Choosing Comfort Over Truth: What It Means to Defend Woody Allen

[alp227]

Jessica Valenti on February 3, 2014 - 2:56 PM ET

I’ve never watched a Woody Allen movie. My parents refused to rent them after he began a “relationship” with Soon-Yi Previn and their explanation stuck with me through adulthood. I was around 13 years old at the time, and always looking to pick a fight—I asked why it mattered since Previn wasn’t his "real" daughter. My parents sat me down and talked about the responsibility adults have to children, and certain boundaries that parents and parental figures must respect.

As I grew older—as I had teachers come on to me as a teen, as I experienced the way grown men get away with sexualizing girls—I understood the significance of what my parents told me. Today, as an adult, I know that when we make excuses for particular, powerful men who hurt women, we make the world more comfortable for all abusers. And that this cultural cognitive dissonance around sexual assault and abuse is building a safety net for perpetrators that we should all be ashamed of.

We know one in five girl children are sexually assaulted. Yet when victims speak out, we ask them why they waited so long to talk. We question why don’t they remember the details better. We suspect that they misunderstood what happened.

We know that abusers are manipulative, often charismatic, and that they hide their crimes well. We know that they target women and children who society will be less likely to believe - low-income women, children of color, the disabled, women who can be discredited as “crazy.” Yet when the caretakers of children who have been abused come forward, we call them “vengeful,” as Allen’s lawyer called Mia Farrow. We accuse them of trying to “alienate” their children from the abusing parent. Or, as one of Allen’s friends did in a shameful article for The Daily Beast—we simply insinuate that the protective parent is just a slut, so how can you believe anything she says anyway?

We know—as Aaron Bady at The New Inquiry wrote—“we are in the midst of an ongoing, quiet epidemic of sexual violence, now as always. We are not in the midst of an epidemic of false rape charges.”

Yet despite all of these things that we know, our culture will bend over backwards to inject doubt into Dylan Farrow’s harrowing open letter about being sexually assaulted by Allen.

full: http://www.thenation.com/blog/178203/choosing-comfort-over-truth-what-it-means-defend-woody-allen

[CBGLuthier]

1. Seems to me the ones bending over backwards to change reality are the Farrow

supporters.

[bravenak]

3. Seems to me that you didn't read what was written.

It made perfect sense.

[kwassa]

11. but it doesn't fit what is known of the facts of the case.

There is simply the assumption of guilt about Woody Allen.

[Marr]

2. "Comfort" here would be claiming to know the truth, and piling on

with condemnations when it's easy to do so. It's less comfortable, as an observer, to admit that we do not know, that no one's claims are unassailable or infallible, and to point that out in defense of someone accused of the most heinous of abuses.

[Igel]

4. If you're not for me you're against me.

One can refuse to accept the accuser's claims as fact without defending Allen.

It's not about him. To fail to accept the accusations as truth is not defending him.

It's not about her. To fail to accept the accusations as truth is not to claim she's lying.

It's about me and what happens in my braincase. It's about my standards of evidence, standards of proof, and what I think true about the human brain and the limits of memory.

That people think my opinion matters in the least is a kind of neurosis. It doesn't matter. In the least. And never will. It's like strangers who require that I approve of them. Or appreciate them. Ridiculous.

[Vinnie From Indy]

5. Everyone is free to think Allen is guilty or not.

The Constitution of the United States gives Allen the right to be tried in front of a jury of his peers. It is exactly because of emotional cases like this that we have our right to a trial by jury. Personally, I have no idea about Allen's behavior, but I deeply hope that if there is evidence of a crime that prosecutors would treat Allen the same as anyone else.

[eShirl]

7. doesn't apply; he's not going to be tried in a court of law

statute of limitations

[AnneD]

6. I use to love Woody Allen....

but I have never watched, rented, or purchased anything since then. While Woody Allen may not technically be Soon Yi's biological father, he was held out an adult father figure in her life. As such, he had a moral duty to act as a father. A proper parent is suppose to guide children into responsible adulthood, not groom them for for what is basically an incestuous relationship. I am particularly sickened when Hollywood applauds this man. He may have talent but to my mind he is nothing more than a pedophile. It is just plain indecent.

[Botany]

10. Well said!

Last edited Tue Feb 4, 2014, 07:59 PM - Edit history (1)

I used to like his work but once he started a sexual relationship with a young
lady who in the context of a family was his daughter I haven't watched a thing
by him again. He is a creep.

[AnneD]

17. It was a particularly nasty divorce....

each side said and did regrettable things. However, it is his actions after the divorce that has given me cause for concern. I don't know if Dylan has an accurate or implanted memory, I cannot be a judge. However, Mr. Allen's behavior and actions tend to cause me to view additional claims with less skepticism.

[Vashta Nerada]

18. Agreed.

[Starry Messenger]

8. k&r

[Comrade Grumpy]

9. I don't know what really happened, and find these discussions fruitless.

The whole thing seems mainly like a touchstone for people to continue their ongoing internet discussion battles. Most of the players here are very familiar, and everybody lines up on the usual sides. Ho-hum.

[LibDemAlways]

13. I agree with you. No one here

was involved. There has been a tremendous amount of misinformation presented as fact by people who haven't bothered to do any research. There is ultimately no use arguing over something that may or may not have occurred in someone else's family over 20 years ago.

[1000words]

16. Particularly when it's presented as "My way or the highway."

Which, by the way, is about as far from a progressive attitude as you can get.

[Estevan]

12. It is truly amazing

How far people will go to defend this. This is an epidemic centuries old. I know at least 2 girls who were subject to sexual abuse while I was in school.

[LittleBlue]

14. I couldn't care less about his relationship with Soon Yi

Some artists are eccentric. If they weren't, their art would suck.

As far as I know, he hasn't broken any laws with Soon Yi. It might be creepy but it's irrelevant.

[JDPriestly]

15. I'm not going to defend anyone. But considering the amount of child molestation

that goes on, I just wish we could do something to stop the predators besides putting them in jail. We need some kind of treatment that stops them. Pointing an accusatory finger may be very satisfying, may make us feel very righteous, but this is one of a number of social problems that needs a better solution than just putting people in jail so that they can come out again some years later and helplessly and hopelessly repeat their offense.

I'm not suggesting that we should ignore the problem. I am suggesting that we need to put a lot more money and energy into trying to find out how to stop the problem.

At the same time, I have to say that I have known cases in which children were definitely molested, but I have also known cases in which an angry wife or girlfriend would avenge herself by falsely accusing someone.

So, one of the things that needs to be studied in this area is the psychological profile if there is one of a predator of this sort.

Some of the predators think they have done nothing wrong and feel no remorse. There is something wrong with them. On the other hand, child molestation can be a compulsion, so in that sense, the person who does it may lie to himself that he has done it.

We need a lot more research on this, and we need to encourage more parents to watch for the signs of molestation in their children and report it right away. At this point, I don't think that the offenders can be helped much, but I might be wrong because there may be recently developed treatments that I don't know about.