Unwilling to Allow His Wife a Divorce, He Marries Another

[n2doc]

Meir Kin, right, married Daniela Barbosa on Thursday night, though he has refused Lonna Kin an Orthodox Jewish divorce. Credit Isaac Brekken for The New York Times


LAS VEGAS — The wedding was a modest affair, held in a reception hall overlooking an artificial lake tucked behind a suburban strip. But just minutes after it ended, the bride and groom hurriedly scurried past dozens of protesters here who were chanting “Bigamist!” and “Shame on you!”

One of the wedding guests on Thursday evening glared at the demonstrators, repeatedly hissing: “Mazel tov. Mazel tov. Mazel tov.” The bride, in a lace and sequin floor-length gown, grasped the hand of her husband and looked at the crowd in silence.

Meir Kin, the new husband, has been divorced for more than seven years, under California’s civil law. But he has refused to give his previous wife the document known as a “get,” as required by Orthodox Jewish law to end a marriage. In the eyes of religious authorities, the woman he married in 2000 is what is called an agunah — Hebrew for chained wife. Without the get, the woman, Lonna Kin, is forbidden under Jewish law to remarry.

Jewish law prohibits men from taking multiple wives. But Mr. Kin, according to several rabbis here, apparently relied on a legal loophole, which says that if a man can get the special permission of 100 rabbis to take a second wife, he is able to do so.

more

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/22/us/a-wedding-amid-cries-of-unfinished-business-from-a-marriage.html?_r=1

[WhiteTara]

1. I'll bet he is a republican. nt

[SheilaT]

2. You can't assume that.

The real issue is that the "get" confers (in my opinion) far too much power to the man in these cases.

I've known Reform Jews to balk at granting the get to a similarly long-divorced first wife just out of spite. To me, the real issue is that women are willing to put up with this sort of bullshit. If your religion won't recognize your secular divorce then you need to seriously reconsider if your religion actually respects you as a person.

Just my take here.

[WhiteTara]

4. So true,

I too would be out of that religion in a heartbeat; but I tend to see it as the Stockholm Syndrome and it is ingrained how ever many thousand years of being beaten down into today so that she can't get out. So I guess that I see it as a core issue of human worth which is beyond religion.

[redqueen]

6. The misogyny inherent in almost all religion

has always made me puzzle that women would raise their daughters with any such beliefs.

Religions which aren't inherently misogynist, that I get. But this? Christianity?

[WhiteTara]

7. Which ones aren't misogynistic?

All current religions and philosophies (except for Pagans) inherently hate women.

It is my belief that they are all based on hatred of women and women's power. Somewhere along the path, the matriarch went astray and the backlash has had several thousand years of repercussions. But the Goddess never died and balance has to be restored because of the nature of things.

[redqueen]

8. Paganism is the only exception I could think of as well.

I can't help being hopeful that maybe I missed one.

[WhiteTara]

15. Nope. They were all stamped out. nt

[Nine]

11. I'll be sure to tell that to the female pastor I know.

"All current religions and philosophies (except for Pagans) inherently hate women."

Got it.

[WhiteTara]

14. It may not be on a personal level

(I'm sure your pastor is nice) I'm speaking of the basic philosophy that drives the religion.

[SharonAnn]

12. A variation on "If I can't have you, no one else can have you, either."

[WhiteTara]

13. Or the dog with bone theory maybe

I don't want you but I'll just keep you around "in case"

[frazzled]

3. I don't entirely "get" something about this

Look, I'm Jewish, but only in the most general kind of way. I grew up a Reform Jew (during the time when Reform Judaism was actually progressive and reform-minded). And while I understand that a Jewish marriage is a legal contract (not a religious rite), and even my husband and I (I think) signed a "ketubah"--a traditional Jewish marriage contract, which I always thought of as just a symbolic, pretty and artistically decorated document to hang somewhere to please the old folk (see picture below)--I never thought you would actually need a legal document to get divorced, beyond the civil legal kind of thing.

This woman could get legally married again, since she has a civil divorce decree. That doesn't seem to be the entire issue. It's about this creep trying to use the get to extort a financial settlement and custody arrangement. If she just ignores the need for the get, doesn't this threat just disappear and revert to the civil legal domain?

Oh, I just don't understand this kind of mishegas. "Religion" isn't the problem, it's fundamentalist clinging to outmoded traditions that cause the problems.

[avebury]

10. Once you give in to a blackmailer, you can be assured,

the blackmail will not be over. Besides dealing with this nasty piece of work, she needs to be concerned about what negative influence the ex might have on her son. Does she want to risk her son turning into a younger version of his dad?

[seabeyond]

5. and then we have SOME men on du wonder why women are so disgusted and angry.... with the misogyny

in all our lives and in our world.

[avebury]

9. $500,000 and sole custody of her son is

nothing more then blackmail! If she is stupid enough to agree to his blackmail, just like any other blackmailer this will not be the last of it. He will turn around and sue her for child support as well. She needs to sue for sole custody to keep the boy away from living in a hostile environment. She needs to ditch the Jewish religion and seek spiritual comfort elsewhere if that is important to her. She could consider introducing her son to other religions to broaden his knowledge of world religion (it has the bonus effect of probably making her ex's head explode).

[lanlady]

16. Lonna holds the power in her hands

To walk away from outmoded religious customs and beliefs. She is legally divorced in the eyes of civil law. I hope she marries an atheist and goes on to lead a long, happy life.

[surrealAmerican]

17. He got 100 rabbis to agree to this?

That is some serious rabbinical malpractice.