Wonkette tells you how to drink during the SOTU........

[LongTomH]

She gives rules for drinking during the State of the Union message and what to drink:

If Barack Obama uses pretty liberal words to dress up some Third Way nonsense, sip elegantly from a white wine spritzer.

If Barack Obama kills Osama Bin Laden again, shotgun a Budweiser, for Merica.

If Barack Obama class-wars the job creators and makers, by tyrannically asking them to pay their “fair share,” smash a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue on the floor so nobody else can have any.

If Obama mentions immigration reform, drink a shot of tequila. If Republicans don’t stand and applaud, drink another shot of tequila and yell at a Mexican.

If Scalia scowls, kneecap the person to your left.

If Joe Biden does something adorable, send him a lovely handwritten letter at Vice President Joe Biden, Naval Observatory, 3450 Massachusetts Ave NW, Washington, DC 20392.

You can tell she's got the hots for Joe Biden!

She also warns that: You're Going to be So Drunk By The End of The State Of The Union Message!

You might also keep the Wonkette blog up. She'll be live-blogging during the SOTU.

[earthside]

1. So this is like a sporting event?

Well, yeah, that is pretty much what the SOTU has turned into.

Who has the line of number of standing ovations?

Needless to say, I don't watch these SOTU Washington media extravaganza's anymore.