Once upon a time my Sister-in-law was raised in a democratic union loving home than she got married.

[diabeticman]

She is a Republican lover now and her mind set has completely changed.


My wife and s-i-l 's mother is turning 75 in Feb. Now around late Sept wife thought it would be nice to have a 75th SURPRISE birthday party for her mother. We had finally gotten over that hump of the $800 in car repairs we needed done and living in our new place we are hoping to eventually get a nest egg going or at least a small savings.

anyways mother in law is always having money issues. she is retired and even though between the pension and social security she is making about what she made each month working ( she retired about 12 years ago.) she is always in a bind. My wife is always trying to help her out when she can. After christmas she begged me and I eventually agreed to add her to our cell phone allowing her to make calls long distance and talk unlimitedly.


Now keep in mind we are stuck in this hell hole of a town because of my wife's crazy idea of obligation to her mother. SIL couldn't wait to leave and only comes in to town and stays the min. amount of time. So after christmas wife wanted to nail down if we are doing the party OR as SIL first suggested give the mother the money and forget the party.

Wife flipped flopped on the issue and than sil BUT today SIL insisted that they have a party and demanded to know when wife was going to come up with her half of the $500 bill for the rental space and catering.

This news came after I gave my wife some bad news of our own Our cat Brody-and the one she is attached to is really sick and has issues. To back up a little we notice Brody has an eye infection and my wife was worried he was losing weight. Brody is a bean pole--at least if he was a human but the lightest of the 3 cats. so she makes an appointment with a new vet. We had a vet but let's just say the vet pissed me off and I had no intent on going back than we moved and all those problems and wife getting the new job and than the new move. We care for our cats. We love our cats but a vet visit was low on our list for a while Giving them food shelter love and a safe place to live was higher.

anyways $150 dollar visit not ONLY med for the eye infection BUT YES he is under weight, and he has pneumonia and THAT isn't the worse part they found a lump in his neck that they need to operate on. Surgery will be starting around $150 -200. The blood work showed his blood sugar normal, kidney and liver functioning well so that was good news.

So my sister in law expects us to come up with money for a party at a place she hasn't booked yet AND yet gets pissy at my wife for believing we should do a small cake and give her money and time together. My wife is going to help out her mom after this party is over and sil things she has done the greatest thing in the world and goes back home two states away..

Any suggestions?

Also what is the best way to get liquid meds down a cats throat and ointments in his eye.

[CurtEastPoint]

1. Get a nice big towel and gently wrap kitty in it and swaddle him and wrap him like a burrito

only the head is out, limbs in. It may take 2 people but once he's immobilized ike that it should be easier. Use the two finger approach to squeeze jaws open and squirt with other hand. Good luck!

[diabeticman]

3. thanks

[hedda_foil]

9. After squirting, immediately hold kitty's mouth shut firmly and gently massage ...

Massage his cheeks and throat in a downward motion until you are certain he's swallowed the meds. If you skip this step, he'll probably hold it in his mouth until you let go and then spit it out.

As for your wife's sister, your wife needs to tell her that you can't afford to spend that much on a party for their mother. Have the party at your home and give her the money to make her life more comfortable all year long.

[LiberalEsto]

2. I would ask your wife to call her sister and tell her there is no way you can afford $500

under your present circumstances. Just be honest. She can ask her sister if they can work together and come up with other options that wouldn't clean you out financially.

If the sister won't cooperate, just do whatever you and your wife want and let the sister do what she wants. Bring a birthday cake and give her mother some money if you can.

Do you have an eye-dropper for the liquid meds? Just stick it in the cat's mouth while holding the jaws shut, and keep the jaws closed until the medicine is swallowed.

Did the vet give any instructions about the eye ointment? If not, call and ask.

Good luck with everything!

[Trailrider1951]

8. I agree with LiberalEsto

Be honest with SIL. If she cannot understand your financial situation, too bad.

But I disagree about the cat meds. Two words: Fancy Feast. I take about a teaspoon of the Flaked Fish and Shrimp flavor and mix the meds into it. My cat snarfs it down and asks for more. Easier on you and the cat.

[bettyellen]

4. Did they give you a syringe for the liquid meds? Also, there is a cheap med that increases their

appetite a great deal- it's an anti depressant- I would call and ask them for a few of those if she is getting thin. I only have luck mixing meds in the food, my cat spits out everything.
Anyway- I would spend a bit of time looking for groups (or listservs) that deal with your cats particular health problem. There are always wonderful suggestions regarding healthier foods and new treatments and great little tips. Yahoo and Google groups will have groups to "join" just find a busy one and search away by key words.

One last thing, if you are giving her antibiotics, give her a pro biotic too(plain yogurt, plain kefir, or vita flora) to help keep her tummy happy and healthy. If she doesn't have an appetite, she may already have intestinal issues.
If she gets constipation or diarrhea, mix in some canned plain pumpkin- and definitely add some yogurt to her food.
Good luck, and find that list serve group!

[Warpy]

5. First, cuddle the cat before and after

Use a syringe to get the liquids in, although the dropper in the Amoxacillin bottle will do.

You Tube has been forthcoming, just follow the directions for pilling (aiming the cat's face away from you, the claws will go with it), only poke the syringe in and squirt. This method works, my old girl needs multiple medications a day for her renal failure.

ETA: and tell SIL she's on her own for some catered extravaganza. You can't afford her ambition.

[avebury]

6. How much does your SIL provide to help her mother

on an ongoing basis? It sounds like your wife has done what she can on a regular basis while her sister stays out of state. If your SIL wants to play the "let's split the cost of the party hall rental game" then your wife should provide her with a summary bill for all the money that she has spent on their money and your SIL can pony up half the cost.


My Dad was one of 7 children and the youngest sister took the brunt of taking care of their Dad, Step-Mom and a couple of elderly aunts. My Dad and his brother, who all but one, lived out of state really appreciated what my aunt did and chipped in money to help her out because they knew that it took a lot of time to look after so many elderly relatives. They made sure that my aunt did not suffer financially for assuming so much responsibility. If your SIL is not there on the scene pitching in to help Mom, then she needs to be pitching in financially. Don't let her guilt trip your wife into spending money that you don't have. Assistance is not always tied solely to money. Your wife has probably invested a lot of time taking care of her mother and that will probably not change has your MIL ages as demands on her time might grow.

You can have a nice party without going into debt.

This is about a party today but you might want to consider how things are going to be handled by your wife and SIL has their mother grows even more older and requires a lot more assistance. The issue is not going to go away.

My furbabies are my children in fur and I always try to do the best that I can do for them. I would do what you could do for your cat.

[Grey]

7. What Avebury said….

end of conversation.