Congress Collapses from Exhaustion After Doing Job

[babylonsister]

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/12/congress-collapses-from-exhaustion-after-doing-job.html

Congress Collapses from Exhaustion After Doing Job
Posted by Andy Borowitz



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House of Representatives adjourned this evening after the legislative body collapsed from exhaustion brought on by hours of doing its job.

Hundreds of congressmen complained of headaches, dizzy spells, and extreme fatigue after putting in what sources called “a six, maybe seven-hour day.”

With the nation headed over the fiscal cliff, there was no indication when Congress might reconvene, since many of its members had to be hospitalized after what was described as their near-total physical meltdown.

According to Dr. Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota Medical School, “Being forced to listen, compromise, and act like adults for minutes at a time was more punishing than these people could bear.”

Dr. Logsdon said that the gruelling ordeal of doing their jobs would likely keep members of Congress in the hospital for weeks.

“I don’t see these people getting back to work until February at the earliest,” he said. “And that’s great news for this country. Happy New Year, America.”

[Brigid]

1. That last paragraph:

[Marie Marie]

2. That was great.

If any of these slackers had to do a REAL job (replacing a roof, delivering mail in all kinds of nasty weather, picking up your garbage, or even sitting in a stifling, soul-numbing office cubicle for 8 hours), all for crap wages, they wouldn't last a week. Guaranteed!

[sheshe2]

3. OMG! Get the fainting couch and the smelling salts STAT!

Better yet...

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Thank you bsister~

[blkmusclmachine]

4. HA!

[louis-t]

5. I wonder if any of them broke a nail.

Love Borowitz.