war and torture.....but hey, we need to hear their side

[Throd]

31. I'm not saying you need to hear their side.

Perhaps there is something other than politics to discuss from time to time.

[lillypaddle]

39. ^^this^^

exactly!

[Kelvin Mace]

28. One of the many reason I am not on Facebook

[ljm2002]

32. I don't post political stuff on my facebook page...

...there, I said it.

For me, facebook is for keeping in touch with family and friends. That's all I care to use it for. So I post stuff of personal interest to me, or that I think will be of interest to a number of my facebook contacts.

In fairness most of my friends on facebook are liberal. And none of them uses facebook for political stuff either. I'm okay with that.

I did "like" a post from a friend this morning regarding minimum wage, and how it should be a living wage.

That is one of the most political things I ever did on facebook. Well, apart from using Wendy Davis's shoes as my profile banner.

[TorchTheWitch]

40. mind your own business

Why are you trying to control other peoples' lives? If you don't like the other people in your friends' lives then get new friends. No doubt you'll try to control their lives as well, which will have you ending up with no friends. You're the one with the problem making one single thing the end all and be all of every aspect of your life and worse trying to force that on others. And in doing that you are no friend to them.

[lillypaddle]

41. WTF?

I'm not trying to control other people's lives ...I think it was last year's WH correspondents dinner that President Obama said (paraphrased) "People tell me to have a beer with Mitch McConnell, YOU have a beer wlth Mitch Mconnell"

The replies on this thread have been very telling for a "liberal board." There are apparently a lot of right wing people here on DU. What an eye opener.

I withdraw my original question. I was correct in my thinking all along.

[TorchTheWitch]

42. telling you to mind your own business

somehow makes me right wing. See, this is exactly your problem. Absolutely EVERYTHING to you is reduced to a political "side" and your labeling of people whether deserving or not based on that.

It's not any of your business who your friends chose to associate with or why. Your wanting to change who they associate with makes you guilty of trying to control their lives and based on YOUR criteria of what makes an acceptable friend and crazily enough for something as asinine as what party they prefer. You are no friend to these people by trying to control who they chose to be friends with or why. If you are so incensed over something to stupid then get other friends who you think will suit you better and stop trying to control these friends that mean so little to you that you want to control who they chose to be friends with and you haven't even bothered to know yourself.

The problem here is YOU. YOUR need to reduce everyone and everything to a label based purely on politics and going so far as to try to control who your friends associate with - whom you don't even know - based on your own political label criteria.