Donald Sterling Apologizes - Borowitz reveals (but will it matter?)

[Mira]

www.borowitzreport.com



LOS ANGELES (The Borowitz Report)—The Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling offered a “total and remorseful” apology for his racist comments today, telling reporters, “Once I saw that Donald Trump was defending me, I knew I had done something horribly wrong.”
Sterling acknowledged that he had turned a blind eye to a mountain of criticism from basketball luminaries and national leaders, but said that seeing Trump defend him on Fox News on Monday had left him “shaken.”
“Look, I know I’m not perfect,” he said. “But when Donald Trump takes your side, you have to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, ‘Have I become some kind of monster?’”

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

[kelliekat44]

2. Wish it were true just hurt the Donald. Satire is a gift. nt

[Hoyt]

3. Perfect.

[Avalux]

4. Soooo....it took Donald Trump defending him to make him apologize.

Since Sterling is a 1%er who believes everyone else is inferior to him, he considers Trump a peer and realized he'd better pay attention and do something. But he wasn't motivated by being genuinely sorry; he was motivated by his buddy calling him and telling him he'd better engage in damage control FAST or he could lose $$$$.

That's all that motivates these assholes. $$$$.

I know the OP is satire, but there may be quite a bit of truth to it.

[Mira]

5. That's what makes it so good. The fact it is exposing

and basing itself on truth.
Have you noticed there are no Republican Satirists of note??????

[monmouth3]

6. That was a glorious two'fer....n/t