You ever get a call from the "Windows Technical Dept"?

[SomethingFishy]

Holy shit this was pretty funny. Some idiot calls me, says he's from the Windows Technical Dept and there is a problem with my computer and he's calling out of the goodness of his heart to help me out.

So he goes into his spiel, "you computer is infected with many hacker viruses.. blah blah blah.." then he tells me I need to go to my computer and open my start menu. So of course being the obliging person I am I go to my computer and the fun begins:

"Sir I need you to right click on your start menu and tell me what options you see"

"Um, where is the start menu?"

"In the lower left hand corner sir"

"Nope I don't see it".

"Sir it's the big button on the bottom left that says "start"

"Nope no start menu".

"Sir you must have a start menu did you rearrange your desktop?"

"Nope, and no start menu"

"Sir what do you see on your screen?"

"Well I see a giant Linux Logo"

That was when he called me an asshole and hung up. You gotta love when a scammer gets mad because you didn't fall for the scam.

So just FYI if the Windows Technical Dept calls you, it's bullshit

[dipsydoodle]

1. I tell them I've got 4 computers

and ask which one they refer too.

They hang up.

[Nika]

2. Scams like this are all too common these days.

They want your payment information for their work allegedly fixing your computer from malware so they can empty your bank account. Nice play on your part.

[elleng]

3. That's GOOD,

a giant Linux Logo!

[pinboy3niner]

4. The "Windows Technical Department"...

"Hello, this is Peggy..."

[SummerSnow]

5. Got a similar call a few months ago..

I told them all the animal porn is infecting my comp. Can you help me? Then they hung up.lol

[Electric Monk]

6. LOL, yeah right, you're the asshole, not the phone scam artist

I usually just ask them to tell me my IP address first. That shuts them up too. Your way is funnier, though.

[badtoworse]

7. Brilliant!

[wandy]

8. A way to have more fun...........

This was about "you're PC is sending out error messages".
I said which one?
They said "all of them"
I said, "a register entry is blocking you from seeing my CPU ID."
I said type Win+r and then type regedit.
They said.......
expletive, Click!

Had they been a little less informed the fun would have started when I said...
Now Reboot.

[Archae]

9. I get them about once a week.

It's always some ditwit who learned broken English fairly recently, and I confuse the hell out of the scammer by asking if he is calling about my 1 terabyte computer with Windows 7, or the 500 gigabyte one with Windows 8.

Or my 300 gig laptop with Windows 8.

I hang up then.

[TlalocW]

10. If I'm fast enough when I get a strange number

I put the phone number that shows up on my phone into Google and pull up the first result to see what scam the number is associated with and then answer the phone offering the scam to them. So when I got a call from these guys, I answered...

Hi, this is TlalocW. I'm calling from Microsoft because our records show that your system is infected with a dangerous virus, and we need to get it off your computer.

Ten full seconds of silence then, "Thank you," and a hangup.

But I was REALLY concerned about their system, so I called them... five more times... each time, getting the same person and I got more and more insistent and louder about how they had a virus on their computer, and I was calling from Microsoft, and I needed access to their system to get rid of it.

They finally blocked my number.

TlalocW

[Denzil_DC]

12. That's brilliant! Nice work.

I can usually spot these types of calls from the get-go (the babble of a busy call center in the backgound before they rev up is usually a giveaway and we're on the do not call list so no legit firm should be calling us anyway), so I recently thought of trying something similar to what you did the next time we got such a call, but I haven't had the chance yet.

[TlalocW]

14. My next thing

I took a harmonica class several years ago, and the only thing I learned - because the teacher preferred to just talk about blues players he had met and/or played with - was a basic blues riff. The kind where the bluesman says something then there's a bah-DAH-dah-daah and then says something more depressing, etc.

This is what I'll be doing with the next telemarketer...

I answered my cell
Bah-DAH-dah-daah
Some jerk's on the line
Bah-DAH-dah-daah
I said I answered my cell
Bah-DAH-dah-daah
And some jerk is on the line
Bah-DAH-dah-daah
Well, if he just checked the National Do Not Call registry
He wouldn't be wastin' my time
(Solo)

TlalocW

[Denzil_DC]

11. We've been plagued by them for a couple of years.

I've responded with various tactics (never in a good mood when they call as I work from home and time's money, and I can spot them the minute I pick up the phone, so I tend to cut to the chase), and sometimes provoked them to fits of extreme profanity, which is hilarious, but the other day I got a call with a new twist:

*RING* *RING*

"Hello?"

"Can I speak to Mr. DC?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm calling from {obviously made-up company name}. We understand you've been receiving quite a few nuisance calls over the past few months ..."

"Is this another of them?"

"???"

"You're just another bunch of crooks trying to defraud me on the back of all these other bogus calls ..."

"{barely audible} Shit."

*CLICK BRRRRR*

[Purrfessor]

13. I got a "tech" call today...

Foreign dude: I'm calling about the computer. Can I speak to the owner of the computer?

Me: I don't have a computer. (I got up from the computer to answer the phone)

Foreign dude: You don't have a computer?

Me: No

Silence

[Spider Jerusalem]

15. I had one of those.

Indian accent, said his name was "Mike" or "Sam" or "Bill" or something somewhat improbable. "We have report of virus activity on your computer." "I have Linux." (silence for a beat, then) "Lee-nooks? What...?" "Well, you're not much of a computer technician if you don't know what Linux is, are you?" *click*

[pnwmom]

16. My story about the Windows dept. might be even funnier.

My sister told the guy, over and over, that he should call back when her husband got home. That she didn't want to touch anything on the computer in case she just made the problem worse.

He kept pushing and she pushed back harder. And she won. Finally.

Because she seriously did not want to accidentally wreck the computer and she had no idea that the call was a scam.

[hfojvt]

17. but I was having problems at the time

several sites were failing to load.

finally I did what I call a "cold re-boot" and that seemed to clear things up.

[sherihah]

18. Used to get those all the time!

[eridani]

19. Some idiot called me at 10pm PDT and said that my computer had been compromised

--and I needed to let him have access so he could fix it. Jeebus but they are coming out of the woodwork this week.

[eridani]

20. OH--BTW DUzy n/t