Ultra alpha male uber-masculine men annoy the hell out of me

[bluestateguy]

T'sall.

Just venting.

[Proles]

1. Well, I find them annoying too lol. nt

[Sparkly]

2. It's the phony ones I can't stand.

Especially spoiled frat boys who buy fake ranches to pretend they're cowboys and strut around with tennis balls in their arm pits and palms facing backwards.

Those are the worst.

[Initech]

3. And I *DESPISE* any TV commercial that endorses this type of behavior.

That goes for: Slim Jims, 1800 Tequila, Miller Lite, Axe Body Spray, Dr. Pepper, and like 100,000 others.

[ProfessorGAC]

35. I'm Not Getting The 1800 Thing

The rest of those commercials, i agree are most despisable. Not sure how you're fitting 1800 tequila in that crowd, though.
GAC

[Initech]

41. A perfect example:

"Whatever happened to men? Guys used to drink real tequila and talk about sports. Now they drink poser tequila and talk about what? Hair straightening? This is a commercial for tequila."

OR:

"Whatever happened to cocktails? Men used to drink real tequila. Now they drink these drink these drinks called Razzletinis. This drink is called tequila."

[ProfessorGAC]

67. Still Not Getting It

Sorry, we must just read this differently. I don't see that as alpha male behavior.
GAC

[Canuckistanian]

4. They're hiding something

Either impotence or homophobia.

It's as simple as that.

[Skidmore]

24. Or immaturity.

[Arugula Latte]

5. Me too.

I could never stand that type of guy. Never wanted to date them, ever. Yeech.

[USArmyParatrooper]

6. Sorry everyone.

I can't help it. I was born this way.

[ljm2002]

7. "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you" ... n/t

[Texasgal]

8. You are admitting this flaw?

Wow!

[alcibiades_mystery]

25. ROFL

Well-played.

[lumberjack_jeff]

9. Puny weakling. I crush.

Make hulk vaguely anxious and insecure.

[bluestate10]

10. That type is normally masking deep insecurities and fears. nt

[SharonAnn]

11. I, too, have always avoided them. Shallow, vain, self-centered, and just plain strange!

[kwassa]

12. just as long as I don't have to work for one.

They are usually complete idiots. Arrogance personified.

[MrMickeysMom]

13. They probably annoy many more than can be accounted for here...

Generally, I've found them.... OVER-emphasizing themselves to compensate for their inferiority complex.

However, it could be to make up for their tiny wee-wees...

[UTUSN]

14. But not *all* of us/your pals, right?!1 n/t

[ProgressiveProfessor]

15. I will go for your stinky bait...

and I will do it without a crack about metrosexuals with waxed chests and polished nails...

Alphas come in any and all genders.

Not sure what you consider masculine or uber masculine. You might want to define it some.

[provis99]

16. aaahhh! Nerd!!!!!! I smash!!!

[Zorra]

17. You mean like this kind of guy?

They annoy me also.

[Iggo]

18. I just treat 'em like bullies...

...unless they're signing my paychecks. Then I just let it go. But yeah, they're annoying as hell.

[Behind the Aegis]

19. They are great in hardcore gay porn, though! WOOF!

[eridani]

69. Playing with imagery for sexual gratification is pretty different from real life

It's the real life manifestations that bug me.

[Mopar151]

20. The opening lines of Full Metal Jacket....

"The US Marines - Home of the PHONY TOUGH and the CRAZY BRAVE!"
I've been around motorsports most of my life. My Dad was a combat-disabled WW2 vet, and I know several VN vets of heavy combat as well.
Outsiders think motorsports must be full of Ultra-Ubers, but the thing is - phony tough and real, flame-hardened crazy brave are kind of exclusive of each other.
Witness this recent news release about current NASCAR champ Tony Stewart:

•Stewart visits the Small Miracles Therapeutic Riding Center: #14-Tony Stewart displayed a different side of his personality Tuesday afternoon, decompressing for over two hours at the Small Miracles Therapeutic Riding Center in the rolling hills of Northeast Tennessee. Stewart not only chatted with a group of wide-eyed special needs children, he helped lead their horses around the barn. He also posed for family photos, signed autographs and shared personal stories. "This place is really close to my heart because I have a cousin who has a similar situation," Stewart said. "To see how programs like this help children, it's much bigger than what we're doing with racing." Stewart became so enamored with the young riders that he had to be pulled away at the last second to conduct a scheduled satellite interview with ESPN. "To see how these kids connect with their horses and ponies is pretty cool," Stewart said. "We over complicate our lives a lot of times. It's neat to be able to detach from all that and make life simpler for a couple hours.&quot Bristol Herlad Courier and see images of the event here)

[classof56]

38. Thank you for posting this!

Nice read.

[Mopar151]

65. Hey, the real tough guys know how brave they are

And what they're capable of ramming through and riding out, while scared shitless, half frozen, upside down and on fire. They could give a fuck whether some fool thinks they're tough or not. It makes 'em free their inner marshmallow when it's appropriate - 'specially for kids, puppies, and wittle bunny wabbits.

[Major Nikon]

21. Seems a bit like a broad brush approach to me

I've known a few people who most would consider "uber-masculine" who I consider quite broad minded. Is it too much to ask to judge people by their actions rather than their appearance and mannerisms?

[Posteritatis]

22. The "ultra alpha" part kind of narrows the brush. (nt)

[Broderick]

23. Like Alec Baldwin

And Robert Redford, George Clooney, Bruce Springsteen, Matt Damon, Samuel Jackson, Robert De Niro, Ben Affleck?

[seabeyond]

26. you would have to help me out. i was raised in a family of them

what exactly is the issue?

i see we are broadbrushing all of who these men are in a bad way, but i am not sure what the specific allegations are.

[Codeine]

27. There's nothing inherently bad in masculine alphas.

JFK was one. President Obama seems to be one. Someone upthread mentioned Clooney and Pitt, who seem to be quite decent guys.

And then there's this dude



who is relentlessly alpha, and who is still pretty damned awesome.

I'll cop to NOT being even vaguely an alpha male, but we're social animals, and social animals in groups will always evince some form of pack behavior. I don't condemn myself for being a slightly wimpy introvert, so I can't turn around and talk shit about a person who is naturally and unabashedly manly and leadership-oriented.

[Romulox]

30. Rollins is a mental midget with a big mouth--hardly a poster boy for a thoughtful alpha male.

Two words for Henry: Glenn Danzig--you'll never be 'im.

[EOTE]

37. Mostly because he'd need to chop off his legs at the knees to be at the same height.

And Rollins has also been heard from since the late 80s, so they've got that difference as well.

[Codeine]

39. Danzig is a literal midget who had ONE good solo song.

Granted, it was a great song, but how long can he coast on "Mother" and old cassette recordings of "We Are 138"?

[EOTE]

44. LOL. You said it so I don't have to.

And I thank you for that.

[Romulox]

47. They're BOTH imbecilic steroid rockers. One is more entertaining than the other. nt

[EOTE]

50. Rollins is far from imbecilic, he's quite bright.

You give them both an audience and a microphone with no instruments and Rollins could keep the crowd entertained for hours while Danzig would stand there and wonder where his groupies went.

[Romulox]

51. I find his "spoken word" utterly repellent. Very much like the rantings of a bully.

I don't have an estimation of his "intelligence". I simply don't care to hear the rants of a shirtless man.

I like Glenn Danzig because the Misfits were the coolest skate band in the 1980s. I am not a "groupy" of his, nor have I ever been to one of his concerts.

Hope this clears things up!

[EOTE]

53. I don't really have much against Danzig.

But when I hear Rollins get attacked and compared negatively to Danzig, I can't help but have some fun with the comparison.

I don't see how anyone could compare Rollins' spoken word to the rantings of a bully, though. From all of the spoken word that I've heard of his, he seems to hate bullies with a white hot passion. He goes out of his way to show his disdain for bullies, conservative ones in particular.

[Romulox]

46. Ever hear a little tune called "Where Eagles Dare"?

edit: missed the "solo" part. I might have to agree with you on the solo part. Still, *I* ain't no GD SOB.

[HughBeaumont]

63. Have you heard Danzig try to sing lately?

I can't link to it because I'm at work, but last year Metallica got him on stage to sing the Misfits tunes they cover for Garage Days . . . Dear GOD, not only did Danzig let himself go to Pizza Hut, but his voice is pretty much all but shot at this point.

[myrna minx]

42. I've never seen Rollins carry kitty litter.

[IMG][/IMG]

I *love* this photo. I picture Danzig staying up all night reading LOLcats.

[EOTE]

45. That's kitty litter... OF THE DAMNED!

You making it out to be regular ol' kitty litter does a great disservice to Danzig and his legion of fans.

[Romulox]

48. Glenn's appearance on Aqua Teen Hunger Force was awesome, too.

Can you imagine Henry Rollins being able to poke fun at himself like this?

http://video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/meatghost.html

[EOTE]

54. I can, but Danzig's ATHF appearance was pretty awesome.

Far more blood soaked than the typical ATHF episode.

[Romulox]

28. Women *love* them, though. It's a reality. nt

[Jennicut]

31. Some women. I couldn't marry a guy like that.

It's almost a cartoon character. Thankfully my husband is more the class clown type. My ideal man is more Will Ferrell, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell. Maybe I am weird?

[Fawke Em]

36. No we don't.

I keep reading this tripe, but I never actually see anyone actually falling for guys like this. They may like to look at them, but date or marry them? No.

[Odin2005]

29. I'm a guy and I hate macho men.

[TwilightGardener]

32. Haven't met one yet that isn't a complete tool.

[Nye Bevan]

33. Does Hugh Jackman count? (nt)

[joeglow3]

34. And yet, women still flock to them like stink on shit

I heard say this ALL THE TIME in college, and yet us nice guys never stood a chance...

[Codeine]

40. Oh god, not the "Nice Guy" argument.

This never goes well.

[joeglow3]

43. Truth sucks, huh?

[Selatius]

70. I've seen arguments break down this way.

A woman would complain about the douchebags in her life and wonder where all the good men are. Then, some guy would reply that there are plenty of good men. It's just that they aren't her type.

Nice guys finish last does have some modicum of truth to it. Men don't have a monopoly on stupidity on this planet. Women can make just as many idiotic mistakes, and they've proven in my experience that they're just as willing as men to make them.

[Scout]

72. ALL women? or just the "hawt" ones you want fuck?

we could also say men still flock to pretty, shallow women, with big tits and blond hair, and leave the nice ones home alone.

[treestar]

73. Exactly

The nice guy who claims he can't get a woman is doing exactly what he condemns. He's not looking for the "nice" girl, but the "hot" girl.

[ThatsMyBarack]

49. I have a good nickname for them:

WAMPOS: White Alpha Male Piece of S---

[Whisp]

52. yep. can't stand to be near the braying jackasses.

[frogmarch]

55. I don't know any, but

the guy - says he's a medical doctor, I think - who is in a workout machine commercial, bragging that he's in in better shape than his son...well, that guy irks me.

[Taverner]

56. I never got it either

Although let's get some definitions here - would you consider Henry Rollins uber masculine? For me he's about as masculine as you can get without becoming a douche.

[snooper2]

57. Whiny little punk beeyatches who don't want to get dirty changing a tire annoy the hell out of me...

Like, Mitt Romney

[FSogol]

58. Here are some names of Ultra alpha male uber-masculine men

thanks for MST3K (From Space Mutiny)

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Crunch Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Junkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Rip Slagcheek
Punch Sideiron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson (oh, wait...)
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Beef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchmeat
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef

[Codeine]

60. Love that show.

There is (or was, anyway) a DUer who goes by Big McLargehuge. Always made me smile to see his posts.

[raouldukelives]

59. Eh. I've met some nice ones who get it.

But for the most part the ones around here love to drive giant trucks that never see the dirt and are outfitted with halogen headlights that shine like small suns when they tailgate you for trying to maximize gas savings and be as much of a friend to the environment as you can be in your small car. Then they blaze past you hollering out the window as they burn up as much as the planet as they can in this short life.
The earth is their playground and anyone coming after them can go to hell as far as they are concerned.

[Tabasco_Dave]

61. If you mean guys like this

I'm with you 100%. Notice how many nice women end up with guys like these, my mom included.

[lumberjack_jeff]

62. Johnny Cash. Can I get a "hell yeah?"?

[jsmirman]

64. I consider myself a Delta Male

I've thought about this a lot over the last few years, and it's what I settled on.

I have no desire to subjugate, this makes me feel that I'm not alpha.

I have a great desire to not have people mess with me, get in my face, or poke this bear. I am a "mess with the bull, you get the horns" kind of guy. I don't go looking for trouble, but many have found that I'm not the trouble you want to go looking for.

But what I really am about is change. I don't think I have any interest in this stupid alpha, beta, etc. crap.

I want to bring positive change to the world. I want something better.

So I think this makes me a Delta male.

Is H20 Man an alpha man? I think not. He is a fucking MAN.

[Safetykitten]

66. I'm an Alfalfa male. I even have the cowlick.

[SmileyRose]

68. I thank God for them.

I'm under 5 feet and top 100# only on a fat day and while no wimp my body can only do so much. Thank God for chainsaw wielding, deer hunting, fireman, paratrooper types that are willing to do the grunt work.

If it wasn't for those guys, who would shovel out the waste water treatment plant when the pumps need replacing? We'd all be up to our whatsitz in human ick.

[TransitJohn]

71. Most of them are poseurs and pretenders.

Like this guy:

[Marrah_G]

74. I like all sorts of people, including masculine men

I just don't like mean people or dishonest people or bigoted people. Other then that, I am an equal opportunity liker/lover