Apparently I live in a VERY safe neighborhood!

[IdaBriggs]

Ask yourself if this would happen in YOUR neighborhood.

So, my husband is out of town on business, and the kids and I will be joining him at the end of the week.

One of my best friends usually watches our pets whenever we go out of town, but unfortunately, she was recently involved in a car accident (no one hurt, thank goodness!), and is temporarily without transportation.

So, she and I made arrangements for her to come get my husband's car last night to drive for the next few days, and while she takes care of the pets Thursday/Friday.

She was working late (which meant I couldn't pick her up as it was past the children's bedtime), so one of her other friends dropped her about 10:30 p.m.

She came in the house, we chatted briefly, and she left.

Five minutes later she called, because she had been pulled over three houses down because one of my neighbors reported "suspicious activity" involving my husband's vehicle.

We were both freaking out.

I stepped out of the house in my bathrobe (it was 10:45 p.m. and I was ready for bed), and discovered there was ANOTHER police car in front of my house, and a THIRD in front of one of the neighbors. (None of them approached me to verify her story.)

I hailed the police officer going toward my neighbors, asked if she was there because of my loaning my car to my friend, and insisted she had my permission to drive it, and everything was perfectly fine.

The police officer told me they were releasing my friend (!), who promptly drove the vehicle back to my house.

We hugged in my driveway, she came into the house, and the car that had detained her was noticeably visible/had followed her back (!), before that officer ALSO went into my neighbor's home.

I hailed that officer, again repeated that she driving the vehicle with my permission, and was told they were responding to "a report of suspicious activity."

So, to summarize, THREE POLICE CARS, with one of them WAITING FOR HER when she drove four houses away after being inside my home for probably less than ten minutes because of "a report of suspicious activity."

Guess what color she is. Guess what color I am.

ARGH!!!



I am so embarrassed she was treated that way. We've been good friends for nearly fifteen years; she gave my children their first hair cuts, and has lived with us (at this address!) before for nearly two months. My neighborhood is also *very* racially diverse.

I don't even know what to say to my neighbors (who are the same color she is), and who are very nice people.

Suggestions?

[yeoman6987]

1. Tough situation

First of all what wonderful neighbors. I mean I doubt that you have to worry about your home or possessions like your cars. You could just say thank you for looking out for you, but also explain what happened so that they know how their kindness ended up being a negative situation with your friend. Perhaps you could let your neighbors know when you are home and your husband is out of town or something to defuse their nervousness when they see something out of the ordinary happening at your home. Just be lucky you have such great neighbors. I would imagine most wished they had such nice people living in the area. Some fight over loud music, millions of cars parked all over the place, tree decisions on whose property owns the tree, etc.

[IdaBriggs]

5. They are very nice people; my friend has chatted with them over flowerbeds in the past.

We've lived in the neighborhood for over five years now, and frankly, my friend has arrived at my home at all hours of the day and night (sometimes while taking care of our pets, and sometimes just because she needed to make a pit-stop when driving somewhere), and like I said, actually stayed with us for over two months a few years back. She is a petite woman, and I've lost track of the number of times we've been talking until all hours.

It seemed very strange to us that "getting dropped off and going into a house" at 10:30 p.m. on a Monday night was suddenly "suspicious activity." The call must have been made before she left for them to stop her four houses down....



I told her I am just grateful she wasn't carrying Skittles!

[pnwmom]

19. It sounds like you may have Gladys Kravitts living across the street.

[SummerSnow]

51. "Abner, come look!"

[pnwmom]

52. Not now, Gladys. I'm busy!

[frazzled]

2. Sort of similar situation once

This was years ago. We went outside one spring morning and our young, yuppie-ish neighbors from across the street were in their yard: they asked if we'd heard the commotion the previous night. We hadn't. They explained that after midnight, a car was was parked in the drive behind our neighbor's garage blaring loud music. A young man -- of guess what color -- was in it and they were concerned our neighbor's house was being robbed. So they called the police.

I was completely gobsmacked. I knew right away what the situation was. "It was prom last night," I informed them, "and that was their older daughter's boyfriend!" I was angry, and asked them if they really thought someone who was going to commit a crime would be blaring their radio with music to call attention. D'oh. I further informed them that the young (black) man in question was class president of the kids' (prestigious) high school.

It was a hurtful situation for my neighbors. What more can one say? I know these other neighbors did not know the whole prom and date situation, but they jumped to a ridiculous conclusion. Fortunately, they moved away as soon as they had a baby: the city schools that I thought were excellent were "unsafe" to them. Sigh.

[IdaBriggs]

6. Because a thief *ALWAYS* turns up the radio!!!

Or goes into the house to talk with people before "stealing" a car.

Sigh.

[Ms. Toad]

3. You might find this interesting -

http://m.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/04/i-was-racially-profiled-in-my-own-driveway/360615/

[IdaBriggs]

7. I saw that a while ago.

What a ridiculous situation!

I was horrified when my friend reported how she responded.

"I am reaching down to get my bag. Here is my bag. I am a hair dresser, so my bag is large. It contains a curling iron and other supplies. I will now open my bag. What you are seeing are items I use for hair care. My wallet is on top. I am now reaching into the bag to pull out my wallet. Here is my driver's license."

She said she wasn't frightened; she was mad.

Personally, when she told me how she handled the situation, I was terrified.

And I keep flipping between scared to death for her, and mad as heck.

[belcffub]

4. three cars is kind of normal...

several years ago there was a car idling in front of my home... I had left and came back and noticed the car was idling but not that someone was inside... a couple of hours later I was going outside and I noticed it was still idling...

I looked and saw someone in the car out cold... A young man in his late teens early twenties...

I called our local police and reported it... in about 90 seconds the first car rolled up... 30 seconds later then next and at about the three minute mark a third...

they boxed the car in... one parked in front one in back and one along the side...

Then the first officer tapped on the glass and the young man woke up... the look on his face...

After a couple of minutes of talking to him and running his info he was asked to leave and the officer came and talked to me...

The young man had been in a fight with his parents and parked in front of our home and took a nap... 6 hours earlier... he had left the car running so he had AC...

Being a Fire Fighter I have seen the police many times since then and three cars seems to be a standard deployment... probably varies by area though... Our officers ride one per car...

[IdaBriggs]

8. Each officer seemed to be alone in the car.

That part makes logical sense, I guess.

Just not the part where my friend was detained for "suspicious activity" and the police never contacted me to verify the story, even when she offered to hand the phone to them (which okay, if I was a thief, I could have a friend "pretend" to be the person "loaning" me the car, but HELLO! they didn't even ask to see the registration!).

[belcffub]

10. yeah that seems weird...

I'd would not have taken the word of the person on the phone but would have wanted to verify things...

[RandoLoodie]

9. Try being a black/latino teenager

You got it easy. At least none of you were thrown to the ground, hooked up, and stomped on.

[IdaBriggs]

11. Neither of us are teenagers.

I cannot picture my own response to this situation.

I still don't even know what to say.

"Humiliating" keeps coming to mind.

and

[RandoLoodie]

12. I feel for ya

It is very humiliating.

[SevenSixtyTwo]

35. They do that to you guys too eh?

I'm lilly white and landed in jail decades ago with a concussion and bruises all over after being pulled over for speeding on a Harley late at night. It's not just blacks and latinos that get the club. It's anyone they perceive as not fitting their narrow opinion of what we should be.

[Liberal_in_LA]

50. plus 1

[B2G]

13. So are you saying your black neighbors

reported your black friend? And that it's racial profiling?

I would say 'thank you for looking out for me' and leave it at that.

[IdaBriggs]

14. Yes. My BLACK neighbors reported a BLACK woman (who has regularly

gone in and out of my home at all hours of the day and night and previously lived with us for two months) going into the home of a WHITE family in a racially diverse neighborhood as "suspicious activity."

All of the entry lights were on. She was in the home for about ten minutes.

She was stopped while driving in a completely safe and appropriate way because of this "suspicious activity."

I have no idea what the "suspicious activity" was supposed to be.

[B2G]

15. "Guess what color she is. Guess what color I am."

Then it doesn't sound to me like this was about her race.

[pipi_k]

16. My question

to you would be, do you consider it racism...racial profiling...etc.

[IdaBriggs]

17. I can't help but be suspicious.

The "suspicious" activity apparently involved a car pulling into my driveway, the (male) driver getting out and opening the passenger door for my female friend, the two exchanging a hug, and then her walking on my sidewalk to my front door as the car drove away.

This is NOT "suspicious activity" in any other place that I am personally aware of - I am still in a situation about it.

I plan on speaking to my neighbors to find out if there was anything else involved - maybe there was a prowler lurking about, and the police became confused by a woman *exiting my home, getting into a car, and driving down the street* --

Every time I think about it, I get mad and embarrassed all over again.

Sigh.

[seveneyes]

18. Confusing

I'm trying to form a mental picture but can't follow who is driving the car....

"...a car pulling into my driveway, the (male) driver getting out and opening the passenger door for my female friend, the two exchanging a hug, and then her walking on my sidewalk to my front door as the car drove away."

"...a woman *exiting my home, getting into a car, and driving down the street*"

Please pardon my confusion. The first statement implies (to me) the male drove the car off, while the second states a (the) woman driving away.

[IdaBriggs]

23. I am sorry - I understand the confusion based on my pronouns.

There were two cars - my friend was dropped off by her male friend, and he promptly left after dropping her off/never came into the house. After talking with me inside of my home for about ten minutes, my friend (who is female) left in the vehicle I was loaning her.

[seveneyes]

40. Thank you - I have the picture now

And I agree, the police hassle is quite strange. My own paranoia would make me consider someone in the neighborhood doesn't like someone...assuming they did call the police.

[pipi_k]

20. OK, so the reason I asked

if you thought racial profiling was involved...

Because if this had been a white neighborhood, I'm quite sure that people would have been crawling out of the woodwork in droves, claiming it absolutely HAD to be racial profiling.

But sometimes it's not, and you gave some pretty good alternate reasons as to why the whole incident may have happened.

[840high]

49. You have good neighbors who

looked out for you. Say thank you.

[lumberjack_jeff]

27. Black people aren't immune to stereotyping by virtue of being black.

I also would tell the black neighbors "thank you for looking out for me"... but in my office's neighborhood I wish someone would keep an eye on the white tweakers.

I have good pictures of him... as he was stealing my security cameras.

[Taitertots]

21. "Suspicious activity" has become a catch all for cops to harass anyone at anytime

What crime did they have reason to believe she was committing?

We need laws that specify that an action can't be "suspicious" unless it creates that reasonable belief that a crime is occurring.

[IdaBriggs]

24. Exactly!

Seriously, what was "suspicious" about any of the events I have described?

[Taitertots]

37. There was no reason to believe that a crime had taken place

Police just use any excuse to interject into any situation they want.

[oneofthe99]

26. They could only go by what dispatch told them

Possible break in , car theft

[IdaBriggs]

30. She was in the house for ten minutes.

They were waiting for her when she was about four houses away.

Sigh. I still don't know what was "suspicious".

[oneofthe99]

33. Maybe I'm a little confused here

The police were sitting outside your home and watched her get in your car and then stopped her?
Or it was at that time they drove up and saw her pull out of your address?

[IdaBriggs]

42. To be fair, I am not sure.

She was STOPPED about four houses down my street; since they can't teleport, this means they were called while she was in my home.

When I stepped out of my home while still on the cell phone with her while the officer was running her driver's license (he never asked to see registration), there were already two ADDITIONAL cars - one parked in front of my home, and the other in front of the house next door. The officer from the vehicle in front of my neighbors was walking toward their front door; I never saw the officer from the vehicle in front of my home.

I was barefoot and in a bathrobe; I hailed the officer from my driveway/sidewalk.

The vehicle that stopped her followed her back/turned around to park on the side of the road closest to the houses. I also hailed that officer.

No one came to my house to inquire if there had been any "suspicious activity" for which my guest required being investigated.

[oneofthe99]

44. now that is very odd

"No one came to my house to inquire if there had been any "suspicious activity" for which my guest required being investigated."

They should have went to your house but they did see you and you waved to them in your bathrobe from your front door
and it corresponded with what your friend told the police.

She had you on the phone and she drove back to your driveway.

They saw it was all a misunderstanding , still though they should have made contact with you.

[Taitertots]

32. The police never said that (based on what the OP has said)

It is really a silly excuse to justify police harassment. There is nothing about this case that would indicate that the car was being stolen.

If you want to put the blame on a dispatcher who refuses to ask basic questions about the scene to determine whether or not a crime has been committed, that is your prerogative. I refuse to accept that "suspicious activity" should be used to arbitrarily detain people when there is no reason to believe they committed any crimes.

[oneofthe99]

34. The police won't know the whole discussion from a 911 call

They were dispatched to a call on a possible

[Taitertots]

38. Let me repeat what I've said previously as a response

If you want to put the blame on a dispatcher who refuses to ask basic questions about the scene to determine whether or not a crime has been committed, that is your prerogative. I refuse to accept that "suspicious activity" should be used to arbitrarily detain people when there is no reason to believe they committed any crimes.

A "possible"... What crime?

[oneofthe99]

39. arbitrarily detain people ? There was nothing arbitrary about it.

They were responding to a 911 call

[Taitertots]

41. What crime? What reason do they have to believe that it was being committed?

[oneofthe99]

45. 911 call

It would be the same right now this exact minute if I dialed 911
and said I just heard my neighbors fighting and a possible scream and something bad might just have happened but I'm not sure.

Guess what would happen? It could just be a ordinary argument that couples have but the police will knock on that door( and ask to see both parties if only one answers the door)....same thing

Her neighbor said something to 911 where it was enough to dispatch the police to investigate it.

[Taitertots]

46. A 911 call is not reasonable suspicion that a crime is being committed

Nothing her neighbor saw could have constituted reasonable suspicion that a crime is being committed. Her neighbor said something to dispatch (not something a reasonable person believes constitutes criminal activity) and police used that as justification for arbitrary detention and harassment.

[oneofthe99]

48. If a car is dispatched by a 911 call it has to respond.

[pipi_k]

56. But the police

have no way of knowing what's going on unless they respond to the call.

Someone calls 911 and reports suspicious activity, and they have to go.

And people who call 911 to report "suspicious activity" sometimes are not reasonable...but, again, the police have no way of knowing that.

[Taitertots]

58. Just so we are clear...

Is it your position is that police should detain, search, interrogate people when there is no reason to believe they are breaking the law("Suspicious activity&quot ; because they don't know if a crime has taken place.

[Supersedeas]

57. or just ignore the call

[oneofthe99]

22. Sounds like you have good neighbors

I wouldn't be too upset over what happened.

[IdaBriggs]

25. My friend was stopped for "suspicious activity" -

I still can't figure out what she did that was either "suspicious" or why it needed three police cars (that my taxes paid for investigating this "suspicious" activity).

[oneofthe99]

28. There was a 911 call to the police

The officers went by what could be a possible as told to by dispatch

[IdaBriggs]

29. Yes. I would like to know what that was.

My current theory is that it probably started when the male driver opened the passenger door for her.

[oneofthe99]

31. You said the ones that called are very nice people

They might have just looked out and watch her get into your car?

Maybe they didn't see the whole thing transpire , they just looked out side late at night and thought they saw
something odd. Really they do sound like good people and neighbors.

[IdaBriggs]

43. They called BEFORE she got into the car.

A car pulled in, some one went to my front door/entered my home, and they called the police?

There *has* to be more to this story.

[oneofthe99]

47. Something didn't sit right with what they saw

From what you said these people aren't crazy ,
They must have thought they saw something odd .

It's night time and shadows will play tricks on people , lighting etc...

[kcr]

53. They couldn't have called or come over to ask what was going on?

No, I wouldn't have been happy with my neighbors at all.

[oneofthe99]

55. Maybe but she might not have that type of relationship with them

I have neighbors I wave to in my neighborhood when they drive by or when they see me working in my yard
but I don't have their number to call them. She might not be that close to them.

As to just walking over late at night to her house. I don't know , if they think they saw something so wrong where they dialed 911
it sounds like they thought they saw a crime happening . I don't think this was done in any type of nefarious way by them.

They called out of concern.

[AverageJoe90]

36. Damn, Ida. So sorry your friend had to go thru that.

Sad thing is, the remnants of structural racism are still hanging on in this society even today, as evidenced by the OP.

Honestly, though, I'm not exactly sure what you can say to your neighbors, though. You can, however, offer support.

[gerogie2]

54. Look at the bright side..

at least they didn't plant drugs on her or claim she was resisting arrest then shoot her dead.

[IdaBriggs]

59. The thought of her getting shot did go through my mind.

She had a curling iron in her large handbag; she was very careful to disclose this so there wouldn't be any "misunderstandings."

[KamaAina]

60. I was going to guess what color she is.

Looks like I was right.