BYU encourages students to rat each other out for touching themselves down there

[RandySF]

#t=16

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Also for looking at porn on their computers

(which is probably inspiring that touching thing). I can imagine a scenario like this:

A student, Harry Palme, is in his dorm room, looking at porn on his computer. And maybe touching himself. His roommate, Joe Smith, enters quietly. Harry doesn't hear him.

JOE: Harry! Are you looking at unclean images on your computer? You know that's not permitted. I'll have to tell the bishop. And I know you do that other thing, I can hear you breathing at night. Oh, my goodness, look at that disgusting video!

HARRY: Damn it, Joe, don't sneak up on me like that. (slams laptop shut)

JOE: Open up your computer again, Harry. I need to see what evil is corrupting your soul so I can get Jesus to help you. And the bishop. (opens up the computer)

HARRY: Joe, just go away. I don't want to talk to the bishop, or Jesus.

JOE: Wow, I didn't know it was possible to do... Wow...

HARRY: I'm going to log off the Internet now and we'll just pretend you never saw this. (tries to shut down computer)

JOE: Wait, Harry, stop! I need to see this. Oh, my. That's...

HARRY: I'm going out. See you later.

JOE: Huh? Did you say something? Oh. Wow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Harry leaves, slamming the door behind him. Joe stares at the computer screen. He flexes his fingers.

[ck4829]

2. Well yeah... Save your seed! Turn it in for cash prizes!

[TeeYiYi]

3. In Salt Lake City...

...there was a well known gay bar called the Sun Tavern. During the late 70s, early 80s (and likely beyond), BYU would write down license plate numbers of cars in the parking lot and then expel/excommunicate any student found to be frequenting the Sun.

Pretty sleazy, true story.

TYY

[Initech]

4. It's not illegal, it's frowned upon.

[RainDog]

5. The Masturbator's Hymn