Rand Paul: Hillary Could Be Derailed by Little-Known Lewinsky Affair - secret told by Andy Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Potential Republican Presidential candidate Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) said today that he believes he has a “secret weapon” that will derail Hillary Clinton’s 2016 White House bid: “A little-known affair between her husband and a White House intern, Monica Lewinsky.”

Appearing on the Fox News Channel, Paul told the host Sean Hannity, “Sean, when the American people find out about this scandal, they are going to be shocked, truly shocked. It didn’t get a lot of coverage at the time.”
Asked by Hannity how the scandal could have remained under wraps for so long, Paul replied, “You’ll have to ask Bill and Hillary that. Let’s just say they’ve pulled a lot of strings to keep this story out of the mainstream media.”
“Unfortunately for them, Sean, I have the details on this juicy scandal and I’m prepared to share them with the American people,” he said. “I think it’s going to be a game-changer.”

While he believes that the shocking revelations about President Clinton’s Oval Office dalliances will be enough to destroy Hillary’s 2016 ambitions, Paul confirmed that he has other arrows in his quiver.
“It turns out that Hillary was involved in a business deal called Whitewater,” he said. “When the American people find out about this, it’s going to blow their minds.”

www.borowitzreport.com

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

Andy Borowitz has found the explanation as to why Rand Paul keeps pushing this story

[malthaussen]

8. Two sentences in, I'm looking at the link for Onion or Borowitz.

Great stuff. Poe's Law rules.

-- Mal

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

2. Why isn't focusing on the real issues, like the Y2K and the conflict in Bosnia??!!! nt

[MADem]

3. Hardy-har-har!!!

I guess even Rove told that moron that this topic is a stinker-clinker!

Now all that's left is for the comedians like Borowitz to have fun with it...

[Rex]

4. The funny thing is, Rand is actually that out of touch with reality.

He is way past the point of cray cray.

[Gothmog]

11. The best satire has some truth in it

In this case, it is clear that Rand Paul really thinks that this is a good issue which is very sad

[indepat]

5. The fact that the likes of Rand Paul get elected to high public office is a searing

indictment of the electorate's judgment, rationality, and good sense imo.

[Scuba]

6. I don't think it's Bill's libido that's the problem ....

[reusrename]

14. Damn!

It just got a little chilly in here.



-wish I could rec a post-

[Blue Owl]

7. Pull that out from deep under the rug, Rand

n/t

[Thinkingabout]

9. When Paul doesn't have anything smart to say he pukes crap, again its all crap.

He can't talk about the issues because it would give away how out of touch he really might be. It should be a requirement before earmarks can go home with these guys they have to vote yes. An old Paul trick is to attach earmarks to a bill they know is going to pass, collect the money and run home to declare Oh, look what I brought home" and then declare I never voted for the money to be spent.
His dad did this and now I have heard Rand with the same crap.

Also, if Paul is going to bring up Bill's taking advantage of a female he needs to clean his house first.

[wandy]

12. As much as I like Andy Borowitz, sometimes he cheats...........

Ok, I can't blame him if somebody going to make your job easier for you, you might as well take advantage of it.
It's just that its not fair. Writing satire about the great Teapublican champions comes down to changing a few words and switching the order of a few sentences.
Don't get me wrong, I admire Borowitz. But heck even I could do some piece of satire about Rand Paul getting all ticked off at some reporter and having his bodyguard stomp on her neck. That would be passable satire. Now if I added to the story how that might have helped Rand get elected.......
That would be worthy of Borowitz.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/25/rand-paul-supporter-stomps-head_n_773857.html

[phantom power]

13. there are people now of voting age who will have no memory of that

"Monica who?" "Bill who?"

their play book is that empty?