Viking blonde woman's random thoughts on this male leering convo.

[elehhhhna]

I have never been beautiful. Striking? Gamine? Sure. In my youth I resembled Mia Farrow - but I was not gorgeous.

I am six foot two, trim, and blonde. So when I walk into a room all eyes are on me, regardless of the circumstances, whether I like it or not. People notice. I realized in my teens that I may as well own that. I practice good posture and make eye contact. When I carry myself like a Queen, people are generally respectful.

I enjoy an approving look from a guy. Or a woman, for that matter. I have rarely been leered at. It is true that men of a certain race all over my hometown of Chicago smile and say "Hey, Slim!" when they see me. I do not find this creepy.

The ONLY time a man overtly and disturbingly leered at me was Bushco's James Baker in the Shell bldg. in Houston about 12 years ago. It was horrormovie creepy BEFORE I even recognized him.

I know this post is really scattered and random but I'm wondering if it's the more full-figured women who bear the brunt of this stuff? Is it more overt in proportion to the woman's youth? Tell me your experience...

[gollygee]

1. I was a tall, thin young woman

I'd get people saying "Hi" and wanting a response, people telling me to smile and wanting me to smile at them and then wanting further conversation, people asking me what I was reading, and sometimes random comments as I was walking about my ass or whatever.

I'd ignore it but it was annoying. What really bothred me was the ones who felt entitled to have me respond and give them attention in return, and then got upset when I didn't want to talk to them. They would call me a bitch or some other similar thing for not wanting to talk. The sense of entitlement is what's creepy and scary.

There were those of course who would simply proposition me seemingly assuming I was a prostitute. This started when I was about 11. I was a tomboy and never dressed in a way that would seem to encourage that or any of it, even when I was an older teen/young woman, but the fact is that this kind of guy doesn't need encouragement. Even if women did wear burkas in the US, men like this would become burka fetishists and women would still get it.

Leering was annoying but if it wasn't accompanied by a come-on, I'd feel uncomfortable but not say anything to the guy. And by leering, I mean getting stared at, and me looking elsewhere and hoping it was just a temporary thing, but then looking up again and still being stared at, and then me looking around hoping to find someone I could sit with as it isn't as bad if you have a companion, and then noticing he's still staring, and then trying to come up with an exit plan that keeps me away from him, trying not to look to see if he's still staring because every time you look at a guy who is leering at you, it feels like he gets encouraged. Women don't want to encourage this kind of thing. It isn't just being looked at.

I'm middle aged now and thankfully don't get a lot of this anymore, though it still happens sometimes.

[BainsBane]

3. Yes, I was frequently propositioned as a prostitute, mainly when I was between 10-13.

After that, not so much. I think Johns prefer girls very young.

[gollygee]

4. You're right

I remember it until I was about 14 or 15 and then it must have just been occasional.

[BainsBane]

5. Disgusting, isn't it?

When you think about the fact those men are really really pedophiles, and that prostitution caters to them.

[BainsBane]

6. I think being solicited may also be a function of where one grows up

I grew up in the inner city in an area where prostitutes walked the main street. The police station on the block took takes and protected the illegal activity. If someone grew up in a more affluent area, they may not have had those same experiences.

[BainsBane]

2. Actually yes

I think it makes a big difference what your body looks like. Some men tend to sexualize women with large breasts and rears. When I was younger, I would have friends remark that I got a lot more shit on the street than they ever did.

Now I got very good at tuning it out. Some things were kind of funny, like when a gust of wind blew my skirt up exposing my panties and a group of men (this was in Brazil) across the street all started cheering and clapping. I didn't feel threatened. I was in my early thirties. I had long been used to it. When it bothered me is when I was very young, like ten and twelve. Then it was terrifying.

[xulamaude]

7. I was tall and thin too

not as tall as you, but tall enough, and I did get noticed simply for that.

When I was very young (12 -16) it was sexualized. As I got older I found that I was more often mistaken for a man.