Are you a bully and don't even know it?

[xchrom]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46835489/ns/business-forbes_com/


The first time I was called a bully, I was 8 years old and had just coerced my Girl Scout troop into forgoing sleepaway camp for an overnight in my own backyard. I didn’t really like being away from home, and put my fear to work convincing nine third graders that my parent’s house, tucked into five acres of heavily wooded New Jersey mountaintop was in fact, a more “natural” experience than any well-oiled summer camp ever could be. “I don’t care if you’ve never been to Connecticut,” I told them, “That camp is stupid and you’re stupid for wanting to go.”

Case closed.

By the age of 13 I had become a skilled tyrant, an emotional manipulator of my peers. I was never a physical fighter, but I was certainly well-versed at getting what I wanted by any means necessary. I was no monster, but let’s just say I was responsible for a meltdown or two in a girls’ bathroom. My mother, if she’s reading this, is nodding her head in agreement. Now that I’m older and (nominally) less self-absorbed, I rarely feel compelled to criticize friends and colleagues for their decisions, but if I’m being 100 percent honest I can’t say that my bossy streak has ever completely left my system.


So when a ForbesWoman reader told me about a new e-book she was working on that would help me to look at my behavior in an objective way, I was intrigued.

“Try watching yourself over the coming weeks,” says Henriette Eiby Christensen, a Danish FW reader and the author of several titles on behavior including her newest "110 Ways To Detect A Bad Relationship." “Watch how people react when you speak to them, especially when you are upset with them. Look in their eyes. Do they look scared?”

[mathematic]

1. Huh. 58% of workplace bullies are women.

The idea is that this is because physical bullying (which is more common among male bullies than female bullies) is far less acceptable in the workplace than non-physical bullying (which is more common among female bullies than male bullies). This seems plausible to me.

The implications are interesting. Since bullying works for the bully and as gender becomes less and less a factor in employment decisions will this result in women coming to dominate in positions where bullies have the most power (i.e. management)?

I'm also curious, in this increasingly digital world of non-physical interactions, if this same idea applies to non-workplace bullying. In particular two interesting digital places of interaction come to mind, online gaming and internet forums. Do women make up a greater % of bullies in these places? Does that translate into greater representation in the roles with the most power?